Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@MOGMOGMOG85 I feel for you re having to having to have a hospitalised birth with potentially a fair bit of intervention. I knew from the outset that this was always going to have to be the case for me so to be honest blanked out the idea of any other kind of birthing experience, though I did read the home birth and birthing centre chapters of the Positive Birth Book in a voyeuristic way! It is completely natural to feel worried and unhappy about what ultimately feels like a lack of control, it's hard to have to put our faith in medical professionals but ultimately you have to believe it's all for the best of both you and your baby. I've found that I come up with lots of questions all of the time so if and when any enter your head make sure you write them down to ask next time you speak to the consultant, mine has done a good job of (temporarily) putting my mind at ease by patiently listening to my questions and concerns. It sounds like you will have a lot of monitoring which hopefully brings down the various risks. Re the pre eclampsia risk have you been / will you be prescribed aspirin preventatively or is that contraindicated by your other conditions?
Re expressing preferences during birth, you can absolutely make a birth plan setting out what you would like, just make sure that you don't have your hopes too set on any particular vision of birth that would leave you disappointed if it doesn't work out that way. I for example know that a Caesarian under general anaesthetic is a possibility for me as I can't have one with spinal anaesthetic within twelve hours of my blood thinning meds - this would not be anyone's first choice but I'm trying to make sure that I focus on it as the means to an end and mentally come to terms with the fact that my birthing experience might not be a particularly 'spiritual' one if that makes sense? Hopefully it won't come to that but I need to acknowledge that it's a possibility.
Sorry your work continue to be so difficult re antenatal appointments, it seems baffling that a primary school hasn't been challenged over this previously!

@SunStruck you look fantastic!

@Knotemma @SunStruck it's exciting that your birth plans are coming together. As above mine is very much limited by my medical circumstances, water birth is 100% a no no unfortunately as I need more monitoring and epidural isn't an option within 12 hours of my meds so I need to accept that it will ultimately be a case of playing it by ear depending on when labour starts etc. I have my next consultant appointment at 28 weeks so I think we'll be starting to discuss plans for the birth then.

Thank you @Knotemma you make good points! You're right there are ways I could perhaps make the labouring more comfortable - I basically don't want to end up on my back on a bed like you say! Good point about getting advice from ACAS, maternity action etc I guess that's my next step. I'm talking to the (sort of) HR person on the phone today and nervous. I wrote her an email hoping to get some responses in writing and she totally avoiding answering any of my questions or putting anything in writing. Although after repeated questioning she did say they don't have a maternity policy (that's written now) which she didn't seem willing to give an answer on previously.

@Avocuddles thanks for your reply. It gives me hope that you seem to have found ways to come to terms with a hospital birth and even your caesarian option... I guess at least now as you say I have time to think, ask questions and come to terms with how things will be. I might ask about the possibility of elective caesarian. I really really really don't want one but if for example it was lower risk of PPH then maybe it would be a good thing overall? That's one question that's occurred to me. It's so hard to know what the right thing to do isn't it! You're right that it's probably good to start cultivating a good attitude to the doctors - that they are there to help me rather than (as I often fall into the trap of) being suspicious or having negative feelings about their interventions! Not that I'm going to have a team of doctors lol I imagine it will just be one - hopefully a nice one! Perhaps that's another question I can ask - how many people will be around me etc. because I had been hoping for a quiet birth with people I know but I guess that's not going to be the case and it would be good to prepare/picture. Thank you - this has helped me think! Oh and re: pre-eclampsia I am on the higher dose of aspirin and because I started at 13+3 they say there are good chances I will reduce my risk right down so I shouldn't be worrying about that one really. It's just another word that you don't want thrown in the mix by a doctor haha! Perhaps I'll focus on thinking positively - thank goodness we live in an age where these things can be picked up on early and medicated for, where we can look inside the womb and know if there are going to be issues etc. I'm sure the obstetricians are absolutely great at their jobs and see all the sorts of issues that might arise for us all the time. Do you mind me asking what issues make your birth more complicated, is it the blood-thinners that you are on? xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I guess I've come to terms with everything because right from the first pregnancy I was told how it would be, so by pregnancy number 3 I've had that same initial talk multiple times and I'm becoming more and more of the attitude 'just do whatever it takes to deliver them safely'. My high risk is due to the fact that I had a major deep vein thrombosis (from my groin right down my leg) around ten years ago. The only risk factor at the time was being on the combined pill, I haven't tested positive for any of the major clotting disorders so it has to be assumed that it was sensitivity to estrogen which triggered it. I was told when I first fell pregnant that without anticoagulation my risk of a (potentially life threatening) clot in pregnancy could be 2 or 3 in 10 but with the combination of daily injections and aspirin my risk now should be on par with anyone in the general population if not lower. The risks around birth are primarily around bleeding, and spinal anaesthetics are out if I've injected recently as they are very dangerous in that situation. Hopefully I will be able to have an event free vaginal birth but best to be prepared for every eventuality!

