Those who followed Gina Fords advice what was your experience?

[Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy]

Hi,

I’m a FTM due in two weeks and have read two of Gina Fords books. I like routine and liked the way she offered a clear sleep routine to aim for. However I’m now starting to swing the other way and think more “ go with the flow”. I’m not sure if the strict routines will create more or less stress! What’s your experience?

Personally I found it too restrictive for us. I read Tracey Hogg's baby whisperer book and liked that much better. It gives a routine but is more flexible.

I cried reading her book so I burnt them

Not a chance my babies would have done it. My friend did it and it was such a pain - she could never go out and meet friends or anything because baby had to nap in its own cot in a darkened room etc.

Personally my advice would be to go with the flow, every time. Throw away the books and just listen to what your baby needs. There's no such thing as a 'rod for your own back' - do whatever gets you all through each day the easiest way. If it becomes an issue, fix it then. It probably won't though (in my experience).

And in terms of stress, the routines would have created epic amounts of stress for me. And I love routines for myself...

The only part of her book I used was the 7-7 routine, so woke DD up at 7am and started our day and then she went down at 7pm.

It could have been that or it could have been pure luck that DD was an easy baby but I had a couple of hours in the evening to myself before doing more feeds (including a dream feed which was amazing).

We didnt do it but I remember it was tricky meeting up with those who did, as everything was to such a struct timetable!

I didn't follow Gina Ford as I don't feel her accolade of being a baby expert is either deserved or accurate. Personally I don't believe that you can put babies into routines easily, they change frequently and each baby will be different.

I did try a more structured approach initially but ended up with a go with the flow approach, worked out for myself what worked and what didn't, made lots of mistakes but didn't stress about parenting books. It may seem haphazard but I did lots of groups, I had no friends in the area so concentrated on getting myself a social and support network locally.

Good luck with whatever you decide, always follow your gut instinct and don't doubt yourself, by all means look at parenting books but don't give yourself something to beat yourself with, raising a baby is hard, sleep deprivation is hard so don't make it harder than it needs to be

Very interesting. I have a friend who the Gina Ford routines really worked for but she was very restricted to when she could go out etc. She put a lot of work in but her baby did sleep through the night quickly.

I liked the routines but I do find some of it contradictory and found myself tying myself in knots trying to plan how to fit in bath, feed, bedtime, our dinner plus horse and dog all on schedule! Might be ok if you have nothing else apart from the baby. My instinct is telling me to go with the flow now but I guess that’s scary cos it’s a complete unknown with no plan, not great for a control freak like me!

Same as a PP. I burned the copy I was given.
My sister swears by it, but after watching her force her babies to finish a bottle and seeing her ignore her own instincts in favour of 'the routine' I couldn't be responsible for passing it on.

When your baby is born, you will bend to their every whim. The baby might be really nice and calm, or really needy, who knows? But the best advice I can give is let go of any expectation and don't expect your life to be like it was, or not to suffer any inconvenience, fatigue, and so on. The baby is going to change your life but is that a bad thing? Just enjoy it, you'll look back fondly in the years to come. (And not, don't do GF, it's cruel! - not sure why people have babies if they just intend to ignore them!)

Please be aware that GF is also known on MN as she who cannot be named after, allegedly threatening legal action. So tread carefully. I've been on here since 2006.

I did Tracey Hogg's Baby Whisperer more of a routine than a schedule. That was 17 years ago. Much more watching for cues from your baby and responding to them. It worked really well for me and lots of others.

Babies can't tell the time. Some feed fast others feed slow. So my advice is do what you feel is right for you, trust your gut. You will be full of hormones, be kind to yourself, take every bit of help offered. Batch cook food now that you can just put into the oven.

