November 2020 babies - thread 7!

[wannabebump]

Another thread for us all x

@MrsR87 I was told my PAPP-A was low too but I feel a bit forgotten about as I had to chase my results for combined screening myself, and that’s when I saw PAPP-a was low. When I called the midwife, she actually had no clue that it was low and she actually asked me to call the antenatal clinic back myself. Makes me worry a bit, communication has been poor, she still doesn’t have my results to this day and my 16 week over the phone appointment is on Tuesday. Still haven’t been booked in for any extra growth scans.

Also, I actually didn’t know that the midwife I’ve been calling is actually a community midwife. No idea who my allocated midwife is and still haven’t seen one face to face , starting to think I probably won’t

@Hancock2020 could be a UTI? Is your wee cloudy or getting any pain on the side near your hips? They are common in pregnancy

Any other FTMs struggling a bit emotionally with the changes to their bodies? l've always has a really slim waist but it's totally disappeared with the growing bump and I just feel fat and horrible. I feel really daft for feeling so down about it as I know I'm having a baby and it's wonderful but I can't help it.

@MoreGinPlease2020 yes totally with you. Always been slim and proud of my flat stomach. Now I look sideways in the mirror and just feel a bit fat. Think I just look thicker sideways. Really strange and my husband keeps commenting (in a nice way) that he's not used to seeing me like this. Obviously very grateful that I'm pregnant and looking forward to actually getting a proper bump!
He's really reassuring me that he'll give me lots of time to let me get myself back in shape post natal which is really important to me. Hope you feel better soon!

Is anyone else struggling with feeling horrifically full all the time? It takes me 2 hours to eat dinner - keep having to leave it aside and come back to it. I went for a walk after lunch yesterday and my insides feel so pressured it hurts to jiggle about just by walking. I was in the bath yesterday and I felt this ridge in my belly area very high up, above that was my stomach and below was everything else. Feels so condensed. I’m actually looking forward to properly popping but no idea when that would happen, it doesn’t look like I have enough skin for it yet....

Thanks @MillieFTM. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone. I think my partner is struggling a bit with it too, although he looked thoroughly upset this morning when I said he was making me feel worse, so I don't think he realised (he's not said anything, it's just the way he looks at my stomach). I've got 6 months to get back into shape to fit into my wedding dress, so I'm happy that I'll get there, it's just a shock as the mums I know always seemed delighted with their shape while I feel very low about it. Hoping that'll change as it starts to feel more real...

I hated being pregnant the first time and really struggled with the changing shape of my stomach, especially the first few months when you aren't noticeably pregnant and just like like you have gained a few pounds. It did surprisingly get easier when it was more noticeably a baby bump and I could feel the baby moving around. Feeling similar this time around but also absolutely hate anybody touching me, atall. Even DC1 saying they want to 'kiss the baby' makes me cringe inside. I let them obviously so they feel involved but it's making things really difficult with DH when he wants to get close and I can't bare it. He's starting to feel very rejected and there's nothing I can do to stop it

I feel weird when people try look at my belly because i don’t really have any bump yet. Just bloat. I have been having bad cramps this week. All checked out ok, so hopefully this means I’ll be showing a proper bump soon

@MillieFTM @MoreGinPlease2020 I struggled with this on DC1. I was always a size 8 and it was one of the few things I liked about my body. I did quite a lot of reading about what was going on inside my body in order to get my head around the changes. I also read or listened to podcasts from women like giovanna fletcher who talk about being proud of what your body is doing because it really is miraculous. I sort of slowly trained my mind to see my body as something I was proud of for being big rather than small, if that makes sense. I was lucky that I snapped back into my jeans quite quickly after birth but on this second one I am a lot more positive about getting fat. My body is growing a human being. I try to see the wobbly bits as sort of badges of pride. What your body is doing is amazing. Try to be kind to yourself.

Also, if any DH makes comment about you needing to get back into shape after, you tell him to grow a human the size of a watermelon and push it out of his d**k and then he earns the right to comment. You are giving him the greatest gift anyone can give someone. He may start seeing the wobbly bits as something to love you for too.

