Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

@stairgates we were due on 7th Aug with our little boy we lost in the new year so we'd have been due at a similar time

Hi @AliasGrape I can't really remember when things started easing with the boys but I'm sure it was pretty early at around 10 weeks. But yeah I'm deffo still a zombie at 13 with this one - maybe it's being older... I'm also far less mobile because of the bleeds and I always get shattered if I don't do anything.

Hi @AliasGrape

So nuts they want to induce everyone. I was induced with DS ten years ago when he went two weeks overdue. I kind of just get on with whatever was needed but the drip was really really intense.

The contractions just start at where they normally would towards the end but every min or so. They do other things before the drip like sweeps and the hormone pill a few times and break your waters etc.

I am NOT a shining example of a good induction though as despite 12 hours at it and 8 on the drip, I went from 1cm dilated to 0.5cm! It just didn't work. Ds was actually in fetal distress from very very early in the process. Heart rate kept plummeting. No clue why they let me keep going for 12 hours! I honestly think tk this day my body and he knew if we delivered naturally he would have died (was very wrapped in the chord.

There was zero argument of an elective section this time.

You would think they would advise induction may be necessary but take it on a case by case basis at the time.

I am sure at that stage and for people who aren't weirdos like me labour would progress pretty fast. It was only bad for how long the drip was tbh.

I am happy with them booking a section a little earlier. By 2 weeks overdue I was climbing the walls!

That being said, research, stick to your guns. A huge part of their decision will be based on their needs. Stand firm.

I had a really old male consultant last time and he was horrible. Have a woman this time and she was ok if a bit unfriendly and matter of fact but guess that goes with the territory. Got fed up her repeating your age, your weight every few mins.

Midwives I have all found lovely. X

@Sheera1

Definitely yes to them repeating your age and weight every few minutes. I definitely feel like an unexploded bomb the way they go on about my ‘risk factors’. My DH keeps saying ‘you’re perfectly healthy and you’ve had a healthy pregnancy so far, I don’t understand why they’re treating you like some kind of medical anomaly’. To be fair, my community midwife is lovely and has never even mentioned my age, she’s the one who told me they can’t do anything I don’t want and don’t consent to.

I’ve heard quite a few induction horror stories and am still a bit unclear on the risks vs benefits - I understand there’s a risk of my placenta deteriorating if left to go over, but I need to be a bit clearer on how big that risk actually is and weigh it up against increased risks of interventions/ needing a c-section with induction.

I’m not actually against an induction, any interventions or indeed a section if it turns out to be best for the baby, I just bristle at the idea I have to have it because I turned 40 a few months back, like all of a sudden I’m a problem because of that. I desperately wanted to be a younger mum really, but life and ttc didn’t work out that way, so probably I’m over sensitive about it!

Load soft us have babies older now. People are not settling till they are older and meeting life partners later and focusing on careers and also it isn't always that blooming easy to fall pregnant.

I went for an ultrasound on my boob when I was 5 weeks and I felt a bit self-conscious about being pregnant and the lady was really nice and said "you are 41, that is nothing, if you were 51 then we would be more cautious".

I did feel quite judged with the consultant but yes might be a bit sensitive over here and she was probably just being factual and clinical like a lot of doctors are.

My midwife seems lovely though only spoken to her over the phone and texted. She texted to book in a call for 16 weeks and asked how I was. I said still 🤢 and she said remember to just eat what you need to as it is all survival.

I am like you that whatever happens needs to happen, but also don't want forced down an unnecessary path.

I've been told that 40 isn't old by one of my sonographers and by the PA of the consultant who did our Harmony. I've not spoken to my obstetrician yet though so who knows if they will make me feel old!

I've just realised I am 41 in 3 weeks...

Am I the oldest on this thread? 😨 However, I do have a friend who was 48 when she had her last - naturally conceived too!!

To those feeling rough; mine started at 6 weeks, got worse at 14 weeks and although it improved massively at 21 weeks, I'm still being sick 50% of mornings at 26 weeks. It's been way worse than when I had my twins; with them it stopped at 18 weeks and I was rarely actually sick. This time I've been sick up to 6 times a day every day.

Oh Frazzle thats sad :( I didnt realise it was so recent, it makes every milestone all the more precious xx

Only how old are you, Im 43 :)

Duffered just checked back through and found your scan pic I love guessing on nub pics! Are you having a little girl? :) What are your twins 9you dont have to say :)), I always wanted twins but I think the physical reality of a twin pregnancy would have wiped me out!

