Things you wish you'd been told?

[JeniRog]

Just that really...!

I'm 30 weeks (almost 31) pregnant with my first baby, a little boy due on 24th October.

I thought I'd ask the question of "What do you wish you'd been told before having your first baby?"

This can be pregnancy related, childbirth related, after-birth related or newborn related! I'm only asking as I feel I've had to google SO much and find the information myself- e.g. I didn't know until recently that I'm likely to bleed for weeks after birth! People only tell you the lovely things, don't they?!

Please feel free to comment and enlighten me (and each other!) xx

If you get given codeine ask for laxatives.

Completely agree with previous posters about consent. The NHS antenatal classes made a big song and dance about the importance of consent and how all decisions are your own. How nothing will be pushed on you and everything is a choice that you can decline.

However in practice I found that I was on a conveyorbelt of care, where I didn't really feel like I had a say in what happened. It was presented as 'this is what is going to happen next' rather than as a choice. After induction, epidural, forceps I just felt like a piece of meat as I hadn't wanted any of it at all.

So I wasn't expecting that at all, and I'd prep your partner to advocate for you because once labour got going I was not in a position to have any kind of discussions, it just wasn't possible for me to challenge in the way Id have liked. I was mentally prepared to go into labour in control of decisions and all that just seemed out of my hands.

I’d never heard of cluster feeding...

I had been warned about my milk coming in but I hadn't expected it to be an instant change one minute they were OK the next huge and hard. Harvesting collestrum prior to the birth can provide good hand expressing practice that is useful when your milk comes in even if you don't need the collestrum.

Sometimes newborns can be too sleepy our first night we both slept for 4 1/2 h, she then was too sleepy to feed it took a further hour to wake her enough to feed and for the rest of the day she struggled to feed without first making her uncomfortable by striping her down to her nappy to feed. I had an alarm that went off every 3h during the first week to make sure it didn't happen again. S

Your boobs will wait for you to put a clean top on to start leaking

When you pee, lean right forward and put both hands on the floor, stings a lot less post birth that way!!

Get yourself into a routine as soon as you can:

We spent the first two weeks staying up stupidly late waiting for baby to go to sleep before going upstairs to bed and we never got any sleep this way (take turns napping!).

We started bathing baby and putting her down in her cot with the monitor on her so we could sit downstairs and feel normal for an hour or two. It's okay to put baby down for a period of time to rest. If you need more assurance than a monitor, you can get other monitors that measure heart rate/breathing too.

May have been said but the placenta coming out after is equally as painful as birthing baby especially if you’ve had a tear down there

Love this thread

Ladies, this thread is brilliant! 😂 I'm a FTM, 28 weeks now and loving all these tips. Think I'll be revisiting this page quite a lot!

It's impossible to lose weight whilst breastfeeding because you're so damn hungry all the time. And if you do try to eat healthy, your baby's poo turns green, you get mastitis and the Heath Visitor says you need to eat more cake!

I'm a FTM, only 8 weeks, loving this thread!

Those mentioning hemorrhoids, if you already have them: is there anything you should do ready for the birth?

@ittooshallpass

That wearing support pants could have prevented my c-section overhang from forming.

I wish I had been told this. I had an ectopic pregnancy so no bump but still got the overhang

You'll get crumbs on the baby of drop your phone on them... they'll be ok.
Don't cut their nails, peel them. I cut DD1s finger when she was 2 days old, felt like the worst mother ever

Take all the help offered and ask if you need more

That if you keep the news that you've gone into labour to just you and Partner you can spend the first blissful few hours together as your new family unit without interruption from well meaning friends and family. We told people a whole day later. Best thing ever to do.

@TJ17

Get a jug (or spray bottle/Spritz for bitz) And keep next to every toilet in your house. Pour cold water or spray onto bits whilst peeing! It stings like hell otherwise but the cold water is a huge relief

Totally agree and this was going to be my advice. Buy a cheap plastic measuring jug and pack it in your hospital bag. It was the best thing I had! Then keep it my your own loo at home for a week or so

You'll never have better tasting tea and toast than the stuff they give you after you've given birth.

Breastfeeding is worth persevering with.

Savoy cabbage leaves really do work to reduce swelling even though it sounds like hippy shit.

Babies need to learn how to breastfeed as much as we do.

Expressing is no indication of how much milk you have. Babies are much more efficient at getting milk out than pumps are.

Babies should sleep in the same room as you day and night for the first six months. I didn't realise that it meant daytime naps too.

If you are going to read books or blogs don't assume your baby will behave how they say they are 'supposed' to. Once I'd thrown away the book I was a lot more content.

Placenta delivery not painful for everyone, it didn't hurt me.

Horrendous heartburn can be a feature of later pregnancy - stock up on the gaviscon!

And breastfeeding can be really painful for the first few weeks but also really can settle down to be perfectly fine (I had trouble believing this for the first fortnight and thought I had been lied to!)

Also lots of crying to begin with that won't necessarily feel connected to a particular emotion. I joked that it was all the water retention leaving my body.

No one mentions the after pains, by child 4 they were worse than the labour . Never felt pain like it

15 years on:

The post birth constipation and piles from pushing. Drink a lot of water to make sure it doesn't happen ASAP after birth.

That during the birth you kind of get into the zone so actually don't need much hand holding and support.

That when the epidural works it is amazing. No pain. And the painful way is over rated.

That after birth you bleed an unbelievable amount for days. The thickest normal san pro are not going to cut it. Unless you are using a packet at a time.

Boobs just leak and can spray milk. Catch it in the little plastic boob cups and freeze for bottle feeding. There are baggies developped for this.

Post birth euphoria means you don't sleep for 24h.

The baby will use every minute of your day.

Baby baths are pointless and dangerous. Use a rubber mat in the bottom of the real bath and a few cms of water.

Same @ChickensMightFly. Mine basically fell out. I didnt even feel it. I did have that injection to bring it on though. It came so fast the doc got a bit of a shock 😆

Love like no other. Just that.

You can get overwhelmed with feelings from watching the news. I suddenly became acutely aware of the crazy world we live in and now I have a baby to look after in that same crazy world.

That all settles down though.