Thread 2 for us classed as more mature pregnant ladies

[AliasGrape]

Hi everyone.
I noticed our thread was about to fill up, so thought I’d start a new one quick. Hope that’s not too presumptuous of me and have to say thank you to @Sheera1 for starting the thread.

As the title says it’s a discussion thread for any pregnant women who are classed as that bit older for a mum to be.

Copying our list over so we can keep up. If you would like to join please copy and paste the list, adding your own details in date order.

Really hope I’m doing this right! 🙈

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. Due July DC5
@fool11 45, due July, DC2
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 Due 5/08/20 DC12
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 19/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Shroppy 38 Due 31/12/20 DC1
@Kiffers 42, due 01.01.21 - first child
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Dia1212 40. Due 21/01/21 DC1
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38. Due 26/01/21
@Louscarlet 39 due 30/01/21 DC1
@Celibacydidntwork 46 Due 31/1/21 DC3

Hi everyone !

dufferedup hello due date twin ! I also had my 36 week scan yesterday. Baby on 65th centile so a good size. I too am getting induced on my due date but hoping with this being my 3rd that the sweep the week before will do the job. I feeling huge uncomfortable and constipated with where he is sitting..I am so tired of this but need my partner back home (hopefully Saturday) before I start on operation get baby out! Getting a pooh out would be a nice first step though so hoping the lactulose I'm given works.

sheera what a bizarre and judgy attitude your aunt has ! I have just decided to disregard those attitudes. My own aunt ..actually even my dad has been bit tight lipped about it but at my age I don't need anyone approval. I appreciate that my life is not conventional and people have their opinions but where they are unhelpful they are simply not welcome! My76 year old mum is amazing and so happy for us. Anyway, you don't need me to tell you to ignore the madness..

Like the new poster I declared myself 'done' at 33 , and again at 36 but here I am now !

Alias and fool sending lots of good lactation vibes. I remember stepping in the shower on day 3 and milk just gushing out as a let down reflex.

I'm finally getting the hosp bag in order. Spent a fortune online last night on bits.. Have also prepared for different eventualities with regard to feeding. So I have a newborn bottle kit but also lanolin and nipple Shields . Hoping to try and breast feed for the first couple of weeks, beyond that he will be on SMA which I am quite happy with.

frazzle loving the blanket !

Hope the sweep works for you @DufferedUp @Realladymarmalade..I had one at 38w...was so glad I was down as high risk and they wouldn’t let me go to 40w..I’ve asked to have a sweep at 38 and consultant said fine..worked with both of my kids, luckily. From 38w I think it’s just so uncomfortable, feel sorry for everyone who gets to w42...
My labour was so fast (25min) I didn’t actually need a hospital bag ..just the baby clothes, no time for snacks etc 😄, and was out after 6-7h..

Still struggling with BF, need to find a consultant for possible posterior tongue tie, which is not obvious one. Trying to stimulate my breast to produce more milk but feel like I’m failing, got about 20ml at 4am this morning , leftovers , which I guess I better than 5mls yesterday..so still giving him a top up with formula, he likes hipp organic and took the bottle too. So tired now, didn’t even have shower yesterday, been bf and pumping all day, hope things will change as really can’t do this 24/7, had no time for my daughter , I look like a zombie now, and getting bad sore throat and a cold..just what I need.

You guys should ignore the comments, I had my first at 40 and thought I was ‘young’...didn’t even think about it..at nearly 46 people do think we are crazy, and they do t even know he is ivf, so spent a fortune to get to this point, just don’t feel like explaining myself to anyone, I know they are all talking behind my back..my parents were concerned , mixed reaction when I told them that I was pregnant..they told my sister how worried they were, not me directly but of course she told me. And got stupid comments like if it was an accident or my husband got lucky on his bday etc..which were quite hurtful, especially as I was so hormonal from ivf treatment. Anyway, he is here and I don’t regret it for a second, he is just gorgeous .

