Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

Thanks @Hagster and @footprintsintheslow - baby boy still not gaining weight unfortunately, even though we are bottle feeding expressed milk so he is getting the right amount. Back at the hospital for more tests next week, im so worried and frustrated.

Hope everyone else is doing OK xx

@whiffle77 sorry to hear that. How much is he taking in the expressed bottle feeds? Is he jaundiced at all? And are you getting many wet/dirty nappies from him? Assume your midwife has already asked and addressed all these questions though.

Also, how is your own recovery going? You'll need to make sure you look after yourself fully if you've to be going for hospital appointments for your baby so you have energy etc. Otherwise you'll become more run down. Important you are taken care of as well xx

Thanks @AnxiousLady1. It varies, normally about 70ml but then has smaller or extra feeds too. I log every single feed on an app and he has had quite a lot more over 24 hours as a total than he is meant to every day. He is still a bit jaundiced but they tested his levels in hospital, he has a prolonged jaundice test next week. Plenty of wet and dirty nappies. He has been spitting up more since on bottles so will lose some of the calories that way. He seems really alert and healthy in himself which is the main thing!

I'm trying to but not that easy DH is making sure I get sleep as we split the night shift, im just so worried about him that it's a bit all consuming at the minute

If it helps at all my son was still ticking all those boxes when losing weight in first few weeks (nappies, little jaundiced, happy in himself). He took 90ml if I had it expressed to give him. I almost couldn't keep up with the supply and demand and worried. Said to midwife he would take the 90 but a lot of time I only had 50 or so expressed. She said that where I was getting less was an indicator that he was taking more, so was feeding more effectively leaving less to be expressed. Does your baby fall asleep on the breast? That was big issue for me. He did that a lot so wasn't getting at the fattier milk. One diff I did have from your experience was he was not spitting up anything at that stage. That really only started in last week or two. So perhaps it is making a little difference for your sons weight gain? Did midwife recommend infacol or anything like that?

Try not to worry as if he's the right amount if nappies etc he's obviously feeding well. But I know that's easier said than done. And do keep trying to look after yourself. The constant feeds and section recovery are draining enough without adding this worry into mix.

I've been taking Pregnacare breast feeding vitamins and I genuinely think I've noticed a diff on days where I've been lax about taking them- ie I've been way more letharigic and felt run down.

Hes not doing any breast feeds at the min, its all bottle feeds so we can monitor what he is having. He was very lazy when we were breastfeeding though, which I think is where we started having problems. No they didn't recommend anything for spitting up except burping/sit him up after a feed which we already do! Is infacol worth a try? I think the bottles have made the spitting up worse, as he wasn't doing it really when breastfed. He is very happy and alert which is the main thing, and he's so lovely in every other way.

I'm trying to be regular with post natal vitamins, and also shove some toast down me when I get chance - DH is working again now so it is harder to eat or nap without him!

Thanks @AnxiousLady1 xxx

@Whiffle77 I know what that's like with DH not being around I honestly have days where I struggle to eat as well. I've lost track of amount of cups of tea that have gone cold in front of me 🙈

I was recommended infacol by midwife as I felt DS was making gurgly noises when put on his back at night. It's for symptoms of colic but I was told to try it once a day when I mentioned increase in DS posseting.

Your little one will definitely have more wind with the bottle. We noted that with DS. They take in more air with the teat and they regulate flow of the milk more themselves with breast so might gulp more on bottle. I see how fast my DS take a bottle and always worry! Also, when they spit up that can also mean they've just drank more than their little tummies can fit.

Hi @Whiffle77 belated congratulations xxx we’re having very slow weight gain, after a few weeks of losing at the beginning also. I have a low supply due to lack of glandular breast tissue so I mix feed with formula so a bit different. Same in that she’s alert and happy, right number of nappies etc. Great they’re doing tests and of course it’s a worry but it sounds like you’re doing a great job. The only additional thing is I take floradix iron tablets, apparently more easily absorbed than other iron tablets, and good for after a section particularly as you tend to lose more blood. For the spitting up, have you loooked up paced feeding for bottles? It helped my baby with stopping spitting up as feeding us much slower. Just another idea x

Its hard watching them spit up when you are trying to fatten them up @anxiouslady1! It seems like a massive waste. Yes I have given up on cups of tea 😂

Thanks @tmc14 that's reassuring. I asked about formula but as I have enough to express, they don't think it would make a difference. I read about paced feeding, but they also don't want him to spend too long feeding as then he will burn too many calories - so its a tricky balancing act! I was on floradix before my section so I will get back on it I think.

