Pregnant after Missed Miscarriage MMC

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi, starting this thread -very tentitively- as a graduation from the TTC after MMC group. A couple of us have begun to get BFPs and I would like a space to go though this with people who get why I'm so anxious - especially in the first trimester! Some of the other threads are so big and rather gung ho and I want to tread a bit gently right now!
I am only 4 weeks but have been getting progressively darker tests since 7-8dpo.
I'm becoming more certain this is not a chemical but I am being so cautious! Definitely too scared to work out a EDD yet!

[bubblybon20]

I don't really have much symptoms, apart from today I have lower pelvic aches, and a aches in my back! Not painful though, hoping it's just normal 🙄

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

My doctor has been very firm with me that I can’t compare pregnancy symptoms between pregnancies

Have a friend who had two miscarriages and then a third successful pregnancy and she had loads of symptoms with the miscarriages and none with the successful pregnancy 🤷‍♀️

Thing is we all know that things can actually mean bad news so I find that I am less able distract myself and not think about it. If my scan miraculously holds good news then I really do need to find a way to calm down a bit as this level of stress is going to kill me 😫

[Sakura54]

@Smilingdonkey yes, it would be lovely to have a group with you ladies.

@peonyrose87 I took a look at the FB group and my goodness, so many people. I think it's way too early as some have barely missed their AFs. I prefer to know who they are on here but it's not easy to remember lol. Will have a read when I'm bothered. I find their enthusiasm, excitement and repetitive questions a bit much TBH and them talking about being scared of going to their scans all alone and getting bad news - which is exactly what happened to me...

@ew1990 I've changed my tracking app to 'pregnancy mode' but I don't want to look at the weekly baby updates about size and what's going on in there.

Had my booking in telephone appt today. Would have been easier if they could just use my details from my last one seeing as it was just the other day. They literally could just give me back the same maternity book with the dates changed lol. It was exactly the same complete with all the extra appts for having a risky pregnancy and being consultant led.

Didn’t think they would do it until I was 8 weeks, I'm not even 6! Have to go in for checks and blood test, we practically had a row lol, as they wanted me to come today whereas I don’t even want to have a blood test yet, plus I just had one a few months ago and it’s not that local (my parents’ local hospital), so I picked my own date. Wasn’t nice having to discuss the MMC.

[peonyrose87]

@Sakura54 after my positive post yesterday about it, I feel the same as you do now! It's all a bit much and I've realised I'm a lot more anxious than I was letting on. I'd be happy to join a group with you ladies a little further down the line-I think a MMC just totally changes the pregnancy doesn't it as we were unaware that anything was wrong until the scan (or that was my experience anyway). I've stopped looking at the group for now

[Millymay13]

Hi everyone, can I join your trying-to-stay-calm-but-inside-I’m-scared group? I got my first positive pregnancy test today after a MMC in February this year. I’ve only just missed my period but for the last couple of weeks have had intermittent nausea and sore boobs so thought I should test as soon as I missed my period and got a strong positive result. I’m such a strange mix of feelings, happy and excited but cautious and scared. Fingers crossed things work out this time...

[Smilingdonkey]

@millymay13 welcome and congratulations!
I booked my scan for 17th when I should be over 7 weeks. I was riddled with anxiety with my DD for no reason at all and then had no concerns at all with my MMC in April. So weird. I'm hoping my anxiety now is a good sign! I just wish I could know now of if it is not going to be ok 😔 So glad I have you guys! My partner doesn't get it.
I am on a wonderful FB group with my last Mumsnet group for September 2018 babies and there are about 50 of us which is perfect. There was always someone up at 4 am with you! Any more might get manic!

[bubblybon20]

Hello @Millymay13 so glad you've joined us. We can all try and help each other together, and help calm each other anxieties!
So many lovely people on this thread.

@Smilingdonkey I totally agree with you, I told my husband yesterday about my pregnancy, But he just doesn't get my over testing, his so excited talking the future and everything, which I can understand as it is exciting, but I feel like there's a wall stopping me from even feeling at that point yet! 😣 he was amazing when I had my MC in April, but obviously it's not the same as talking to other people who have been in the situation themselves. And people being there whenever I have a stupid question that I need answers too 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

[bubblybon20]

Has any one had a dull ache in their left ovary? 🤷🏻‍♀️. Had it on and off, not painful just a bit achy.. I am 4 + 6.

[ew1990]

@bubblybon I keep getting aches in my side. Sometimes a stabbing pain. I remember this With DD. Convinced I wasn't pregnant.

[bubblybon20]

Oh that's a bit reassuring! It's weird haha, just keep thinking the worst with it 😫 defo going to have to book an early scan, feel so so anxious 😟 surely it's not healthy haha x

[ew1990]

Yeah it's weird. With DD I had no symptoms loads of pain and even bleeding at 9 weeks and everything was fine with her.