Thank you all so much, I knew you guys would appreciate what a stressful day it was yesterday. I still feel pretty wiped out to be honest but am at work and not doing much except eating biscuits.

I can't fault the clinical staff at the hospital but the admin/reception side has been rubbish. I'm not saying I want special treatment or anything but as someone said up thread, you would hope that staff would be a little more sensitive when working in the antenatal clinic. Even without a pandemic, pregnancy is still stressful and worrying and without partners being able to come it's even worse. I have a big sticker on my notes saying i've had a stillbirth so I was hoping she might be more aware that this is not an easy time. I don't think I want to make a complaint but I do want to give feedback about how stressful it was. Do you think I should speak to my midwife or maybe PALS?

@MOGMOGMOG85 I understand your disappointment and frustration at having to have a different birth than one you'd hoped to have. Last year I kept saying, i'll go with the flow and I won't plan too much but I did have it in my head that I really wanted a lovely water birth in the midwife led unit, using hypnobirthing without much intervention. Obviously that didn't happen in the end but one thing I did do when I was around 30 weeks was to go on a tour of the hospital and I was suprised to see how homely the delivery suites on the labour ward could become. Although there are machines in there and more staff around, we were told we could bring in whatever we wanted to make it more relaxing, dimmed lighting, music, posters etc... which made me feel better about it. A tour might not be possible at the moment but as @Avocuddles says i would definitely be having open conversations about how things can be made as comfortable for you as possible whilst also enuring you and baby are safe. No harm in starting those discussions early on.

@shefliesonherownwings Reading about your experience yesterday made me furious. We've all spoke about being wary of private scans due to previous experience with lack of sensitivity. I expected more from a hospital. Especially, as you said, where your notes make your previous experience abundantly clear.

@MOGMOGMOG85 It does sound like there is a lot of information for you to have to digest and consider. As @avocuddles said, write down any questions you think of so you can run through these with your consultant at your next appointment.

I'm a little 'go with the flow' at the moment too. I haven't done any research yet into a birthing plan or what is on offer. At my booking in appointment with midwife she asked if I'd considered it yet, and I said all I want was the safest option for me and baby. So if that meant a hospital I'm fine with that. I reckon I'd like to have access to drugs if needed but I do need to do my research. My hospital is only 5 mins walk from house, but we are in terraced upper level flat. So home birth is definitely out for me. Don't think I could look at the guys downstairs after! 😂😂 Like the idea of doing it in midwife led unit, but aware I wouldn't have same access to drugs there. But again, I do need to read on the pros and cons of the drugs.

@Avocuddles my birth plan is out of my hands too, will need a caesarean (which I’m definitely ok with!) but will most likely be under GA which I’m disappointed about but if that’s the way it is then so be it. Woke up a few years ago with a spontaneous dura tear that took 8 months to heal (ish as still have effects and occasional pain) and doctors are always surprised when I tell them I just woke up like that! Combined with the blood thinners it’s probably the safest option for me. Hope I’m awake quickly though and not groggy. On the plus side should be able to walk around fairly soonish. Still a way to go but guessing partners not allowed in if GA, probably for the best as think my DP would find it stressful. Got my 28 week growth scan at the start of July so hoping for a confirmed date then and building up my questions x

