Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

@Sheera1 thanks you missus x

How are you feeling this morning @Clarkel1? Are the pains any better? I am so glad you saw a healthy baby yesterday.

I have my follow up scan this afternoon. Last week they saw a tiny heartbeat but it was very small for dates so today is to check it’s growing. I am worried as I only had sex once and a positive 12 days later so my dates can’t be out. I also have so few symptoms compared to previous pregnancies. But what will be will be.

I was coming on to ask the same thing as you Ancient! @Clarkel1 I hope you're a bit more comfortable this morning. Did you sleep okay?

@AncientandPregnant I was thinking of you and remembered you have your scan today. What time is it?

@frazzlerock thanks for remembering. It’s not til 4.30pm so I have a while to distract myself. It’s at a clinic in London that I went to with my other three pregnancies when I had high nuchal readings and they have always been great so I am comforted by that.

Oh @AncientandPregnant I hate those late ones. Have you got enough to do to distract yourself? Is it on Harley St? i went to a clinic there for our Harmony and they were amazing.

Yes! Was it the FMC?

@Clarkel1 hope you're ok today and things have settled down again.
@AncientandPregnant hope everything goes well for you today!

In other news 3 days out of 4 I haven't been physically sick!! But I still feel horrid a lot of the time and doing one household job exhausts me.
I've gone off all food but still have to force stuff down me to ward off the nausea and I'm still gaining weight. I'm very short (5'1.5") I think I'll be a weeble soon! 😂 I have been bigger with the girls due to being more nauseous and the 3 of them were only 5lb9, 7lb6 and 6lb10!!
Talking of which - has anyone bought maternity clothes yet?? And if so where from? I got rid of literally anything baby related including all my maternity clothes, which had seen me through several pregnancies. I don't do leggings either pregnant or not. Currently alternating between 2 pairs of joggers that still fit and very light weight harems, which have a very long elasticated waist that comes up over my bump - they're great at the moment but only come in one size and won't be warm enough for Autumn. Tops I've never really bothered with maternity ones - being short I've been able to wear normal ones just a size or two bigger. I am a sahm so don't have to worry about work clothes.

@AncientandPregnant good luck today, thinking of you x

@Liese27 I wanted to check in with you too, how are you doing? Am I right in thinking you have a follow up scan today also?

@onlyreadingneverposting8 Sorry you’re feeling rubbish still! I managed without maternity clothes till about 25 weeks or so. I’m an 18 usually though and have plenty of ‘fat’ clothes, elasticated waists and loose things that I could wear. Plus lockdown and I stopped working (supply teacher) so no particular need to look smart! Whilst I was still in work I did get a couple of waistband expanders for work trousers. I’m still wearing a few non maternity bits but mainly only a couple of stretchy maxi skirts where I can pull the waist up above my bump and, when it’s not pissing down with rain like it is today, some lose fitting summer dresses. I do do leggings though (oh boy do I) so that’s my main maternity wardrobe at the moment, have a couple of pairs of maternity leggings and some loose tops from Asda. A friend passed on a pile of stuff including jeans, a couple of smarter dresses and a pencil type skirt but I’ve had zero call to wear them.

I’ve found bras the hardest. I can’t bear anything underwired at the moment, I keep buying bralet type things but I’ve got big boobs and they’re only getting bigger so it’s hard to find any that fit (even shops that do an XL version tend to come up too small) and I know I need more support really but as I’m not going out much I’m not too worried. I’ve bought a couple of nursing bras but bought them too early so they’re already too small now. I tend to start the day with some kind of bra/bralet on but find it’s making me feel sick and constricted after a while and I have to take it off and let it all hang out. I have always found bras supremely uncomfortable, even when not pregnant.

