Thread 2 for us classed as more mature pregnant ladies

[AliasGrape]

Hi everyone.
I noticed our thread was about to fill up, so thought I’d start a new one quick. Hope that’s not too presumptuous of me and have to say thank you to @Sheera1 for starting the thread.

As the title says it’s a discussion thread for any pregnant women who are classed as that bit older for a mum to be.

Copying our list over so we can keep up. If you would like to join please copy and paste the list, adding your own details in date order.

Really hope I’m doing this right! 🙈

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. Due July DC5
@fool11 45, due July, DC2
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 Due 5/08/20 DC12
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 19/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Shroppy 38 Due 31/12/20 DC1
@Kiffers 42, due 01.01.21 - first child
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Dia1212 40. Due 21/01/21 DC1
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38. Due 26/01/21
@Louscarlet 39 due 30/01/21 DC1
@Celibacydidntwork 46 Due 31/1/21 DC3

@AliasGrape that sounds so tough. You are doing a fab job. I remember hand expressing and getting like a dribble a d it was soul destroying. I think it initially is so high in calories or something that they only need a teeny bit.

I agree that I found the midwives on the ward not massively helpful or available to help with breastfeeding. I think you need to get home as soon as you can. Don't stop trying but if formula is needed you have given it a really good go. Maybe if you are at home you will have more help and be more relaxed. Am I right in saying that her sucking can stimulate too even if not getting anything out? Could you formula and have her sucking after to stimulate for you and maybe she won't be so frustrated as will have fed? Hoenstly I could be talking out my arse though. You need to get some sleep. Can they take her for a wee while and let you sleep? Xxxx

Just read your 2nd post. It is totally fine to post on here. We can help as much as we are able. If you want me to delete my reply let me know. Xx

Finally finished the dotty blanket!

Should keep baby cosy in the pram on cold winter days!

That sounds just like something I'd do (and have done!) @AliasGrape
I'll never forget the time I posted on a private group on FB (or so I thought) asking for advice on something very personal. Only, it didn't post in the group, it posted on my bloody FB for all to see! I didn't even realise until a friend PM'd me and said "er... Frazz... did you mean to post that on FB?"
I immediately deleted it and still have no idea who saw it. No one else mentioned it though!

Thanks @Sheera1

Your post is totally fine - I’m happy to post about the fact I’m struggling with the breastfeeding and not getting anywhere, and not getting loads of help (not midwives fault they’re geeat just so so busy). They’ve got me in a routine of trying to feed, then when that inevitably doesn’t work trying to hand express, then when that also doesn’t work then cup feeding her formula and then pumping for me - again the pumping isn’t producing anything but apparently regular pumping will help stimulate things. I’m
Supposed to do this every 3 hours but it’s hard because it all takes so long and is interrupted by needing a change or one of us needing av antibiotics or whatever, so generally by the time I’ve finished one round I’m starting the next and through the night when I’m in my own I don’t really get to sleep at all.

The part of my post I didn’t mean to post was husbands name and not sure if there were other identifying bits! That was meant for my sister for me to be all woe is me!

Thank you for your support. I’m getting very down, everyone else on ward is breastfeeding away. One woman arrived today, called midwife and said ‘she’s not feeding’, bit of manhandling by midwife and it was ‘there you go look it’s working’. 5 mins ‘struggle’ tops. I had to close my curtain and have a sob.

I think we’re going to aim to get home and get a lactation consultant ASAP. Unfortunately I’ve just been told my infection markers are up again so I don’t think I’ll be allowed home today at least.

Congratulations @AliasGrape and @Mysa74, beautiful names. Hope you are both well.

How are you doing @PregnantPorcupine? Baby is obviously feeling nice and cozy inside 😊..must be uncomfortable for you..I could barely move at 38w..

I went to see midwifes today. Was kind of happy how things are going, little one eating etc and was told they he is still underweight, 13d today and still haven’t reached his birth weight, which was really upsetting..put questions on my BF etc, so feel a bit crap..he still has jaundice and keeps falling asleep when I feed him but honestly though we were doing well.

