What do they not tell you about labour...

[BabyB19]

17 weeks to go until I meet my little one, with antenatal classes cancelled until the end of never Im trying to prepare myself as much as possible for labour, does anyone want to share their experience with me? Anything I need to expect that I may not have been told...? ❤️

This is all so so helpful, even though some of it unpleasant I feel relieved armed without more knowledge, I've already added extra knickers and lots and lots of pads to my list as I don't know what I was expecting but 'horror movie scenes' wasn't it 🤣👍🏼

Agree with Minkies13 - try and be upright as much as possible.

Also, gas and air - brilliant stuff - like downing a massive vodka !

I wasn't prepared for delivering the placenta, it was like the contractions had started again and I can remember saying 'Oh no, not more...'

Your first poo! After giving birth it can be quite scary. Just let them know if you are concerned about going and they can give you a stool softener.

Things have to be going just perfectly to allow you into a birthing pool. Any tiny thing that's off like blood loss or blood pressure and they keep you out.

The placenta delivery can be pretty painful.

If you have a relatively minor tear the MW will stitch you there and then. If you've not had any pain relief down there, it bl hurts. Tears are a lot more common than I realised.

The uterus contracting can make you feel & be sick.

I walked/shuffled like a cowboy for a week after my first and couldn't sit down without wincing. Get a rubber ring ready to rest on at home!

The great thing is at the time you won't be thinking or worrying about any of the above, you'll be focused on your little one

Oh and with pads.. Make sure you get the big chunky padded maternity ones. As unsightly as they are, you'll want some extra padding to sit on!

That your body knows what to do, but if your mind resists then that can make it longer and more painful. I didn't know that the first time - I felt panicky and I actually slowed my labour down.

The other thing is that deep breathing through each contraction REALLY helps. To start with the contractions don't hurt that much, but once they get more intense it will help you to cope if you can focus on taking long, deep breaths through each one.

Oh and stuff no one told me about the baby (!)

• babies need vitamin d drops from birth
• babies in most London boroughs and with family members from certain countries need the BCG before they reach a month old
• they need hearing tests and reflex tests where they sort of drop the baby in hospital
• can be worth harvesting colostrum, speak to your midwife about whether this is worth it or not

Research all of these, apparently depending on where you are the midwives or health visitors will tell you about these but with the current Covid environment mine fell between the cracks and particularly the vitamin d thing was a huge surprise to me!

Don't be surprised if you are physically sick several times during labour you also may shake with adrenaline from the pain.

You're probably gunna do a poop whilst pushing haha

You will probably poo the bed and not even care.

With my first labour I felt like I was constipated.No real pain ,just felt like I needed to go to the toilet but couldn't.I was still at home at this time.It was only when I got to the labour ward and they told me to start pushing immediately as I was fully dilated that I realised I was actually getting the urge to push when I was at home.Nobody told me that pushing feels like you're trying to push the baby out the wrong opening🙄

Um. You are very likely to poo during labour. This is not glamorous. Second getting more maternity pads than you think you will need. And take some food for after the birth cos you'll probably miss some meals and will likely be starving. I took biscuits and chocolate with the second and some fruit too to balance it out, and dp brought a pizza in quite soon after.

It really helped me to know that the pain was like really bad period pains. It made the pain more manageable, as I knew the type of pain to expect.

You might continue to bleed for weeks afterwards. All the books I read said 7-10 days and I felt really horrible because I bled for about 6-8 weeks, although obviously getting less and finally just spotting darker discharge.

Gas and air is magic.

Take as much help as you can get but don’t be afraid to tell people to go away too. Try to relax and enjoy your baby, rather than feeling like you have to make everyone else feel good.

Finally, repeat to yourself regularly “I am a good enough mother. I’m the best person for my baby.”

Have a lovely time with your new family x

I shat myself loads and loads when I had dc1. DH was laughing. I was mortified! The midwife was trying to downplay and say there's no poo, but I could smell it!!

The first poo after labour with stitches in was agony.

My body 'forgot' how to urinate during labour with dc2. I could feel my bladder was full to the brim but try as I might, my body just wouldn't release it. Midwives had to insert a catheter, which I then had to carry around with me while I was contracting like a bitch!

You may vomit, I did...loads.

I'd say forget about labour. It's the first week or so that's hard, labour takes its course without you having that much of a say tbh, just try to stay calm.

Postnatal wards can be horrendous. Noisy, hot, stressful. It can be more traumatic than labour if you feel disrespected.

Constipation after birth is common - take dried fruit. Labour contractions mess with your digestive processes and pushing hard poo out of sore bits plus piles is bad. I got fissures (tears in your anus) and I don't recommend it.

when you finally poo, it is so bloody painful but such a HUGE relief.

Back to back labour is really painful .

I had no idea how 'slack' everything would feel afterwards! I had a forceps birth followed by emergency surgery so maybe worse than the norm but I felt like everything was going to fall out every time I stood up and was terrified that it would be like that forever, but of course our bodies are amazing and things do go back to where they came from pretty quickly! I also got pretty swollen in the final stages of pregnancy and about a week postpartum I remember waking up one morning covered in sweat and my ankles had come back and feet were back to normal! I wish I'd known more of what to expect before my first, not everyone wants the gory details but I like to be forewarned! x

Omg this thread is a godsend. 35+1 and it's all preparing me much more!

Although it feels like the be-all and end-all when you're pregnant, it's actually very quickly a fading memory. If it doesn't go as you plan/hope/wish then it's totally fine to feel upset and disappointed but also remember it's just the very very start of being a parent and there's so much more to plan for/look forward to! I'd add to the above advice to really think about how you feel after delivery and take care of yourself. All being well, you'll be right as rain and up and about really quickly. But don't force yourself to do things if you're not feeling up to it - it's TOTALLY fine to just slob at home in pjs with your baby while you recover. Also doing too much too quickly can make that post-partum bleeding much heavier so even if you feel ok don't over-do it! Plus most of us look pregnant for a good couple of weeks after delivery - don't be downheartened, it's normal and all the bloating / leftover bump will go down. I actually got asked when my baby was due about 2 days after having ds2 because my bump was still so big!

I had never heard/read about night sweats after labour. I had them for about two weeks. Literally waking up soaked in sweat during the night!

You will prob poo yourself. I locked myself in the loo at the hospital with diarrhoea dripping down my legs and baby started crowning straight away. I was torn between wanting to clean myself up, horrendous pain, worrying the baby was going to be covered in poo and the complete horror of having a head between my legs

Agree with Minkies uptight both times is much better than lying on back with massively hurt for the short time I did it for my waters to be broken.

Bring lots of snacks and food as your partner will be hungry during labour and if you deliver in the night, there may not be a lot of food for you on the ward. I brought my DH a few mugshot packets and omg they were amazing.

After pains really hurt surprisingly

Nightsweats and hairloss too

If you have a c-section and they catheterise you, you might not be able to pee once they take it out (apparently it's called bladder shock).

Oh and if you have a c section you can get the shakes really badly.