I'm 33+5 and broke my ankle nearly 3 weeks ago. I'm in a wheelchair and am utterly miserable, exhausted and crying every day. Baby has been presenting as breech, meaning I've had a head stuck in my ribs most of this week, making the wheelchair even more uncomfortable, and I'm having to face up to the thought of my second ELCS just weeks after having emergency surgery on my foot.
We were struggling to cope at home, as I can't get up/downstairs or out of the house without help. We already have an active 3 year old, a new bathroom is being put in before the baby arrives (I slipped on the dust) and poor DH was having to do everything - taking care of DS, me, the building work, helping me up and downstairs, emptying my commode, as well as cooking, cleaning after the builders every day AND trying to hold down a full time job. The guy has been a hero but he's exhausted.
So I've come to stay with the PILs. We were due to visit for 2 weeks this weekend anyway (I was already hesitant about travelling so late in pregnancy) but given the situation, I came a week early by train with DS to give DH a rest. The PILs have got a downstairs bedroom with ensuite, so I'm much more independent here and in theory it's a great idea. I get help looking after DS, DH gets a break and I get to write my dissertation that was due in this morning.
However. It's been 4 days and I'm not sure I can take another 3 weeks of it. I have a love/hate relationship with MIL anyway, which MN has helped me with in the past, but I can't help but feel like she's not thrilled to have me here. When they stayed with us last month it was fine, but it feels strained now. She does have a lot on her plate as there is a lot of sickness in the family at the moment - her brother has leukaemia, for one - so I'm really trying to make everyone's life easier by "working" in my room and staying out of the way as much as possible, biting my tongue or just doing grey rock when we can't avoid being together. It's hard going.
She loves having DS to herself, so I'm letting her get on with it and not saying anything even when I think she's put too many layers on him in the heat, or buying the wrong size sandals, etc. It really goes against the grain, he's my son, but I can't face the arguments that will inevitably happen if I speak up.
Yesterday, just to make conversation, I said that I'd read online that chiropractors have a technique that might help turn breech babies, and did she know one locally? She jumped down my throat to say that they're all crooks, I must be insane, and that I risk getting the cord wrapped around baby's neck if I try to turn her just to avoid an ELCS. I did remind her that baby is SUPPOSED to turn at this point, and that 3 different midwives have said a VBAC is the better option for me given my already limited mobility...
At breakfast this morning I tried to instigate a conversation with my DS, who has had a little speech delay but is now catching up fast. She jumped in to answer for him in such a way that made me and my question sound ridiculous. I was only trying to get him to speak, FFS.
It's FIL's birthday this week (he's lovely) and I made a comment earlier that in normal times, DS and I would have made him a birthday cake as we did a lot of baking during lockdown, DS really enjoys it and it's a shame that I'm just not mobile enough to get around the kitchen. I got shot down immediately, being told that she doesn't have time to make a cake on top of all the cooking, cleaning, ironing and looking after my DS. As though I'd asked HER to make a cake.
I'm in no position to complain I know, they're very good having me here (although I'm sure it's just as much to help out DH, the only child that I STOLE from her) but the constant remarks and putdowns are getting to me so much more than usual. Possibly because I'm hormonal, tired and in pain with my foot. She's often like this, not quite this bad though, and I'll usually fight back, but I'm not in a position to speak my mind while they've been so kind taking me in.
I'm due to go home at 36+4 to get my plaster taken off, but I called the local maternity ward here just to make contact in case things start early. All good. MIL ordered me to ring another hospital, "which is far better" (not true, it's just nearer) and that place wants to see me while I'm here, which is fine, but I can't get an appointment until a couple of days before I'm due to go home. So there's not much point. I just want to cry.
DH is arriving here in a week, so I'm counting on you lovely lot to get me through the next 7 days with my sanity intact. End of rant!