Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

997 replies

Avocuddles · 16/05/2020 10:39

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
tmc14 · 22/06/2020 08:11

@Sunflower1608 Good luck with the house. My sister was in a very similar situation, sale fell through the week before lockdown. Despite the pandemic, they are now moving in two weeks! These things can happen very quickly if everyone wants it to. I haven't had my whooping cough vaccine yet. I'm hoping it happens at one of my appointments in July, when I'll be between 24-28 weeks. I have tried calling midwife/GP about it but no luck getting through to anyone at the moment.
My anxiety is sky high at the moment, not even sure why really... But I'm definitely struggling with it more than I have done in the last 6 years or so. I have no advice, but sending solidarity and hopefully once you've got some plans and good news about the growth of your little girl twin then your nerves will calm a bit xx

Knotemma · 22/06/2020 08:34

@Sunflower1608 I had mine done at my 24 weeks appointment with the midwife. Have you heard anything from them? I had a phone appointment at 16 weeks where I was given a date to make my own 24 week appointment, so it might just be worth chasing them up. Everything crossed that this house is the one, it definitely sounds like you've avoided some big problems with the previous one, so hopefully this is the one for you. Also sending lots of positive thoughts for a good scan on Thursday. Try to be kind to yourself, I'm sure that your family understand that your feeling the pressure at the moment x

@tmc14 sorry to hear that you're struggling with your anxiety at the moment. I think that being in such strange times puts a lot of extra pressure on, never mind adding pregnancy after loss to the equation. Have you got anything in place that might help? My work have a support line thing that you can ring and talk things through, I find sometimes just unloading on a stranger can really help me, though I wouldn't describe myself as having any anxiety issues I have to admit. Sending you lots of positivity and good vibes x

futuredreams · 22/06/2020 10:04

@sunflower1608. I haven't actually seen my midwife or any midwife really yet. My booking scan was a consultant. I just opened my file and there was a leaflet in it for whooping cough with a scribble on it that just said 16weeks - 32 weeks. I was 20 weeks but I just wanted it out of the way.

I have my anomaly scan this week. I'll be 21+5 I'm really nervous about it. My husband is usually the one who remembers things and asks questions for me because I get so worked up that the scan might be bad I forget everything. It's going to be quite stressful it having him there. I have been feeling baby a lot since about 18 weeks but the past week I haven't really felt much. It's not helping my anxiety. I just need the appointment to come quickly. Sad

AnxiousLady1 · 22/06/2020 10:18

Happy Monday ladies!

Updating my weeks again. On the one hand I can't believe I'm at the 20 week halfway mark. But on the other I feel like I can't celebrate this until I have my scan out of the way (another 11 days away).

@Bellsx 31wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 31wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ -SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 28 wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 27wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 26 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 26wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 26 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 26 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 26wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 26wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣- GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 26wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 25wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 24wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 24wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 23wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 20wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 16wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 16wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 9weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Ranoutofgoodnames How are you this morning??

@futuredreams My scan is next week at 21+5 as well. Feels super late! I've not felt any real movements yet so that is not helping my anxiety right now at all. I both want to get the scan done and am also dreading it. I keep telling myself that realistically, once I start to feel proper kicks, I'll just move into a new phase of worry where I will be constantly tracking them. So trying to put to the back of my mind for now (diffult to do though!). What part of the country are you in? My SIL was able to bring her OH to her 20 week scan a couple weeks ago (warwickshire) and was led to believe this was a nationwide change. I've not been advised whether or not my DH will be able to come next week though.

futuredreams · 22/06/2020 11:00

@anxiouslady1 it's good to hear I'm not the only one with a late scan date. It is concerning as all midwife ones have been cancelled too so the hospital hasn't actually checked anything with me since my booking scan. I'm in Northern Ireland. Things seem to be completely different here and don't change as quickly as England with regards to Covid updates. 😞 I would doubt they will tell us they can come now. Your absolutely right. Once this is over it's a whole new set of anxiety's but it seems like a phase we all will go through here.

