Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

24 weeks today! Feels like such a huge milestone. Feeling lots of movement which is really reassuring! Still terrified, trying not to jinx anything but just hoping in 14 weeks time I get to bring this little guy home ❤️

Thanks @AnxiousLady1! Do you know when I've seen people saying they are FTM in here before I assumed they were FTM trans haha! I only just twigged that it is first time mums because your post would have made little sense in that context! I actually think I'm being overly anxious about my belly because of my low PAPP-A scores, but the way my partner keeps reacting to any sight of my belly kind of tells me that it is rounding out a bit as he wasn't doing this a week ago (rushing up and rubbing it or speaking to it!!!) I also caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I definitely have a little paunch going on so I prob just need to wait a couple more weeks for it to get a bit more pronounced :)

Congrats @Anon20something what a gorgeous bump! I'm jealous haha! xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you! Having two babies in a year has made this bump pop early, I feel much bigger and finding it harder already than I did late on with lily!

Feeling like now is the time to start parting with my baby girl clothes that she didn’t get to wear and buy more for baby boy.. so hard. I don’t want to part with them but with us having the 1 in 4 chance we won’t be trying again!

Bump update, haven't done one for a while (I think) 29+3! Almost 3/4 of the way there

@Anon20something I'm so glad it's not just me finding it harder earlier on after 2 pregnancies in less than 2 years! I'm struggling to sleep much earlier than I did with Isla, my bump feels heavy and massive and I'm only 18 weeks. God knows how I'll look at 30 something, assuming all goes well. My sister in law is 22 weeks and looks smaller and neater but this is her first I guess.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

@Shefliesonherownwings I’ve had a few people commenting in shops and things that I shouldn’t carry anything being so heavily pregnant... I’m like nope, only 24 weeks! I’ll be amazed if I make it to 38 weeks to be honest! Sciatica is horrendous, lightening crotch (if you know you deffo know!!) and I’m just so tired and heavy! I’m definitely finding this stretch really tough between scans too, thankfully I have a midwife appointment next week, I haven’t seen her since my booking appt!

Hello ladies! Can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I checked in on here, I have no idea where the time is going at the minute. Glad to see some positive updates and lots of gorgeous bumps coming along 😊
I'm now 24 weeks - woohoo! Congrats to my fellow 24 weekers, I personally can't believe it but so grateful to have made it this far.
We have painted the nursery and will start furnishing it now, more than anything else to give me something to do. I found out I'm not going to be returning to work before baby, have a chat with my bosses on Tuesday but it sounds like they are going to be making mass redundancies as events sector not looking good until May next year. So in this case my little girl may have just saved me my job as I can go straight from furlough to mat leave and postpone holiday to next year. No idea what I would be doing if I weren't pregnant, it's all a bit scary.
I have been getting stronger and stronger movements as the weeks go by but I do find myself freaking out if I don't feel her for a period of time, even if I know it's likely because I have been busy or whatever. Hard to know if your movements are normal and what counts as reduced etc but I'm trying to keep a level head. Luckily I can just go and lie down with a cold drink and she usually prods me but the anxiety is still very much there!

Updating weeks:

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 24 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 23wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 22wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 22wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 22wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 21wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 22wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 14wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

Happy Monday Ladies!

Counting down the days to my next scan, but feeling a little bit more relaxed about it. Starting to wonder if I am starting to feel a couple of flutters. Again, not sure if I am just picking up on something else, but it feels like a very brief tickle on inside of my tummy. Had it a few times over last couple days while lying on the couch. Very subtle, but enough for me to notice I guess!

@TunnockTcake - congrats on reaching 24 weeks! While I know the next few weeks to my scan will ove really slow, I know I have that at 22 weeks, then midwife face to face at 23, and then the 24 week milestone after. So I will have a few hurdles close together which will be good. I will be like you with the movement. I am desperate for them to fully kick in to have that reassurance, but I fully know that it will likely make me more anxious if the baby isnt tap dancing inside me 24/7!!