BFing is so hard @AliasGrape and you've already been through such a lot. I definitely recommend speaking to a lactation consultant. La Leche league are brilliant (and free). I already have a lady helping me as I have hypoplasia (insufficient glandular tissue - bastard PCOS symptom). She's already put plans in place for before and after the baby is here.
I can recommend a book called Making More Milk. It's full of info and help. There's a lovely quote in there which is a bit hippy but I love it ""Many kinds of milk can nurture the body, but only love can nurture his soul”

I really hope things settle really soon xx

In other news, I've just ordered the pram, car seat and isofix 😬 😱😱
DP found a fab website with a shockingly twee name that nearly put me off. But I checked reviews and spoke to them via email and they have been brilliant. Saved me money buying unnecessary things and gave me 10% off (new customer). 10% is quite a lot when you're spending loads on a pram so it's well worth a look. They are (don't laugh at the name it's hideous) Oh and they’re big on sustainability which gets top marks from me
[[https://www.naturalbabyshower.co.uk
]]

Don't know why the link didn't display properly,

www.naturalbabyshower.co.uk

Saved me money NOT buying unnecessary things. Hopefully that made sense though!

@AliasGrape breastfeeding my first after my emcs was a nightmare. She was initially bottle fed then when my milk finally came in (I did pump regularly but not every 3 Hours) on day 5 I was lucky to produce enough for her to be swapped to breast & formula milk from a bottle and then just to expressed breast milk. Then I decided (as I was producing enough milk) to keep putting her to the breast in between feeds at week 3 she seemed to actually be awake enough (she was very tiny went down to 5lb 2oz in hospital and basically slept) & was gaining weight really well and I swapped her to the breast with the view of seeing what a week did. She still gained weight and I kept going from there. That's just my story and always it's most important that baby gets enough nutrition whether from formula or breast milk. And just personally I think the nipple confusion is a bit of a myth of most babies - I wanted to feed my baby and I could get the hang of the cup!!

@Frazzlerock the blanket is lovely!! What pram did you go for?

@fool11 it sounds like you are doing fab. Are they weighing him on different scales? Just a thought as I found the midwives and HV a nightmare when weighing. Different scales can be a little off. Also check the reading yourself as my HV had a habit of reversing the order of the numbers e.g. 10 ounces instead of 01. I had to keep correcting her. If he is gaining weight that is fabulous. It is so hard not to take it all personally. My mantra this time is do what is needed and don't beat myself up for things outwith my control. If he needs a wee formula top up now and then it is not a failure. I exclusively breastfeed ds for 16 weeks and honestly ground myself into the ground with it. He was a hungry boy and I would be feeding constantly and at times was expressing inbetween as wanted milk to go places I couldn't or didn't want to feed at. He was awake every two hours through the night and at 16 weeks I was a total zombie. I gave him a bottle of formula as his feed before bed and he slept 3/4 hours. It was such a relief. I took him into work and he drank through all my expressed milk and I ended up breastfeeding in the office anyway. Was one way to get over feeding in public 😊.

Honestly this time, if bf goes well as it might not, I plan to introduce a bottle early on and have a break once a day and let DP feed him/her. Please remind me of my words when I am losing the plot and beating myself up as I am sure it is inevitable. We are so vulnerable on those early weeks and months. Xx

@fool11 as long as he's not losing weight, that's good isn't it? Even if he's not quite reached his birth weight? I don't remember the guidelines. I can understand feeling a bit disappointed though. What have they advised?

@onlyreadingneverposting8 ordered the Bugaboo Fox2 in grey with 'vapour blue' hood and black frame. Plus the Maxi Cosi Rock.
Something I didn't know was you can get an isofix to fit the next car seat up as well. Lucky the lady from the website told me, else we'd have had to buy another one further down the line if I'd chosen the one I'd originally found. We didn't have isofix when my two were little so it's all new to me!

@fool11 it took a couple of weeks for my daughter to reach her birth weight I was freaking out about it but with hindsight all was well. We plodded on and have just stopped feeding this week at nearly two and half. When I expressed I barely got anything out. Babies are so much more efficient at it.

Kellymom.com is an excellent breastfeeding resource. They have all the answers.