Meant to brackets not 9!

Stairgates - it's a girl. Twins are one of each.

@stairgates yeah the most recent one we lost on 3rd Jan. We'd tried for over a year for that one, so we were fortunate to get preg so quickly afterwards even though this one wasn't planned as I didn't want to go through another loss!
Other three were 2 in 2016 and one in 2018

Wonder what the deleted post was? They delete ageist posts so maybe someone came on and said we are all ancient lol. 😂😀❤

@Sheera1 oh I saw it - it was an advertising post. Trying to sell hypnobirthing I think.

I wondered that too! Thanks onlyreading

Frazzle I’m very sorry for your losses.

Just checking in.. I'm 44 (45 in 6 weeks) and 8 weeks pregnant. Absolutely wiped out with tiredness. And can't seem to focus my mind on getting to grips with it. Every time I try to think about whats coming I feel rising panic and have to think happy thoughts about baby kittens 🥺

Hello everyone, I've been reading this thread for a while and just got to the end now so can comment.
I'm 40, 6 weeks pregnant. I have a 20 year old and a 2 year old. In the last year I've also lost a daughter at 20 weeks and another miscarriage at 7 weeks, so it's been traumatic. No chance of relaxing or glowing though this pregnancy.

I'm on another thread for women pregnant after loss and they do a list of who's who which people copy and paste and add their own details to just so we can all keep up with everyone's details. Not sure if that's something people would find useful on here? I don't want to join and then boss everyone around.

@footprintsintheslow that sounds a great idea. Happy if anyone wants to set it up. Will def help my brain.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Thst sounds so tough. There are a few of us on here who I think will be worrying everyday too so you are in welcome company.

I am freaking out tonight as I don't feel pregnant tonight! 🙈 I am 14 weeks and had an mmc before at 12 weeks and panicking all the time but had really strong symptoms and generally 🤢 and tired. I have a massive sleep this afternoon which I haven't done in week and feel actually normal tonight, but if course that has set me off worrying something has changed.

Going to be a long road. I have a 10 yr old and I honestly think I have forgotten what having a baby is like and can't remember what to do! Will be like a first time mum again. Does it come back quite quickly?

@onlyreadingneverposting8 thank you. So pleased you so the post as I was so curious.

Hope everyone is well tonight. X

Welcome Aunt Lucy and footprints :) Congratulations on your pregnancies :) I think a list that gets updted every now and then would be good, we can keep up with everybodies milestones :)

Hi all. I’m 38 - approaching 39! I’m nearly 32 weeks pregnant with my 5th baby. Got a 7 year age gap between my youngest and baby and a 17 year age gap between my eldest and baby.

@footprintsintheslow 6 weeks due: 16/01/21
@stairgates
@Sheera1

Hello everyone!
Can I join in?! 😄
I'm 45 and 21 weeks pregnant with my second, a little boy. Had my little girl when I was 40.😊
Pregnancy has gone smoothly so far apart from ongoing nausea but it's a lot better than it was thankfully.
I've been told I'll be induced at 39 weeks which I'm starting to get anxious about.
My first labour was 30 hours, she ended up getting stuck so I was given an epidural and ended up in theatre with an episiotomy and high forceps delivery. They were preparing to have to resuscitate her when she was delivered but thankfully all was ok.
It took me quite a while to physically recover fully so just the last few days I've been reading up on elective sections and now I'm really torn what to do for the best!!
So lovely to read about all your pregnancies tho! 😊

Hi @Ferrylass - yay I'm not the oldest now! 🤣 (I'm 44) Jealous you're further ahead than me though!

@Sheera1 sounds like we're peas in a pod! I had a better day yesterday after 2 horrendous days. Was still sick in the morning but evening I didn't feel as sick....of course that had me worrying just like you! Have been sick this morning though so feeling a bit calmer again!

Anyone eating weird thing yet? I ate salt and vinegar hoola hoop sandwiches yesterday...my DH was like "ewww what are you doing??!! But my goodness they were good! And the salt and vinegar definitely took some nausea off!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I had two packets of salt and vinegar crisps last night to stop nausea! In previous pregnancies I've only felt sick in the mornings and now it only comes on at 3 in the afternoon. I've had all girls so far so I wonder if this is a boy?