Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

Welcome to newbies. Gentle congratulations and hope you are here for the long haul xx

Updating my weeks. I swear it seems to be going so quick now - one of my phone apps told me it's only 98 days til due date now and I was so surprised!

@Hoping2020 I've updated you too - hope that's ok x

Hope everyone is doing ok. Sorry I'm not around a lot lately, life is just a tad hectic so been struggling to keep up with everything xx

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake** 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

Time for me to update again...now 3/4 of the way there 70days until due date!

Question...at what point do you think you are classed as heavily pregnant?

@Bellsx 30wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 30wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 26wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 26wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake** 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Rachael321 I feel heavily pregnant now and I'm only 25 weeks 😂

@SammiLou2312 I'm keeping my eye on the countdown for when I hit 100 days to go. I did mention that we have 15 weeks to go to DH yesterday and he was definitely shocked, can't get over how time seems to be flying now! Because I need to use up my holidays I have 36 working days left which is just insane.

@Ranoutofgoodnames @Hayleylou89 welcome and gentle congratulations. You're definitely in good company here, we have ladies who have had all kinds of different experiences. We're very open, there is not such thing as tmi on this thread.

@Rachael321 I would also already class myself as heavily pregnant but then I do keep getting asked if I'm sure there is only one baby in there when folk see a picture of me! (Attached a pic - I'll let you decide haha) I think it's safe for you to be classed as that at 30 weeks! Congratulations on the milestone btw 🥰

@knotemma I just totted up my remaining working days (I also had a lot of holidays to take before I go on maternity) and apparently I only have 24 working days left! What the hell!?! When did time start going so fast?!?

I also hope you don't mind me joining. I've been watching from afar for a while and this thread has been very comforting to me.

I'm currently 19 weeks with my fourth pregnancy. The last three ended in miscarriage. Last one was particularly devastating at 12 weeks at booking scan.

I'm always thinking things will go wrong and being pregnant isn't real. I was suppose to have many scans for reassurance but covid has robbed me of these.

Hope everyone is doing well in the current circumstances ☺️

Welcome @futuredreams. I think I recognise your name from the Nov thread. You're in good company here. I'm 18.5 weeks so we are close in due dates. This is a great group for support during a naturally anxious time (without having to deal with previous loss also). I sometimes find the Nov thread can be overwhelming. Please do share any worries you might have here. Everyone is incredibly supportive and has helped me through several wobbles already. x

@anxiouslady1 yes I'm in that thread. Thanks so much. ☺️ I'm 19+4 today. Trying to take every day as it comes. My 20 week scan isn't for another 2 weeks (couldn't get me in earlier) so I booked another private one for Sunday just to calm my anxiety. X

@futuredreams Yes I know the feeling! My scan is still 3 weeks away at 21+5. I agonized over it last week and whether to get a private scan. But ultimately my fear of getting bad news there was greater so I decided against it. Like you, I'm taking every day as it comes. Have no real reason to think anything has gone wrong, but after experiencing MMC it's hard to shake the doubt. You've probably noted already that there are several women on here who have experienced multiple MC and are now well on their way to the final stretch of healthy pregnancies. So if anything, keeping an eye on here is good, as you can take reassurance and encouragement from everyone else's good news stories too. x

@SammiLou2312 you look fabulous, as does the nursery! The paintings are gorgeous.

I've found out today that my replacement has been hired, just waiting for confirmation of who it is (it was an internal vacancy because of the type of job), so I'm starting to think about pulling together a handover pack. Because I work with system development I need to make sure that it's straight forward, so hopefully going to make some screen recording videos over the next couple of weeks when I can get the software sorted on my laptop 😂

@AnxiousLady1 I have noticed that. It's amazing to see and hear great stories. My last one was a MMC too ending with an ERPC. I think that's what makes it worse as you say. Thanks again

@futuredreams welcome to the group! Congratulations on getting this far xx

I had 5 previous losses, the last been an MMC that was discovered in November last year and needed surgical treatment for it...I fell on with this pregnancy at Christmas 🥰 Something that is a bit of a mantra in here is that this is a different egg, a different sperm and a different pregnancy. There is no reason to not expect a different outcome and today - you are pregnant! Hopefully everything will be fine at your 20 weeks scan and you may start feeling movements not long after that too.