Updating my weeks

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 24 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 23wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 22wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 22wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 22wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 21wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 22wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 18wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 14wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

It's been a while since I've been on here. Had a difficult few weeks. It was the due date of the baby I lost last month, I'm still having a stressful time at work. We were in the process of buying a house and was meant to move on Thursday but we've had to pull out as there were major issues with the boiler and oil tank that they had misled us on, and I've had to cut ties with my mum. She was so unkind about my miscarriage and she hasn't handled this pregnancy very well accusing me of being selfish, bringing up my kids in poverty and making out that I'm dirty and incompetent. She has moved away with her boyfriend who is very well off and gives her the life style and status she has always craved and I don't fit in to. The final straw is her declaration that she has no interest in being a grandparent to my kids.
I've had a week to really mull over things and to look at life more positively. As heartbreaking as my miscarriage was, I have been gifted with two babies. The house wasn't safe to move into, and although we need more space; we have a roof over our heads, we are all healthy and have no financial worries and each other which is far luckier then many other people's situation. And our forever home may be just around the corner. with annual leave, and time they owe me I should be finishing work in a month. And in regards to my mum, she is the one that is missing out on the joy and love of being a grandma and a mother. She has made her choice and I need to make mine to keep myself mentally well. I will always love her but I don't need to allow her the opportunity to bring me down and hurt me.
My bump has truly popped now, and I can feel them both wriggling away. I have moments when the anxiety creeps back in and on the scan one of the babies is measuring a little small, but I seem to be reining in the crazy and able to rationalise rather then expecting it to all go wrong. Sending much love to all you ladies. This is a hard journey, but rewarding to

Updating weeks:

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 24 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 23wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 21wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 22wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 14wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@TunnocksTcake congratulations on 24 weeks, that definitely felt like a massive milestone to me!

@AnxiousLady1 pleased that you're feeling a bit calmer, it's such a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm feeling consistent movements now in a morning and evening, but my goblin is definitely most active at night...looks like it might take after DH 🙈. He's mentioned getting lots of kicks when he comes to bed at 4-5 am (he's working night shift) so I think this one likes to sleep through the day! Hopefully that's not a sign of things to come.

@Sunflower1608 it sounds like you've had a really difficult few weeks. I'm sorry to hear that the house wasn't right, but hopefully you'll soon find a lovely forever home. It much more important to live somewhere safe. I'm a bit lost for words on what to say on the situation with you mum. You're right though, she's the one who's missing out on a huge amount of joy because of her selfishness. Your babies are very lucky to have a wonderful mammy, who will do everything in her power for them. Try to be kind to yourself, none of this is on you xx

Morning all, hope everyone is doing ok. I have a consultant appointment this afternoon. Hopefully we can talk in detail about how regularly I'll be having scans and appointments after my 20 week scan in 2 weeks. I need to know when my appointments are so I can focus on that. I'm hoping I can at least have monthly scans. I had hoped DH could come in as he has questions too but it's looking unlikely. I know it's the position hospitals have to take but I am getting really frustrated with going on my own, I find it so triggering sat in a waiting room surrounded by all these happy posters and videos. I wish they could make an exception for some of us.

On the plus side, after our scan on wednesday last week, I think I'm feeling some flutters, like tiny little bubbles in there. I didnt really feel much with Isla until about 24 weeks as I had an anterior placenta so it's nice to be feeling something at 18 weeks this time.

@Anon20something the time between appointments is so hard, it really drags doesn't it. I understand if you're not thinking so far ahead but have they said when you might deliver yet? Sorry you're struggling with sciatica, I've had it in the past and it is agony.

