Has anyone had any experience in taking a newborn to a prison visit?

[Hlce24]

I’d like to point out this is NOT a definite decision made. I just want to know a bit more.

I’m 32 weeks pregnant and my baby’s dad is highly likely going to prison in the next couple of weeks. It’s a very shit situation for me but more so my baby boy, he doesn’t deserve this. We don’t know how long he’ll be away for yet if he goes to prison. I’m just wondering, has anyone been through something similar / taken a newborn into prison? I’ve never had anything to do with a prison visit so I’m clueless. I will NOT take him if it isn’t right. No way.

Anyhow, are provisions put in place? separate room away from other prisoners, more frequent visits / letters / phone calls? I suffer with anxiety and being a new mum anyway will not have my baby boy around shitty people or a shitty environment.

Thanks x

Your baby won’t benefit from visiting a prison.
Dump the drunk driver.

Don't.

Get rid of the loser and move on with your life

@MooseBeTimeForSummer Sorry excuse me? Special treatment? Merely asking if prison visits with children can happen in separate rooms. I don’t like the idea of breast feeding my baby in front of other prisoners so if this isn’t an option I will certainly NOT be taking him in. Why do people have to be so nasty? Kindness literally costs nothing.

I wouldn't be taking my baby to a prison, not would I be visiting,

Not all prisons have reopened to visitors yet. Those that have, the 2m rule is in place, no physical touching and masks required at all times.

There’s also no guarantee he’ll be sent to a local prison.

I don’t think prisons are breastfeeding friendly, sorry.

No you don’t get separate rooms for visits etc...
My cousin (who is the most devoted dad ever) missed his sons birth through being in jail and point blank would not allow his partner to bring him to see him. Yes it was tough missing his boy but even now he’s home and ‘reformed’ he stands by this decision as you never know who your ‘cell mate’ is or what they truly are in for

“ Anyhow, are provisions put in place? separate room away from other prisoners, more frequent visits / letters / phone calls?”

What? Just because you had a baby?
No. He’s a criminal. Why the hell would he get extra visits/letters/phone calls because YOU had a baby?!

I guess the question I’d be asking is “how is this going to impact positively on my newborn”? And if it isn’t- then I’d not do it. This question applies to all scenarios- unless it’s a necessity...but I don’t see a prison visit as a necessity. If I’m reading correctly your partner drove drunk- Had he crashed and killed a family or an individual they’d not get to see their baby... or loved one. Maybe that’s the karma of a custodial sentence.

@Anon9990 We haven’t discussed this topic so I’m not sure he’d even want me to bring him in! Thank you for the advice though that’s really helpful

@FelicityPike Merely so I could call to notify him of when I’ve given birth, send photos etc. I don’t see anything wrong with that if I’m not visiting.

I visited a friend in prison and saw people taking newborns in. The visits were all held in the same big hall type place, no separate area for children. The Prison Officers made the mum open up the babies nappy and clothes before they went in, presumably because people smuggle things in them. I would never subject my child to that, they aren't benefiting from it in any way.

I think you would have to wait and see what prison he went to. Not everyone goes to one local to where they are and some have better facilities for families than others. That being said I think family focus is possibly targeted at interactions for certain prisoners with children who are older and can interact rather than a baby. I doubt there is a separate room.

I've never been to a prison as a visitor of a specific inmate but have quite a few years ago done research into visits as part of uni and know many said visiting halls were not the place for children. They may well search your newborn including in the nappy and personally I would find that quite traumatic with no benefit for the newborn themselves. I think you need to do what's right for the baby and yourself rather than what he requests.

The baby won’t really know his dad while he/she is so young so I wouldnt bother.

Send photos.

The baby comes first and his/her health won’t be positively impacted by a prison visit so what’s the point.

He’s there to be punished. The more he misses out on the more his lesson is learned? Thus decreasing future offending? Well that’s how I’d hope it works!

Regardless of what your baby’s father has done you’re about to be a new mum so I totally understand why you are considering taking your baby to visit in prison and of course you will be feeling like you’re being punished too at a vulnerable and die oak time.

You will need to wait and see what prison he gets sent to but once you know you can contact them many have a family centre and staff/volunteers who help to make the process of a child visiting their parent as easy as possible. They are non judgmental and will try and support you.

Once you’ve had your baby you will know whether or not you want to visit but do what you feel is best for you. If you feel you need additional support adjusting to becoming a new mum speak to your midwife/health visitor/GP and see if they have any support they can signpost you to.

@LexiM he hasn’t requested I do anything. Just trying to see if anyone had more knowledge than me as I’m clueless but thanks for your comment xx and thank you @FormerlyFrikadela01 I wouldn’t want To put my baby through this either so if this is the case will not be visiting.

@alphabetti Thank you for your consideration. It is a tricky time. I certainly won’t be just rushing into the prison with my newborn. X

Unfortunately, prisons are used to having child/baby visitors so having a newborn in prison won’t be an unusual occurrence and it is unlikely there will be anything extra in place.
There is actually quite a lot of research to suggest that prisoners who maintain good contact with their children and families are much less likely to reoffend and that. ultimately, benefits the whole of society. However, I don’t know your individual circumstances and you need to work out what benefits there are to you and your child for the dad to see the baby.

There are support groups out there that can help you to navigate the system and the government website can be useful:

www.gov.uk/support-for-families-friends-of-prisoners

Be prepared for prison visits to be rather unpleasant for you. You will be throughly searched, as will your baby. It is also challenging (at best) to arrange visits. Best of luck. It’s an awful situation for you to be in.

I've seen tiny babies be searched and it's not nice for them, and very few prisons have completely separate areas. They may have a family day occasionally though, which may be less intimidating

@helterskelter3 Thank you! I’ll have a look at that link xx

Hi @Hlce24

Sorry you're going through this. I really think you'd be better going to one of the organisations that support the families of prisoners to get answers to these questions. Mumsnet is great for some things but many posters can be quite judgemental of people who break the law, and often of their partners too.

www.prisonersfamilies.org/

@TooFrickinHot I’ll have a look at the link. And as I have found out... Which is a shame as I am aware he’s done wrong, just after a bit of advice as I haven’t been through something like this before!

(Also, with rare exceptions, pps don't actually know what they are talking about, they just reply with the answers they would like to be true..)

www.prisonadvice.org.uk/faqs/support-for-prisoners-families

This organisation does a lot of work to support prisoners families.

Personally I wouldn’t take a baby to visit in prison, but you’ll be able to get advice and support from an independent charity like the one above to inform your decision.

There is a charity called Storybook Dads that run a programme where fathers can record bedtime stories for their children. That might be a nice way for your baby to hear his dad’s voice? Some prisons also run parenting courses for new dads - again, Prison Advice can advise on this.

Best of luck .