Those who followed Gina Fords advice what was your experience?

[Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy]

Hi,

I’m a FTM due in two weeks and have read two of Gina Fords books. I like routine and liked the way she offered a clear sleep routine to aim for. However I’m now starting to swing the other way and think more “ go with the flow”. I’m not sure if the strict routines will create more or less stress! What’s your experience?

I ended up sort of doing a mix of GF and the baby whisperer stuff from about 9 weeks, and it worked really well.

This was me with my twins. After 11 weeks of letting them do their own thing, which pushed me to the brink.
Each baby found their own routine but they weren't the same.
Once I had a routine that was the same for both of them I could cope.

I have 3 dc.
They had very different routines and different things worked.
BUT
dc was like clockwork. He fed every 3 hours, and once full, wouldn't take a drop more (no feeding off to sleep). I bf and he set the routine.
he slept like a log too.

At 5 weeks, we were struggling, he wasn't napping any more and then screaming in the evening. In desperation I read GF book. 2 comments jumped out at me.

1. once a baby has been up for 2 hours they are tired, put them down for a sleep. I tried it, it worked, happy baby overnight. As a new mum I hadn't realise that he had stopped napping as he wasn't dropping off on his own and that I needed to help him.
2. Keep to a consistant get up time and first feed. Otherwise your timings slide unitl they are sleeping late in the morning and not going to bed. I didn't do it, but kept it in mind.

those 2 things were really helpful to me, and worked. But they worked because he was such a routine based baby, and an efficient feeder.

But dc 2 was SO different, she didn't feed on a schedtook ages to feed, slept allover the place, BUT she was chilled and didn't care if milk was a bit early or late. remains a chilled adult!

dc 3 was required to fit into life with 2 older siblings. GF doesn't work in a family of mutiple siblings. Also worth remembering that her system is based on ff babies

I think the point of a routine is that you preempt the babies need before they get to the point of having to demand anything. So they don't need to demand a feed or scream themselves to sleep as you've already anticipated that need (hunger/tiredness) and met it.

It is also reassuring for babies if they can predict what to expect next. Everyone needs some consistency in their life otherwise you'd never know what to expect from one min to the next!!

I'm a Gina Ford advocate! I tried it early on but it didn't work at all. Then when my son was 4 months, I met a lady in the park who recommended it highly so I tried again and it has been a dream ever since! Those who say it's restrictive are right to a point. It works better if you stay close to home. The timings can be moved though so if they miss a lunchtime nap, just give them longer in the afternoon. I would plan journeys to coincide with sleep too and still do when I need it. I will say that my child sleeps well and when I tell him to which is different to those I know who don't follow a routine. He is also generally happy all the time and I believe that is because he is never tired or hungry. We found the Gina Ford approach amazing. Everything just clicked into place and I definitely recommend it. It's like marmite though, people either love it or hate it! Good luck xx

My babies seemed to have read her books and just needed me to read them so I'd know the game plan. If they'd hated it I wouldn't have done it but we had ridiculously easy babies, provided we followed the books. Except the sleeping part, babies sleep more.

I tried. It definitely contributed to my severe pnd.

We had friends following it come to stay when their baby was 6 mo. Everything was wrong! We had no blackout blinds (our Dd1 didn't need them). We couldn't go out for lunch (as their dc had to be asleep in a cot in a totally dark totally quiet room apart from white noise from a fan (we didn't have a fan - they went and bought one!) for a nap at lunchtime). It was ghastly. I know now it was mainly them and their attitude (we are no longer in touch) but GF wasn't helping.

The big thing to remember, as many pp have said, is that the baby hasn't read the book. With Dd1 then, and later with ds and dd2, we had a loose routine, quite a tight routine over going to bed (bath, jammies, supper, story, bed) at whatever time suited and were as relaxed as possible. They're 20, 18 & 16 now and it seems to have helped them to be fairly well balanced!! :)

I did a strict routine at night from day one. Bath, story (made up when teeny tiny), feed then down when drowsy but not quite asleep, lights out and me gone. Takes a while for them to get it, but I never let them cry for more than a couple minutes. I would just go back in, a little soothing stroke then out again. After about three months both were sleeping from 7.30ish, sleepy feed at 11 then up any time after 6.
During the day was much looser as I wanted to go out but was just aware that at x hour baby probably needed to sleep, so if out just made them snug in the pram. I certainly didn't drag the baby up to its room for a total blackout nap as she dictated. However her advice to wake them after a certain amount of time I did follow. I didn't let them sleep in in the morning either - though they rarely tried to!

the EASY routine (eat, activity, sleep)

My friend told me about this when mine were a little older. The key to it is that often you are told that you feed a baby and then they sleep. This book does it the other way round, so a well rested baby wakes, up, then feeds and is then ready to play. Then when they are tried they fall asleep, without being fed to sleep.

Very interesting and I wish I had known about it when mine were small.

We tried that! But the exact problem was that milk makes a baby sleepy so you're constantly battling their natural urges. We gave up and decided eat/sleep/wake and play worked better!

Being able to feed to sleep ended up being a gift when they wouldn't settle/were ill!

I liked GF because it meant that I felt I was always one step ahead of my baby’s needs. She never cried for a feed or got overtired, in fact, she rarely cried. My evenings were my own. Everything was so predictable and really helped my mental health as I felt in control. We followed it but with some flexibility, although I was strict about the timing of feeds. It naturally suited DD, I think we were lucky.