@MoreGinPlease2020 I'm struggling with this a bit too. I lost a good bit of weight about 4 years ago using weight watchers to get to a size I felt happy and content with. And it's gone! I have to keep reminding myself that it's not bad food that's doing this! I like think once im 5/6 months with a proper bump and less of a squishy bump, I'll feel better. Yesterday was a bit of a day as I had to say goodbye to a pair of jeans 😬 x

@FudgeFlies
I didn’t find out about the low PAPP-A until yesterday at my 16 weeks appointment. The extra scan isn’t booked in until September. They also said I’m now under consultant led care but I won’t see them for the first time until September. The impression I got is that if it’s going to be a problem, it’s in the third trimester so all your extra things will be then. My midwife was quick to stress though that it’s nothing to worry about it just means my baby might be a bit smaller And that for a lot of women it makes no difference at all. A quick google last night did not put my mind at rest but the information is so conflicting, I’m trying to put my faith in those who are looking after me! Pretty difficult as I’m a natural worrier but I guess I will no more at my 20 week scan. I just hope that shows a good amount of growth since the last one!

To those who are struggling with their weight gain! I know what you mean. I’ve been a size 8 for the past 10 years or so and most of my clothes already don’t fit! However, my bump doesn’t look like a bump yet and I just look like I’ve overindulged during lockdown. I also seem to have put lots of weight on my sides around my hips. My husband says I look cute though that’s all good. I just fed like people are looking at me thinking look at her trying to squeeze into their clothes! I like @SqidgeBum way of looking At it though. I’m not eating any more than I normally do and yet by body is preparing itself. Amazing really!

@seventhrow yes! What is with the fullness?! It’s definitely helpful me not put on much weight though. I get a few bites into something and I’m done. Mostly having snacky meals.

Maybe its because I’m not usually super slim, though not big either (5”2, an in proportion size 12) but I’m feeling fine about my slowly rounding belly. It’s doing what it’s meant to be doing! I probably do just look a bit fatter at the moment but that’s ok too, even if it was fat there’s worse things! I’ve definitely put on a few pounds but my scales are unreliable so not sure if it’s 4 or 6! I’m not too worried, not only am I pregnant I’ve also been locked down in a global pandemic, it’s weird times. My diet is pretty good and I know I can lose weight next year, but my husband loves my curves, so do I, and I’m not going to stress about my body growing when I planned for that to happen!

Please ladies try to be kind to yourselves, you’re growing a human, it’s beautiful. We have such idealised views of what a woman should look like and it’s not helpful. Try to just be healthy and gentle with yourselves.

I'm loving the growth. But I've been lucky in that all of mine seems to be right at the front. So I've quite an obvious bump. Despite this I'm still struggling to believe there's a tiny human in there. I almost want it to get bigger quicker so I can start believing it! 😂

There are 2 times of day where I'm disappointed with my bump size, first thing in the morning because my muscles are tense and holding baby in so my bump looks small, and when I lie down because it goes smaller. So in the evening when I'm stood up I love my bump so much.
But we have to think of our bodies not as getting fat, but as an amazing thing that can stretch and grow a baby, big bumps will come, and so to will our children 🥰

I definitely don’t have an obvious bump yet, but I do have a bit of padding there so it’s unsurprising. The lower part had hardened and rounded and I feel a bit bumpy but it’s also a bit bloaty looking!

I am getting a lot of lower back discomfort, it’s clearly doing something in there.

What counts as a low PAPP-A reading? Did it say in the letter clearly that it was low?

Just got my furlough pay and it's less than half of what I would normally get. More than half will go on rent and bills. I've had to cancel my standing orders to my savings account, and now I'm beyond stressed that I will have hardly any savings by the time I go on maternity leave, and my job isn't one I can go back to after having a baby so basically screwed with finances now.

@Hancock2020 I'm the exact same with the morning and lying down!! I get paranoid thinking "is it shrinking" 😂 There's a part of me that can't wait for a huge bump but I know that will get tiring pretty fast. Already getting lower back pain and my bump is small!

@Addler double check your furlough has been calculated correctly and query it if need be. Your HR/Payroll department should provide advice on how it is calculated.

My and DH are both furloughed and both our jobs are on a shaky peg, so sending you a virtual handhold - very similar boats x

@wannabebump I know I'm still more fortunate than others who have lost their jobs completely. I thinks it's that I know I won't be able to earn anywhere near the sort of money I'm on now after I have the baby so feel this huge pressure to save as much as I can while on this salary. But the pay for March-June means I can't save anything.

Rant over, stop wallowing in self pity 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Addler it's not self pity, it's just you're being realistic. Everyone always says it'll work out... i'm a great believer in that. X

@MillieFTM I think it’s below 0.4 but I could be wrong? Mine is very low so I’m on low dose aspirin.

@AnxiousLady1 @Hancock2020 I'm the same! Love my bump in the evening 🥰 my neighbour even commented on it yesterday too.

My screening letter didn't mention my papp-A results! I've never heard of it before but so many women on this thread seem to have a low one!