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Original poster

Has anyone had any experience in taking a newborn to a prison visit?

168 replies

Hlce24 · 03/08/2020 18:42

I’d like to point out this is NOT a definite decision made. I just want to know a bit more.

I’m 32 weeks pregnant and my baby’s dad is highly likely going to prison in the next couple of weeks. It’s a very shit situation for me but more so my baby boy, he doesn’t deserve this. We don’t know how long he’ll be away for yet if he goes to prison. I’m just wondering, has anyone been through something similar / taken a newborn into prison? I’ve never had anything to do with a prison visit so I’m clueless. I will NOT take him if it isn’t right. No way.

Anyhow, are provisions put in place? separate room away from other prisoners, more frequent visits / letters / phone calls? I suffer with anxiety and being a new mum anyway will not have my baby boy around shitty people or a shitty environment.

Thanks x

OP posts:
Original poster
Hlce24 · 03/08/2020 19:31

@RandallLOVESBeth Thank you so much!

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 03/08/2020 19:33

No a criminal should not get extra visits/calls just because he has a baby. And no I wouldn't think it's be a good idea to bring a newborn into thag environment, there is no benefit to the baby can would likly be a bad experience.

Sunrise234 · 03/08/2020 19:36

No you don’t get separate rooms. I have visited prisons and seen children visiting their dads there. A big issue I would have is getting through security with a baby, you will need to put the baby down so you can take your shoes off and get searched and then so will the baby which sounds just too difficult. A visit with just you would be a lot easier.

sukiginger · 03/08/2020 19:38

I don't think a baby will benefit from being taken to a prison. It won't be for the benefit of the baby, so I wouldn't take them.

I also think a baby is better off without a drunk driver criminal dad, so I wouldn't be proactively facilitating a relationship between them.

Once he's out I'd want active proof of him sorting his life out before I'd allow him to see the baby.

GreytExpectations · 03/08/2020 19:40

*I also think a baby is better off without a drunk driver criminal dad, so I wouldn't be proactively facilitating a relationship between them.

Once he's out I'd want active proof of him sorting his life out before I'd allow him to see the baby.*

This. I know you didn't ask but it may be worth taking some time to seriously consider your relationship. You don't have to be with a toxic man just because he is the father of your baby. You and your baby deserve better.

DoIneed1 · 03/08/2020 19:41

Op I think that you have to consider for whose benefit you will be taking your baby to a prison for. It sounds like it would be an awful experience for your child.

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 03/08/2020 19:42

Standing by and visiting a prison would not be a decision I would ever make.
You would be wise to concentrate your efforts on raising your dc alone.

Jacky209990 · 03/08/2020 19:44

Babies are searched. I really wouldn't want to take a newborn, especially before they have had their jabs into a waiting area/visiting area with a large group of strangers possible from all over the country.

GameSetMatch · 03/08/2020 19:44

I don’t know if this will be available to you but I saw on the news recently about a prison scheme where Dads record themselves reading a bed time story each night for their children to watch. Maybe that might bring you some comfort? It would be nice for the baby to hear his Dads voice.

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 03/08/2020 19:45

How long do you anticipate he may be in prison for? If it's less than a few months I wouldn't as just don't think it's a great environment for a baby especially at the moment with Covid

LockdownLoser · 03/08/2020 19:46

The baby won't know where he is or what the visit is for, therefore there is absolutely no benefit for the baby.

I wouldn't do it. If the child was older and capable of missing Dad then I would consider it but a baby who doesn't even know it's born, no way.

The baby is searched, even down to inside the nappy, I see no reason to go through that.

dancingqueen345 · 03/08/2020 19:47

My experience is only of Strangeways in Manchester, but if you want your partner to meet your little one then do it. It's not a traumatic experience for them in any way, they have no idea what's going on, but I don't think you're allowed to breastfeed in the visitors hall and there aren't facilities to have a private visit. If by any chance it's strangeways that he's heading to then google a company called POPS Manchester, they have dedicated people who can guide you through it all.

Bemorechicken · 03/08/2020 19:47

@tigger001

I wouldn't be taking my baby to a prison, not would I be visiting,
Exactly. What Tigger said. Clovid being a real risk, as it exposing them and the baby to known criminals and convicts.

