Things you wish you'd been told?

[JeniRog]

Just that really...!

I'm 30 weeks (almost 31) pregnant with my first baby, a little boy due on 24th October.

I thought I'd ask the question of "What do you wish you'd been told before having your first baby?"

This can be pregnancy related, childbirth related, after-birth related or newborn related! I'm only asking as I feel I've had to google SO much and find the information myself- e.g. I didn't know until recently that I'm likely to bleed for weeks after birth! People only tell you the lovely things, don't they?!

Please feel free to comment and enlighten me (and each other!) xx

Sooo many.....

Breastfeeding is one of the most challenging things I have ever done but completely worth it.

That you and baby can get thrush from breastfeeding and it is awful to get rid of and very painful. Make sure you seek medical help for it and don’t let them fob you off like they did me for a week.

Night sweats

Injuried my coccyx from the birth and will likely take months to heal

Crying for weeks after the birth just looking at my LO feeling so very overwhelmed with love for her.

Everyone wants to cuddle baby but not get up to make a brew!

Read about 4th trimester, look into swaddling, white noise, dim lighting and hot water bottle to warm babies bed before putting them down to sleep at night.

Read about growth spurts/development leaps- this caught us off guard with the first one but more prepared for the next one!

You will soon learn babies cues but it may take a little while, it does not make you a bad parent to not know straight away.

I had serious Mum guilt being away from baby even for an hour to nap while someone else held her, horrible feeling but gets better in time.

Good luck for the arrival of your little one, it’s the most amazing thing your body will ever do.

Another one I've just realised. Make sure you don't miss out on cuddles when baby is happy due to visitors wanting to hold baby. It's been one of the nice things about having limited visitors due to Covid - I've had all the cuddles! Whereas with DS1 everyone wanted a hold but gave him straight back when he cried so I ended up missing out on cuddles when he was content and just getting the upset baby!

@mamamemmmer

Get yourself into a routine as soon as you can:

We spent the first two weeks staying up stupidly late waiting for baby to go to sleep before going upstairs to bed and we never got any sleep this way (take turns napping!).

We started bathing baby and putting her down in her cot with the monitor on her so we could sit downstairs and feel normal for an hour or two. It's okay to put baby down for a period of time to rest. If you need more assurance than a monitor, you can get other monitors that measure heart rate/breathing too.

OP, just so you know, this goes against all of the official advice and guidance.

Check out the lullaby trust for safe sleep advice.

Everybody does something different but I'd personally not leave a newborn to sleep unattended either as PP above says, it goes against the lullaby trust advice.

But we didn't stay up stupidly late waiting for DS to sleep either, we'd go upstairs around 7/8pm if tired and put him down in his next to me crib then watched tv whilst he slept next to us or on us or if we were tired (most of the time in the early days!) we'd sleep too lol

If swap get into a routine for, get into a rhythm. The difference is that baby will change often in the early days, so you'll just feel like you've established a routine then it will all go to pot and you'll feel like something is wrong. But rhythm is a rolling set of needs responding to baby with an aim of a rough time, so sleep, eat, play/activity on repeat but the duration of each stage will vary at baby goes through growth, development, teething etc. Rhythm is less of a cross to nail yourself to.

I'd swap, not if

@Indecision2020 Our HV recommended we did this with our first, so that's a strange one! There is so much conflicting advice!

Definitely not impossible to eat healthily and lose weight while breastfeeding.

I was the slimmest I've ever been while breastfeeding and ate perfectly healthily without it affecting the baby. Good job really as I fed each baby for 3 years. I couldn't have coped with being overweight and tied to a poor diet. I couldn't stop losing weight tbh. Please don't panic.

I think it's important to remember that other people's experiences are their own. There's as many paths to and experiences of parenthood as there are babies. If in doubt, ask. No such thing as a stupid question.