I was very constipated during pregnancy, would not go like for 5d or longer, tried lactulose but made me bloated and gassy..what worked for me was eating every day some fresh pineapple ..really helped me.

Morning all

Great news on the scans @Realladymarmalade @DufferedUp both good sizes it seems? Very exciting

@sheera1 sorry you're having to deal with your aunt's bizzare attitude. What business is it if hers anyhow? She's clearly a weirdo. Good luck in ignoring her!

Also sorry to hear about @Fool11 @AliasGrape breastfeeding problems... Nothing useful to say except send my sympathies since I clearly know nothing... It sounds like a nightmare though, I'm sorry.

Waves to @Frazzlerock and everyone else

The only news here is that there is no news.. Thought my waters might have gone in the middle of the night but actually pretty sure I just wet myself a bit (lovely). Hospital appointment today and I think I'll accept a sweep (declined one on my due date as I have strep B and am a bit paranoid about them accidentally breaking my waters and/or transferring the infection to the baby but I guess I'll just ask for them to be super careful..) Also going to try walking the 3.5 miles to the hospital and see if that does anything except knacker me out

Morning!

I am flabbergasted about the comments and gossiping some of you are experiencing. What utter nobheads! I'm furious on your behalfs, its none of anyone else's business. Some women go through hell to hold their baby in their arms and have no choice but to have children in their 40's, and even if that's not the case, then who bloody cares what age they are!? God, people are such dicks .
I'm lucky that I've not had to endure that. But I guess I've been so vocal about our rollercoaster the past 4 years that most people have been rooting for us to finally hold our baby and we've had nothing but well wishes. However, when we started this, I was only 36. Maybe if we'd started the journey now, we might have had a different reaction, who knows.

@PregnantPorcupine I hope the walk helps, how many days over are you now? Good luck today at your appointment.

@fool11 get onto La Leche League ASAP and speak to a lactation consultant. They will be happy to help you. My cousin has put me in touch with a breastfeeding group on FB which she said is excellent. I've not looked at it yet as waiting for my approva,l but its called UK Breastfeeding Support - In fact I've just had a look for it and can't find it so you might need a special invitation. It seems to be very locked down and I had to ask a few questions.
I never had that let down feeling, never produced more than 5 mls in 2 hours of expressing and both mine lots tonnes of weight. I thought BFing was going to be easy! My mum did it easily enough with me and my sister until we were 2 and she raves about how easy it was so I was shocked when I discovered how hard it was.

Talking of which, a new toy arrived in the post yesterday. I ordered a second hand Medela Freestyle Flex, which is hospital grade pump so I'm hoping that will help for us.

Good news on the scans @DufferedUp and @Realladymarmalade. You're on the home stretch now!

Morning everyone!

Sending big love to @AliasGrape and @fool11 on your breastfeeding journeys! It's not an easy thing to do and the fact that you are persisting shows what amazing mums you are!

Welcome @Bonnie41 and congratulations on your pregnancy! Look forward to hearing how you are getting on.

@Sheera1 sorry to hear about your aunt. I cant believe how judgy people can be and reading about how people react or thinking about them talking about me behind my back gets me down too. But their opinions count for nothing. You and baby are going to be absolutely fine and we will all have the perfect reason for staying young and healthy for our kids. Please dont feel down, you will be grand x

Morning everyone! Feeling for those struggling with the breastfeeding. If anyone wants advice from me I have quite a bit of experience but I don't want to offer it u less it's wanted - frankly there's nothing worse than someone offering advice when you don't want it or it's conflicting with what's already been advised!!! Ive been continuously breastfeeding for over 16 years and have a total of over 18 yrs bf altogether. Have encountered most things - tongue tie, sleepy feeders, not gaining weight, thrush, repeated mastitis, jaundiced baby, reflux in baby, tandem feeding etc etc

@Sheera1 ignore the aunt and reassure you Mum that your medical team are happy with you - that's what matters - not what your Aunt thinks!!. I'm sure there are plenty talking behind my back but I don't see them or have contact with them so frankly I'm not going to give it any thought!! We only have telephone contact with my parents and parents in law. PIL haven't been told yet - they will be rude about it so we aren't going to until the baby is here. I don't have any contact with my brothers and an occasional e mail with one of my Uncles.