Seahawk80 · 22/06/2020 11:01

Hi everyone, hope it's ok if I join again? I found out last week that I'm pregnant again and am 5+3 today. I have a son who is almost 3 and this is the 3rd time I've been pregnant since he was born. Sadly we have had two terminations for medical reasons, one baby had Down's syndrome and a fatal heart problem (July 2019) and the other had Edwards (March 20). I'm really happy to be pregnant again and to be honest this was a bit of a surprise which is great but I am already anxious. I'm just trying to take it a day at a time until the 12 week scan. I've been on this thread before so hi to everyone still here and to everyone new 👋

Knotemma · 22/06/2020 11:34

@futuredreams I would recommend having a list (on paper) that you take with you, then you will have a prompt for your questions. I still get days of changed movement depending on how the goblin is lying, because I have an anterior placenta. If we're having a quiet day I'll have something cold and sugary (I'm big into Fanta lemon at the moment) and a lie down. Even at 26 weeks I don't necessarily notice movement when I'm busy and on the go.

@AnxiousLady1 congratulations on 20 weeks, I know it's nerve wracking waiting for the next scan, but you've totally got this. I'm in for a growth scan next week and am planning to call ahead of time to see whether there have been any changes to being allowed a support person. DH is on nights and will be tired but it will be worth it for him to be able to see little one. If not I think we might head for a private scan.

@Seahawk80 gentle congratulations and welcome back, it's lovely to see your name here again. Sending you lots of sticky bean dust for this one xx

Avocuddles · 22/06/2020 12:10

Morning all. Thanks to whoever updated the weeks, seeing 26 weeks in writing is pretty exciting and something that I could never have imagined back at the start of the year.

@Seahawk80 so good to see you back and tentative congratulations to you. Anxiety is totally to be expected but hoping that this new pregnancy (as is so often said on here, new egg, new sperm!) is a smooth one for you.

@futuredreams @AnxiousLady1 20 weeks is a great milestone. The scan is a bit nervewracking but hopefully will give you the reassurance you need. In my area (Leeds) partners are still not permitted at scans or appointments and (perhaps a little too late!) they've suddenly increased the levels of hygiene with hand washing stations around the hospital and the government requirement to wear a mask whilst you're there. I'm hoping that by September things may have eased somewhat but trying not to get hopes up as it's still so uncertain.

@Sunflower1608 I booked my whooping cough vaccine by calling my GP. My midwife told me (over the phone) to give them a ring after 20 weeks and I had an appointment within a couple of days.
Wishing you good luck with the scan this week and with the house, fingers crossed that this is the one. I'm also a planner by nature and think that makes pregnancy hard given that there are so many things out of our control! They say that buying a house is one of the most stressful life experiences so it's no surprising that going through both at the same time is having an impact on your day to day life.
I also had a bit of a meltdown yesterday at my husband over the state of our house - it's not that I'm a particularly tidy person, I'm really not, but he is appalling and never does any cleaning unless I nag him. He doesn't really mind being asked but I snapped because I just wish that sometimes he would just think to do something (simple stuff such as hoovering or putting his clothes away) without me having to ask multiple times.

Re Father's Day, I got my husband a card from the bump. It's a hard one for him as he lost his dad a couple of years ago and last year it was only a couple of weeks after our first miscarriage so I felt it would be nice to give him something positive on what has been a sad day over recent years.

@Ranoutofgoodnames hope you're ok today. From what I've read I don't think it's unusual for the pessaries to cause some irritation to the cervix which can result in spotting / bleeding. My fingers are crossed for you.

@RestorationInsanity welcome and congratulations! So glad things have worked out for you after such a tough journey. You're amongst friends here and I think all of us either feel or have felt the way you do - I definitely won't believe that things are going to work out until we bring a baby home. Feel free to ramble away, we're all here to listen.