@Sunflower1608 I'm sorry about your mum, that is so incredibly hurtful of her. I'm stunned she could behave that way and say those things. I have also gone NC with my dad after he behaved unforgivably after losing Isla. It was the last straw in a long line of behaviours. Sounds like you're in a better headspace with it all though and it is 100% her loss and not yours. I find that self protection is key and you need to be selfish and do whatever you need to, to look after yourself. Sorry about your house too.

Hope it is an good week for everyone xxx

@Shefliesonherownwings I’m getting induced at 38 weeks again, scans at 28 and 34 as well. Sciatica this time round is far worse, I’m sure it’s because he’s moving more!

Hi everyone! So we've made it to 24 weeks, excited to have reached this milestone though the nerves are still going strong. Definitely been feeling stronger kicks over the past few days and yesterday was the first time that we saw a couple of ripples from the outside and he managed to feel some movements - it was his birthday too so particularly lovely for him to have had that experience. We ordered a Snuzpod bedside crib yesterday and it turned up this morning so I can definitely recommend online4baby.com for speedy service! Won't assemble it for a while yet but feels like a big step forward to actually have bought something a bit more 'major'. I've also just ordered the nursery furniture but looking at around a 4 week wait for that to be delivered.

Congratulations to the other new 24 weekers - @Sunflower1608 @TunnocksTcake @didslysquiddlydoo we've all come such a long way!

@TunnocksTcake I'm trying hard to not let myself obsess too much over movements at the moment though am starting to identify more patterns in terms of when she moves. Like you say a cold drink tends to do the job but it's hard to know what's 'normal' when every baby is different. Exciting that you've got the nursery painting done, have you decided how you're going to furnish it?

@Rachael321 @Anon20something your bumps look great. Sharing a gratuitous bump shot taken this morning - depending on what I'm wearing sometimes you can barely tell I'm pregnant but when my belly is out or I'm wearing something tight it's pretty hard to ignore!

@MOGMOGMOG85 try not to worry too much about bump or lack off. Because I was ill at 12 weeks, at 14 weeks I was actually the lightest and slimmest I'd been in several years! I've been taking photos every week and it was only around weeks 17 to 18 that my stomach became visibly rounded, it then seemed to pop out a lot over a matter of days. I've still only gained a few pounds but definitely gained a lot of belly now, there are others at the same stage who have gained two stone, and others who are barely 'showing'. My consultant did a good job of reassuring me that there's nothing to worry about, we're all different so enjoy the stage where you can still sleep on your stomach and see your own bikini line! 😆

@Ibaadsmummy it's only natural to get anxious when you have a scan coming up, I was in a bad state the week or so leading up to my 20 week scan but hopefully when you're in that room all of the anxiety will melt away.

Updating my dates....

@Bellsx 29wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 29wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Hoping2020 25wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 25wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 24 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 24wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 24wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 24wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 24wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 24wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 23wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 23wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 21wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 22wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 17wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 17wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 16wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 15wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 14wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 14wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 7 weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Shefliesonherownwings exciting that you are getting flutters! Mine felt like bubbles/ ripples then went to that feeling you get when you go over a hump backed bridge or on a rollercoaster where your tummy flips! Such a weird feeling.

@Sunflower1608 sorry about your mum, that sounds such a difficult thing to go through when you're hormonal and pregnant. You are right that she is the one who will miss out, but that probably doesn't make it any easier

@Avocuddles congrats on 24 weeks 😁😁 lovely bump you've got going on there! I need to take my next progress pic. hard to believe we've come so far isn't it?! We have ordered a few things for decorating, got a sort of coral and mint green/ teal theme going on (better than it sounds in reality, hoping it will be lovely and bright and happy to get us through winter!) Im hoping to get the actual cot on Facebook marketplace, there are loads on there and I have already got a really decent bouncer and car mirror from there. Can't wait to get the drawers set up and organised 😬

I've got a call with work tomorrow to discuss the next year or so. They don't think they will be operational til May 2021 so I think they will be making lots of redundancies, but hoping I will escape by just going from furlough to maternity then I will tag this years holiday on the end. Such a rubbish time for our industry (entertainment/ events) I do feel for them. 🙁

