What do they not tell you about labour...

[BabyB19]

17 weeks to go until I meet my little one, with antenatal classes cancelled until the end of never Im trying to prepare myself as much as possible for labour, does anyone want to share their experience with me? Anything I need to expect that I may not have been told...? ❤️

The part that surprised me was the urge to push. To me it was like that involuntary feeling when your body takes over when you are going to be sick ifswim.

So when in my long 1st labour they asked me to try not to push I felt like wtf I am not doing this on purpose it's just happening!

I got a bit high from the gas and air and forgot what I was there for. Midwife very firmly told me to put it down and concentrate. Great stuff.

Everyone will have such a different experience but for me it was :

Time goes by soooooo quick in labour

Early labour really, REALLY hurts ( everyone made it sound like it was painful but tolerable but hell no)

Active labour wasn’t as bad as I thought ( no epidural) and all I could think about was meeting my baby . It still hurt more than I could comprehend but it was manageable. I got this adrenaline rush and I felt so empowered and strong . I knew an end was in sight !

A catheter for draining your bladder does not hurt at all . I couldn’t feel a thing .

I literally didn't care in the slightest about nudity during or after labour . I sorta knew about this one but it still took me by surprise . I remember a midwife offered to change my maxi pad for me postpartum and it was like no big deal for me . I was like oh cool , thanks like it was the most casual thing ever.

Postpartum recovery is harder than labour ( an episiotomy hurts more than I ever thought possible )

You will live your life in 3 hour blocks and it’s harder than it sounds .

The love you will feel for your baby is so unconditional, so powerful, so strong . It’s absolutely insane .

Contractions and the textbook 'don't come in till you're 3 mins apart' my contractions weren't regular. My waters broke around 7am (bare in mind they might 'pop' with a trickle rather than gush which is difficult to recognise if you were in the shower at the time....bit like having a little wee but when you try to stop it, it doesn't..)

So contractions - I had a tens machine (highly recommend) and practiced hypno-birthing , also recommend, my contractions never became regular, only around 2.00 am I got to a point that it was quite painful - sharp squeezes really down low - so we phoned and went in, I was 9cm and birthed at 3:40. So follow your instinct. A midwife later said that because I hypnobirthed the contractions could have been regular but I just couldn't feel them all, I'd like to think that's true.

So go with your instinct when the time comes. Also I think some women have to push a lot, and some women your body really does the work for you, I was the latter, and it was awesome, all I had to do was breath. No-one told me that and how animalistic it could be.

As above. I wish someone had seriously warned me about the baby blues I was a wreck felt like a teenager. I also ended up EMCS, discharged just over 24 hours later. Really lovely recovery, opting for elective this time. One this I did dislike. Fragmin 😬 injections 😬 I genuinely his upstairs one morning because I knew when I went down my OH would have to give me them. Worst part of the whole experience imo.

The latent phase of labour can last for a long time (up to 4cm). I thought that the early contractions during this stage wouldnt be especially painful but mine were. I was in early labour for 3 days and 3 nights (hospital wouldn't admit me). If this happens you must eat and drink; I became unwell because I didnt. I visited the hospital every day and I think this slowed down the labour but how are you supposed to know when to go in. Also I was struggling with the pain. On day 3 I was finally admitted after basically not sleeping for 3 nights. I was exhausted and my water birth / hypnobirthing plan completely went out the window. I was delirious. I had an epidural and ended with emergency c section.

Read up about c sections and your preferences if you need one. My hospital has a 30% c section rate.

People say that they didnt use stuff they packed but I used everything as we had to stay for 6 days. Mini fan and water bottle are necessity.

Get as much support with breastfeeding while you're in the hospital as you can. I pressed my buzzer often for help and many midwives manually helped with my latch etc. So useful.

Buy big / high knickers for post birth.

Make sure to get some haemorrhoid cream in for afterwards! Nurse asked if I wanted pain relief in suppository form, I went to put it up my bum and didn't actually know where my bumhole was! Had to get nurse to do it for me!
Pushing out the placenta afterwards was something I didn't know about! I had the injection to help it come out, but ended up having to sit on the toilet and push that out afterwards too! 😩
But labour was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. Just big long deep breathes of the gas and air! Small little ones don't help at all! X

It's not as painful as I expected before having kids.

That contractions on the toilet are way worse in that position, I had one and it was enough to get me off my bum and back in the birthing pool.

They put a suppository laxative up my bum (with permission) and it was so worth it and my first use of the loo after the birth was totally fine.

