Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

[Avocuddles]

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@Rachael321 of wow Henry is terribly handsome isn't he. What a poppet!

@Rachael321 He's gorgeous!!! Love the name Henry too. Hope things start to improve quickly with your gallstones and the suture. I bought something yesterday called Spritz your Bitz and some of the reviews recommended it to help discomfort and healing with c section scars. Not sure if it would be of any use to you at the moment but worth mentioning in case. Xx

Oh my word @Rachael321 Henry is gorgeous! Sorry to hear your having some difficulty with your c section wound and your gall bladder still, that can't be an easy combination with a tiny baby! Hope that you feel better soon x

Oh @Rachael321 he is so gorgeous!! He's making me broody even though I'm pregnant!! Sorry you are having a rough time, hope things start to settle a bit more for you - gallstomes are awful.

@Avocuddles so sorry you have them too, i had my gallbladder out 10 years or so ago so im happy to answer any questions you may have

So lovely to see Henry! Sorry you're not well @Rachael321. I hope they can sort you out soon.

@Avocuddles sorry you've got gallstones too. They're awful. I had mine out a few years ago and it's such a relief.

Oh @Rachael321 I'm so sorry you're suffering too! What treatment have they given you / suggested so far for the gallstones?

Henry is so gorgeous, hope they can get you well so you can make the most of your time with him.....

@Treaclepie19 @Whiffle77 interesting to knew that so many of us have suffered, the pain I've been experiencing during the attacks has been beyond description so if it continues post birth I will definitely be pushing for surgery.

Thanks everyone 🥰

@Avocuddles I've been taken by ambulance and given morphine twice for the pain since he was born, its excruciating. Im on waiting list for surgery to remove gallbladder. A&e doc told me to get on to go for them to write to surgeons and try push me up the list as it having an impact on daily life now and I'm still young (25). OH Back at work and nature of his job can involve nights away, I got a 3 week old baby and when it flares up I can't do anything for myself never mind him!! Starting to really get me down.
Hope you don't suffer too much, there is a chance once baby is born it eases but its a case of wait and see!

@Rachael321 awww what a cutie, he is just gorgeous. Sorry you are having issues with your wound though, hope it clears up soon

@Avocuddles so sorry to hear you are suffering with gallstones, but glad you finally got taken seriously and have a diagnosis. I did think you were having a few too many very painful episodes for it to be heartburn. I hope you can get it sorted soon after birth and it doesn't drag on too long.

Our trust have announced that as of Monday you can have a birthing partner for the whole of labour, and they can attend all appointments, which is fantastic news for us and people approaching scans etc. I have been thinking a lot about those who must have had bad news as we did at a scan and having to receive it alone and it just breaks my heart. Hopefully all trusts will start to change their regulations soon.

I also thought it was still a rule of 6 for any gatherings and have been getting angry seeing larger groups out and about thinking they are flouting the rules 😂

I have been getting period type cramps, a lot of pressure and lower back ache but not an exciting amount. Getting v bored of being pregnant now but the end is in sight, even if we don't know exactly when that will be!

Updating ahead of tomorrow

@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 35wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 38wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 37wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 38 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 37wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 32wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 36wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 36 weeks (csection booked 09/09/20) BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 35wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 35wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 33wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 30wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 31wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 28wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 27wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 21 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 19 weeks (due 24/01/21)BOY

Hello Everyone,

Sorry I’ve not been on here for weeks, things were very busy getting finished with work.

Delighted to be able to add another safe arrival post! After three miscarriages, our rainbow girl arrived safely this week. In love doesn’t even begin to cover it!

You are all amazing. Please keep battling those anxieties. I promise that every double-guess, ‘what if’ conversation and every single tear you cry during your pregnancy is worth it.

Nothing will ever take away the pain from our losses but my heart is full just now in a way I could never have imagined and, at one stage, never thought would happen for us ❤️

Wishing you all the absolute best with your bumps and future babies.

