Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

@Liese27 I am so very sorry to hear your news... sending you big hugs at this horrible time xx

@Liese27 I am so sorry. But I’m pleased you weren’t diagnosed at the scan because I know you were dreading that. Take care of yourself as you heal.

I did NCT for my first 14 years ago And it was a great way to make local friends. I’m still friends with some of them now I would do it with a subsequent child as in my experience all attendees are first time mums and very focused on issues that you sort of get bored of discussing with later kids. But that’s just my thoughts and the class I went too. I also made more friends at a local NCT baby drop in playgroup so things like that may be good if they have started again.

Liese27. I am so sorry to hear your news. I am glad at least it was at home and ot in hospital. I had an MMC at 12 weeks and like you was surprised how traumatic and physical and painful it actually was. I am glad you have DH support through this. Please take time to grieve and take care of yourself. That is great you are thinking forward for the next time and hope to hear from you on here again when the time is right. Sending lots of hugs. Xxxxx

alias grape and Footprints. i have the same bra issue. I am an H cup normally but have hardly had a bra on during lockdown as when ai take it off it is so painful. let me know if you find some supporting nursing bras for bigger cups. I got quite a good underwired one last time but it was 10 yrs ago and can't remember. it wasn't like a normal underwire so comfy too.

@PregnantPorcupine yes you could, in theory, just fold that bra down as it's soft enough, but you might want a proper one with clips for breastfeeding. I will be getting some of those for feeding

@Frazzlerock thanks for that link, not in my size unfortunately but does look very comfy! I shall keep an eye out.

I have found M&S bralets to be very comfy, fairly supportive considering they’re not proper bras! I still find myself taking them off by mid afternoon but if I had to wear them all day I think I could manage. They do a standard range and a DD+ range. There’s a Facebook group I’m in called ‘can I breastfeed in it uk?’ And these M&S ones come well recommended on there and people apparently manage to feed in them so might be worth a look if you don’t like the nursing bras with the clips @PregnantPorcupine You might like them too @Sheera1 ? They’re on 2 for £18 at the moment I bought 4 including this one www.marksandspencer.com/tropical-print-triangle-bralet/p/clp60439422?color=YELLOWMIX

I also got these H&M nursing vests as recommended on the Facebook group. I’m wearing one today in place of bothering with a bra! They’re fairly comfy and enough support for at home, wouldn’t want to do any jumping around in them though! I thought I’d make do with these for a few weeks after baby arrives then once I’ve worked out if we can actually manage breastfeeding and what size I am when my milk is in, I can buy a proper nursing bra or two (like I say I got some Asda ones but they’re already too small so don’t want to get any now whilst things are still changing).
www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0534164001.html

I LOVE that M&S one @AliasGrape, but I don't need anymore bras, or do I.... Maybe ONE!
I also really like the Hennes nursing vests. I'll be buying a few of those. Thanks for the links!

Not great news from today’s follow up scan. Embryo is not growing and has v v weak heart beat. Really not looking as it should for dates. So it’s clinging on but v v v unlikely to survive. They didn’t say there is no hope at all but did say it wasn’t looking good and it was important to “prepare myself psychologically”. They also want me to wait two whole weeks before going back for another scan.

Really sorry to hear that @AncientandPregnant Take care of yourself xxxx

Oh I’m so sorry to read that @AncientandPregnant . Thinking of you lots. Take gentle care of yourself xxxxx

@Liese27 I'm so sorry to hear your news 💔 make sure you take care of yourself. Sending love and hugs xx

@Frazzlerock we've signed up for NCT classes as our NHS aren't running antenatal classes yet and neither of us would know where to begin when the twins arrive 😂🙈 I'm also hoping that despite it being done via zoom, that we'll still get to meet other couples locally. We did a free taster session with them a few weeks ago and we were really impressed.

@AncientandPregnant Im so sorry to hear your news. I'm keeping everything crossed that bubba is a fighter and pulls through for you ❤️

xx

@AncientandPregnant thinking of you xxx

Thank you everyone for your kindness..
I'm so so sorry to hear @AncientandPregnant. The "being in limbo" was the worst part for me.