Ladies I have had such an emotional rollercoaster of a day here, I'm exhausted. I had a consultant appointment today with a consultant specially recommended to us so I was keen to meet her in person and get her views on this pregnancy. When I go to the hospital I was told I didn't have an appointment, they had no record of it. My midwife booked the appointment in at my booking in and she and I spoke about it several times as she knew we were keen to see this particular consultant so I knew I had the time and date right. At the hospital, I asked to speak to the midwife but was told she was on lunch. I asked if I could wait for her to finish to have a word and the receptionist was such a cow. Rude, abrupt, unhelpful. I had to put my foot down a bit, which is very unlike me and in the end they said they would fit me in.

When I did get called in it was to see another doctor, not the one we were meant to see. She was nice but she didn't know what our situation was. She faffed around with my notes from my last pregancy and couldn't find the details she wanted so just asked me what happened. DH was on speakerphone but couldn't really hear what was happening so he couldn't explain and I ended up having a total meltdown. Full on sobbing and heaving. I managed to tell the doctor I couldn't talk about it and she went out to ask the midwives if DH could come in and they said he could. I just couldn't hold back at all and properly cried on him when he came in. I haven't cried like that in ages. I think it was partly frustration with the situation and receptionist too.

In the end we saw the actual consultant we wanted to who was lovely. She's booked me in for monthly scans, said I could come in for CTG monitoring later on for reassurance, has got the ball rolling for a c section and has booked us in for 2 weeks time with her. She is allowing DH to come in as well. I was so relieved with seeing her I cried all over again.

I had to deal with the rude receptionist again at the end to book my appointment in 2 weeks and she was so unhelpful again. I know it's stressful for staff but she was so mean. I'm exhausted after all that. I'm relieved it worked out ok but annoyed it got to that level of stress. I still feel teary now. Sorry for the long rant, but I just had to get it out and I know you lot will understand.

@Shefliesonherownwings I’m sorry that you had such a bad experience today. I know how hard it can be when you’re on your own and having to explain everything and you’re caught ‘off guard’! I’m glad DH was able to come be with you and I hope your next appt is much gentler! Xx

@Shefliesonherownwings sorry you had such a tough day, the initial treatment you received is appalling but I'm glad you stood your ground. The actual consultant sounds great and it's good that they're allowing your DH to be involved throughout, I understand why the current safeguards are in place but in your case you really need him there for multiple reasons, not least the emotional support you (both) so desperately need after what you've been through. I'm really glad you'll be getting plenty of extra support, scans and monitoring, and hope that it makes you feel a little more at ease knowing that it's there x

@Shefliesonherownwings that sounds awful :( it sounds like a lot of the upset and angst could have been averted if the receptionist had just been empathic and a bit more helpful - maybe you should put in a complaint! So awful that they lost your appointment too - glad you got to see the consultant in the end though.

@Avocuddles congratulations on your lovely bump! You're right I should be pleased to be sleeping on my stomach, I'll try and stop thinking about it for a few weeks :)

I had a telephone appointment with the consultant yesterday about my fibroids and was really upset afterwards. Well panicked more. I knew most of the stuff she said but I had thought it was maybe a worst case scenario and had managed to stop worrying about it. But now I know I have to give birth in hospital due to increased risk of PPH and she said I will be given strong drugs as soon as the baby is out to deliver the placenta asap and contract my womb down. In a way it's a relief to know they are looking after me but I had sort of hoped risk of haemorrhage was lower than that... Has anyone had to have these drugs before and what is it like?

The other thing we spoke about was fibroid degeneration. I am at increased risk of this happening during the pregnancy because of the type of one of my fibroids - its basically tissue death and although its not harmful its apparently one of the worst pains you can have and you have to be hooked up on morphine in the hospital. I'm also at increased risk of it happening after the pregnancy because of my other fibroids! I guess if I was to wish for a situation it would be for it to happen after...

