Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. It's such an awful experience isn't it, it actually feels quite good to share. I'm glad I asked specifics as it now does sound like a lot of people had similar experiences! I was monitored in the hospital overnight but apart from being desperately thirsty and drinking a tonne of water I didn't even need a drip or anything. Afterwards my iron levels were even ok although I felt drained and had enormous dark circles for about 6 months so I was taking iron anyway. I remember my eyelids and lips went really pale at the hospital and for a few days after so it definitely registered, although I guess the important takeaway for all of us is that our bodies coped, they did what they were supposed to do and one way or another we were all fine in the end (physically i mean).

Thanks for the tips on tv programmes! I decided to try "Life and Birth" and had a quick look today (mainly to check that my boyfriend won't faint if we watch it together) and it seemed really good. It does seem to focus more on unusual situations like heart defects, premature birth etc but it was still really interesting for me to see a real woman give birth and to be able to see that it's all ok in the end. So far (first episode) is happy endings anyway!

@Hagster that's a good attitude to have - I've always had completely normal periods, never had any bleeding issues generally so I shouldn't get too focussed on this one experience.

@Knotemma thank you - its good to hear of people who lived through pph and were absolutely fine! And you're right at least they identified it! @Whiffle77 ah you've been told the same thing - it must be a blanket precaution for all fibroids, becuase yours don't sound as bad as mine! I'm generally going to try focussing on the end goal now and try to put these fears to bed, although I'm sure they'll come up again!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend planned - I'm going for a picnic with 2 family friends, and next week we are driving to see my mum who has been isolating since March due to heart failure. She lives 5 hours away so we couldn't go see her without being able to stay at her house and now the rules are allowing that as she lives alone. Even though we don't have to social distance from her I'm still going to try and keep away (bar a big hug hello) as I'd hate to introduce something nasty that would be very bad news for her... we've been doing click and collect shopping so reducing our chances of coming in contact with others now... I hope I start showing over the next week as it would be great to "show" her the first signs of the new baby!

Thanks ladies xx
Has anyone taken progesterone pessaries?? I am sure more comes out of me than stays in...

I know I shouldn’t test tomorrow morning. I also know that I absolutely will 🙄

@ranoutofgoodnames yeh I was on them for 16 weeks once I got my positive. I actually think they're the reason I've got this far. They are so messy and not pleasant to use tbh and yeh they do leak a lot but my consultant said that's ok and is very common. They basically absorb within the hour so I always tried putting it in before sitting and doing my hair before work. And again at night before bed ( I was on 2 a day) ruined all my underwear even wearing pads. Had to throw them all out 🙈

Thanks @futuredreams it is messy! I will persevere...

I am very worried today (I am generally quite a worrier so this is nothing new) but am now convinced that the only reason I am getting positive test results is because I still have hcg in my system from last time. I miscarried in the third week of April and got my first period four weeks after that. I tracked my temperature and app said I had ovulated. Lines have got slightly darker but as so many people have noted you can’t really go on that. I did do a test about three weeks after miscarriage and it was negative and am getting positives on a digital which o think is less sensitive. Hcg levels at about nine days dpo were just over 15. Does anyone have any experience of this?? xx

@Ranoutofgoodnames I don't think the positives would be from still having HCG present from your miscarriage - you've had a period and negative test in between that time.

As frustrating as it is to hear when you're feeling so worried, at this stage it really is just a case of wait and see. It might help to try and keep yourself busy and occupied with things to try and distract you a little until Monday.

Thinking of you x

Updating to 25 weeks!!! Eek!! Can't believe we have a couple of 30 week milestones in the group now - it's so exciting and I really hope gives hope to all those newer ladies joining the group! 💕💕

@Bellsx 30wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 30wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 25 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow** 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@didslysquiddlydoo I know I know thank you xxx it’s hard and stressful. DH keeps tutting each time I test but honestly it is the only way I can reassure myself. I don’t really know at this stage what could reassure me and even if this beautiful one sticks I can’t really imagine getting to the point where I am 12 weeks and being told all is ok. I need to calm down. I am normally quite rational but with this I just can’t seem to settle with it let it all play out if that makes sense xx

@Ranoutofgoodnames I totally understand where you're coming from. Before this pregnancy I had 3 losses all before 8 weeks. I'd never had a positive scan or gotten to the point where we felt we could tell people other than our parents for support. The first few weeks were massively stressful, even with early scans for reassurance. Even now at 25 weeks I have anxious days where I just can't convince myself it's going to work out ok. Pregnancy after loss is an absolute minefield emotionally. If testing is helping you stay sane over these few days until your next blood test then that's great. But if it's just giving you more anxiety it might be worth getting DH to hide the tests from you.

I would agree that having had a negative test and a period it's unlikely that these are "leftover" hormones from your previous loss, I don't know how far along you were but with all 3 of mine my hormones were back to 0 in under 10 days (all "natural" MCs). So try to remember, today you are pregnant, give yourself lots of love and self care and be kind to yourself. And if husband tuts at you feel free to tell him off then blame it on the hormones! Xx

@Knotemma thank you so much for being so understanding and kind. Thank you to everyone for this! Honestly am hormonal - tearing up over here 😳

@Ranoutofgoodnames with this pregnancy I think I tested every day from 4 weeks until at least 6 and a half weeks when we had an early scan. I needed to know I was still getting a line on the tests. Even after my early scans I was still convinced something would go wrong. To be completely honest I still feel that now at 19 weeks. I can't imagine bringing a baby home. But I'm just taking it one appointment and scan at a time.