@Whiffle77 I didn’t mean you should ass formula, sorry I hope it didn’t read as that! Ah, makes sense on the paces feeding. Poor wee thing, my daughter is currently 9th centile, having been born on 61st, but she is fine, just settling into her line. I’m really pleased my GP isn’t worried as I would really stress otherwise. My husband & I aren’t small & my son was massive so it’s weird having a dinky baby!! It sounds like you’re being really well looked after which is great.

Add not ass !! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh not at all @tmc14, I just meant I'd considered and asked about all options! Yes we are both tall, greedy and chunky so it doesn't feel right that he is so tiny!! We have been getting weighed every 48 hours which is obviously adding to my anxiety a lot, im pleased everyone is happy with your baby girl. Maybe he is just small and a slow gainer!

Oh, I really feel for you @Whiffle77 on the 48 hour weigh ins... my son was massive but kept losing weight every few weeks over the first few months... I cried at so many weigh ins while we figured out feeding. It’s so stressful and it’s easy to get obsessed with the charts. If it makes you feel better after several months if his weight being all over the place, he rocketed to 98th centile and stayed there. He’s still massive & heavy now at 3. Sometimes those first few months are so tricky & all over the place. I barely think about that time now.

Thats reassuring @tmc14 as well - I do wonder if they hadn't put us on such an awful and unsustainable feeding schedule last week, whether we would have just carried on gaining slowly and I couldve carried on breastfeeding. Feels like they upset our routine a bit and its been an uphill struggle since then. Hoping he is just a slow gainer and there is nothing wrong, I've been crying at each weigh in too so sounds very similar!! Glad to hear he is massive now

@Whiffle77 ah, when my son was little we were on a relentless 2hour schedule of breastfeeding, expressing, topping up, 40 mins sleep then start again 🤯 it almost pushed me over the edge. I’m sure you’ve already seen it but there’s also supplementary feeding systems to help with breastfeeding. If you want to, I’m sure he’ll be ok with relatching if you give it time. It’s so hard. But also, bottle feeding can be so comforting too, snuggled up, better eye contact. I’ve even seen posts where, when at home women bottle feed with their baby resting on their naked breast to add to that comforting feeling. DS was mostly bottle fed in the end & I don’t feel it impacted our bonding or experience at all.

Thats what they put us on last weekend @tmc14! And we ended up losing 100g somehow, as well as nearly killing us all!! I feel like that really tripped us up.
We are all enjoying bottle feeding, and means DH can be involved soon - hoping to reintroduce the breast at least partly once he is a better weight but also trying not to put too much pressure on myself.
Thanks again for the reassurance, and from @AnxiousLady1 - a bit of me feels like if we had been left alone for awhile to do our thing we might have been a bit better. But we are where we are, just got to keep building him up.

How is everyone else doing? This thread is so quiet now!

@whiffle77 if you run into any issues with your latch when you introduce breast again, try using shields. I say this as my DS takes bottle of expressed milk daily and rest is breast but always with shield. He cannot latch now without shields on as I think there's nipple confusion . But just occurred to me it might be a way for you to start easing him back onto it as the shields are pretty close to shape of a lot of these slow release bottle teats. Just a thought! But I'm sure a breastfeeding expert might make better recommendations . I just know that stage of them trying to latch can be quite stressful for mum and baby.

Hi everyone, I've been a bit absent with dreadful sciatica that had be bedbound and then shingles on top. It's been a bit shit but I'm so much better now and I'm really trying to bloom in my last few weeks but I honestly cannot be arsed.

This is my last pregnancy and I don't want to to whinge and limb to the finishing line but I am a bit.

36 weeks today!

@footprintsintheslow Glad you are feeling better! I think from 36 we3ks is when I started to wilt 😂 Until then I'd pretty much no negative symptoms. That was week I'd to stop yoga due to back pain, the stretchmarks suddenly appeared, and I got belly rash. Are you on maternity leave now or at least in position to relax in the final few weeks? Am I correct in thinking you will be having a section?

