Those who followed Gina Fords advice what was your experience?

[Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy]

Hi,

I’m a FTM due in two weeks and have read two of Gina Fords books. I like routine and liked the way she offered a clear sleep routine to aim for. However I’m now starting to swing the other way and think more “ go with the flow”. I’m not sure if the strict routines will create more or less stress! What’s your experience?

I have no issue with GF and I love a routine, but my baby just wouldn't have fit into it as a newborn. You just need to meet your baby first and then make a decision about what would work for you.

She actually ended up getting into her own routine and by 9 months was fairly close to a GF routine anyway.

parents of good sleepers often credit it with something they've done... In my experience some kids are 'good' sleepers and some aren't

I agree with this.

Some kids need firm routine and some don’t as much, GF was helpful with our first and useless with the second. It’s hard to keep a strict routine for subsequent children as you are on the other one’s schedule imo.

I don't think you can have a schedule with a newborn really

I like the principles in the book. People think she is very bossy to mums because she puts a time slot in for you to have tea & toast. In reality she is trying to make sure you eat and drink something.

When you have a small baby, it is so easy to get sucked into a trap of all naps being on you and cluster feeding for hours and hours on end. You might love it or you might end up exhausted and depleted and thoroughly miserable.

The GF book, little ones sleep program, Tracey Hogg etc all try and put a routine in place to make sure your baby has adequate rest and so do you.

I used it and loved it. For me I didn't follow it to the letter and didn't find it restrictive because I made it work for me. My DS was happy to sleep in his pram, cot or his bouncy chair thing and he slept through the night from 7 weeks (7-10 and then 10.30/11-6.30).

I know she is scorned in here and everyone always views her as the devil incarnate but to be honest, those of my friends who didn't follow this and were purely baby led had huge problems when no.2 came along and they didn't have any kind of bed time routine. I used this as both my sisters did and we all had good sleepers. So maybe it is just luck but I would always use it again.

Gina Ford didn't work for me. I couldn't even get the hang of her breast feeding routine.

SIL loved it though.

I took parts from it and adapted it to us. I do think it has a lot to do with your baby - however once I did a few weeks of 3 hourly eat, sleep, play routine and added swaddle suits for naps and nighttime sleep - plus a solid bath, bottle, book bedtime routine my lo started sleeping through the night. This was around 6 weeks old.

The 3 hour thing is to ensure baby gets their food needed in daylight hours. It's the only way you can fit it all in. I could never have started this routine before 4 weeks as the main struggle was trying to get baby to take full feeds. Once they are, any routine becomes a lot easier.

She's 5 months old now and the only routine that I'm strict on is bedtime at 6.30pm. She naps whenever and wherever she wants during the day - I follow her cues for tiredness. I feed her when she's hungry (around every four hours)
We tried dream feeds around 10pm but I found she still woke for her feed in the middle of the night anyway so stopped giving them. Yes she gets me up at 6.30am but I'm honestly not bothered - I would far rather prefer a few hours in the evening to myself, not trying to entertain a fussy baby.

Like I said, I do think it has an awful lot to do with your babies personality.

It's far to rigid in the early days but I found it useful from about two months - ignore the feed routines if you're breastfeeding as they're not realistic but it was good for naps - my babies were all quite 'clingy' and 'demanding' (don't like those words but I didn't have easy babies put it that way!) and they were still quite predictable in terms of naps- and would follow gf nap routine . I didn't mind the restrictions in terms of having to be at home at certain times - it's worth it to get a couple of hours when the baby's asleep in the cot - my friends who didn't keep to nap routines would have tired grumpy babies that they'd end up having to drive round to get to nap or they'd fall asleep to close to bedtime etc
The baby whisperer is really good too especially about not over stimulating babies

I'm rally against anything that forces mums to go against their instincts.

Sure look into what has worked for other people and get some inspiration.

But no one has had your baby before. And you will feel awful if you know your baby wants cuddled/fed but you're denying them based on a book.

You can't spoil a baby and those early days are over fast.

Follow your babies queues and let them fit nicely into your (new) life.

Sounds like you've got lots of outdoor work to do, so I'd research into good baby carriers, see if you can fit in your horse/dog walk after they've had a feed and then baby can have a lovely nap in the carrier in the fresh air each day.

I didn't follow her plan to the letter but had routines from the day we left hospital. I love routines, I loved that a routine gave me time for other things. I loved knowing the baby would be asleep when I did the school run, that I wouldn't be rushing a feed or having a screaming baby when I wanted to chat to my older child/children who had just got home.
I liked that I got plenty of sleep as well, mine only woke once in the night for six weeks and then slept through.
I would wait and see how you get on though don't make any firm plans until the baby is here.

My dd is 14yo now but I can still remember the relief I felt when I started to follow GF routine. My dd was much happier, she slept and fed better and I felt more confident in what I was doing.

I know she's controversial but for me it transformed the first baby year from miserable and stressful to calm and settled.

FWIW you don't have to follow it to the letter and once you've established nap times, the nap times can be in the buggy when you're out and about.