Photos / support but he needs to get wise.

Just no. Don't do it. It won't help the baby -if someone goes to prison it is for a reason, you are an adult and can make your own decisions.
If you are the same poster as posted about your DH going to prison for a second conviction for drunk driving -if he is going to prison -this is serious and you should leave and protect yourself and your baby. He didn't learn the first time -did he? He doesn't deserve this -to go a visit a father in prison or have a Dad around who doesn't give a shit about drive drinking - or killing someone, as he has done in more than once. Next time it could be your baby boy in the back of the car............. www.drinkdriving.org/drink_driving_sentencing_guidelines.php

Coldspringharbour · 03/08/2020 19:51

You say you don’t want your baby around shitty people but you’re planning on taking your baby to see your drink driving, criminal boyfriend. Such a contradiction. You’ve clearly ignored all the good advice you were given the other day.

VictoriaBun · 03/08/2020 19:52

I've worked in a prison for a good few years . You will not have any special treatment because you have a small baby.
I do not work in the visits section, and don't know if it has changed but at the moment there are no visits allowed at my prison ( B category )from
The last time I had knowledge of prison visits, the person in charge of the baby had to change its nappy in front of a member of staff to prove that the nappy did not hold drugs ( it's a potential way to pass ) you may also find that clothes will be looked at also .

Original poster
Hlce24 · 03/08/2020 19:54

@Coldspringharbour My son is going to know his dad. End of. Thank you.

OP posts:
Dyrne · 03/08/2020 19:55

OP didn’t you post the other day? And then you got so upset that you asked for the thread to be deleted?

The thread was quite long, and people posted links to the exact same charities and support that people are posting now.

Why have you come back here to start another thread for a question that you should be asking the support groups linked to you, especially as they will be able to give advice specific to the prison and your actual situation. Why come back here and risk more upset?

GreytExpectations · 03/08/2020 19:55

You’ve clearly ignored all the good advice you were given the other day.

Yup, apparently anyone who gave opinions or advice the OP didn't like got ignored. Then other posters claimed we were all "bitches" and the thread has since been deleted Hmm I'm sure this one will go the same way

Original poster
Hlce24 · 03/08/2020 19:56

@VictoriaBun It’s good to get advice off someone that works in a prison, that’s really helpful. As I said in my post I didn’t know how it worked and am pretty clueless. Now I know the deal and what is likely to happen I won’t be taking him. X

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 03/08/2020 19:58

[quote Hlce24]@Coldspringharbour My son is going to know his dad. End of. Thank you.[/quote]
Except the newborn baby won't even be aware of what is happening so its pointless to take him to visit the prison. If you are so insistant in staying with this man then wait until he gets out of prison and cleans his act up to then have you son get to know him.

Original poster
Hlce24 · 03/08/2020 19:58

@Dyrne Loads of people suggested I delete my post and reported it themselves also.. Just come on here for a bit of advice and am only paying attention to the kind comments! @GreytExpectations You are also the person who got reported several times on another post for being nasty and abusive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hlce24 · 03/08/2020 20:00

@GreytExpectations if you had read my comments previously you would read that I have made up my mind not to take him now that I know how it works. Thanks!

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 03/08/2020 20:00

[quote Hlce24]**@Dyrne* Loads of people suggested I delete my post and reported it themselves also.. Just come on here for a bit of advice and am only paying attention to the kind comments! @GreytExpectations* You are also the person who got reported several times on another post for being nasty and abusive.[/quote]
Nope, was never nasty nor abusive. I gave you an opinion and advice and you just didn't want to hear it. There is a difference. Don't post asking for advice on the Internet if you can't handle a variety of responses.

GreytExpectations · 03/08/2020 20:01

[quote Hlce24]@GreytExpectations if you had read my comments previously you would read that I have made up my mind not to take him now that I know how it works. Thanks![/quote]
Good, glad to see you are finally listening!

Hubstar · 03/08/2020 20:02

Sheesh.

I wouldn’t be taking a baby in. Especially not in these times. They’d need to be searched

I would assume right now you couldn’t even visited then if you wanted too

Also might be sent to a prison some 5-6 hrs away. I wouldn’t take a child to that either

I’d really reflect on your life right now. You’ve got so many chances To change the trajectory of your life.

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