Hi all, can I join you all please?

I’m 45 about to turn 46 in ten days. I have 3 kids 14,12,8 and 2 step also aged 15, 11. I thought I was peri menopause, have been with new partner for four years. Gobsmacked and a little bit ashamed to say I’m pregnant 😱 7 +5 due 31/1 but have convinced myself that this won’t happen and I will mc. Partner is supportive but also in shock. I feel very preggers, ginormous boobs and very nauseous. I haven’t told a soul and haven’t booked anything yet as waiting to see if I make it to ten weeks then will book a scan. Lovely to read all your messages ♥️

Oh liese27 I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I can only imagine in part due to my own miscarriage experience so I have some sense of how numb you must feel.

I was given the details of the Miscarriage Association when it happened to me and I really found the info, and in particular the forum, there really useful. Made me feel less lonely. Maybe if / when you feel strong enough you could have a look and see if theres anything there that might resonate with you.

@ancientandpregnant im so sorry to hear your news and I'll keep everything crossed for you. Rest up, take it as easy as you can and see what the next few weeks bring.

Sending lots of love and hugs to you both

Welcome @Celibacydidntwork and congratulations on your pregnancy!! Funny you say ashamed, I also feel a bit embarrassed at 40 even though ours was planned and much wanted. I'm nearly 14 weeks and still havent told my mum

@AncientandPregnant I’m so sorry to hear your story, I had a mc previously (years ago) it’s tough and I hope you are taking it easy x

@Countingblessings 40 is spring chicken, I’m 6 years older than you 😂. My mum asked me if I was pregnant 4 weeks ago for no reason, I didn’t even know myself then

@Celibacydidntwork gentle congratulations and welcome.
It might be worth booking in with a midwife sooner so you can get in the system queue and get a scan appointment for the correct window of time for tests. My hospitals have a gigantic backlog right now. I was booked in at 4 weeks and my "12 week" scan is still ten days late. Your health board may not be like this though. We are in a pandemic hot spot.
Funny how your mam knew before you!?

@AncientandPregnant @Liese27 you are never alone on mumsnet. There are always women who have been through exactly what you are experiencing so reach out if you need to. I don't know how I would have coped without a few helpful threads before now.

Really sorry to hear your news @AncientandPregnant, what a roller coaster.

Welcome @Celibacy

@Liese27 and @AncientandPregnant
Sorry to hear your news. I had a miscarriage last year and it was heartbreaking x

@footprintsintheslow ok can I do that direct with an ante natal clinic or do I have to go through my gp? I cannot stand my gp and I’m scared to tell him actually. I could book a private scan instead to avoid gp 😕 he honestly gives me the fear

@Celibacydidntwork congratulations 🤞🏼everything will be fine. (I'm 44 - 17+4 weeks - will be 2 months of 45 at due date). I have a friend who had a completely successful and healthy natural conception baby at 48.

@Celibacydidntwork I would second waiting until 10 weeks to get a scan (unless you have need/cause to get one sooner due to bleeding/pain etc). I've been in the unfortunate position of seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks and the embryo fail at 8+3 and another where the embryo demised at 9weeks. From all the reading I've done if the embryo gets to 10 weeks there are very high odds of a successful pregnancy.

Sorry to hear your news @AncientandPregnant. Let’s hope the little one is a fighter but next two weeks will be hard, till your next scan. I still get very upset when I think of my mmc 2y ago, it’s heartbreaking.

Welcome @Celibacydidntwork and co Congratulations! I’m also 45, currently 34w, but ivf baby. You don’t have to go to your gp, I find them waste of time. My local trust, hospital let’s you register online, if you go to your local hospital web, maternity unit, I had option to self refer myself which I did at 6w, midwifes called me on the same day and got the ball rolling with scan appointments and booking appointment. So try, not sure if all trusts, hospitals do online referrals.