@tmc14 congrats on reaching 24 weeks. In my mind I hoped that reaching the viability milestone would help ease my anxiety but that definitely hasn't been the case! I have several face to face appointments at 28 weeks starting with a growth scan two weeks today so I'm looking forward to that. Monitoring movements is a weird one, my midwife asked me about patterns during our telephone appointment last week but I can't quite figure out what is really meant by a 'normal' pattern - is it a matter of exact times or day, approx frequency or something else? My movement seem to be generally quite frequent when I'm sitting still but when I'm active (for example going on a walk or doing jobs around the house and garden) I don't consciously feel them - maybe because I'm distracted?

Wishing everyone a calm, healthy week ahead, and for those of you in the UK some time to relax in the sunshine that we've been promised!

OP posts:
Ranoutofgoodnames · 22/06/2020 12:23

@Avocuddles and everyone else thank you xx

Went for a blood test this morning - will probably get an email from my doctor with the results this afternoon - it’s private so it all happens scarily quickly.

I got more pregnancy tests - took a clear blue digital which has gone up to 2-3 weeks since under a week ago and also an frer - test line is darker than control line

I know they can’t tell me anything really but at least it is something I can do while I just wait

Ranoutofgoodnames · 22/06/2020 15:28

Had my results back. Had my last blood tests last Monday and now just going into sixth week - hcg Levels today are 616 and they were 124 last Monday. Doctor says they are low but not if I ovulated a bit later - going in for a scan on Friday

I don’t know about ovulation. My app changed its mind and said I ovulated a bit later than it originally thought (it was my first time trying after my first period after miscarriage). I thought I had already ovulated and we didn’t dtd on the day my app said it was but only a couple of days before - already felt like it was a bit of a miracle I got pregnant let alone pushing ovulation forwards a couple of days to explain low hcg if that makes sense

But anyway - now just need to wait and see. If I don’t start to bleed by Friday then who knows xxx

Knotemma · 22/06/2020 16:08

@Ranoutofgoodnames pleased that your doctor is getting you in for an early scan and that the numbers are going in the right direction. Everything crossed for good news on Friday x

Ranoutofgoodnames · 22/06/2020 17:08

Thank you all xx I feel overall that I need to stay positive but prepare myself for the worst. If I am miscarrying then the positive is that I am 40 and I seem to be able to get pregnant quickly. I can therefore try again and also we are fortunate that ivf (and possibly donor eggs) are a viable option. I can also see a life for myself that is full and happy if we don’t make it - perhaps this is a consequence of meeting my husband when I had just turned 39 and for me it is still a miracle that I have met my “soul mate” and having a family was always potentially a long shot given my age. I know I am trying to package up potentially bad news by looking only at positives but I am not sure otherwise how I would survive to Friday.

I will keep you lovely ladies updated xxx

didslysquiddlydoo · 22/06/2020 18:13

So much to catch up on!!!

@Sunflower1608 thank you for updating me to 26 weeks - eek!! Re the whooping cough vaccination - I was advised at my 20 week scan to get in touch with my GP surgery to have it done. I think there's quite a big time range you can have it in but maybe ask your GP / midwife!
I hope the scan on Thursday is lovely and gives you some respite (however short!!) from the anxiety - we all know it all too well 🙈

@futuredreams god I remember how anxious I felt leading up to that 20 week scan so can really empathise! For what it's worth, it was an amazing experience and I really hope yours is too - will be checking in to see how you get on xx

@AnxiousLady1 ahhh good luck to you too for your anomaly scan!! You're so right about always finding something different to be anxious about - I think it's part and parcel of pregnancy after miscarriage to be honest, BUT look how far we've all come. Will be checking back to see how your scan goes - I hope it's a lovely experience for you and pushes some of those anxieties away for a little while atleast xx