Interesting hearing everyone's birth plans, we dont seem to have many straightforward ones on the group! For me, it's very likely I will need a c section, but they say they won't know for sure until later in the pregnancy. To be honest this probably removes a lot of anxiety and "planning" for me, because it is what it is! But I will see how things go, I feel a VERY long way away from that at the minute. But its exciting that others are getting to a point of discussing it properly!
@Shefliesonherownwings I'm so sorry at what a truly awful experience you had! Theres no excuse for how you were talked to, but hopefully this is just a blip and future ones will be far more helpful and thoughtful. I would have a chat to your midwife and see what they recommend, I can understand not making a complaint but some feedback can only help I'm sure. They shouldn't be talking to anyone like that, let alone someone in your position.
@SunStruck you look fab! I am back working out now I feel better, and its helped my mental health so much! Are you aiming to keep going all the way through?

@Knotemma @Avocuddles thanks ladies ❤️ interesting hearing about your birth plans too! It feels surreal doesn't it... in 3 weeks we're in the third trimester 😱

@Whiffle77 thank you! ❤️ yes I'm feeling great now so will keep going all the way through, pending that I feel this good in the third trimester too. I'll just adapt my workouts when I get bigger if I have to, no problems! Keeping active is good for my mental health and I sleep much better when I've exercised that day 😄

I dont know where to start with my birth plan if I'm honest!
Have an appointment with the anaesthetists at the start of next month to discuss things so hopefully that will help.
I feel like I want a wee bit of everything. I love a bath so water birth would be fab I think, would also like to be able to move about as much as I can, but would also welcome pain relief and I dont like needles!!! Cant have them all!

Oh gosh so many people with possible caesarians etc! I feel less alone now. Perhaps an uncomplicated birth is rare and we're lucky in a way to know in advance some of what's coming.

@Avocuddles that DVT sounds terrifying! I'm glad you're being monitored and it sounds good that you're prepared for all eventualities, lets cross our fingers for an uncomplicated birth because of course that is still an option for both of us.

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm sure the receptionist can handle some feedback, and anything you do give to her she will be cushioned by her employers and it wont be given to her in a harsh or scary way. I think the role of a receptionist in that setting is so important and as you say its a stressful time anyway, let alone with what you've gone through. Presumably the entire reason they put that big sticker on your notes is because of how hard it is for women in your position and to alert all staff to it and to prompt them to be a bit gentler with you!

Thanks for your comments on the labour ward. The only time I've ever been in hospital was for the miscarriage, and that was in a ward with just a curtain drawn between me and four other women who were all in various levels of pain and suffering. The emergency gynae ward was not a fun place! So I think thats the only image I have of being in hospital. Obviously the labour ward will be different - I had been picturing just having a thin curtain between me and the next woman but I'm hoping (I hope!) you get your own room, and if they are more aware in the modern age of lighting etc and allow you to bring stuff in to make it more comfortable then that is workable. Playing music is the one thing I feel really strongly about and that would be impossible on a ward/room stuffed with other women giving birth! So that's made me feel better.

@Whiffle77 I understand what you mean about at least the pressure of choice is taken away. There is a certain relief in at least thinking "well I don't have a choice about it so I just need to adapt to this now".

@MOGMOGMOG85 if you have a look online your hospital might have a virtual tour available online (I just googled the hospital name +maternity tour) ours is from a while ago so I think some things will have changed. Here's the link, I know it's not for your hospital but might put you at ease a bit

You shouldn't expect to be laboring in a room with other women. It's generally a private room with a door. You might end up on a ward with other people for your postpartum care if you're admitted, but for the birth you will have you own room.

I think I'm one of the few on here who is hoping to have an uncomplicated birth, as there is no medical history that links to my losses (that I know of). At the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you and baby are safe and well looked after, but t having that happen in a nice positive environment is a bonus

Can't believe it's that time again, but updating my weeks. It feels like time is just slipping through my fingers at the moment, can believe I've got 15 weeks to go (though family history suggests I'll go over, this could end up being an October baby 😂)

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake** 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 21wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 22wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 14wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

New week for me as well! Its going quickly but also so slowly.

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake** 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 14wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

New week for me too, seems to be flying by now - long may it continue!! Now my symptoms have dropped I dont feel that pregnant, but I am starting to look it - looking forward to my bump continuing to grow! Not told work yet, I dont want everyone to know as of yet but I think I will have to in the next few weeks to give them a chance to replace me. Plus people will start going back into the office soon so I need to know their take on that.