Hello ladies,
Hope we are all doing okay? I'm 34 weeks today so only 6 weeks to go. Am really suffering with my hips and pelvis and walking is so painful.

Some people can be funny about us having babies when older. My hubby's sister has not congratulated either of us and when we see his family, if there is a conversation about the baby, she ignores it. I've found that since I've been pregnant she has Ottery much ignored me too! We went to a bbq at hers a few weeks ago and she offered my hubby a drink when we got there but not me or my children. My children are from my previous marriage, she has also loaned to my hubby saying my daughter was rude when we went on a day out with them last year. She was just a moody teenager, her daughter can be worse and she is 23!

It has been hurtful but my hubby has said it's her loss as he won't be going to see her now. It's odd but it's almost as if she is jealous! Rant over ladies x

Thanks all yeah I will mention to midwife when she calls for ove the phone app next Thursday. I think people need to keep thier options to themselves regarding our ages I'm 39 and look younger yet it still draws comments there is no need , don't know home many times I've been asked if I'm ok with my age and being a 'geriatric' mum... piss off honestly. 😡

Ugh, so not a great result this morning. I was hoping/expecting to have an induction booked for next Monday but apparently the amount of fluid around the baby is low so tonight it is... And my hope for a lovely low intervention birth on the midwife led unit is also blown out of the water. Feeling pretty down at the moment.

And just to complicate matters, my friend/neighbour is also booked is for an induction at the same hospital tonight.. She's really lovely but I don't know her that well (our respective DPs know each other from uni but I've probably met her about 5 times in total) and I'm a bit worried about the added stress of having to be social 😂 (although I'm sure she'll feel the same) . Plus I know we both want water births and there's only one pool on the delivery suite! So that could be awkward 😕

Ugh, anyhow, think I need to go home and work on my positive affirmations!

So you have any experience with posterior tongue tie @onlyreadingneverposting8? Looking for a specialist all morning, they all seem to be on hols till end of August!..I’m happy to take any advice, happy to try anything to get him eating. Sometimes he eats really nicely, nicely swallowing etc, but most time he just wants to eat during the let down and then just doses off..not sure if it is a tongue tie or just laziness..but I do struggle to wake him and make him to take the nipple. He sometimes doesn’t want to take the nipple , open mouth properly, just want to suck on it and go to sleep. Sometimes he will put in but keeps mouth open like he doesn’t know what to do with it. But there are occasions when he is eating really nicely..might be just me not doing it properly..having serious doubts..

Hope all goes well for you @PregnantPorcupine tonight and you will have your little one in your arms soon..(fully understand not wanting to ‘socialise ‘ with your neighbour ..I’m sure the last thing you want to have a small chat with her to be polite)..hopefully you will be in a separate rooms 😬

@fool11 my nearly 7 yr old has a posterior tongue tie but as you found there is little help for it!! Feeding him was agony until he reached a size that meant he latched better! Youngest has a standard tie but didn't have any problems latching or feeding so I declined having it snipped. My best advice for a sleepy feeder is to feed often and strip them off down to nappy before a feed to make them wake up properly. Also rubbing feet and ear lobe (a paediatrician recommendation) to stimulate them. Have you tried running and bath, getting into the bath with him and feeding him there? That's another good one. It's always a fine line between wanting them to suckle to stimulate milk production and baby getting enough energy (whether from breast milk or formula) to suckle!! Some babies really do seem to think that their first 2 - 4 weeks in the word is about sleeping and have no desire to eat!!

World not word!

I didn’t know posterior tongue tie exist till yesterday..would you have it snipped? He does feed from bottle though..don’t want to stress him with surgery if not necessary..