Hi everyone hope your all keeping well, I'm still getting used to the fact we are having a boy, I dont know why I was convinced it was a girl, delighted either way though.
Quick question I have developed like poppy outy veins on my groin sorry TMI then leading into my pubic area which is very very swollen , I also have like pain there on the side they are on like a twisting almost under the skin and it's tender to touch. Anyone experienced this? I went to my trusty pal google and it says can be vulvar varicosis I've never even heard of this 😩

Hi @Clarkel1 yes I have vulva varicose veins - they came up in my second pregnancy and I've had them in every pregnancy since they shrink when I'm not pregnant. They ache if I stand for too long. I have awful varicose veins all the way down my left side - my right is completely unaffected! 🤷‍♀️

Hiya everyone, wondered if I could join you? Just had a positive clear blue digital, I’m 41 and this will be Dc number 5- 7 years after my last baby and swearing that he’d be the last! I’ve read this thread from start to finish, It’s nice to know there are so many of us in a similar position. I’m so nervous about telling people as they will be a lot of surprise and I’m not sure there will be a lot of support. My husband was Definitely done but he’s been very calm about the whole thing which has surprised me! Looking forward to getting to know you all xx

Hello, thank you to you all for your kind words. The plan is to top him up after BF, about 20-30ml of breast milk or formula. I’ve tried to express some milk after he finished eating, but only got about 5ml from both breast, which is a bit soul destroying as it’s nothing, so not sure if he ate well or there is just not enough in my breast. I offered him a bottle afterwards, formula and he ate about 20ml..so obviously he was still a bit hungry. Had no breast milk to offer. But I bought online silicone pump, they didn’t exist when I was pregnant with my first and it’s great little thing to collect the let down milk from other boob when they are eating, so it doesn’t go to waste..managed to get between 10-20ml per feed, so going to collect it and then offer..hopefully it will make difference..if anyone interested, here is a link..find it much easier than a proper express machine .. www.amazon.co.uk/NatureBond-Silicone-Breastfeeding-Air-Tight-Hardcover/dp/B01LZ2ZVCY/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&psc=1&keywords=NatureBond&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExNEpLV1hPMDdDQ1hNJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNDczNDgzMlpOOTE3SEtHVjE1UCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDM4NDE1RExZMkxNSDJUUE1GJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1596434477&sr=8-1-spons

I breastfed for 5m with my first and it was a nightmare..ate 18 tines a day, on demand as midwifes kept telling me, was still in newborn clothes at 3m, but she was born small, haven’t slept for nearly 2y as she was up every 30min, I was like a zombie, she also had a reflux , but I do think she was hungry, and wondering whether my milk is not fatty enough for them. Midwife coming to reweight him today so will see if topping up helped a bit..

How are you getting on @AliasGrape? And how are your @PregnantPorcupine?

We still have our buggaboo, after our first, it’s in perfect condition and I love it, so easy to push and comfy for baby..those living in south east , if planning to get prams etc later on, selfridges and also Bentalls in Kingston do usually a 20% off as pre xmas sale in November and it includes prams..that’s when we got ours, it’s quite a big discount as they are quite expensive, I think.

Hope you are all well.

Morning everyone.

Welcome @Bonnie41 and congratulations.

@fool11 gah the breastfeeding thing is so stressful whichever way it works out isn’t it.

Well we got discharged at 11pm last night so we’re home. My milk still hasn’t come in she’s not had so much as a bead of colostrum from my boobs for a day or so now despite me persevering trying to hand express, use the pump 3 hourly etc. They weighed her yesterday morning and she’d lost too much too quickly so we agreed to up the amount of formula and use a bottle (just using those ready made ones for now) - they worked out she needed 60ml 3 hourly. We tried the first one and she absolutely drained the first bottle and wanted more so she must have been starving bless her.

I still tried with the skin to skin, trying to put her on breast, use syringe to express, feed, pump thing all day till we got sent home. Through the night though we literally just fed and winded her and put her back down I needed a break and to be honest I feel like a new person this morning. I’ve not exactly slept any more but just a break from stressing about it. Going to just focus on as much skin to skin as possible today and try and call around for some advice. Prepared to throw money at getting a lactation consultant or something if needs be. I started a thread in parenting panicking about it all and loads of people told me their milk didn’t come in till later so I’ll just try to keep positive that mine will be the same.