@Seahawk80 it's SO GOOD to see your name back in this thread again - gentle congratulations to you!!! We're all here for you. So many well wishes being sent your way for this pregnancy xxx

@Avocuddles Congratulations fellow 26-weaker - who'd have thought it?! Relax and enjoy the nice weather?! itstoofreakingsweatyhotyuckyuckyuck 🙈🙈

As for me... things are ok I think! We've committed now - we have started the nursery (it is painted and furniture in, just basically need to do accessories and dress the walls - eeek!!!)
Also had a scan today - it was one I booked a few weeks ago in a moment of feeling overwhelmed with anxiety re movements. I've been feeling less anxious the last few days (yay for a small reprieve, however long it lasts!!!) so nearly didn't attend, but seeing as id paid a deposit I decided to go anyway - so glad I did. I got a sneak peek in 4d and they double checked sex (still a girl 😂) and did all the measurements which were all measuring around the 50th percentile. Here's my little squishy trouble maker - I think it's a decent shot for 26 weeks!! The sonographer found it very funny as she had her foot around her head 😂

Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4
Hagster · 22/06/2020 21:23

Oh my too much to catch up on, sorry I know I'll miss people. @Seahawk80 it is so, so lovely to see you here again, welcome back and fingers crossed for this one being sticky and ok. @RestorationInsanity welcome and gentle congratulations! @Ranoutofgoodnames sounds like such a rollercoaster for you at the moment, the waiting must be so hard. Hope you get some good news soon.

Anon20something · 22/06/2020 23:28

I’m 26 weeks too (26+3 now). Feeling good, but really really struggling with anxiety over movements now. I feel him lots throughout the day so no real concerns but I’m lying awake now obsessing over how I haven’t felt him for a few hours, this is every night. Im coming to the same point in my pregnancy when lily stopped moving altogether at 30 weeks and we had such a traumatic time finding out what was wrong, what would happen etc.. I was actually on delivery suite last time at 30 weeks to have her! I just have so much fear that something will go wrong. I can’t stop obsessing over every little movement. Please tell me I’m not going crazy 😭 (he is moving by the way as I write this, I think it’s just all in my head)

tmc14 · 23/06/2020 06:52

@Seahawk80 welcome back, lovely to hear your news. Welcome to @RestorationInsanity too xx

@Knotemma thank you. Tbh I’ve been well with my anxiety so long, & with lockdown etc I’ve lost a lot of the things that keep my anxiety in check. Trying to piece them back together to get it under control. The consultant gave me a number to call if I was struggling so might try that.

@Anon20something you are of course going to find these weeks so hard after what you went through with Lily. My loss was so much earlier and I’m only 24 weeks but already stressing about movements. Do you still have access to a counsellor or maternal mental health services? Are you having extra scans? (Sorry I cant remember if you’ve said). If you generally feel him more during the day and not at night then that’s probably just his pattern. Mines the opposite and is real night owl but I often don’t feel her during the day very much at all. But any changes, or worries, just call maternity triage. I’m sure they’d be more than happy for you to go in and get checked. xxx

Anon20something · 23/06/2020 08:13

@tmc14 I didn’t get access to any support - I was told the waiting list was too long and I wasn’t a priority as I was coping well (deffo wasn’t). So you guys here are my safe space really! I’m having extra scans at 28 and 34 and seeing my midwife every 2 weeks now. I think it’s just in my head as I have no idea what’s ‘normal’ as when lily was moving a bit between 20-30 weeks I thought that was normal, tho in hindsight she didn’t move half as much as this baby! I think I’d be in every day haha, just so much anxiety! Thank you xxx

tmc14 · 23/06/2020 08:27

@Anon20something that’s so shocking! Even I was offered help, even though my anxiety has been under control (no meds) for several years. Really unfair how variable things are. Definitely vent here. I think last time as I had n anterior placenta I knew movements would be tricky to track for ages so I was less stressed. Plus I hadn’t suffered a loss then... if I haven’t felt her move for a while I have cold juice and lie on my side which usually means I feel something. Do you write down when you feel him to spot more of a pattern? My problem is I’m never sure how strict a pattern is needed to be ok...🤦🏻‍♀️