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake** 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

Hello,
Lots to catch up on, sorry if I miss anybody...

@Shefliesonherownwings Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry you've had such an awful time of it. You should absolutely complain if you feel able. I'm in the middle of complaining about the admin of my hospital (they were sending appointment letters for my last pregnancy 3 months after I miscarried there). My thoughts were I didn't want anyone to go through that. If you have the energy, it could really help others. I'm glad you got to see the Consultant you needed to in the end.

Really interesting reading everyone's birth plans. I won't bore with the details of mine as I've banged on about it before, but I'm basically choosing between induction or section as I'm old & I'm very unlikely to go into labour naturally before 40 weeks. BUT, I think I am going to negotiate my due date. My own dates (based on OPKS) are 4 days behind the dating scan, which makes quite a big difference if they want me in early. I've also been reading extensively about planned sections vs induction. I am very much concerned about the induction option, especially the drip, and the unknowns on how that can affect the baby (oxytocin doesn't cross the blood/brain barrier in the baby, but syntocinon does) and also how my lack of hormones in an induction remove a lot of the benefits of a vaginal birth to the baby. I've got 4.5 typed pages of questions for the consultant when I see her next month, she's going to love me!! My current thinking (if possible) is that I want to leave it as late as possible while keeping everyone safe, try the pessary induction, but go straight to section if that fails and not have the drip. But that could change many times in the next 18 weeks!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I gave birth last time in the labour ward as I was 42 weeks so considered too high risk for the MLU. It was lovely! I arrived at 4cm, so went straight to private room, they immediately told my husband how to switch the lights low, where the plugs were for music. They got me a birthing ball as I wanted to be active. Only one person came in a time and spoke in quiet voices. It only changed for the last half an hour when it became an emergency situation and my son needed getting out asap, which is what you'd expect anywhere really. But I couldn't fault the set up more, I hadn't had a tour as was really set on a home birth, but by the time I was in active labour and at the hospital, it didn't matter, I was just in my bubble and they helped keep me there.

Hope everyone is having a good week. I'm feeling movements every day now, usually after lunch and in the evening. And in the middle of the night. I can tell she's still breech as it's all really low down kicks. Really lovely to feel, although can't feel anything from the outside yet. Still haven't put on much weight, even though I look massive. I'm just becoming less dense!

And I'll update my weeks since I'm on the laptop, I've done you as well @hagster x

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 25 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake** 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 23wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 23wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 22wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 22wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 15wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

Hello do you mind if I join - don’t know for how long...

Am a mess of anxiety and stress at the moment. Had a miscarriage just over eight weeks ago. Was a missed miscarriage and I had surgical management. Was lucky and managed to get this privately as the nhs wanted expectant management. Private doctor was lovely and we decided to use her if I got pregnant again. Waited for my first period then tried again. And to my surprise I am now pregnant!

I think I ovulated on or around 31 May. So it is about nine dpo. Got my first positive two days ago - really barely there though. Yesterday was clearer and today I got pregnant weeks 1-2 on a clear blue digital.

So worried it is still hcg left over after the miscarriage. Did do a pregnancy test and believe that was either completely or almost completely negative about three weeks after the miscarriage.

Doctor sent me for blood tests today. Levels are low (she thinks because I am so early). Progesterone was 59.7 nmol/L and hcg was 15.9 IU/L. Have googled and they seem to be ok if I am about nine dpo.

She said I should take progesterone pessaries three times a day - have these and am taking them starting today. And to test again on Monday and if still positive I will have another blood test.

Miscarriage was due to chromosonal disorder - trisomy 13.

So I don’t know what I am asking. Everything seems fine. It might of course be a chemical. Will find out soon if that’s the case. But then I think oh yes but then it might be a blighted ovum and if it is not that then it might have a chromosome problem and it will be another miscarriage....

Can anyone help me feel less anxious and has anyone done these tests when they found out they were pregnant? I am 40 and although I don’t seem to have a problem falling pregnant that won’t be an advantage unless I can actually stay pregnant...