Also any advice how not to get peed on during nappy change ?? My first was a girl so didn’t have this issue..he pees on me all the time, tried to put a wipe on his willy but still finds a way how to get me 😄

@fool11 🤣🤣 boys and the fountain...have a muslin at the ready when the nappy comes off!!

No snipping no... once he was bigger he latched better and he was pretty greedy so gained well, which meant no one was interested in my thoughts and discomfort!! He does have some speech problems now though and as soon as I get someone to see him I want him seen by a speech therapist.

Good luck tonight @PregnantPorcupine Hope it all goes well.

I know it’s hard to give up the idea of the low intervention birth and everything you’d planned - mine ended up being so so far from what I wanted and I ended up with pretty much every intervention going.
I won’t say I’m ok with it still - still processing as it’s only day 5 - but I am realising how hairy things actually got for us at times and how wonderful it is that we had the option of all those scary seeming interventions that kept us safe and now my little one is here and she’s perfect so that’s all that counts. I’m sure things will still be straightforward for you (and keeping everything crossed that you get the pool!) but even if things go a tiny bit differently you will be fine and you’ll do great xx

As it turned out with us the delivery suite was so jam packed I didn’t even get onto it until I’d been in active labour for hours. I overheard the nurse on the triage desk turning people away/ sending them to a different hospital whilst in labour because they simply didn’t have room or staff. I was in a bay in the antenatal ward with seven other women for much of it, eventually found a private room (looked like some kind of breakout/ meeting room - certainly not medical, just had my bed wheeled into it) for an hour or two and then finally taken down to a room on the labour ward. By which point things had gone way past asking for a pool or setting out my hypnobirthing fairy lights and what not! The one thing that really did save us was the portable speaker and my
playlist I’d made on repeat, absolutely kept me sane and stopped me getting too upset at times, and we even had it during the EMCS - my husband put the song I walked down the aisle to on repeat as Iris was born. The other thing that really helped was that I’d remembered lip balm and husband kept applying it for me. Beyond that all my hypnobirthing paraphernalia went untouched. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything either, I kept looking forlornly at my snack bag!

Community midwife came yesterday - she’s also referred DD for posterior tongue tie @fool11 Another midwife from same team came today to do 5 day check and also remove my dressing.

I’m coming to terms with the fact that DD will be bottle red. I’ve kept trying the expressing, putting her to breast etc, trying to pump every few hours - still not a drop produced. Meanwhile she’s happily taking the bottles and when weighed today had regained some of the scary amount of weight she’d lost by day 3. They also redid the jaundice test and phoned just before with the results - it’s still there but definitely improving, so the formula is obviously doing some good.
If my milk magically comes in I’ll reassess, but every unsuccessful feed followed by unsuccessful hand expression (which is so painful for me for some reason) followed by unsuccessful pump just makes me more and more anxious and stressed and as the clock gets closer to feeding time I just get panicked and start crying. I can’t do it much longer, I want to enjoy my daughter and not hate every second of trying to feed her. I’m heartbroken about it, I have no real idea how bottle feeding works, not got any bottles or steriliser or anything (jut using ready done ones at the moment) and got cupboards full
of feeding bras, vests, carefully chosen clothes that will allow breastfeeding, nipple shields, pads, cream etc etc. I was so set on it. But I’m not set enough on it to carry on down this route of constant pumping etc.
I’m in awe of those who do persevere but I don’t think I have it in me whilst trying to get over the infection, blood loss, surgery etc etc. The midwife today was so so lovely about it and helped me feel much calmer.

@AliasGrape you've been through it!! Baby is fed, gaining weight and jaundice improving - enjoy her!!

Alias grape

I'm with you on the planned vs actual birth front. My ds1 did not go to plan, and I needed time to process that too. But I do think that birth plans rarely pan out! We have one birthing pool at the labour suite. I have zero expectations that will be a thing but it's a nice thought.