Hope you will get your milk soon, bf is so stressful ...but yes takes time to get it and on day 3-4 when not enough colostrum and no milk yet it’s hard..that’s when he lost lots of weight too, I had some colostrum which I harvested around w37, thanks god, otherwise poor thing would not have any food.

@Clarkel1 I know nothing about varicose veins but I heard they can be sore Perhaps there is something to help? Your midwife should know.

@fool11 it really is soul destroying isn't it. But keep at it if you can! IF its all too much then do what you need to do to keep you all sane and happy. I had a look at that silicone pump, is is like the Haakaa pump? I was looking at those and they look almost the same. I have actually ordered a second hand hospital grade Medela electric as I have terrible supply, as I've said before. Desperate for BFing to work this time, but worried that if I don't have the glandular tissue available then I might have to suck it up again I'm not sure how I'll deal with that. My lactation consultant thinks I should get counselling ahead for time and to help with the grieving of not being able to BF previously.
I am determined to try literally anything though!

Good luck today with the midwife. Let us know how it goes.

I wish I'd kept my bugaboos. I had a Frog and a Bee, mind you they were a bit mouldy and couldn't work out how to get it out so we got rid. I bet there is a product out there to sort that, but I was lazy and we were moving so I ditched them in a fit of ruthlessness!
Kingsotn used to be a bit of a stomping ground for me, back in the day I met my ex (DC's dad) in The Works nightclub. Such class...

Hi @Bonnie41 congratulations and wishing you lots of sticky bean luck for this surprise bean! Don't worry about what other people think, your friends will be happy for you and if they're in any way judgemental then they're not worth knowing TBH! 41 is the new 31 anyway I'm 41 and no one had judged us, not that I know of anyway. People have been amazing and so supportive.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I have started practising C2C and last night I couldn't stop! Its soooo easy! I can't wait to get my Bernat yarn so I can make the playmat

@AliasGrape you don't need to throw money at a lactation consultant! Look up your local La Leche League, they're free! As I say, my consultant has been incredible. Maybe google Hypoplasia (what I have). If you think you have it, you can get help. My consutant is going to have Domperidone prescribed. Also see if you can get some galactagogues like Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle.

Yes, they are similar to Haakaa pump. I do have Medela electric too, just going to take out and see if anything comes out. Midwife just left and he gained weight, so topping up did make difference.

Morning all. Welcome @bonnie41 and congratulations. We are a lovely supportive bunch on here. 😁.

@AliasGrape and @fool11 you both sound like you are doing everything you possibly can and well done to you both. It sounds very stressful and exhausting. Alias glad you feel a bit better. Being home helps so much. I was a week in hospital with DS and towards the end of the week my mood just plummeted. Ended up discharging myself. 😱. Honestly it was the best thing I did. I was definitely getting into depression area and there was nothing else they could do for me at the time except just wait to get better and my partner at the time was round the clock care when in hospital I only had intermittent help as they midwives were so busy.

I got a bit down yesterday. My aunt is a weird fish. Always has been and normally I really don't give a crap what she thinks or says as she is always wrong or knee jerk. She has been weird about this pregnancy with my mum (sis in law not blood) and had actually ignored three of my mums texts about my pregnancy and actually did not even mention it when they met up. So they did eventually talk about it and she has worried my mum (who was already worried so now justifying her worry) telling her that she is really worried about me because of my weight and my age. She was a nurse but more specialised in cancer care and not a midwife at all. It got me really down for some reason and worrying about things. What is actually her problem is her daughter has a one yr old and has already said she is having no more kids and in some way there is jealousy there as she thought my mum was finished being a new gran and she would like more grandchildren. She is a very strange and very messed up selfish person. But it still bothered me. I guess mayne a hormonal day ytday. She basically thinks I am going to die! 😡

Had my 36wk growth scan this morning and all is well. Baby estimated to be 5 lb 13oz and is head down. Bad news (from my perspective) is that they won't induce until due date so I have potentially another 4 weeks to go feeling miserable and fed up! Said I can have a sweep at 38 weeks so hopefully that might kick start something.