What do they not tell you about labour...

[BabyB19]

17 weeks to go until I meet my little one, with antenatal classes cancelled until the end of never Im trying to prepare myself as much as possible for labour, does anyone want to share their experience with me? Anything I need to expect that I may not have been told...? ❤️

That you may not have the urge to pee afterwards. I had to keep putting myself on the loo and then I'd go, was weird.

Prior to giving birth I had the impression that things got progressively more painful throughout - so, I anticipated pushing the baby out world be the worst bit. In fact, the time while I was dilating was the hard part, and when it came to pushing I didn't need any pain relief and just got on with it and felt pretty decent! I guess what I'd take from that is, if you're not as far as pushing yet and starting to second guess your pain relief plans and/or feel you can't do it, just know that actually you may be experiencing the worst bit already.

Yes to the night sweats! They are horrendous, I had to change my pj’s and bedding twice a night it was awful.

The biggest thing for me wasn’t the labour as everyone tells you their horror stories which prepares you but what I found frightening, was coming home with a baby and having the overwhelming feeling that this little bundle of joy is totally reliant on you. I have a big family and been around babies/children all my life but that terror I felt that I didn’t know what to do or how to look after a baby was awful. I think all 1st Time parents feel this way and after a couple of days/week you realise that you do know what to do and that terror goes.

That you might not feel a “rush of love” for your baby that everyone talks about.
I didn’t and thought there must be something wrong with me! My DS is nearly 6 months now and he’s my absolute world but it did take some time for me to bond properly with him.

Just realised this is an old thread and I’d already posted that 😂 I like to advise everyone I can about that cos it really worried me at the time

@SquigglyOne I'd rather hear it twice than not at all don't worry 🤣🤣

I know it's obvious but I didn't realise the fact that contractions come and go means you aren't in constant pain, you can actually feel fine in between them. Made it a bit more manageable to just try and get to the end of the contraction for a rest.

Unfortunately for me, my labours weren't like this. Constant contractions, back to back and overlapping for many many hours.

Best advice is push into your bottom (when the time comes) like you're doing a poo. If you need pain relief, be firm asking for it (for some reason midwives are reluctant to give pain relief).

Have a good birth partner with you, one who will stand up for you.

You may still look very pregnant after, this shocked me. The blood loss is bad after, and for me I needed ice down there as I was SO swollen.

Take paracetamol and ibuprofen with you. Take snacks, energy drinks maybe, keep your strength up (as oppose to with my firstborn when you weren't allowed anything).

The uterus contractions when breastfeeding hurt. In fact, breastfeeding hurts full stop.

My hair was so bad after the birth, lost lots of it every day. Didn't like that bit.

Milk doesn't always come in straight away, that's normal. It can take a few days.

Good luck!!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to this thread, I'm not due until January but it's been very informative. Normally I'm a Type A organiser and freak out of things don't go my way, so I'm thinking of not having a birth plan so I can't freak out of something doesn't go how I'd like it.

I know the one thing I do want is for DH to be the one to tell me the sex of the baby once it's born

The tea and toast afterwards will be thr best thing you've ever eaten, and the shower after that is second to none even though there's blood everywhere and your midwife may literally come in and check on you.

Oh, and the back pain... Everyone is different but my back felt like it was breaking, and my tailbone hurt for months.

It's amazing
(I was lucky mine were all straightforward natural labours and deliveries)

Be prepared for the following: pooing yourself (perfectly normal and the MW willnot bat an eyelid), being sick (hormones, drugs, both....), and best of all, possible incontinence afterwards. I did my PF exercises, but ended up with a tear and a catheter and had incontinence for weeks after. It's taken a year to get back to normal- Noone ever talks about it!!

If you are BF, invest in nipple cream (and body oil) and a comfy bra.

Ditto on sleep- at the time it feels like you will never function properly again but it does get better.

That the midwife will stick her finger up your bum after given birth to check you haven't torn between your birth canal and your colon. That was a shock when she did that!

Also that everything is so loose after giving birth that you don't have any hope of holding in any farts for the first night, so if you are on a ward it can be a little awkward but pretty much everyone else is in the same boat so you just have to grin and ignore it as best you can.

I found the incontinence pants from Aldi a great help. I put them on when my waters broke and they absorbed everything. Also wore them after labour for the first few nights.

I personally found boots maternity pads to be the most comfortable.

The big positive is that my maternity ward allowed me to order deliveroo to the labour suite after I had given birth so I got to indulge in my favourite takeaway after squeezing the baby out.

I've got 3DC and each labour was different.
First was back to back induced. I was very timid and had a crap midwife who pointed at the number on the induction drip and told me how much worse it was going to get. Told me I had to stay on the bed to be monitored but after hours new doctor arrived and realised things were very wrong and sent me for emcs (ds would have died if that doctor hadn't come in at that point)

So, from that I realised that I had to listen to my body and take no shit!

DC2 was VBAC. Fabulous experience. Stayed on my feet until the very last moments. I tore upwards around my urethra which stung like mad afterwards.

DC3 I stayed on my feet throughout and the midwife and I 'caught' dd as she arrived.

I agree, the contractions afterwards were a shock and painful for me.

I ate prunes for breakfast and loads to drink to dilute first wee.

I didn't experience night sweats.

Didn't use half the stuff in my bag (but can't remember which half annoyingly 😂)

I did a CD of hypnobirthing before DC2 and it worked brilliantly for me in my last 2 labours.

I tried tens machine in my first labour and nearly killed my husband when he turned it on.

Two things I would strongly advise (and will be doing myself as I am currently expecting DC4) is bounce on a birthing ball in the last 5 weeks to help avoid back to back. Or you can spend time on all 4s.
Secondly, stay upright, walking, leaning forward during labour. I will never lie down in labour again.

But also remember every woman and every labour is unique.

X

A previous poster said you can request checks, I didn't know this for my first, I was 8cm (and still on the induction ward) before they realised I was in labour, I was quite quiet... This changed for second DC when I asked for a check (and epidural if not too late - it was too late) but for me it helped massively as I felt listened too and in control.

In my experience, gas and air made me feel gloriously drunk. I really liked it, it didn't take the pain away but I didn't care about it if you see what I mean.

There are moments in both labours that I remember with absolute clarity 4/6 years on!

I didn't want to wear any clothes...

When my waters went it was like my whole body had a weird sort of rushing feeling for a second or two and then they popped. Maybe the pressure?? I appreciate it's probably not like that for everyone but it was a weird feeling that I still remember now. Like a blush but magnified! Also as PPs have said, I had loads of waters, it felt like it would never stop! Like I was weeing but couldn't stop it for DC2.

For me, when DC1 was born it was the weirdest 'emptying' feeling, like a very satisfying poo but also slippery and bumpy like I had just given birth to a giant octopus. I think I may have still been high from g&a.

After birth of DC2 they gave me a pain killer suppository which was amazing. Never had pain relief quite so successful.

Also my midwife told me if I was able to chose, to pick a post natal bed by the window. She said it could help with jaundice. I was able to, and it was lovely for natural light as well.

For DC2 I packed food for birthing partner too. DH ate mine for DC1, I wasn't hungry but he was!

I hope this helps, good luck!