To all our new members...As others have said, this group is always here for you. To celebrate the good, support the bad (although we hope this isnt needed) or to just be a voice of reason or someone to listen if you are having a moment of panic or confusion. Trust me, we have all been there numerous times. No question is stupid and no info is tmi. I almost feel like this a second family lol xx

It's so lovely to see so many new joiners here, I'm so sorry for your losses but I'm so glad you've joined us. Let me add my gentle congratulations and warm welcome to everyone else's. We're here for you ❤️

I echo @Hagster - so lovely to see more people join our lovely little group! I hope you guys find it as supportive as I have - it really is a lovely little safe space amongst others who understand many of the ups and downs of pregnancy after loss!

Welcome and gentle congratulations 💕

Morning! I am a bundle of nerves. Tests still showing positive. Got my first positive on Monday this week (which I think was very early maybe seven dpo). Since then have had positives every day but all faint and not getting much darker. Took a digital this morning which said pregnant 1-2 weeks. Am worried it is a chemical pregnancy because the lines are so faint.

Has anyone had a chemical pregnancy and how long did the positive tests go on for?

If I still get a positive result on Monday I am having another blood test to check hcg levels so I will know for sure xxx

Sorry also I have no symptoms. Not expecting any but when I was pregnant last time (had a mmc) I had sore boobs from around day ten onwards)

Welcome to our new members! @Ranoutofgoodnames I know it's absolutely awful waiting in those first days and weeks but try not to worry about symptoms beacuse if there's one thing I've learned on here it's that every woman and every pregnancy is different! I've always had strong lines on tests but I know that lots of other people take a long time for the test to get darker. My first pregnancy I didn't get any symptoms until I got very achey boobs at 6 weeks. This (successful, so far) pregnancy my first symptom was nausea at 4 weeks but my breasts didn't get sore really at all, the odd very tiny ache. They've started aching a bit more now I'm into my second trimester but still really nothing compared to my first pregnancy which was agony! And that's only my very limited experience, there are so many different ways to be pregnant, many of my friends have had entirely symptomless pregnancies and gone on to have healthy babies! xxx

I have a couple of questions for the group, one of them is a bit grim so please excuse me. Firstly does anyone have any recommendations for positive tv programmes to watch about birth? I'm very aware that I've never seen real birth, and so the only portrayals I've seen are victorian women bleeding to death on tv. I would like to put in some hours to correct this bias which is unconsciously making me quite anxious! I'd like to watch something but I'm worried in case I choose the wrong thing and I'm exposed to more death and destruction! I don't mind seeing difficult births with a happy ending, but I really don't want to be watching anything that has a terrible ending for obvious reasons. Any recommendations?

And the grim question: I've only had one miscarriage and I was told by the diagnosing sonographer to expect a lot of blood, but to come into hospital if there was too much blood. I wanted to be sure so I asked how much was too much blood and she said if you soak through a maxi-pad more than once an hour (which honestly didn't sound like much blood to me but it gave me something to picture at least). When the miscarriage happened it was like... a waterfall, and I was shocked becuase the embryo was only 6 weeks! Although it was MMC and so its possible the placenta has carried on developing etc until the 11 week mark. Anyway I was soaking through an incontinence pad every 3 minutes so I went to the hospital. That amount of blood continued for 5 hours, and then it slowed down but was still 2 maxi pads every hour for another 5 hours before it fully slowed down. If its not too grim for anyone to answer I wondered how much blood was involved in other peoples mcs.. the reason I'm curious is becuase its the only experience I've ever had of something other than a period coming out of my womb, and now that I've been told I'm at higher risk of pph I'm scared that my body is prone to heavy blood loss! It would basically put my mind at ease if I found that my experience was fairly normal, or at least not really abnormal, but I just generally would really appreciate something to measure against... sorry xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you xxx the rational part of me does know these things but I just do to this place of complete panic. My husband thinks I shouldn’t test until Monday but I end up feeling like if I can give myself a bit of reassurance why wouldn’t I