Then she talked about my high risk of pre-eclampsia again which I've been trying to put to the back of my mind. I'm only 14 weeks and was trying to sort of ease myself towards thinking about the pain and the potential risks of childbirth and trying to build a positive feeling of trusting my body etc - there is something quite disempowering about realising the birth may very well just be lead by doctors and it may spin out of my control more than I realised if that makes sense.

I don't know if I'm more scared of degeneration of PPH. I think the degeneration scares me more , even though it's not dangerous, because I imagine being on morphine and hospitalised whilst pregnant is awful, and I'm scared that the pain could strike suddenly at any time. If it happens earlier on in the pregnancy there's a chance it could go on and on for weeks. I'm trying to think about the risk of bleeding that I will be managed and it will be ok. Don't like the idea of those strong drugs but I guess it will finish everything off quickly at least...

I'm sure I'll recover soon it just throws a spanner in the works when you've been casually contemplating water births etc and trying to think positively! I have my positive birth book - now I know that I need to read the section on hospital births at least, but I don't feel I'll be confident to expect certain preferences during the birth as in reality I probably should just submit to what the doctors want and I'm worried it's going to be a lot of intervention :(

Hi lovely ladies, thanks for updating me @Avocuddles ! 24 weeks yesterday, feels big - especially when you say you're 6 months pregnant! 😱 I feel regular movements now, always about 2h after breakfast, later afternoon and very active in the evening! Please don't worry about movements if you're before 20 weeks as I didn't feel a thing until about the same week as my 20 week scan, and I have a posterior placenta, not anterior.

I have also been super worried about bump size and weight gain but he measured perfectly on 51 centile last week when I went for a checkup, so people just carry differently! Bump pic is from the gym this morning 😄 Loving everyone else's bump pics! ❤️

How is everyone feeling? I'm feeling good but often need a nap after lunch, I'm trying to sleep as much as can before the baby gets here 🤣

Also my work are digging their heels in about antenatal appointments being taken as annual leave and I feel really pissed off about it and don't know what to do next. They didn't even mention that ACAS document I sent them saying it shouldn't be taken as annual leave. I think they are just going to make me do it knowing that I'm not exactly going to pay to get a lawyer involved over a week or so of annual leave.. I'm a bit stuck. They also claim they don't have a maternity policy which I find really strange since they are a primary school who have been around for 70 years! I've asked my boyfriend to email an employment solicitor he knows to get an opinion on the annual leave thing but not sure what I'll do now.

@SunStruck ah thanks for your words re: movement and bump! That's a reminder to myself not to get wound up over the coming weeks! Glad things are going well for you and you're measuring well! Sleeping sounds like a good plan - I woke at 4.30 this morning for no reason and couldn't get back to sleep, hopefully I can go for a nap later as I'm now on furlough.. xx

Slowly going through all the posts I've missed!

@Sunflower1608 that is so awful
About your mum! Well it is her loss, and I'm in awe over your positive mentality and how you're handling it. Very impressive but really not what you need now when pregnant! And sorry about the house but I'm sure it's meant to be and a better house will come along eventually!

@TunnocksTcake sorry to hear about your industry struggles, but I think you're more protected as pregnant so fingers crossed the market is back to fairly normal when it's your time to come back! Our industry is also struggling so I can't wait to go on maternity leave 🤣

@Shefliesonherownwings that sounds absolutely awful, you should complain about the receptionist! That's unacceptable. I'm glad to hear the consultant took you seriously and that you have many appointments booked already to ease your mind. And that your DH can always come in with you, it's a special situation he should be allowed!