@AncientandPregnant good luck for today hope it all goes well, I was in agony though the night I'm not kidding full on like contraction cramps I haven't got up out of bed yet but it seems to have died down. I have no idea why I am in the pain I am I don't know if a heamatoma or fibroid would cause this. The bleeding seems to have stopped though. I just know I'm in for a rough ride and lots of worrying with this baby 🙈 and I've not even had my screening scan done yet so that'll be another worry my daughters was high risk so I'm hoping this baby isn't. Hope everyone ok today and again thank you all for thinking of me x

Good luck today @AncientandPregnant we'll be thinking of you.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 how about pinafore dresses or just stretchy dresses? I think Dorothy Perkins do a good selection of stretchy wrap dresses that I know I could use for breast feeding afterwards.

@AliasGrape I struggling with bras too. I'm still breastfeeding my two year old but even my giant bras for that make me feel constructed and I just feel like I can't breath. I go without most of the time at home now.

No @AncientandPregnant but I have heard of them and we considered them when looking for Harmony tests. We went to Mr Braithwaite's Clinic who was recommended to us by friends who used him for their IVF. I so hope it all goes well for you. I'm really rooting for your little one xx

@onlyreadingneverposting8 bought maternity clothes yet? haha I've been in them for about 8 weeks! I actually ws given a massive box load by a local friend who has similar taste in clothes to me so I'm getting a lot of use out of those. I also bought 3 pairs of jeans from Topshop which I really like. They were the over bump Jamie and Joni ones. Really comfy. I also bought some spotty and stripey t-shirts from New Look which I also really like. All bought online of course. I did try one of my normal t-shirts on the other day and it rides up over my bump and shows off the over bump material of my jeans so I think normal clothes are deffo out now!
Good news re sickness, perhaps this is the start of your 'glowing' stage...?

@AliasGrape Re bras, I bought three of these in the sale during my last pregnancy around Nov/Dec time in three different colours. I have a feeling they have stopped selling them as this one is in clearance but they are soooo comfy and non wired. I'm not big busted though so I'm not sure how they would feel for bigger boobies. www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-partners-willow-non-wired-bra-bitter-chocolate/p4863186
If you can find their full range then I really recommend them.

@Clarkel1 I've had a really rough several first weeks with my haematoma. I have a thread going but its very long so you might not want to bother reading it haha. But if you do it is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3864325-trigger-warning-here-we-go-again
We've only really started to believe this baby might be okay after lots of scans and I' now 17 weeks. I never had any pain with mine, just niggles just before a big bleed. I wonder if your fibroid would cause pain though? I've never had one of those.

Hope things will settle for you @Clarkel1 and hope all goes well during your private scan today. Can they do something for you re heamatoma or fibroid? Can it be somehow treated?

Good luck today @AncientandPregnant. I've been for all my private scans at FMC harley street, including harmony tests, first pregnancy, MMC and now this one, it's a great place.

I haven't bought any maternity clothes and don't think will be buying any, been stuck at home - wft for the past 15w and won't be going back to work, so just wearing my loose low waist lounge pants which i bought on sale from gap and all my big tops. I'm also not a leggings person, luckily my jeans still fit (as also low waist) so they sit nicely under my bump. And bought some nice nursing, soft bras from ebay.

Happy Friday everyone. So glad the week is nearly over, can't wait to shut this computer down.

Has anyone joined NCT? I never did it for the DC and kind of feel like its almost some kind of 'right of passage' that I missed out on before and was going to do this time, especially as I don't know any local expectant mums. Only thing is we've been quoted £280! Seems a huge expense that is probably unnecessary. Just wondering if its worth it?

Hi everyone, this is unfortunately not a happy post (read: TRIGGER warning)

I'm so happy to hear that everyone else is doing well though. I think it is because I've been treated with so much love and kindness here. It really felt like a save place.
Afters starting to spot on Sun and Mon it became progressively worse and I started to miscarry on Wed afternoon. When it all started I was very relieved which may seem odd but I've known for a while that the baby was not going to make it.. last week I was still able to talk to the baby but on Fri last week, after my sister sent love to the baby my heart just dropped to the floor and I knew.
I think it was your comment @Clarkel1 that after one acknowledge the death the miscarriage the process will start. I really did not want to go to hospital and be diagnosed there or have a D&C. I've learned through youtube videos that it does not help the grieve process.
The miscarriage itself was brutal and I suspect I've lost way too much blood. My hubby was supporting me through out and it was special and raw and heartbreaking all at once.
My heart really breaks for every person who has gone through this and some of you in much worse circumstances and multiple times.
Thank you again for all your love and kindness..
I'm going to grieve hard, heal up and try again to go on this wonderful crazy journey. Hopefully I'll be back soon.