The last time I had sickness all day no real pain or bleeding and that was the MMC.

To be honest I'm dreading going for a scan. The last one traumatised me a little bit. I rang the midwife straight away last time and had booking appointment at 6 weeks. I must only be about 3/4 weeks now so I'm gunna leave it a few weeks before I ring up

[bubblybon20]

It's weird how our bodies are so different, I didn't have any problems with either of my sons.
But with my MC in April, I had spotting from 4 weeks. And on and off until I was 8 weeks.

Haven't had any this month so hoping it's a good sign for me!
I agree with the scans, I would be gutted if they don't pick anything up as it'll be too early, and it would have to be after 8 weeks. X

[ew1990]

Last time the heartbeat stopped at 9+1 So I wouldn't be able to relax if it was before that. But I know it can happen at anytime.

I'm just trying to relax and think positive.

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

Yes to positive thinking - there are so many success stories out there. I don’t think anyone who has had a miscarriage would be all “oh no it would never happen again” but we all know that yes there’s a risk but there’s a massively bigger chance it is going to be fine.

I thought I would be in bed all day every day with anxiety If I got pregnant again but here I am even facing some bad news on Monday and I am about to go to the supermarket and do the weekly shop. We all have understandable fears but I think it is pretty impressive we are here functioning and able to get support from each other.

Saying that I might go back to bed after the supermarket. But that’s because I am a bit lazy and hopefully one day soon I will have a baby and won’t be able to do it anymore 🤞

[Millymay13]

@bubblybon20 I keep getting random twinges/aches in the general lower abdomen/womb type area and I’m just trying to ignore them. I remember them from last time though and I think they do feel a bit different to period type pain so assuming all is well.

I have another weird symptom (and this might be TMI) which is happening now and last time where my wee comes out in a much more slow flow than usual. I can be busting to go but it seems to just come out gently instead. I’m presuming it’s something to do with the placement of my uterus and bladder!

When I had my MMC the EPU said for me to ring up when I got pregnant again and they do an early scan for me to reassure all is going well early on. I really want to do it as I would love to go to just one scan and see a flickering or hear a heartbeat but I’m so scared to go and see it’s not progressing like before. I think I’ll wait at least a week before ringing them. Probably.

I’m also not sure what to do with work. I work in the NHS and whilst I’ve thankfully finished my redeployment into the local hospital to work with covid patients, we have all had to fill out a risk assessment and are meant to tell management if anything changes. I don’t really want to tell them just yet but then I guess I should.

Oh the dilemmas!!

[ew1990]

@millymay I work for the nhs too.
I'm a ward with suspected covid 😩

But nothing changed for me last time I was pregnant. I told loads of people because its a heavy ward and they were so supportive when I had my MMC but I really don't want to tell them again.

Ive Just had some pink blood when I went to the toilet. But tmi I do have piles 😂 so hoping it's come from there.

[Ranoutofgoodnames]

The thing I have been amazed at since I had some bleeding is how normal is it to bleed in the first trimester! Most women I have mentioned it to said oh yes I bled and I think about 25% or so of women do??

At my scan the doctor saw blood (about 9mm) diameter and she wasn’t really fussed about that - much more focused on hcg numbers.

[Sakura54]

It’s true that we don’t have a higher chance of another MC, but I'm a pessimist as it is so there's no way I can think positively (which is what the booking appt midwife told me to do). I have a date for my dating scan and I'm going to be absolutely bricking it! At least this time I’ll be closer to 12 weeks as opposed to nearly 13 last time.

I think the nausea has started. I get bad symptoms on top of many pregnancy issues. Why oh why can't I just have it easy!? Lol. Symptoms mean nothing though, as it was the same with both pregnancies, however with the MMC one, they disappeared when I was 10 weeks...

@peonyrose87 since the FB group, that thread is slowly dying already. Oh well.

[bubblybon20]

@Sakura54 did you join the FB group!? Is it any good?

[Sakura54]

@bubblybon20 I took a look but it's a lot of people, very busy and all happy happy so I don't think I'm going to join in yet.

[bubblybon20]

@Sakura54 yeah I think that's what holding me back, will see how things go before I plan on joining. X

[peonyrose87]

@Sakura54 yeah it is! I think I'm just going to stay here for a while ☺️

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi everyone!
My anxiety is through the roof ... I have had a stitch like pain in my lower left side and I'm freaking out. Could it be an ectopic? It's mainly there when I move or walk about after sitting down but it's quite bad 😫
Interesting a few of you are feeling cramps too - anything like this?
Xxx

[bubblybon20]

@Smilingdonkey that's exactly what I've had all day!! Feels worse when sitting 😫

[bubblybon20]

@Smilingdonkey also I keep telling myself if it was ectopic then surely there would be more symptoms? I haven't had anything else have you?