I had an mmc with surgical management so didn’t have much blood really

Would you ever watch one born every minute? I am obsessed and they rarely seem to show ones where it goes so badly wrong. They just show women having some pain and ultimately dealing with it an ending up with beautiful little babies 😍😍

My midwife said the same thing to me at my booking in appointment for this pregnancy @MOGMOGMOG85 which I was surprised about, as it meant I should have gone to hospital last time. I was 8 weeks when I had my MC and basically had to stay in the toilet for five hours, and then continued to bleed for two weeks. From what I read I think that is reasonably normal, though it is different for everyone.
I spoke to someone close to me last night to ask them to not send scan pictures with no warning as they are due at a very similar date to what I would have been if I hadn't had my MC. They understood, but then this morning announced it on all types of social media after being silent until now. I feel really upset, I know it's stupid as I'm pregnant again and much further on than last time, but it still hurts. I dont want them to limit their excitement but why the day after I ask them to be sensitive?! Today feels hard.
Hope everyone else is ok, welcome to the newbies.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've also watched quite a lot of one born every minute, the only thing with that is that it's very "staged" for TV and tends to be edited for more tension. Honestly I'd Google positive birth stories, positive birth videos and positive birth podcasts. They tend to be much more real and honest.

On the bleeding front, with my first loss I had very heavy bleeding for a couple of hours. Things had started off slowly with spotting and over A few days it got heavier. Then I just had a massive gush of blood. We had gone out for breakfast (were on honeymoon at the time) and I literally couldn't leave the bathroom it was so heavy for maybe 30-40 minutes. I was 5+4 at the time, so very early. It was a massively traumatic experience for me, because we'd gone from hoping for the best still to knowing for definite that it was over. The 2 MCs that followed I had fairly light bleeding for a couple of days. I think it really just depends on the circumstances.

My sister in law had PPH after both of her births (which were both successful) she had to go back into hospital for a day or too, as both times it happened after she'd been released, but was absolutely fine on both occasions and has 2 gorgeous bouncing kids. I don't think they ever identified her risk factors. So at least in your case they're on the look out and will be keeping a really close eye on you x

@Ranoutofgoodnames symptom spotting so early can really mess with your head. I was also obsessed with peeing on a stick. When I went to the doctor's at about 6 weeks with this pregnancy she asked how many pregnancy tests I'd taken and just stared at me open mouthed when I said... I don't know, 30 or 40 🙈. I had been buying tests in bulk for almost 2 years at that point, so at least it didn't cost me a fortune. Try not to obsess about the "darkness" of the line to much, every time you test with different pee there will be a slightly different concentration of HCG. Everything crossed that you're with us for the long hall x

@Ranoutofgoodnames I'm sorry you're in this limbo stage - it's such a weird place to be in - I swore I'd never test early again after my first chemical pregnancy... (but always did!!)
I had a MMC with surgical management, waited for my first period before trying again and then had two consecutive chemical pregnancies. Both times the lines stayed steadily the same for maybe about a week before I then started to bleed. What I did notice from n m y tests in which the pregnancies progressed further, however, is that when they dry they tend to look a bit darker anyway, so sometimes comparing a fresh test to a day / two day old test won't be entirely accurate anyway... 🤞🏼🤞🏼. Everything crossed for you xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 sorry, I had surgical management after my MMC so can't comment on the bleeding (the bleeding following the procedure was v v minimal). As for tv programmes - I'm not a fan of one born as I think it's very staged but i did really enjoy the Emma Willis series "delivering babies". It was focussed a lot on her training to become a midwifery assistant but it was a really good insight into things. There was one bit where she received training on how to support a grieving family, and one of the other midwives spoke about her own precious loss, but I thought it was all handled really sensitively and wasn't a big part of the programme x

Welcome to all the new joiners, sorry for your losses, but it's lovely to have you here. @Ranoutofgoodnames Keeping everything crossed for you. It's so very early for reliable symptoms, but that won't stop you looking I know. I hope the days pass quickly and your bean is very sticky!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I had a miscarriage at 10.5 weeks, baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. I'd never seen so much blood in my life. Weird story but I was stuck at the allotment with my friend... I went through 8 size 6 nappies (my sons stash was all I had!) and also bled loads into a bucket in the shed, blood, massive clots, the works. I had been spotting for a day, some red blood mid morning, I left for my EPU appointment at 1pm. So, that loss level of loss was over 3 hours. By the time I got to hospital I was soaked through my clothes/the last nappy I had. The EPU nurse then removed the rest (what was sat low in my cervix) after the scan. I did suffer anaemia afterwards, and I did faint at the nurses station, but it wasn't considered a concerning amount, and I was allowed to get a taxi home with my husband after lying down for an hour. So, not sure that answers your question, but I felt like it was loads. I bleed steadily, like a heavy period for about 2 weeks after.

