What do they not tell you about labour...

[BabyB19]

17 weeks to go until I meet my little one, with antenatal classes cancelled until the end of never Im trying to prepare myself as much as possible for labour, does anyone want to share their experience with me? Anything I need to expect that I may not have been told...? ❤️

You are likely to be almost entirely incontinent for several days (glad someone warned me about that)

Your tummy will feel like a very weird sponge

Ten minutes of visitors feels like a looooong time

Oh and contractions aren't necessarily a couple of minutes with a few mins respite in between. Some of mine lasted for ten minutes and I didn't really get any respite!

Pushing the baby out isn't the painful bit. The contractions are. Oh and once the heads out the rest of baby doesn't just slip out (like when sheep give birth) you have to keep pushing to get the rest out. And you instantly forget about it all when the baby is in your arms.

You are likely to be almost entirely incontinent for several days

That never happened to me, not sure how common that is. With baby 1 I did have to have a laxative though because I had stitches and was too scared to push a poo out!

If you breastfeed, even if the latch is perfect, it can still really really hurt for the first 10 days. It's like wearing in a new pair of shoes, even if they are going to be the comfiest shoes ever, they can still rub a bit at the start!!!

I can't believe how many responses I've had to this already. Even though some of it is quite terrifying I feel so much better for all the advice. Plenty of big knickers, pads, flip flops for the hospital bag, the night sweats I had never heard of so extra pjs will be on hand through the nights when I'm home. I'm going to try some online hypnobirthing before I go in and a birthing ball has been ordered. So so helpful thank you all for your input and keep the advice coming ❤️ thanks for the well wishes and hope you're all doing well with your little ones!

Oh another one, you can choose to donate the placenta. Tell your midwife when you're on the labour Ward and they'll arrange for someone to come and collect it as soon as you birth it.

@Minkies13 not all hospitals have this service.

For me...

• I had no idea that sickness and diarrhoea could be a tell tale sign of starting labour
• Nightsweats postpartum - mine lasted 10 months
• You might poo during labour (I didn't know this until after it happened when the midwife and obstetritionist were having a laugh that he'd stood in it 🙄)
• Weeing just after birth in the shower is encouraged 😆
• If you have any intervention during labour - you will never be so relaxed and not bothered about multiple people staring intensely at your vagina

@SquigglyOne

Also this 🙌🏼

For me, the worst bit was day 3 post birth, when my milk came in. Total agony. I was breastfeeding and she couldn't latch because I was so engorged. I cried with pain all day and just sat with milk dripping all over the place. Hand expressing was helpful. The relief when she finally latched!! Cabbage leaves cooled in the fridge were also helpful. I've had 4 babies and each time day 3 was the worst bit..even worse than the birth.

I was shocked at how much I bled- I remember sitting on the sofa at home and I could feel clots coming out but I was too scared to stand up as family were there and it felt like it would all run down my leg. Ugh. I bled for 6 weeks, had 2 week’s break and then had a period. Fun.

I also didn’t expect the “phantom kicks” - for weeks after giving birth I honestly felt like I was still pregnant and could feel him kicking.

I wouldn’t say I enjoyed the experience, but it was honestly the best day of my life. Very painful but the moment they place your baby on your chest is the most amazing feeling . I feel so fortunate that I experienced it.

Don't be surprised if you feel very odd when your milk comes in - I did (I was still in hospital, long story, and felt like I was coming down with a bug).
Oh, and you may well wake up with a couple of boulders on your chest when it does!

Reading with interest! Question about hospital - I've never been admitted - are there any kitchen facilities you can use, like kettle, fridge or microwave? Are there power outlets by the beds (for phone charging)? Are there individual lights or will I need a portable light if I want to see in the night? Sorry if these questions are stupid!

1st baby 3 days labour...
I didnt have a show
Had diarrhea
My waters didnt break
Wont let you push for more than 2 hours
My afterbirth didnt come away...spinal block and theatre after delivery
DH wasnt allow on the ward after 10pm

😂 I almost don't want to say this... But during induced labour, I went to the toilet to poop, but when the toilet seat touched my legs, my body clamped down and point blank wouldn't poop in the loo. But I was desperate to poop. In the end my DH had to catch it in one of the vomit bowl things 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️.
Kind of wish I'd been mentally prepared for that one. Highly doubt that happens quite like that to everyone, but poop in labour is totally normal.