@AnxiousLady1 they've said no section now as placenta isn't in the way as they'd thought. So about the second week of January. I really want to enjoy these last weeks of what will be my last pregnancy but between illness, toddler, Covid restrictions and bickering with husband I feel drained.

I absolutely don't want to moan as I know people have it much worse than me out there.

Oh gosh @footprintsintheslow this is the place to moan if you are feeling rubbish. The last few weeks are very hard anyway, let alone if you have sciatica. Pregnancy for me was a means to an end, I really didn't enjoy it at all - and that's ok! Hope that you have a better few weeks, it won't be long now.

@footprintsintheslow How are you getting on with the final hurdle?

@Whiffle77 How's the feeding going?

Hi @AnxiousLady1 thanks for checking in! He has been consistently gaining weight now, and we have been discharged from both the doctors and the midwives now which is a relief.

We are still bottle feeding expressed milk, I started yesterday trying to reintroduce the boob but he is not having it. He gets really wound up about it. Spending the day in bed with lots of skin to skin today. Just also seen you suggested nipple shields previously, will try those later.

Had a review with the feeding team but they were no help to be honest. Not sure how long to keep trying for as I find his rejection really upsetting (and it cant be fun for him), its taking a big toll on me mentally - but the Internet suggests it could take up to a month to get started again!

How are you doing?

Hope everyone else is ok, babies and bumps too

Hi @Whiffle77 that's great to hear that he's been discharged and is gaining well! I would definitely suggest trying the shields. They are something you can ultimately wean them off of also, but it would be a good stepping stone to getting him on the breast. I have to use shields for all feeds and my son will also take a bottle of expressed. I've tried to get him to feed from the nipple directly but as in your case he gets stressed and it stresses me also. I reckon there is a lot of similarity between shield and bottle teat and have read recently that when shields are introduced it makes baby a bit of a lazy feeder in that they would have to work a little harder to latch on to nipple in correct way and can't be bothered after using shield for a while. 😂 There are ways to wean them off shields eventually and one suggestion is expressing for a few mins before feeding as this basically shakes your nipple and makes it protrude. Another is introducing nipple when they are sleepy and not necessarily hungry or swapping it in middle of a feed. Shields are obviously more convenient than bottles but in long run can still be a little faff with sterilizing and agubgry baby knocking them flying across the bed in middle of night feed 😂

Just had a feed off both breasts with the shields!! Straight in first time, no fussing - I really can't believe it! Thank you @AnxiousLady1!

He was a lazy feeder before the bottles so they just made him even worse i think. I've been monitoring every ml that we have fed him the last two weeks so it will be hard not knowing that - even if this works as more than just a one off I think he will have a bottle or two a day on DH shift, to make sure I can still get some sleep.

Are you almost all breast fed anxiouslady, or does he have a bottle every day?

@Whiffle77 That's brilliant! I aim for one bottle a day and to express once a day. Sometimes this is not achievable between either not finding time to express that day, or it just being more convenient to breastfeed than give the bottle. The bottles have been good when I've had to leave DS at home with DH for a bit to go to doctors appointments. They are like a safety net. He likes to soothe on the breast also (with shield), so more lately it's quicker and easier for me to give the breast than to go warm up a bottle. If he wakes hungry in the night for example, he will instantly stop crying when given the boob so regardless of me saying DH will do a night feed, I find it harder to listen to him cry while DH heats bottle etc. And I'm obviously not asleep then so there's no point 😂

We have started to try get into some sort of routine over the last week or so. DS is 7 weeks now. So at night time he tends to wake every 3 hours or so for feeding and this sometimes pushes to 4 hours. So between 11-12 and 7 he will have one feed usually. So I've been sleeping better of late! Which means I opt for the bottle to be given during the day when I need a window of time as he feeds a little more frequently during day but also is more difficult to put down in the cot.

Appreciate it's hard to tell whether they are getting enough on breast. I was just always told they will stop once they've had enough themselves. And baby is more efficient at draining the breast and getting milk than a pump is - another reason I opt a little more for breast over pump if I feel they are becoming a little full. We have a scales at home and sometimes attempt to weigh him before bath time by my DH weighing himself first and then stepping on scales again holding naked baby to see the difference 😂 But my health visitor wasn't really interested in specific weight number and basically just said "does he feel heavier" and "is he outgrowing his clothes?" 🙄 Not exactly a certain way of measuring but you will start to relax a bit more with it as you do start to see the changes in them without weighing.