Pregnant after Missed Miscarriage MMC

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi, starting this thread -very tentitively- as a graduation from the TTC after MMC group. A couple of us have begun to get BFPs and I would like a space to go though this with people who get why I'm so anxious - especially in the first trimester! Some of the other threads are so big and rather gung ho and I want to tread a bit gently right now!
I am only 4 weeks but have been getting progressively darker tests since 7-8dpo.
I'm becoming more certain this is not a chemical but I am being so cautious! Definitely too scared to work out a EDD yet!

[MrsTtobe]

@Smilingdonkey ive only done the initial test 2 weeks ago because I'm too scared of testing again! I know I will over analyse the result. I'm the same I wake up every day and think to myself I wonder if today will be the day it will all go wrong again. 😔 I had symptoms right up until I just randomly started bleeding one day. The week before my 12 week scan. Im 6+4 I think today and just feel like I can't carry on like i am. Im driving myself insane. 😥 x

[Sakura54]

@bubblybon20 lol really? Let us know how he reacts when you tell him!
I can't hide it even if I wanted to as I get bad symptoms. I'm going to try not to stay in bed all day but it's so hard. DH was basically looking after DS singlehandedly as well as making sure I was fed! What I didn't know was the baby was long gone so I was sick for nothing.

@Char1127 I get bad cramps for weeks so I don't think it's anything to worry about. This time it's milder for some reason but still there... my timing was the same as yours. For me, there was no sign at all that anything was wrong until my scan.

[Smilingdonkey]

@MrsTtobe is it worth taking a CB digital to set your mind at rest? Or going for an early scan? I know it's not for everyone but you can't go on feeling that stressed 😭 Maybe you could ask the Dr to do some blood tests? If you say you are anxious they might do them for you? Xxxxxx

I told DP today ... Such a weight lifted. I feel so much better and a little less anxious now xx

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

@MrsTtobe I am sorry it is so stressful - going to the loo is also really stressful for me. I don’t have anything to suggest - I saw my doctor on Friday and she said I was visibly anxious and stressed and that I should consider some kind of counselling. I am not sure what is available - I do actually have a therapist but I am wondering if I need something more targeted at this particular anxiety. Not saying that is the right course of action for you - just sharing my own experiences xxx

[MrsTtobe]

@Smilingdonkey @Ranoutofgoodnames thank you so much ladies..I plucked up the courage yesterday afternoon to do the last CB test I had in the cupboard. It's now saying 3+ weeks, my initial test on AF due date said 1-2 weeks. Seeing the 3+ helped for about 10 minutes then I was back to feeling really anxious.
I suffer from Health Anxiety on and off anyway since my mum had cancer several years ago. Ive had various therapies and counselling but unfortunately found nothing that works.

I'm just saying a little thank you (I'm not sure who to😂) at the end of every day and taking each day as it comes. X

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

@MrsTtobe that is reassuring!! I am waiting for the 3+ to happen and it has taken on a disproportionate significance to me...

I watched a video on YouTube by a woman who was pregnant again after multiple miscarriages and she said that the way she got through it was by celebrating the small milestones - like turning another week pregnant, booking in appointment etc rather than focusing on the big huge 12 week scan. Small steps I think for me at least

[MrsTtobe]

@Ranoutofgoodnames yes 100% agree. Small steps are the way forward. My booking in appointment is 16th July (I would be 9 weeks then, hopefully) but I just can't even think about it. It feels months away and i know from experience it can go from everything fine to bleeding in the space of half an hour. I've got much stronger symptoms than last time. And im extremely bloated so trying my very best to keep positive. I know what will be will be so it's no help to worry about it but easier said than done eh.🙄
How many weeks are you lovely? Is it your first baby? Xx

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

@MrsTtobe I am just over six weeks - I had an early scan last week and it is looking a bit small so going back next Monday to have another one and see what’s what - so I am holding onto all the small milestones and positive vibes!

It’s my first one - I am 40 and there have been several bumps in the road before I got here so I am trying to stay calm and enjoy it!

[MrsTtobe]

@Ranoutofgoodnames I've got everything crossed for you then lovely. You're about the same as me then. Think im 6+5 today. Hopefully we can help each other along the way. 😊😘 xx

[Smilingdonkey]

Oh that's good @MrsTtobe 😊 It's a shame they don't do a 4+ weeks one though isn't it! @raboutofgoodnames keep staying positive. Have you found any appropriate counselling or perhaps meditation or something that might help? I always used to swim but C19 has put a stop to that! I can't imagine how anxious you might be feeling?

I think the only way I am getting through this is with fortnightly scans. I'm going private and paying. I've decided it's worth it if it helps a bit. They are about £40 on groupon so I reckon 7 weeks and 9 weeks and possible another if 12 weeks scan is later ... Is that excessive?!

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

@Smilingdonkey I think that sounds reasonable! I had wondered whether the easiest thing would be to do nothing and try to pretend it wasn’t happening and just hold out for twelve weeks. But the doctor I have (private not nhs - the lady who did my d&c in April through work health insurance) said I should let her know as soon as I got a positive test as she wanted to test blood levels. Am now on progesterone supplements - I think just because they can help and don’t do any harm. She also wanted to do an early scan - she is of the view better to know if it isn’t working so we can try again. I also have a slightly higher risk of chromosome disorders so i ended up agreeing that more is more eventually in terms of being reassured 😂😂

Scans are so reassuring and if you start at seven you know that you won’t have anything inconclusive and if it is bad news (touch all the wood in the world it isn’t) you can start the end in a peaceful way

I don’t know re counselling - my current approach is to get the end of working all day at my kitchen table and then go to bed and sleep as much as possible - and I shall repeat this every day until the next scan 😂😳

[bubblybon20]

Has anyone heard of the sneak peak packs you can buy? I've seen a few groups talking about them.
Basically you can find out the gender from like 8/9 weeks! 🤷🏻‍♀️ just wanted people's opinions/thoughts on it :) x

[Smilingdonkey]

@bubblybon20 I had no idea you could do that! I don't think I would want to know that early ... I think I'd worry it would make me too attached to the baby so early 😩

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

The only thing I have heard is the harmony test you can get at ten weeks - it’s to detect chromosome issues but also tells you the gender

Am off to google naturally 🤷‍♀️

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

@bubblybon20 😳😳 this is a thing you are right! Blood test that checks for boy dna which can be discerned in mum’s blood at 8 weeks

Don’t know why I am shocked when I knew the harmony test could do this at ten weeks

[bubblybon20]

I agree @Smilingdonkey I don't think I would want to know either 😫 it's weird cause I knew from the start with both my boys they was boys, didn't even cross my mind for a girl. So weird! 🤣x

[ew1990]

Hi ladies. I was on the MMC thread. 5 weeks on Thursday since my MMC. If I post some pictures will you please tell me I'm crazy 😂😂

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

Absolutely won’t tell you that as will always support poas addictions! Please do and we can analyse

[ew1990]

You'se can see this right? Don't know what made me test. This is an 8pm wee and only like an hour hold.

[ew1990]

The camera is barely picking it up. It's a proper squinter

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

The second line to the left? Yes can see that

[ew1990]

The really really faint one? Told you I was crazy 😂

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

I mean this is potentially very exciting!! Did you spot ovulation signs during the five weeks?

I think you know the drill: test again and see if it gets stronger but 🤞

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

It’s not that faint at all - I know it’s inverted but it’s a lot stronger than my first real squinter

[ew1990]

@ranoutofgoodnames not really but I wasn't really thinking about it.

Ive bought opks and a thermometer for after my first AF as Well.

I'll test again tomorrow with FMU.