What do they not tell you about labour...

[BabyB19]

17 weeks to go until I meet my little one, with antenatal classes cancelled until the end of never Im trying to prepare myself as much as possible for labour, does anyone want to share their experience with me? Anything I need to expect that I may not have been told...? ❤️

@BabyB19 fancy seeing you here 🤣 the only thing I would say that no one told me about which isn't actually labour more the following days is you have small painful contractions (after birth pains) for your uterus returning to normal size ..... they were a shock and took me by surprise 🤣

With my first 7 years ago the midwife stuck her finger up my bottom, I was absolutely mortified however she was checking I didn't tear inside. I laugh about it now but I will never forget how stunned I was!

For me although painful, it's the most amazing,scary, beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I wish you well x

Every labour is different, keep an open mind, you can get 300 replies here and 300 totally different experiences.

Your body makes the same hormone during labour and while breast feeding as during sex. Some women actually orgasm during labour (apparently) [erm]

I know there is no textbook @ThatsWhatHeroesDo but things like @MoonlightMistletoe insight will help as I'm glad I now know there's chance of a finger up the bum 😭🤣
Oh hi there @MrsCl19 fancy that! I assumed I would be very sore after but didn't know there pains as such! Thank you 🥰

Omg really? @GinghamStyle that would be a nice bonus if my mum wasn't going to be ok the room with me! 🤣

That you may pass some clots afterwards (midwives will tell your what to look out for and when you should be concerned - from memory anything smaller than a pound coin is fine but bigger needs to be examined by a health professional) and the bleeding is so much more than I expected!

Congratulations! x

Ime after the birth and the initial hugs with your baby that love with fade into second place when your mw asks if you would like a bath /shower...

I’d love to hear these too! I’m 24 weeks and feeling totally clueless 😂

The best advice I was given during antenatal class was that pain relief can take time so it's best to request it as soon as you think you need it rather than wait until you're desperate. No one told me the amount of blood after giving birth would make the shower look like a scene from a horror movie.

I gave birth on all fours with dh rubbing the small of my back and had a very positive experience. I used clary sage essential oils mixed with a massage oil base in early labour and found that really useful to calm me.

Good luck, try to relax and go with your instincts, its amazing how the body takes over.

If you have an epidural you may not be stable on your feet for some time after! I got off the bed to go to the loo and nearly collapsed

That you’ll phone up the labour ward and they’ll tell you not to come in and to take paracetamol as it’ll be ages. Trust your body and go when you need to. I was 9cm dilated when I got there!

that even if you have a c section you still bleed for weeks afterwards... I had an emergency c section so hadn't done any research and I just assumed they would suck all the blood out with their suction thingy so it was a surprise when I still bled just as much as I would have done otherwise haha.

Not necessarily labour, I found that part easy. It was afterwards.

Not to be brutal but first shower and the amount of “stuff” which comes out was truly horrific for me and just not feeling clean for a couple of weeks, even though I showered twice a day. Your body obviously is breaking down and getting rid of everything which is no longer required.

Secondly, Being woken on the ward at 3am for a doctors check. Totally did not expect that!

Oh and you may poop! They do clear it away rather quickly though.

Finally, for me contractions feel like period cramps. I didn’t realise I was in labour for the first hour.

Sorry to be rather blunt about the first part, I actually wish someone had told me this as I was thinking it was only me and that I should probably get my marigolds on and clean it up!

Labour pains are better dealt with standing up than lying down.

One thing I took away from my NCT classes 2 years ago was question everything. If midwives want you to do something ask why. Your partner is going to be you're advocate as you might be so out of it. Make sure he/she knows this. If there's an emergency with baby, get your partner to stay with the baby, go where the baby goes. Also if you need a c section don't be alarmed if there are A LOT of people in the theatre with you.

I had an epidural and it was amazing. But I do feel it slowed my labour down.

Midwives really shouldn't be shoving their fingers up your bum without getting prior consent. I ended up having a spinal block and wouldn't have felt anything if the whole hospital had jammed digits up there but the staff let me know what was going on.

Sometimes babies move their heads when they are almost out and get well and truly stuck and need dragging out in a hurry against their will, hence the spinal block.

I had a relatively easy labour (I think) but always planned to take any drugs I was offered. Well, turns out they don't offer, and by the time I needed them I was incapable of asking (either in the midst of a contraction, or marshalling strength for the next one). So bear that in mind!

Everyone talks about how painful it is. I remember some pain, but my overriding memory is that it was just incredibly hard work. Like running a marathon on your uterus.

That the bleeding afterwards is ridiculously heavy. I remember showering after the birth and getting out of the shower with blood still running down my legs. I may as well not have bothered. Take lots of maternity pads!

That your first wee will literally fall out if you but don't worry that's normal

I know it's obvious but I didn't realise the fact that contractions come and go means you aren't in constant pain, you can actually feel fine in between them. Made it a bit more manageable to just try and get to the end of the contraction for a rest.

Oh and yeah the bleeding afterwards is very heavy, get stocked up on the biggest maternity pads you can find and big knickers to put them in, no one really told me about this so was quite shocked xx

Afterpains
I didn't use any pain relief during the labour with my ds, but needed plenty paracetamol for the first 2 or 3 days or so later, especially when feeding him. Ouch! I found them almost as painful as the labour pains. I think it's the uterus contracting back to its usual size? Anyway, nobody had told me about those.

A bit random, but my hair fell out in the months after the birth. I seemed to be the only woman on the planet who didn't know that that happens. So don't worry about it, it's normal.

Prepare for a possible c-section. I needed an emergency one with my dd. (Breech) I always skipped that chapter in the book !!

Newborns will lose some weight.

You will sleep again

I can't think of anything else

Good luck

That even if you end up with a c section you still bleed & need maternity pads etc (was not expecting that!)

That breastfeeding in the early days often gives you quite strong contractions

Everyone is different so you’ll get loads of “this will happen to you...” and the chances are it won’t but something else might

Surprises for me:

• lochia isn’t like normal period blood, look it up as it’s very odd in colour as it changes
• night sweats were a thing no one warned me about
• day 3 baby blues didn’t kick in for me until about 10 days in, they went after a few days but I wish I’d known they could come any time
• I packed about 5 bags for labour and ended up using about 5 things
• DH took videos and photos periodically throughout the whole thing, completely unobtrusive and I didn’t remember the whole experience so it has already been amazing looking back on them. Appreciate not everyone would like this
• emergency csection was totally fine, discharged 24 hours later on paracetamol and ibuprofen and felt totally normal again about 10 days later

It is an amazing amazing experience and even though mine ended in EMCS I would do it again tomorrow for the absolute high I got

Snap!