Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

Yes having the milk in the fridge definitely feels like a safety net for me too. If we ever come out of lockdown it will be useful if I need to leave the house, but we split shift the night time so predominantly I would like DH to be able to still bottle feed then. Just not sure if expressing will then mean I have nothing available for DS if he wants a feed soon after, the logistics are hurting my tired head!

Thats great news about your routine! Ours has been a bit better this past week, so im hoping reintroducing the breast won't upset the apple cart but will see howbit goes. DH has a good chunk of time off after today which should make working it all out a little bit easier.

I think I am so worried about how much he is taking because his weight was such a big issue for so long, hopefully that will ease - he is a different baby now and I am very sure he will let me know if he hasn't had enough food!! And we are setup to give him bottles of express or formula if breast isn't working, so hopefully im worrying about nothing. He doesn't seem fatter but he does seem longer!

I keep telling myself if I wasn't worrying about this it would be something else anyway!!

@AnxiousLady1 last two weeks here for me. Lots of uncomfortable movements and big shake shifting movements. Oh and many many shocking fanny daggers!

I really want to enjoy these last two weeks of my last ever pregnancy.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas however it looks this year.

I've had a shit day after having no sleep. I'm very emotional about the upcoming birth and for the first time since lockdown
I've seen some friends (H's friends really) for a walk. They were asking lots of questions about how I'm feeling and I felt a bit trapped. Everyone thinks this is just a lovely new pregnancy whereas we know it's like a living nightmare to the last moment.

@footprintsintheslow The anxiety definitely doesn't go away until you are holding them in your arms. I understand that. When I was in theatre for my caesarean the anaesthesiologist had to coach me through taking deep breaths as my heart rate was going through roof. This was solely because any nerves I had were only that my baby would be delivered okay. I'd no reason to think otherwise, as I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and they checked him right beforehand etc. But we all know on this group what can go wrong and don't take anything for granted. Even when discussing the possibility of a second baby with my DH I've said that the part that worries me most is not having two small children to look after, or doing the newborn stage again. It's going through the anxiety of pregnancy again for 9 months. Despite there being no issues with this pregnancy I know it won't make me relax in any subsequent pregnancies. I actually think the stresses of having a newborn and learning to breastfeed and worried about them being okay, haven't been quite as constant as the stresses I constantly had in pregnancy that something might go wrong.

Hoping you get through the next couple of weeks okay. Not long to go until you have this little one with you. Xx

I'm so sorry you are struggling @footprintsintheslow, I hope that you managed to get some sleep and feel a little better today.

I really struggled in the last few weeks of pregnancy too, partly anxiety and partly thinking "I am going to be such an awful mum, what have I done?". I have friends who loved pregnancy but for me it was a means to an end, I also dread the idea of doing it again.

You are so close now, its not much longer to endure - and I'm sure it will be all worth it. I know its hard not to think the worst when you know what the worst can be, but you can do this. Are you able to get a break at home and just do something relaxing for yourself?

I do feel better after a nap yesterday abs good cry then a full nights sleep.
The friends were only asking normal questions, things I would've asked someone before I'd experienced pregnancy loss. I wish I'd had a answer ready that was pleasant but to the point and got the message across.

Good im glad @footprintsintheslow, sleep deprivation is responsible for a lot. And hormones!

Just because they are "normal" questions, doesn't mean they arent upsetting - its the same for any kind of loss or trauma. You've just got to keep powering through, you don't owe anyone any kind of answer.

You're another day closer already!

Is anyone still here waiting to have their baby?

Hi @footprintsintheslow, yes I’m still waiting to have my baby. Induction is booked in for 4th February. How are you getting on?

Me, I'm still hanging around. Not due until 24th. Are you still waiting also @footprintsintheslow

Glad to see someone else is still waiting @FloDaffodil, I thought I was all alone. What's your due date?

Hey ladies, hope you are all coping ok... Not long to go now for you xx

My waiting is over and baby girl is here!

Really wish everyone good luck with their baby's arrival. The 24th and 4th isn't far away at all. I think things speed up at the end of trimester three.

I became very emotional as my due date arrived and also as I arrived at the hospital.
Being alone was hard at first. What's the birth plans or arrangements for partners where you are? Mine was allowed in after 4cm dilated/waters going/active labour. Whichever came first. Plus he was allowed to stay as it was quiet in the middle of the night.

Congratulations @footprintsintheslow!!

Congratulations @footprintsintheslow! She's gorgeous!

@footprintsintheslow Congratulations!!!! What a cutie!!!! At my trust partners are allowed in from start to finish. I don't know if that has changed at all since the new lockdown was announced.

Oh congratulations @footprintsintheslow, she is gorgeous! How are you both doing, are you home?

Thanks everyone yesterday felt like a good day then last night was horrendous. I'm so tired and my nipples are agony. I know it'll get better but it's tough.

We haven't announced anything on fb yet. I'm trying to think of how to do it sensitively when I know some friends are having fertility issues and I'm sure there's fb friends suffering who I don't even know about.

I hope everyone is trying to enjoy their last few days and weeks. It's hard at the end when you are so uncomfortable though.

Congratulations @footprintsintheslow!! A beautiful baby girl and so cute in that little woolly hat. Hope you’re feeling better today and getting a bit of rest when you can.
Current rules where I am are that partners can be with you between 10am-6pm on the antenatal and postnatal wards and can be there outside those hours if you’re in active labour. I wouldn’t be surprised if they update the rules though as hospitals are under so much pressure at the moment. After so long at home not seeing anyone the idea of going into a shared ward is a bit nerve-wracking, especially if other people don’t keep their masks on or don’t wear them properly. I went for a scan at the hospital the other day and kept imagining there was a cloud of COVID everywhere!

So behind but congratulations @footprintsintheslow! Wonderful wonderful news. How are our remaining ladies getting on this week? Here for you if you need anything xx

Yes I'm still here for chatting even if the thread has gone quiet. X

How is everyone doing? My little Henry is just over 5 months old now and I still can't quite believe it!!

Hi @Rachael321 hope you and Henry are doing ok. Amelia turns 5 months in just under a week - is crazy how fast the time is going! Started looking at getting her registered at a nursery for when I go back to work which is kind depressing. I really hate the idea of leaving her when she has had zero interaction with other kids and barely any interaction with adults other than me and her daddy... We aren't able to set up a support bubble so it's just been the 3 of us since she was born pretty much. Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

Hi everyone great to hear back from people.

Almost three weeks here and I'm really trying to soak in these moments of my last baby. I try and even feel glad during the night feeds lol.

I am anxious still abs when I wake up and can feel I've been clenching my teeth in the night.

These babies are so precious aren't they.

@Sammilou2312 Similar situation here. Our DS is three months now and has still not had any interaction with anyone other than DH and I. Still not been introduced to grandparents etc. They've already missed so much it's really sad.

@AnxiousLady1 we were lucky that we were able to introduce her to grandparents at a couple weeks old but only the once. We have done regular video calls with them since though and she seems to recognise them now x