I tried going with the flow in the beginning and infant DS got more and more cranky. Tried Gina Ford in desperation when he was about three months old and it turned out to suit him down to the ground. I never used blackout blinds, but followed the routines and he was the happiest baby possible after that. He seemed to need to know what was coming next, even as a baby. He's 18 now and still loves schedules and hates surprises!
DD didn't need strict schedules as much, so I used Baby Whisperer techniques with her. Kept to a regular bedtime routine from when she was a couple of months old and regular mealtimes when she started solids and she was happy.
It depends very much on the baby's character, I think.

It's pure bs, I'm so glad I ignored all that crap and just took what came with my dd, it was hard at the time but she needed to know I was there. 2 years later she sleeps better than any of my friends kids who used GF because shes emotionally secure at bedtime.

Awful. Awful. Awful. That book should be burnt.

I found it pretty useful. Didn’t understand why people got so het up about her, and I follow it rigidly (wasn't there something have having to have had a slice of toast at 8am or something?) but it was a useful framework. Wasn’t upset if anything didn’t go to plan, or I had a phone call at the wrong time. Didnt get on at all with the baby whisperer which some on here raved about. But this was all 17 years ago... (can’t believe I’ve been on MN that long!)

Oops - I *didnt follow it rigidly!

I used GF methods. I needed the structure. I am the first to admit that at times it was restrictive and could be stressful but I am glad I followed it as my kids slept through fairly early and have also been fairly good sleepers. I think some of it comes down to your own personality. Do you like routine or are you more of a "go with the flow" personality? If I had any more kids I would probably loosely follow the structure but try not to be as rigid (especially about nap location!).

@Superfoodie123

It's pure bs, I'm so glad I ignored all that crap and just took what came with my dd, it was hard at the time but she needed to know I was there. 2 years later she sleeps better than any of my friends kids who used GF because shes emotionally secure at bedtime.

I’m not sure if you meant it that way but that’s a very smug sounding post. When babies don’t sleep well it isn’t because they aren’t emotionally secure. Thats just going to make a lot of mums feel like crap. Im glad you’re happy with how you’ve done things but it’s worth keeping an open mind that all babies are different and some absolutely thrive on routine, like the PP above.

From my (limited) experience it just depends on your baby. They might be a Gina Ford baby who thrives on routine, or they might not be, you don't know yet. My friend's first baby was a dream GF baby, and her second is not at all.

I read books on a few approaches (including Gina Ford) and used them for general ideas. My DD was immediately very routine-driven when it came to sleep, but she set those patterns on her own (waking at exactly the same times every night). GF's approach to feeding I hated, and I went with what DD wanted.

I drove myself demented trying to follow Sarah Ockwell-Smith's sleeping tips (I think of her as the opposite of Gina Ford) as despite how much I liked her approach, DD was not that kind of baby!

So I'd echo PPs and say get ideas, but pick what works for your new arrival.

Congratulations

I know someone who followed it to the letter- to the extent that her Dad who was dying and not expected to even see his grandchild, was cuddling her tiny baby- and she made him put the baby into the cot because that’s what the book said.

I went home and cried.

I dont think it would work for your circumstances sounds like you'll need baby to fit in with you a bit.
If you want to breastfeed it works best done on demand so you feed whenever baby seems hungry rather than every 4 hours as the old fashioned advice was. Naps kind of fall into a pattern eventually but newborns sleep a lot and then start to distinguish more between night and day after 6/12 weeks. By the first birthday usually 2 daytime naps are enough.

I read GFs books and took bits from that. I used a routine/schedule, but it wasn't as severe as GF's. The 45 min max naps were very useful. Controlled crying I didn't use, although I did use some of the tips.

I would read what you can and use the bits that make sense to you and whatever you do, be flexible.

Will be interesting to see if enough time has now passed that we can talk about her again....

My son, a long time ago, thrived using GF. It suited him and suited me. He still loves routine actually. Anyway, I found it useful because I wasn't very confident so it really helped
Plus, the sleeping was amazing.

My midwife told me that in her view the only real us for GF books was as doorstops or kindling. She had seen so much pain caused by new mums trying to force babies to fit a routine that only works in a minority of cases. I'd go with the flow and find what works for you.