Another tip is pain relief. If you need it, take it. I was "toughing it out" in a difficult induced labour and in retrospect I wish I'd taken the pain meds. I may have ended up with the emergency c section anyways, but perhaps not. Obviously for the c section I had the spinal block and didn't feel it, but I meant before that, during the labour.

Oh, gas, I don't know about vaginal birth, but after C section birth you can get awful fart gas. So very painful. The nurse brought me this amazing warm drink with peppermint oil I think it was and she encouraged me to walk up and down the hall at night farting. Hilarious but keeping it real here, gas pain is no fun 😂🤦🏻‍♀️.

That's the stuff they probably won't tell you in any classes 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️👍👍

Contractions feel like strongperiod pain cramp. I spent most of my labour thinking it hadn’t properly started yet. They kept talking about tightenings and telling me that yes, my body might be getting ready to go into labour!! I pooed loads and was expecting that the midwife would whisk it away. Turns out she was quite busy trying to monitor baby’s heartbeat so my poo was just lying there for ages with me politely asking if there was another midwife (who could get rid of it). My husband ended up clearing it, which he lives to remind me of! The doctors have very specific sort of flow chart type thinking. They will always recommend what’s medically going to be simplest and will avoid any kind of risk. If you are not sure about wanting a certain procedure (induction for example) listen more to the midwife who has a more holistic view of the situation and can be your advocate.

On the nice side though, it may not have been quite my experience, but I honestly have friends who had wonderful, positive, lovely births. It is possible and does happen. So with all our many stories above, you will have your own wonderful experience. Nothing quite like meeting bubba face to face for the first time 😍

My little boy is 17 days old so it’s all still very fresh. Some things that surprised me were:

1. how much waters there were when they broke and how they kept coming it wasn’t just a gush. Loads.
2. how much blood there was. I left my trainers under the bed in labour room. Huge mistake. They were covered and had to be thrown away.
3. how quickly my perceptions changed. I had outfit to wear giving birth. Never bothered. Prior ended up in their disposable pants and a bra. During a bra and after nothing for skin to skin. 4)after panicking about pooing in labour when it happened When pushing I actually didn’t care. The midwife said it meant I was pushing right?! They quickly cleaned it up.
4. how big the placenta is. Ask to have a look if you want I thought it was cool.
5. always thought I would cry when I lifted him to my chest for first time but I just beamed like a loon. Probably too knackered to produce a tear!
6. for me the after effects were huge. I had a third degree tear needed lots and lots of stitches in surgery. I was poorly post surgery where my sats crashed and that was scary. The pain and discomfort after was not something I was prepared for.
7. hormones after are nuts be honest with gnoses around you in how you feel.
8. if you do tear/have episiotomy that first poo post birth is scarier than labour. Take the laxatives, get a footstool and try to relax
9. pads for post birth bleeding are pain if sore down there. Consider using reusables they are softer. (Never thought I would be a convert!)

Good luck

artistformerlyknownas there are sockets for charging phones. There are individual lights. There is a communal breakfast area but didn’t use it, they have hot water there not sure about microwave. They bring you food which you choose off a menu. Only for mother though not for a partner.

Nothing that anyone told me prepared me for labour. It all went out the window and it was like I knew nothing. Same second time round, just prepare to be unprepared.

The thing that surprised me was how much early labour hurt.

My advice is that each birth is unique and I haven't even heard of quite a few things on here never mind experienced them!
Do not expect a midwife to put a finger up your bum by the way. Totally out of order without consent.

Following ! Xx

Are you sure you want all of this!!

I hadn't appreciated with my first labour that I had to actually focus and push, my body just took over with contractions and I let it, I was using gas and air. It wasn't until a midwife said you need to work harder and push? I wasn't even thinking or making any conscious effort the second I did he was out in no time, I'm not sure what happened I think the whole experience I just kind of switched off and thought I'll leave this to my body to sort out 😬

The midwife saying put your chin down on your chest .....DOWN and push like a poo was the best advice. The second my chin went down it changed.

Also the puffiness down below was a shock after labour you wee and wipe and it's just so puffy and swollen.