Sorry if you've already said this but have you considered a private scan for reassurance?

@Shefliesonherownwings yes absolutely - having a blood test on Monday to see if the hcg levels and progesterone levels are where they should be and if so I will have an early viability scan for sure. I don’t know about this - in a way I would prefer just to try to put it out of my head and carry on until 12 week scan but I know that I wouldn’t be able to do that so Scans are going to be how I stay sane if it sticks. Thank you - it is so nice to know I am doing “normal” stuff in these difficult circumstances x

@Bellsx 30wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 30wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 25 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 15wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow** 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Ranoutofgoodnames the early weeks are the very hardest and it's impossible to relax or enjoy the fact that you're pregnant which is awful. I think we all went through it and I think those of us who have now made it past our 12 week scan still can't believe it. I'll be crossing my fingers for you. What worked for me until I got past the point I had been before was sheer distraction - computer games, reality tv, whatever helped me to zone out and not dwell or think too much about things. It's an awful time! I hope you manage to find a way to make the time pass a bit quicker xx

Updating my weeks (was too scared to last week until I had my midwife appointment in case I jinxed anything!) 💕

@Bellsx 30wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 30wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 25 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 15wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Ranoutofgoodnames good luck for your blood test today, thinking of you and fingers crossed for positive news 🤞🏻

Happy Monday all!

Updating my weeks also:

@Bellsx 30wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 30wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 25 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 19wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 15wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Ranoutofgoodnames Best of luck with the tests today. I hope you were able to distract yourself a little over the weekend.

Another weeks update - 25!

@Bellsx 30wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 30wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 25 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 25wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 19wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 15wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

Best of luck for you today @Ranoutofgoodnames, hoping you get a positive result and some reassurance

Afternoon all! Hope everyone is doing well!

Had a hectic few days including an ambulance ride and an overnight stay in the maternity ward at the end of last week.

Had what I thought was heartburn/reflux followed by my whole body feeling like it was on fire, doubled in agony struggling to move! Resulting in a call to my mum for help and 999!

@Rachael321 that definitely doesn't sound good! Did they have any idea what was going on? Hopefully you're feeling much better.

Another milestone for me today...100 days until the goblin is due to arrive!

@Knotemma they aren't sure, I've to go for an ultrasound to rule out gallstones. Other than that its just extreme gastric reflux!

100 days to go! Its flying past, I'm now at 66 and cant believe it

@Rachael321 sounds like a horrible few days, fingers crossed it gets better for you.

Updating my weeks too (and you @tmc14) - one week away from technically being viable, although still a long way to go I realise, not getting ahead of myself!

@Bellsx 30wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 30wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 25 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 25wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 23wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 23wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 19wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 15wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Rachael321 neither of those sound like fun, glad they've got you referred for some investigation.

@Rachael321 that sounds awful - I really hope it's nothing serious and also that you don't have to go through it again!

Unrelated: has anyone caught a glimpse of themselves in the mirror and thought "GOSH I'm so fat!!!!" before realising you're almost 16 weeks (or x number of weeks) pregnant! Feel so dumb right now

Hi ladies. I had my 25 week appointment today with my midwife for the first time since week 8! Both midwives I had last pregnancy have now left but my new one is lovely! She was horrified I hadn’t been seen in so long, she said she would get me in whenever I need to and have me her number and said I can ring anytime even if I just need a chat or some reassurance or to pop in and hear him which is amazing! Feel much calmer. We’ve agreed on fortnightly appts for now and weekly after 31 weeks if I need to for the last 7 weeks til induction - that’ll be the same time when everything went wrong last time so I know I’ll wobble a lot! Baby’s heartbeat was great and lots of accelerations because he was moving so much!

@Rachael321 your awful experience sounds similar to what I went through a fortnight ago which also ended up with an ambulance ride. Have you been given any meds to help you out? Touch wood I've been ok since but every night I'm scared to go to sleep in case it happens again, and I'm waking up pretty much every hour.

@MOGMOGMOG85 haha it's a weird / exciting time when you start 'showing', embrace it! So glad you've reached that stage.

@Anon20something glad your appointment went well. I'm jealous that yours was face to face - mine is this week too but it's yet another phone one, the first face to face one in our area at the moment is 28 weeks by which point I won't have seen her for 20 weeks! It's great that they're committing to giving you more support and reassurance - lots more opportunities to hear that amazing heartbeat

@Avocuddles Deffo feel really lucky to get to see someone face to face. I think the two midwives I had with lily who’ve now left had pushed to get me in (They booked it for me) as only high risk women are being seen and I’m low risk this pregnancy thankfully as we know he doesn’t have the condition she had.

@Anon20something I'm really pleased you had a good appointment and that your new midwife was lovely. I'm back to see mine next week, looks like I'll have 4 weekly face to face appointments now which is great, especially with everything that's going on. I think it helps that I'm in a fairly rural area and my local doctor's practice is barely seeing anyone face to face.

I'm officially down to 7 working weeks left and my replacement has been hired and announced. I think it will be an....interesting fit for the team... Quite glad I'll be out of the way when the sparks start to fly 😂🙈. I'm feeling more motivated around the house, but less motivated for work which isn't ideal. Hopefully for these last few weeks I can strike some kind of balance!