Happy to answer any questions anyone has. She arrived via planned c-section due to low-lying placenta.

Lots of love to you all x

Congratulations @Hoping2020!! Gorgeous. So pleased for you, and what a lovely message. Enjoy every moment!

Oh @Rachael321 that is rubbish, your experiences sound very similar to what I've been going through, first time I was taken in by ambulance was a few months ago and we've been back to hospital 4 times since then leading up to the eventual overnight admission and diagnosis. I'm fortunate to have private healthcare through work so although my treatment to date has all been on the NHS, if things continue / get worse after baby arrives then I should be able to get the op quite quickly. Touch wood I've been ok the past few days but am living in constant fear of another attack. All I can do for now is wait and see and try to stay positive.....

@TunnocksTCake that's great news re your trust allowing partners for the whole of labour, I wish everywhere would take that approach! I found it daft the other day that my DH wasn't allowed to visit me on the ward, but I was allowed to go meet him at the costa coffee shop in hospital reception! There were plenty of women having inductions started and then doing the exact same thing which feels like it somewhat defeats the object?

@Hoping2020 congratulations to you on the birth of your beautiful daughter, and many thanks for sharing such a lovely and uplifting post. How is your recovery going post c section?

I'd my 32 week appointment with MW today and it looks like at my hospital birth partners are allowed for inductions and full labour, and to theatre for caesareans. And for hours after the birth. They can visit from 10 to 6 to the maternity ward. She said they are relatively "back to normal" there and that by time I give birth the only difference I should note is that they have masks and PPE on. So that's reassuring. Obviously that could change if there's another spike but seemingly it's been that way for a few weeks now at my hospital. I'm in SW London btw.

@Hoping2020 she looks like a perfect little doll!!!

Great news that the trusts are letting partners in. I don't know if I'm hoping for too much but I really want two birth partners! My husband and grown up daughter. She was incredible last time and if I'm honest is my first choice but obviously I can't say that to my husband!

Congrats @Hoping2020 she's beautiful. I just had my 32 week scan to see if my placenta had moved out of the way and it hasn't. It's now a major placenta praieva 😞 so I won't be allowed my natural labour that I wanted. After three previous miscarriages I'm very aware I'm lucky still but it's just upset me a little as I had never thought of a section. I always skipped those bits in the books because I was told 9 times out of 10 they move out of the way.

Things that are so important to be are delayed clamping and skin to skin ASAP. Were you able to do these? I really want dimmed lights too but I haven't a clue now.

Xx

@Hoping2020 oh my goodness she is stunning! Congratulations, you must be over the moon!

@Avocuddles I'm glad you have a diagnosis - your heartburn did seem extreme! I really hope things stay quiet for you the rest of your pregnancy, but it must be so scary waiting and wondering if another attack is coming!

@Rachael321 oh my goodness that sounds awful being put on a waiting list!!! The NHS must really be in a bit of disarray at the moment what with everything going on, I'm really sorry you're being affected and waiting around in limbo to have your operation :( take it easy on yourself, it must be so hard to be so physically unwell whilst trying to take care of a tiny baby, and with husband back at work too!!! Is there anyone else around who could help out? I know we don't have anyone so you might not either, but if there is a family member of anyone don't feel guilty to ask for help, this is one situation where you totally do need help! xxx

I was in to the midwife yesterday at 27+6 for reduced movement. The hospital refused to have me in until I'm 28 weeks so they really are doing it by the book! Anyway midwife felt my belly and Errol has gone head down, which definitely explains the muffled and reduced movement I am feeling. I think previously he was mainly feet down and hence I felt the constant hammering on my cervix and bladder! I can't feel anything anywhere else because of my placenta so it really is stressful, but midwife was absolutely wonderful and told me I did the right thing coming in, and that unfortunately ladies with anterior placentas usually do end up coming in more frequently for reduced movement. Anyway his heartbeat was super healthy as usual, and my funds measuring perfectly so I feel reassured that I understand the reduced movement now.

