Due August 2020 Thread 3

[cannotmakemymindup]

Hi ladies new thread for all us August Due! Now on thread 3. Newbies always welcome.

Her answer to any problems is also full time bed rest so a little contradictory. Although when she was pregnant the only advice to pregnancy related problems was 9 months worth of bed rest. She was really unimpressed when I informed her the only thing that's going to achieve is an increased risk of pneumonia and DVT's

We've said definitely absolutely no one here for first two weeks whilst my DH is off work for those weeks. Just us a family.

With the birth of my daughter I got completely overwhelmed by all the unwelcome visitors ('we're just staying 10 minutes' crew who we had told we didn't want over after my C-section), so I am loving the fact I can get them all to stay away more easily this time. We had already decided this anyway when I found out I was pregnant but now have such a good reason. We have already prepared my ILs for the fact they won't be holding baby when they do meet it as I don't want his mums tears at the time over the unfairness of the situation.

@Lucky08 @Oldestchild90s Sorry you are having such ridiculous advice. The best piece I have heard and do keep to is, no one else has ever had your baby before!

@cannotmakemymindup, I like that, no one baby, person or circumstances is the same. She harmless enough really, think I'm just more annoyed i dont have my own mother to interfere.

OH has decided I'm being stupid for having the 2 week rule, he said "I don't want visitors but I want my mum and dad there and your mum will be gutted if shes not involved and your dad too" I was like it's only 2 weeks, they've waited 9 months. He was like "nah, that's stupid"

@cannotmakemymindup I think I need to be more you and just tell them. No idea why I'm treading carefully, think it's just emotions are running high atm. I'm about to call my mum and tell her.....🤦🏻‍♀️😩. Friends will understand and the rest of family. MIL totally gets it and is supportive.

@Leigh1989 Hope it goes well and even if it doesn't just remember why you have made that decision. You are a mum looking out for your baby, who you care about keeping physically safe, more than a grown ups feelings!

I’m going to allow close family to visit as soon as they want & have a hold. I can’t deny my parents or my gran the opportunity to cuddle their first grand/great grandchild. My family has all been pretty shielded anyway. I’ve not been super super shielded as I just couldn’t face not leaving the house anymore! I’ve been to shops & visited my parents etc & my DP has continued to work outside the home for this full time so I feel like he’s probably a higher risk than my family & I’m not stopping him from holding his child. I understand people’s views but I feel like the risks are so slim & I worry for all the babies born through this pandemic that will have no immune system as they haven’t been exposed to anything

@newmama29 if you feel safe doing that thats absolutely fine. I think we've all got different things we feel comfortable with, especially under this weird world we live in.

I just know how I felt last time and my feelings being steamrolled over others needs and I don't want this time to be the same. I also think I have ended up being way more cautious than I originally would have liked but I am mixed race so just aware of all the statistics around maternal health risks and then the Coronavirus and I don't want to become one. Equally balanced with I am going to go on holiday visit a beach and woodlands etc because I to am a bit tired of just being home.

@cannotmakemymindup I agree, whatever works for each other. If I lived in a bigger city with higher rates of the virus I would probably be much more cautious but the rates in my area have been very low & I don’t know anyone to have died or been seriously ill from it, nor has anyone I know know someone if you get me? Also my family have been very cautious due to my stepdad shielding. As I’m a FTM I also would like the support early, however if I feel anyone tries to overstep & steamroll I have a good relationship with my mum to tell her that without it being a fuss. I also have no ILs so that’s not a problem lol!

Gosh I hadn’t even thought about visitors yet, now you’ve all got me thinking.

Things are very much back to normal where I live (although rates are on the increase daily!) - OH’s brother goes to the gym everyday - which as far as I’m concerned is the worst place to go right now corona-wise. Now thinking, I don’t want him holding my nb!

Hmmmm we are very much undecided. I want her to socialise right from the off with our nearest and dearest but equally I feel that the first few weeks she is so susceptible to infection anyway I don't want to increase the risks. Might give it the first two weeks just us and then see how we feel....

@Newmama29
I completely agree! Me only being 20 and my boyfriend only 21 I think we will struggle with it being our first baby and us being quite young. I would love for my mum and also my mum in law to be here to be Able to help me out. I think everybody has their own opinion, but I believe that we are safe as we have all isolated and, I couldn’t ever deny them seeing their first grandchild 🙈 we have spent lots of time with them over lockdown so to be honest I don’t really see the difference.