Have you ladies thought about a birth plan yet? My Dr asked me last week. I'm definitely going for the epidural after having read up lots about natural vs epidural (my fear with epidural is that I won't be able to feel that I need to push, so the labour will be longer and they might have to use forceps to get the baby out in the end - I think it seems like such a violent way to come into the world, so if I can avoid that it's imperative for me). Also another fear is that I'd tear more easily because you can't feel the pain, but the Dr put my mind to rest about both the scenarios so I can't see why not use epidural. I have a high pain threshold in general so would not be afraid to give birth naturally without it, but there doesn't seem to be any real cons with epidural and just pros so I can't see why not.. telling myself no one ever won any prizes for having the most painful birth 😂

@MOGMOGMOG85 sorry that work are still being difficult with you. If they're saying they don't have a maternity policy then I would make the assumption that it's the legal minimum of up to 1 year off and statutory maternity pay

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/rights-at-work/parental-rights/maternity-leave-what-youre-entitled-to-and-how-to-get-it/

It sounds like they're leading you down the garden path if I'm honest, a private school like that, I would imagine will have a decent package in place to attract the type of staff they want.

Remember that for advice and support you don't have to necessarily hire a lawyer. You can contact Maternity Action, Citizens Advice and ACAS direct, they will all get be you advice and support free of charge. It definitely feels like they're trying to get around having to do right my you. It might be worth asking for a copy of your contract if they don't have/won't give you a copy of the maternity policy (which should be the same for everyone, no matter their pay grade). Don't forget that your not being "difficult" or awkward, this is your legal right and they can't treat you differently because you're the gardener rather than a teacher or office staff.

On the birth thing, try to remember that while you might not be able to have a water "birth" you might well be able to labor in the water up to a point etc. I'd suggest it's something to have a good long chat with the midwife about, just because you need additional medical support/intervention doesn't mean that you have no say in you birth. Try to keep your chin you, there plenty of time to work out the links and end up at birth preferences that work for you and for the doctor's x

@Shefliesonherownwings sorry that you had such and awful day, I'd think about leaving some feedback for the receptionist, doesn't have to be a formal complaint if you don't want to go down that route, but you could suggest some sensitivity given that women in very difficult circumstances are having to attend appointments alone. I'm glad that the midwife was sensible and got your DH in to help you get yourself together and that you eventually managed to have a positive appointment.

@SunStruck you're looking great! The few people I've seen (other than my parents) have mentioned "haven't you put weight on your legs/hips" which is a touch disheartening. I was doing 5-7 hours of aerial sports, running 5k once a week and walking up to 10k twice a week pre-pregnacy, but a combination of sickness and Corona virus have obviously put paid to that. I feel like I maybe need to find some pregnancy friendly workouts to go with my 2 longer walks a week!

@Avocuddles congratulations on 24 weeks another brilliant milestone!

@SunStruck I think we crossed posts 😂 I'm hoping to avoid the epidural because there is something called a cascade of interventions that can mean that because you've had one thing they have to give you more other "things" to go with it.

I also can think of anything worse than having to stay in bed on my back being "turned" by the nurses with no use of my legs. I agree that there are no prizes (other than the baby 😂) but from my research an epidural definitely isn't for me. Nurse Zabe on YouTube has a brilliant, neutral video on epidural, with the positives and the negatives. She's an American labor and delivery nurse and has personally delivered both ways so I thought it was a really good, none scary video with lots of info (I'd recommend her whole channel as a great resource). But for me it also solidified that I really want to avoid the epidural or narcotics if at all possible. I'm actually going to request in my birth plan/preferences not to be offered pain relief, so that it's something I ask for, rather than feeling pressured into accepting it. I know that's not for everyone, but I don't tend to react well to drugs, I can't even take codiene 😂.

My preference would be to labor and deliver in a birthing pool with gas and air, if thats not available I would want to labor actively with a tens machine (I use one on a low setting for my period pain and it's amazing, there is still an open question about whether I might have endometriosis so that might give you a feeling on pain levels)

@Shefliesonherownwings I feel teary just reading your post. God what an awful experience.