Meanwhile him going head down also seems to be putting pressure on my spine and I had a minor back spasm on Thursday, meaning I have been seriously incapacitated at work. Yesterday I basically spent all day raking up some leaves and cutting a bush at waist height with my secateurs... I'm hoping this particular spams will ease off with some yoga stretches and possibly a massage, but feeling anxious about the likely prospect of more back pain as he gets bigger and how I'm going to cope at work! My boss yesterday told me to work through the pain i.e. do things that are painful to me like bending over etc. I told him I am absolutely not going to do that as there are other tasks like raking that I can still do and I'm not going to risk being completely incapacitated by doing lifting or bending over... to which he replied that I should be careful as I will not get sick pay if I go off sick. I'm now really anxious that the school might put me off on statutory sick pay if my back doesn't heal up - I wondered what others experience is with pregnancy symptoms which affect their work? Can they put me off sick if it's a pregnancy symptom? I hope not. I used my 2 weeks contractual paid sick days during my miscarriage last year, but the anniversary for that is only 2 weeks away so my allowance should re-set at that time... we are already going to be so screwed financially and the idea of statutory sick pay is stressing me out!

Updating weeks. Despite money worries myself and partner are going to spend the night in a hotel tonight. We were supposed to have a holiday in March and it was our first in 2 years, but it got cancelled. Now his grandfather has died and I just thought it would be a good idea for us to both get away, even if it is for one night by the seaside! I've been up since 5 as I've been worrying about work so I hope I manage to stay awake and enjoy a meal out etc later!

@futuredreams I'm so sorry about your placenta, that is not the news you hoped for... I know how awful it is to contemplate a c-section when you really wanted a natural birth as I still have one hanging over my head too! However the placenta previa is an extra worry - does this mean you have to be on total bed rest?? On the plus side it's great that they are aware of it and it will be a planned section (as opposed to unplanned). Hopefully there are people on here who can give you positive stories of c-sections. I'm sort of half trying to get my head around them because I know its a possibility for me, but also like you kind of hoping and praying that my next scan rules it out. I do feel for you, it must be hard to give up on the idea of a natural birth, but I also feel like you got this 100% xxx

@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 35wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 38wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 37wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 38 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 37wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 32wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 36wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 36 weeks (csection booked 09/09/20) BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 35wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 35wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 33wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 30wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 31wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 28wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 28wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 21 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 19 weeks (due 24/01/21)BOY

@futuredreams forgot to say - others will know better as I am only going on what I've heard, but I'm pretty sure skin to skin is definitely a thing after a section! You can definitely request that. As for delayed clamping, I'm not sure but def worth finding out about. We just did our umbilical cord session in my antenatal class and I was upset because I also can't have delayed clamping. Although I spoke to the midwife last night and I think perhaps I could delay it by a couple of minutes - perhaps with your section there would be a compromise too? I'd say dimmed lights is unlikely because they need the bright lights for the surgery, but perhaps there is something you and your partner could come up with up the top end - something to shield you from the lights a bit and make it feel a bit nicer? I have no idea I'm just brainstorming, hopefully others with more experience can give some tips! xxx

Gorgeous babies ladies! Living these photos ❤️

@Avocuddles you poor thing. Sounds so awful. I have plain old average heartburn a lot and it’s awful enough frankly.

@futuredreams I haven’t had a section but I was threatened with a low placenta and my Dr reassured me that I could have skin to skin and delayed clamping. With a major previa you might not be able to have the delayed clamping I don’t think, my understanding was it depends what happens on the day but they can try. What I will say is, I had a vaginal delivery with my son, but a third degree tear meant no skin to skin (myDH got that), no delayed clamping, bright lights for the actual birth as Dr needed to see what she was doing, taken straight to surgery for 3 hours. It’s the bit I’m saddest about when I think of his birth. I think a section can actually guarantee these things more as it’s more predictable. I totally get it’s not what you want though xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 your boss! Jeez. If there is anywhere you can get free legal advice I really would... he’s just not learned his lesson has he?! Enjo your night away, a day by the sea sounds lovely.