I hate that people are suggesting burning her books, awful.

I read it and felt like it was too pressurised. I didnt want to have failed by 10am! I am not great at routines and my DD was a rubbish sleeper. DS was by contrast a dream. I'm not convinced that a one size fits all structure is the answer, although I know mums who swear by it.

The problem with everyone telling you to ‘read baby’s cues’ is that if you struggle with this you’ll feel completely lost. That was me. I started off trying to follow baby’s lead and ended up in hysterics on several occasions, knackered and completely unable to decode what my baby needed - more milk, help to get to sleep, stimulation??! I was tying myself in knots trying to ‘read’ her. So then I read GF and it really helped me to focus things a bit. I don’t use the timings as my baby (now 11 weeks) can’t stay awake for much longer than an hour and a quarter, but I do aim to put her down in her bed in the living room (sleepy but awake) for shorter morning and afternoon naps and then a longer lunchtime nap. The other stuff we kind of keep in mind but haven’t really cracked it yet. She sleeps reliably from about 10:30pm-3:30am and then 3:30am-7:30am which I’m ok with at the moment, hoping the night feed will gradually disappear? I don’t get why people get so fuming with GF, had all these expectations of some horrible regime and didn’t really get what the fuss was about when I read it, although not making eye contact while baby is in the bath is a bit of a silly one!

I found it very useful, I didn't follow it to the letter but the 7pm bedtime (from Day 1 at home) and 7am 'wake up' fitted in well with our home life. But maybe I was just lucky in that my DS would happily be in his cot at 7pm and self settled immediately in his own room.

The morning/afternoon naps worked well for my lifestyle at the time - I would take him for a long walk in the pram for his morning nap & I was happy to have a nap myself during his afternoon nap. But I didn't have a particularly busy lifestyle or a dog & horse to look after as well. If he needed to miss the odd nap because of other activities it never seemed to matter & he still went to bed at 7pm.

But all children are different, I never had another child (by choice) so I can't really say if it was the GF routine or not. .

I was given the GF book as a gift before baby arrived. Put it on shelf and forgot I had it. Found it when baby was about 9 months old. Started to read it and found it equally horrifying and hilarious. It definitely wouldn't have worked for me. But each to their own. Whatever works for you. Just don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work.

Following as I'm expecting my first and someone has given us a gf book. Interesting to read the experiences of those who have tried it, not just the views of those who hate her on principle.

Okay, well I followed my instincts with my first baby and most things were extremely hard, I had no idea what I was doing despite reading everything going. I read GF and I found her routine structure helpful (not the leaving the baby to cry part, I tried that once and never ever again!!!) I found I was really struggling to cope without structure to my day, so implementing her structure along with attached parenting worked for me. I spent all day with my dd but found sleeping beside her impossible as I could not 'switch off' so we moved her to her own room at around one years old and that worked well.

My second baby I did the same. Got into a very good routine, but not too strict ie exact feeding times etc - but a relaxed version of GF, a routine and we all really benefitted from this. Really we did. I was very careful to ensure that we did it kindly, but my baby slept extremely well, and I could plan and organise my life properly with another child to look after as well.

I was often considered to be a very together parent, and that was largely because I knew what I was doing each day, and could think clearly.

Had I not introduced the routine, and just did things spontaneously, we would have all suffered. So it has its place!

I don't believe in ever leaving babies to cry though.

It did bring a sense of calm.

I found other books very helpful too.

My baby slept and found her own routine. No need for crazy GF who knows nothing about having babies at all. All children are different and I think some with naturally fit into a GF way of doing things, just because they are ‘easy’ and some babies will not thrive on it at all. The thing I didn’t realise when I was pregnant is that they will do what they want to do, trying to bend a babies will into fitting in a very rigid routine when they don’t want to do that will just cause stress, anxiety and worry for you all. Personally I am amazed people are still reading her books, it’s a very old fashioned nannying type of schedule and there’s so much more research now about the fourth trimester and how important it is...

Absolute bulls**t. Would only buy her books to use as fire wood.

OP please bear in mind that the author has not had a baby.
I really think anyone publishing a parenting book should actually be a parent. As in my experience it really changes you as a person.
And bf does not work following a strict routine.
Follow your instincts and your lovely little baby X

My parents (5 kids) used to say ‘babies can’t read the book’ (after my eldest sibling was born and they tried that route) and that each baby has its own personality and traits so you just can’t follow a set of rules.

Routine is great when they are active and need to nap/sleep at night but a small baby sleeps most of the time anyway.

Thanks everyone that’s all really helpful.
@Gutterton I am reading that book right now actually which is probably why I’m having doubts about the GF routines! I would say that book is the polar opposite.

I think as many of you have suggested im going to aim to do the 7-7 day but within that go with my baby and my instincts and not stress about sticking to times

A very sensible approach OP. However, if your baby is colicky and spends the evenings screaming, please don't be disappointed. You will achieve the 7pm bedtime eventually, but probably not in the first 12 weeks.

GF doesn't mention the 'fourth trimester' but it makes a lot of sense to me.