I did feel as you when I had to quit BF my first..really gutted. By my second I just refused to put myself through painful on demand feeding where I physically cant latch... It was breaking me (and I had PND) . It's not worth it if its affecting you deeply - its early days yet but even my bf support worker with dd2 was very supportive and validating

Third time round , I am confident and happy in my feeding choices. Even if he can get the first few bits of colostrum ...that's like gold . And you have done really well.

onlyreading I am in awe of you though, that's amazing.

Ah man the judginess eh. Especially galling for thise of you who have been on a long journey to get here ! I've been judged for having kids with an older man who had a first family, judged for being a single parent, and there prob is an age judginess , yeah..oh and now having a baby with a second partner. One of the good things about being over 40 is that zero fucks are given by me. I sort of giggled when dd announced to my neighbour that this year she would have a brother who is 30 (half brother my ex's son), a brother who is 10 (mine) and a brother who is zero (this one with new dp)..oh and that she's one of 6. Neighbours face was a picture (I dont think they appreciated that my kids were not my partner's kids..We live in a naice middle class neighbourhood)..
Alot of people struggle with how we all just get on and have a loose definition of family, and a big family at that but it works for us .

pregnant porcupine
Good luck.
Each surge brings you closer ! You got this

. Alias also good points re a speaker and tracks playing. I'm going to get my partner to make a spotify playlist and the affirmations from my hypnobirthing book.

Do you think your son has problem with speech because of posterior tongue tie @onlyreadingneverposting8? We found a specialist midwife, private who will come and see him tomorrow..I really hope he hasn’t got it as sometimes he eats absolutely fine..confused, tired and exhausted from it..last 48h I’ve spent just feeding, pumping (got barely nothing), catching the let downs, washing bottles..had no time for anything else, especially my daughter which I feel guilty about. Keep trying to pump out whatever is leftover but getting barely anything..how can I get breast produce more? I don’t think it’s empty because he ate it all, there is just not enough there I think...

I know how you feel at @AliasGrape..I tried to pump all day today and got few drops, that’s after his feed, midwife said I should try for 15min, but there is nothing in there, it’s really upsetting. We are topping up with formula after feed, I used bottles with my first, she refused breast st 5m and to be honest I was relieved..it was very hard work with her..for myself perfect prep machine and they are brilliant. Had to use dr browns bottle which were a pain to clean but was glad when she was taking a bottle and started solids too..had so much time suddenly which felt great, must admit. I think I’m just going to do a mix , will try bf as much as I can and some feeds will just do a bottle, my husband then can do and I can have a bit of rest and normality..my boobs are getting sore from trying to pump all day. Just gonna give it few more days and will stop, really hate pumping.

Hope all goes well for you and smoothly tonight @PregnantPorcupine.

@PregnantPorcupine good luck!! I was induced with no 4 at 37+2 because of low amniotic fluid. It was fine xxx

@fool11 - who knows but it would add up!! He's the only one of mine that has any kind of speech problem. And the problems he has definitely come from tongue placement when making sounds.

Hey I lost the group and kept checking in on the first thread thinking no one posts anymore and feeling sad so I posted and that’s when it said it was closed and I did detective work and found you all. I’m now catching up with messages. I’m now 18 weeks and maybe feeling slight flutterings but who knows it could equally be wind. I also had an intense orgasm this morning and oh my god what the hell - I’ve abstained for a few weeks due to thrush followed by a uti and I’m now thinking I don’t know if I want to have another orgasm - I could feel the baby ‘flip’ over it felt like anyway hope you’re all well xx

@Kelpie123 lucky you I can't even go near DH 😂 poor guy! I'm 18 weeks also and feeling massive and lots of movement 👍👍

@Clarkel1 I think my DH would prob rather not anyway I can’t even pretend to be sexy lol. I’m only feeling slight movement, perhaps more today (perhaps I woke baby up with my uterine convulsions ) - but there’s times I doubt there’s a baby there despite the football up my jumper. I have my next scan on 19th and already got the fear