Thanks for setting up a new thread @cannotmakemymindup

I think we will let immediate family over to see baby but maybe hold off on other visitors for a few weeks. Cannot imagine denying my mum a cuddle with her first grandchild!

It's all just kicked off here - husband complained about a mild tummy ache this morning which by 2'oclock had him doubled over in pain in bed with a sore to touch lower right hand side. Cue me insisting he goes to a&e, obviously not being allowed to go in with him, and him being put on a morphine drip and being seen by a surgeon within an hour of going in, surgeon has diagnosed appendicitis and waiting to hear when they will operate - I'd imagine quite soon, given how quickly they got him through triage. Not the afternoon I had planned and now I am worried sick. On the up side, my mum is now coming over to stay with me as I think she could tell I was in a bit of a state when I called her. Not technically allowed within the current rules but if this was happening next weekend she'd be allowed, and I am classing this as an emergency!

@mable88 this is most defo an emergency situation. How awful for you both, hopefully will get him in sooner rather then later

We are going to have 7 days at home just the 3 of us. My partners parents will be coming up for the last few days of his paternity leave, then I'll allow my family to visit. My partners family are 4h away and are in a position to isolate and have been well behaved so I don't mind having them to visit. They are also easy to be around.
My family are 20 minutes away but are not in a position to isolate my dad is still working and my mum is a carer to my grandparents. Neither have been particularly good about following the rules. I am unsure about how close to let them get and how frequently. They are also less likely to listen to out wishes. It is hard, I don't want to have different rules for different people but we may end up that way, at least in the short term

@mable88 Oh I'm not surprised you were in a state!! Really glad your mum can be with you, definitely an emergency your husband being rushed to hospital. Really glad he can get on the road to recovery soon! At least it's happening now and not in a few weeks time closer to the birth though.

Oh no @mable88 what a nightmare! I had appendicitis a few weeks ago but fortunately it was caught early and treated with strong antibiotics and 3 days in hospital.
Your husbands sounds quite advanced if he is in that much pain bless him.
This definitely counts as an emergency situation!

@Firstmummytobe I totally agree! My mum also is my stand in birth partner as my DP works nights & in case he wouldn’t make it back on time so realistically she’s gonna be around lol!

@mable88 no wonder you’re worrying! Don’t stress too much though, appendectomies are fairly routine & he should recover quick, don’t get yourself into a state & look after baby. It’s great your mum is coming to stay with you!

Our pram arrived today and I've spent an hour putting it up! I love it though 😍 finally! Everything is now here and ready for the babies arrival

Picture didn’t attach in PP

@sel2223 my partner is currently overseas too so we may fly out when baby is 2/3 months old perhaps! I'm really worried about it though, will only fly if we feel comfortable

@Beau2020 so sorry you're in a similar position. It's just so hard to know what to do for the best isnt it?
It isn't so much the flight itself as all the research shows that the circulated air onboard actually makes it pretty low risk, it's the airport and transport either side that worries me!
And once I'm there I'll be happy as it's a quiet area with a far, far lower infection rate than where I live in the UK.
I'm stressing myself out thinking about it!

Absolutely gorgeous pram by the way!

Sorry ladies only just catching up and such a good conversation about seeing relatives after.

I'm with most of you that I want to wait at least 7 days until anyone comes round, grandparents included. We had said this before covid so actually at least we have an excuse now. Both our parents will want to 'help' but are quite full on and I feel like we will feel overwhelmed with it. We want to get to know how to keep her alive ourselves and just have our little bubble. My partners parents are totally on board and understand, my mum however just shrugs her shoulder and says 'hmm we will see about that ' (dad totally understands it too). The worst thing is my mum is a carer so she should know she's more at risk. I'm finding it difficult even bringing it up because I think she thinks I'm joking. She really can't see that we just want to protect little one. She even thinks it's silly that we are shielding as much as we can.

@mable88 sorry to hear about your hubby, sending him wishes for a speedy recovery! At least it's happened now and not a few weeks time!

Thanks everyone - hubby being kept in overnight, which I was expecting, he's having a CT scan and they will treat anything that shows up, otherwise wait and see - if his symptoms get better by tomorrow morning he can come home, if they don't then most likely they will take out the appendix. I know he's in the best place and he has been dealt with really quickly, it's just so hard not to worry and think worst case, especially with baby so close now.