I read Ginas Ford Toileting training advice. Within three weeks, my nonverbal 3 year old son was independently using the toilet.

I would be interested to know whether people with babies who refuse to be put down & are waking several times a night have tried a routine. I'm baffled as to why not - surely nobody wants broken sleep for months on end?
Ah, no, those of us with bad sleepers haven't tried a routine, no. Nor have we attempted blackout blinds, white noise, night weaning, shhh-pat, porridge before bed, lavender in the bath... none of that. We actually prefer the night wakings and bust out the disco lights and vuvuzela at 2am to ensure they continue. HTH!

I didn’t follow it to the letter but there was some good advice in there - not keeping babies up longer than 2 hours and regular naps. It really helped me when I had two babies close together and I could get them to nap at the same time and just have a couple of hours to myself in the middle of the day.
If you follow it to the letter it is restrictive and could drive you crazy but if you take the principles of regular feeds and regular naps in a darkened room when possible (my youngest often slept in the car) then it definitely has some benefits

Gina Ford really didn’t work for us. Not only did it not work, but it made me utterly miserable and feel like a failure, and it made DD hugely overtired.

The way it is written is appalling IMO. There is no advice for what to do if you follow her routines and the baby does not sleep for 2 hours like she says it will. The message is, if the baby doesn’t do what she predicts, it’s because you didn’t follow her advice strictly enough.

There is no acknowledgement of any kind of feeding issues or health issues, other than under supply. Her BF advice is appalling.

Basically, if you have a baby who GF works for, they are probably a naturally good sleeper and would be a good sleeper whatever routine or style of parenting you follow. If you have a naturally bad sleeper (due to eg feeding issues or anything else) then GF will make you utterly miserable.

What I should have done is focused on the total amount of sleep a small baby needs (which is huge) and got my baby to sleep that amount, using whatever methods and timing worked for my baby.

burritofan indeed.

nighttime parenting by dr. william sears was much more in line with how I wanted to response to my child

To be honest, you can read as many books as you lie, your baby hasn't read them so doesnt know its expected to fit in with anything.

I would suggest going with the flow at first (have you read about the 4th trimester?) And find your own little routine.

We did this with ds and he happily weaned himself onto self settling to sleep before 1, he dropped bottles on his own accord and though naps were short for a few months he gradually increased them himself.

He is now nearly 2 and we have a pretty good routine.

What I will say is to focus more on "cues". For example ds has always had a bath before bed so now he knows that thats the start if bedtime.

My experience was -

Having read the book before dd was born, I think it contributed to post natal depression for me because it just didn’t go as I expected and I couldn’t work out why. Dd1 was a very colicky and crying newborn. Plus breastfeeding did not go well.

But then from about 8 weeks the rough structure of the day did start working for her. We were formula feeding by then and by 10 weeks I think she was going from a last feed at about 11 to 5.30/6 in the morning which I was soon able to spin out til 7am.

It made sense to me and worked for us, her basic principle of limiting the morning nap and having a main long one after lunch.
I then used that basic principle with my subsequent children but didn’t both trying to implement much structure before 8 weeks ish and didn’t stress about it, just had the routine in my mind as something to move baby towards if they allowed themselves to be!

I also had much more cuddles with 2 & 3 than my first which helped with PND and E.g. did not stress about them falling asleep on me.

So a mixed bag! But I think her underlying basic structure of the day is good, but the tone can make it feel like it’s your fault if it doesn’t work and I think it’s unrealistic for most babies for the first 6-12 weeks especially if breastfeeding.

I did it with DC1. He was my first experience of a baby (I was the youngest in my family and the first in my socail circle to have DC)
I tried doing it to the letter. At first it was helpful to have something to go off. But DC cried for hours and hours! Now looking back he was hungry (BF) but at the time I was watching the clock not the signs he was giving me.
With my other DC I followed my instincts more but still had the basis of a routine. Everyone was happier all around.

I didn't even think about it but the parents I knew that did always seemed very on edge.
I found her ideas on breast feeding twins highly amusing and very naive.

Hopeless. DD1 was a very big baby and would bf for hours. Even though she was also being bottle fed too. I felt like a useless mother and after 3 weeks ceremoniously pulled them apart. I might even have burnt them.

Her potty training book was brilliant though. Dd1 trained in 1 week aged 2. Dd2 took about a month but she was only 20 months old.

I remember that showing OH the GF schedules before baby came was quite useful in discussing what life might be like with a baby. Then we talked about how we'd split the work etc which was really helpful. Could do this with any book tho

I don't understand why anyone would think GF is a magic formula and get outraged/bewildered/ want their money back if it doesn't work. Surely everyone knows there are no guarantees about being a parent.

@converseandjeans

I would be interested to know whether people with babies who refuse to be put down & are waking several times a night have tried a routine. I'm baffled as to why not - surely nobody wants broken sleep for months on end?

Oh yes. I specifically requested months of broken sleep when I ordered my babies.

I don't have strong opinions on GF but what I will say is that she has absolutely no idea about establishing breastfeeding. If it is important to you to breastfeed then I would strongly recommend that you only follow her feeding advice once your supply is well-established.