Anon20something · 23/06/2020 09:31

@tmc14 continuity of care in my area is shocking, each individual I’ve seen has been amazing and lovely and tried so much to help but just doesn’t seem like it all links up after you leave to be honest! I get very much in my own head and this feels like a safe space and I know you’ll all reassure me, give me a nod if I do need a bit of a push to do something or just understand which is great. I do feel him a fair bit (I try not to write it down as I obsess even more!) but I think it’s just so much doubt over last time and thinking ‘is this normal’! He moves a lot, with little pokes and taps and sometimes much bigger twists and turns, and is quite active during the day but i think with last time I just doubt myself a lot and have so much fear of it happening again!

Seahawk80 · 23/06/2020 11:03

Thanks for the lovely welcome everyone! Hope you are all enjoying the sun! I'm good, told my mum last night and she's going to pay for a private scan for us which is great because I just can't justify the money but really can't face the EPU.

@Anon20something I can only imagine how stressful this time must be for you. If it helps my DS didn't have much of a pattern at all and barely moved apart from the odd big twist or turn. I never understood when people said baby kicked and kept them awake at night etc. I was probably lucky but it was just stressful. I thought I might get a nice chilled baby and to be fair he was but my God does he make up for it now!

Anon20something · 23/06/2020 11:18

@Seahawk80 thank you! He moves a fair bit during the day with little pokes and prods etc with the occasional big movement thrown in every now and then, but I never know what is ‘Normal’ as my daughter was unable to move after 30 weeks when I was pregnant, and in hindsight you could see that her arm and leg never moved on scans since 12 weeks so I never felt much really. I’d be at the assessment unit every day if I let this overwhelm me, I just worry constantly!

Knotemma · 23/06/2020 12:28

@Anon20something movement is such a strange thing and I've got nothing to compare it to. It must be extremely difficult when you're comparing to your pregnancy with Lily where you knew that there were problems. Over the last fortnight I've had a couple if little freak outs when I've had a busy day and I just can't remember the last time I felt something. Mine is definitely more active at night, DH will often say to me that he's had a good kicking when he comes to bed after work and put his hand on my belly. So I definitely feel more late on an evening and early morning. I have noticed if I have something cold and sweet or something really carb heavy that I'll get a reaction. I've also tried the flashlight test, which DH thinks is mean. I feel like goblin has moved round so the kicks are now hitting my placenta (anterior) and so they don't feel as strong in certain places. I'm trying really hard not to analyse it, but I'm at the midwife today, so will ask her about bubs position and I have a growth scan next week, so hopefully that will give me some reassurance again.

Anon20something · 23/06/2020 12:56

@Knotemma thank you, it’s really interesting seeing what others are feeling! I think I’m expecting too much of little guy! I’m feeling quite a bit throughout the day but I panic if I haven’t had a big movement or anything for like an hour or so which probably isn’t to be expected really! I feel like they aren’t as strong as a few weeks ago but I think he may have been having a growth spurt and he’s deffo moved higher up under my ribs which accounts for it! I think I just need to chill out a bit, it’s just my mind getting to me!

footprintsintheslow · 23/06/2020 14:26

@Seahawk80 welcome back lovely!!!great to see your name again. X

@didslysquiddlydoo I love the scan picture. Some 4d ones look scary but this is beautiful.

Knotemma · 23/06/2020 15:30

Got to the doctor's for my midwifes appointment, tang to check in, because you have to wait in the car... Realised that in my panic to find an appropriate face cover or mask I forgot to bring my notes and urine sample 🙈. Sometimes my urgent need to be at least 15 minutes early comes in handy, as does the fact I only live round the corner

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread