Things you wish you'd been told?

[JeniRog]

Just that really...!

I'm 30 weeks (almost 31) pregnant with my first baby, a little boy due on 24th October.

I thought I'd ask the question of "What do you wish you'd been told before having your first baby?"

This can be pregnancy related, childbirth related, after-birth related or newborn related! I'm only asking as I feel I've had to google SO much and find the information myself- e.g. I didn't know until recently that I'm likely to bleed for weeks after birth! People only tell you the lovely things, don't they?!

Please feel free to comment and enlighten me (and each other!) xx

That your bits can swell up during pregnancy! I had a shower one morning and was freaked out! 😂

That you cry for 3 days after the birth, it’s apparently because of hormones settling down but boy did I think something was wrong with me.
And you won’t always get that rush of love for your baby straight away. It took me a few weeks to love my daughter bless her.

That an epidural isn't always possible for various reasons (sepsis in my case) and how jaundice is managed and treated.

Also if your waters break before your really go into labour, just how much water can actually pour out of you for days!

They put their whole head up your fanjo to measure how dilated you are!!!!!

Hand!!!!!

Panic not, they definitely don't put their head up there.

That wearing support pants could have prevented my c-section overhang from forming.

That by the end of pregnancy you are so huge, swollen, fed up and uncomfortable that you can’t wait for the birth . Nature’s little trick there.

That there is a good chance your going to be really fucked after the birth. So plan and prepare to rest and I mean really rest.

Lots of food in the freezer. If you have some one who will come round to help you - let them. Maybe employer a cleaner.

Plenty of painkillers

Really loose pajamas.

My first birth was relatively ‘easy’ - gas and air.

My other two were dreadful. Needed iron tablets after both and was quite poorly afterwards because of complications during birth and was very weak.

Women tend to just get on with it but look back months down the line and think ‘wow I was really fucked!’

Tbh t’s one of the things that worry me about my dc having a baby - the bloody recovery!

Breastfeeding is really, really hard and support is non existent (or at least it was in my area).

@DaphneFanshaw 😂😂😂 best autocorrect EVER.

Now that's how you scare a FT mum 😂

Things I wasn’t told about after labour

The bleeding could go on so long

It’s normal for your hair to fall out in handfuls after a few months!

It’s normal for your joints to feel loose for up to a year after birth and hobble around like an old lady

Breastfeeding can be a lot harder than I anticipated. Expressing can also be bloody hard. Oh and if you express and freeze breast milk, test for excess lipase first. I found out that hard way and ended up having to dump litres in the bin

@DaphneFanshaw . I'm pregnant with my first and that scared the shit out of me!

I'm due a couple of days after you, i fully expected nausea and morning sickness which I had one of but no one told me about the horrendous joint pains, carpal tunnel and night sweats part.

That you'll feel like you're leaking from everywhere a few days after birth and that the bleeding can last for 6 weeks and you might well end up with piles to add to the glamour!

That you'll genuinely think you're going bald a few months later (you're not, your body doesn't shed hair while pregnant so you lose what seems to be an alarming amount a few months later).

@DaphneFanshaw such a great typo 😂😂

That the hardest thing about a baby is not the sleep deprivation or not knowing what to do. It's the crushing boredom.

That you bleed even after a csection - wasn’t expecting a csection and this surprised me!

That you don't always feel contractions in your bump - I only felt anything in my back the whole labour, the front was basically numb!

That it feels like all your internal organs are going to fall out of your vagina when you walk for a few days afterwards 😬

But also that labour can be both incredibly intense and the pressure completely overwhelming, without actually being painful (it's Mumsnet, I'm well aware I'll be attacked for that, but I was there - and you did ask!)

Jesus! I’m only 9 weeks and have been so, so ill already. I never knew it would be this hard, but I’ve got a long, long way to go and all this other stuff to look forward to! Help!!

After I gave birth and got moved to a ward, the midwife came and asked to see my 'bits' I showed her and she immediately went and got me an ice pack to put down there 😂 to be fair my bits felt like they were no longer part of my body, so so so swollen 🙈

I second that breastfeeding is extremely hard and I didn't know that it took a few days for actual milk to come through. Glad I stuck with it though as I had a terrible sleeper and breastfeeding at night was much easier lol x

Your muscles will hurt after labour from the exertion, I pulled all the muscles in my tummy and it was sore AF.

Your newborn baby's skin might peel off, that's normal.

My boy had what looked like bits of blood in his nappy which was urea crystals apparently.

First wee isn't always bad, I was strung out on painkillers so it was fine.

If you cry you get better painkillers.

It's normal not to feel overwhelming love right away, it does grow. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Especially if you've had a traumatic time and were a bit shell shocked by the time they arrived.

The bleeding lasted for about 6 weeks for me. And the crying... omg the crying!!! I cried for months over nothing... didn't feel depressed just Hyper emotional

This probably sounds really obvious and silly but I was so focused on the pregnancy and birth with my first that I didn't think much about what really came after. I saw the birth as an end point when really it is just a very small part and the very beginning. I had everything I needed practically speaking for a baby but was unprepared mentally and emotionally and was terrified when I arrived home with a baby entirely dependent on me. I think I really struggled due to that. Second time round was very different