The only videos I watched were some really lovely hypnobirthing ones on YouTube. Very nice to aspire to, and beautiful to watch, but my sons' birth was not like that! Ha.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I bled for about two weeks. MMC (stopped growing at 7 weeks and started to bleed around 12 weeks). It was weirdly off and on. Like each time I would think it was starting to ease off, I'd suddenly start to bleed very heavily with large clots. That happened several times over the couple of weeks. I fainted about a week or so in, and had to take iron tablets for a good few weeks after. So I think the heavy blood loss is to be expected with MC. Seems like many of us experienced similar.

I finally told work today 🙈Almost 19 weeks. Glad it's out of the way. One less thing to stress about!

@AnxiousLady1 glad you've got to the point of feeling comfortable enough to tell work, hopefully that takes a bit of pressure off moving forward

Hi all and welcome to the new faces who have recently joined us, as others have said it's such a welcoming and open group and hopefully we will offer you the support you need at what is a frightening / nervewracking time for all of us.

@MOGMOGMOG85 my MCs both happened naturally (spotted as likely MMCs on scans then proceeded of their own accord a few days later at 7 and 8 weeks). In both instances the bulk of tissue passed within a few hours of heavy bleeding starting - I needed to change pads frequently but it wasn't generally gushing out other than when the initial clots came out. It did however continue both times to proceed like a very heavy period for around 2 weeks which was a bit of a shock to the system given my periods whilst TTC had been very light, very short and very irregular. I'll be monitored for bleeding risk because of the anticoagulants I take - if there is reason to suspect you might be higher risk then I'm sure you'll be very well taken care of.

@AnxiousLady1 glad you've told work and feel relieved that it's done. Almost half way now!

Re programmes to watch, the recent BBC series Life and Birth was good as showed a wide range of pregnancies included some very complicated ones. One Born Every Minute does sometimes come across as quite edited and some of the dads in particular might get you rolling your eyes somewhat but still well worth watching especially to get a feel for what the birthing environment will be like. Series 3 and 4 were filmed in the hospital where I'll be giving birth (and are all available on sky on demand on the 'w' channel) so I'm working my way through them to familiarise myself with everything!
I guess the thing to remember is that although our experiences / those of the others we hear about on here do make us all assume the worst, there are many, many women who have uncomplicated births that result in a healthy baby. As others have said whilst it's good to approach birth with your eyes open, try to also read about / watch positive birth experiences as there's every chance that you will be able to have one.

@Ranoutofgoodnames I tested so many times over the initial weeks of each of my pregnancies and if it's any consolation the (slow) line progression for this pregnancy which is now approaching 25 weeks was exactly the same as those that didn't make it past the first trimester, so try not to worry yourself too much interpreting them. It's great that you've been offered bloods - I was never offered them as my doctors approach in the early weeks was pretty much 'what will be will be'. Hopefully the test will give you some reassurance, we will all have our fingers crossed for you!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I bled so much after my MMC at 12 weeks (9 weeks gestation) that I had to stay in overnight to monitor my blood pressure and take iron tablets for a while after. Bled on and off for about a month. Your experience sounds very similar to mine. No-one has said that what happened wasn't normal, and I'm not personally concerned, I've attributed it to being the nature of that particular series of events rather than my body/tendency to bleed. I don't know about you but when I bleed normally (cut/period etc.) I'd consider it to be normal, so I figure the MMC was just its own thing.

@Ranoutofgoodnames I haven't had a chemical but can absolutely identify with that horrible waiting and wondering game early on. Sending you my sympathy and fingers crossed for you.