@ranoutofgoodnames Welcome to this thread. I think I recognise your name from the November thread? Really sorry to hear about your experience with MMC. I had one on my last pregnancy, so I do understand how difficult it is. Gentle congratualtions on your positive pregnancy test. I cannot offer any definitive advice on your HcG levels at this point, but I'm sure some of the other women on here may have experienced similar and be able to offer some words of reassurance. As you said, if you had a precious negative test following your surgical management, then I would assume this is a good sign that your current positive is a new pregnancy.

@AnxiousLady1 thanks so much for replying x yes I was on the November thread - doesn’t seem that long ago but feels a lifetime ago xx

Hi Ladies, May i Join!?

I had a 23 week loss of my baby girl in Feb this year, she was due sunday just gone which was so hard, however iv been so blessed to find out we are 6 weeks pregnant again and due Feb 21, I had an early scan on Monday and all was well (this new baby is due The same week my daughter was born but 2021 😳) I wondered if anyone had similar story of pregnancy following a preterm labour loss at over 20 weeks and can tell me what to expect this time round 🙏💖💙🌈 ... I want to make sure i have the care i should be getting now Im classed as high risk x x

Welcome @Ranoutofgoodnames and @Hayleylou89. Gentle congratulations to you both on your pregnancies. All of us on here know the fears and anxieties that come with pregnancy after loss and everyone here is lovely and supportive.

@Hayleylou89 I had a full term loss last November. My daughter passed away during labour. I'm now 18 weeks pregnant with her little brother. This baby is due on the anniversary of the day we found out my daughter had died but I won't be going to full term this time. I'm aiming for an elective C section at 38 weeks.

DH and I aren't going back to the same hospital this time. We saw a consultant privately and they recommended another consultant at our hospital so at my booking in we asked for her and we're now under her care. DH and I have been for several private scans for reassurance which has helped my anxiety.

After my 20 week scan I'll be having monthly scans and I'm guessing regular consultant/midwife appointments. I think a few of us on here are on aspirin. I take 75mg at night.

In terms of your care I guess it depends on whether there were any underlying reasons for your loss that you might need medication or monitoring for. Do you have a bereavement midwife you can speak to? Also have a look at the SANDS website, there is a pregnant after loss section which is very helpful. I've learned that you may need to push for what you want in terms of extra care so if you haven't already, get your referral to the hospital done and hopefully they'll be in contact asap.

Welcome @Ranoutofgoodnames and @Hayleylou89 you are in excellent company, this is the most supportive group of women 💕 hopefully you will be here for the long haul x

I had my chat with work yesterday - they were ringing everyone individually to explain the company's financial situation and to see how we were all doing. They don't see anyone going back to work til next May, so I am now definitely going straight from furlough to maternity on 1st September. Feels very strange to have it all confirmed. Ideally I would have had my holiday before Mat leave but they are deferring all holiday to next year so I will just have it at the end instead.

I should have a straightforward birth, I am definitely going to hospital rather than midwife unit though. I would rather be where the doctors are if it did all go wrong, not a 30 minute ambulance ride away. The actual rooms at both seem similar anyway, and dh is adamant we go to the hospital just for peace of mind. Also if I were blue lighted from midwife unit to hospital he wouldn't be allowed in the ambulance which would just be awful. I'm not fussed about a water birth but want to stay as active as possible throughout.

Ah felt a big kick yesterday which was lovely. So far every time I grab his hand to feel she stops kicking!

Thanks @TunnocksTcake

@Shefliesonherownwings Wow that was hard to read ur story, I cnt imagine what u went through it sounds traumatic, but so happy for ur rainbow boy 🌈... I has a sneaky feeling this one will be a boy for me too.
We never got no real reason why my water broke so early there was nothing wrong with the baby but i suspect it may have something to do with a lletz treatment and biopsies i had taken a few years back but the hosp dnt think it was that, when i get to 16 weeks they will check my cervical length and see if i need a stitch and i guess if i need a stitch ill know thats what happened last time, think thats the only way ill know. I did have an infection in my blood but thats because the membranes had ruptured and i didnt know, i and was in hospital for 5 days before she passed away trying to get to a better weight for her to be born but the infection got to her 💔 xx

@Hayleylou89 so sorry for your loss and sending lots of positivity this time. ❤️

Thanks @Anon20something 😘 x