*loving not living 🤦🏻‍♀️

@futuredreams I don't have experience with C section but after completing my Hypnobirthing course online I've included my birth preferences should there be a section. Depending on your situation I think you can ask for lights to be dimmed directly above baby so they are not immediately blinded by that light, for your music to still be played, for skin to skin etc. You can request for screen to be up or down (depending if you want to see), and can ask for certain monitoring wires to be attached to your back so they don't interfere with that initial skin to skin. Unsure on the delayed cord clamping but I gather 3 mins can be long enough so request that if allowed. Also, I bought some essential oils I can rub directly on to my skin to add a little calming effect in event of a caesarean or situation where I'm not allowed to use a room spray.

@tmc14 & @MOGMOGMOG85 thanks for your replies it means a lot.

It's good to know some things I can be hopeful for. The skin to skin is my most important one. I don't know why. I just after three years of waiting for this always imagined this and felt it was so important that after carrying her she felt me first and had that connection as I would very much like to breast feed too.

I'm really unsure if I'm supposed to calm down any with having the major placenta praeiva as the consultant I saw took a call half way through my appointment as he was on call for the labour ward. I felt like I didn't have time to ask that bomb. I'm slowing down a lot these days due to how rough I've had things with sciatica, carpel tunnel and major acid reflux. I feel my body is def not mine at the moment. I am still traveling to work though and this is a killer for my swollen feet and back. If any one knows if I'm supposed to be taking it easy or not doing anything in particular it might help. I think I'll call the midwife today anyway to see. Xx

Can you really request screen down @AnxiousLady1? I'm another one potentially looking at a planned section, and I would love to be able to see it all!
Part of me feels disappointed about potentially having one, but the planner in me likes it - I know where and when and how it will all happen!
Have a lovely night away @MOGMOGMOG85

@Whiffle77 I'm sure circumstances might vary and it's possible different hospitals will form their own policies on this. But according to the Positive Birth Company this is something that can be requested in planned sections. Maybe where risk is a little lower I can't recall for sure. You can also ask for something called a "gentle caesarean", which I think allows baby a few moments to essentially emerge out themselves, under the dimmed lighting. I read a story on their site this week from someone who had a planned section due to breach baby (convinced this will be me), and she still described it as being totally calm, magical, exciting etc and getting all she wanted from it. Despite having initially planned for natural birth. The skin to skin is my biggest concern also, but I think this is maybe only an issue should you need an emergency section and a general anaesthetic. In this case I've specified baby has to be handed immediately to DH.

Thank you, thats all really helpful!

Afternoon all, @Hoping2020 congratulations on your beautiful girl, so glad to see another happy outcome.

For those talking about c sections, I haven't had one but am booked in for one with this baby because of my anxiety about labour, given we lost DD during labour. I've spoken to my birth options clinic who are lovely and have said they want to do all they can to make this the birth experience I want. That includes playing any music I want, explaining everything as we go along, and things like delayed cord clamping and skin to skin. If I feel OK I absolutely want to do skin to skin and they said that can definitely be done. If I feel a bit too emotional or wobbly then DH will do it. He can also apparently cut the cord and there can be some measure of delayed clamping.

I saw also that last week, the DoH England have released a framework for Trusts to reintroduce birth partners into appointments and births. However it is still down to the individual trusts to decide to implement this I think. Our trust has sadly not said anything so far.

I wanted to ask a question about whether anyone is thinking of getting or has the owlet sock or similar for their babies. I follow a couple of families on YouTube who had stillbirths and gone on to have a healthy baby and one was talking about this sock which the baby wears when sleeping and it measures oxygen levels and heart rates. It sounds an alarm if the levels get too high or low. They are expensive but i am thinking about getting one or similar to help with anxiety at night. DH thinks they might go off for no reason and scare us too much and we should just follow sleep guidance but I do wonder if having something like this is helpful or not. Anyone else?