Hope all goes well today @AncientandPregnant @Clarkel1 @Liese27

Re maternity clothes - one of the few things I'm liking about lockdown is not having to wear uncomfortable maternity office wear! I've basically been living in joggers and "lounge pants" from uniqlo (one size up then folded under my bump) plus a few maternity t shirts from gap or DPs big t shirts.

Does anyone have recommendations for nursing bras? Need them to be comfy, obviously, but I also like a moulded cup. Don't like the look of the ones with the peep hole for your nipple (freaks me out a bit!) but not sure what the technical term is to get the other sort - any advice appreciated!

@Frazzlerock would those John Lewis ones be any food for feeding do you think? Could you just fold them down? They look great otherwise..

@Liese27 really sorry to hear your news - I know there are several of us here unfortunately very familiar with the mc process. 😔 Take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do. Xxx

Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear that @Liese27 . Its such a hard thing to go through, be really kind to yourself and make sure you take all the the time you need. I'm glad you have your husband to support you

@Frazzlerock I've never been to NCT but when I was expecting my first I attended local NHS parentcraft sessions. They were good in terms of feeding and caring for a newborn but ultimately useless in terms of the birthing process as I got late on set pre eclampsia had a brutal introduction to induction with some less than lovely midwives (fortunately never had such awful ones since), a traumatic labour and emcs!! There was literally no breathing involved!!

@Frazzlerock I did "bump and baby" which is similar. Useful for 1st time parents I think, but probably less so if you already have DC. Everyone says you make loads of friends etc but mine was by zoom so all a bit weird.. We have a group WhatsApp where people share links to offers or recommendations but we've obviously never met up in person..

@Liese27 I am so so very sorry to read this. I'd like to say I know what you're going through as, like so many of us, I have experienced it so many times but we can never quite know exactly how it feels for each person. Just know we are all here if you need any support. Its an absolutely shit time and my heart is breaking for you. Do whatever you need to do to grieve xx

@onlyreadingneverposting8 and @PregnantPorcupine yeah I don't know how worth it it is for those of us who are on subsequent babies. Also none of the birth stuff will apply to me as I'm having a c-section. I think I was just keen on meeting local mums and dads who are due the same time. I'm sure there are other ways to do this though that don't cost £280!

i didnt do the nct classes, couldn't justify the price, it was over £300 in my area.

Try Cake Maternity, Maternity and Nursing Bras, they are similar to Amoralia bras which i used for my first and they were really nice and comfy.

@Liese27 i'm really sorry to hear your news. Take care of yourself x

@Liese27 I’m so very sorry to hear your news. Sending lots of love. So glad you have a lovely and supportive husband taking care of you. Take gentle care.

I also didn’t do nct classes, the one for our due date was fully booked back when I looked it up (and that was when I was about 15 weeks I think) so we’d have had to go in the next one. Then it was over £260. I’m really glad I didn’t as it would have all been online/via zoom type things and the price stayed the same, I didn’t want to pay nearly £300 for some online classes! I’ve found the positive birth company digital pack for £40 to be very informative so I’m happy with that for now.

I do worry how I’m going to meet local mums though and worry I might be a bit isolated. The majority of my friends are either never having children or have older children and are way past the baby stage. My own nephews and nieces are adults with children of their own in some cases, and although I’m super close to them and the kids, even there the youngest is 3 now so no other babies. I’m a little way away from friends and family too, only 20-30 mins drive but just that bit further than makes it easy to just ‘pop in’ if you know what I mean. I was doing aquanatal classes and hoping to start pregnancy yoga and was hoping to meet some other local mums that way but obviously that all went with lockdown. I’m sure it will be fine, I’ll go to some baby groups or something.