The midwife asked if I wanted a photo literally just after DS was born and we were still in the pool, I was quite surprised but look back on the photo with such happiness.

Oh yeah the night sweats afterwards, I forgot about these, it's the hormones changes after birth I think xx

Oh and I never had contractions.,Just continuous pain. No one ever said that was a possibility.

My one piece of advice is to wee. Even if you don’t feel like you need to wee go for a wee. You’ll get to a point where you can’t because baby is in the way, but it helps that part come quicker if there’s not a full bladder in the way.

Oh and your feet may well swell up like balloons after birth. No one told me about this and I panicked first time. Second time they were already inflating as we walked out of delivery suite but at least I knew not to panic!

Oh and if they offer you a painkiller suppository- take it! Best invention EVER

That some women don’t go into labour naturally and need help and some women don’t progress and need a c section.

I never expected this to be me but it was so keep an open mind.

Oh and be prepared to sweat a lot for a couple of weeks afterwards

Ohhh and the fetal ejection reflex is a weird one. You know how your whole body works to make you vomit? Like you couldn’t stop it even if you wanted to? Yeah well it’s like that only it’s your uterus doing the vomiting

It's so hard to pee in labour, but ask for a catheter and it's quick and painless x

@ShirleyPhallus

YES to these
night sweats were a thing no one warned me about

• day 3 baby blues didn’t kick in for me until about 10 days in, they went after a few days but I wish I’d known they could come any time

Mine is that the birthing ball does actually help with the pain l-I was very very cynical about it (and couldn’t see how it could possibly work) until I tried it.
Gas and air did nothing for the pain for me, but I did enjoy the way it made me feel.

My third time I was ‘induced’ well had a bit of card stuck up there. Was new experience and they were certain I’d not go into labour that night it takes ages the new way they do it. I believe them, partner got sent home at 10:30.

When I was having uncomfortable pains - not possibly labour as it doesn’t happen that quickly (MW again) I struggled in their toilets with a tens machine and breathing until 12 when I begged them to check. I was 5cm to her surprise and she took that bloody cardboard out of me, it was driving me mad, called up to labour ward my child was out by twenty past 12 dad not there in time.

My advice is get them to check and annoy them until they do. I was mad with myself for not getting checked sooner and still feel daft with it being my third that I should have known. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Piles last forever also first time I got piles this time too.... I think that was lack of pain relief made me push from my bum more 😂 My bottom hurt for at least 4 months and I tried being normal - long car journeys sitting on the floor just made it worse 😭

Following

Oh god yes the placenta afterwards also this time took 40 minutes to come out. The midwife tried helping it by pushing on my stomach I told her not to do it again she did I touched her with my bloody hand on her arm to get her off as it hurt so much... she then patiently waited for my contractions to restart 😂

Totally agree with Batmanandbobbin

A woman in the bed opposite me actually had her daughter in the induction ward as the midwife didn’t check her till it was too late.

We all had to make a fast exit (not easy when you’re wired up to the monitor) to give her some privacy!

Oh and another all three of my births my waters didn’t go until I was in labour and two the midwives burst them for me.

Looks like you have got a lot of replies OP!
A little bit of advice I would like to give though may be a bit controversial-

Don’t worry if you don’t experience the “rush of love” for your baby that people talk about. I didn’t experience it at all and thought there must be something wrong with me.

In fact it took me some time to bond with my baby but 15 weeks on and he’s honestly the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me - a love I can’t describe 🥰

The fetal ejection reflex is real.. but it was one of the best things for me, no thinking just completely taken over (seriously the midwife rolled me onto my back and 2 others had came into the room and I didn’t notice until I had a baby on me)

Gas and air doesn’t work for everyone.. yay me!.. if they’re holding out on the drugs you want keep pushing them, get your partner in on it. Don’t worry about being a warrior if it’s genuinely too painful for you take whatever works.. you wouldn’t brave it through a dental extraction. The only benefit to no epidural is being on your feet as soon as you feel ok, so you can shower.. labours messy buisness.

Any stitches get tucks pads and a rubber ring.. there’s a numbing spray but I couldn’t find the bloody stuff..

After pains were fine with my first.. cant remember them.. my second Jesus (again drug free 2nd degree tear finger up the bum stuff) they were worse than labour and came every time I fed ds2 for 4 weeks. Tena pants are the best maternity pads.. they can’t move.

And remember contraception.. if you forget it all quick enough n do like I done, 2 boys 50weeks exactly apart.. you might get a lot less sleep than you thought.

That you can get contractions in your thighs! It was intense...

Also, the after pains. Not prepared for at all. I thought we were back to the beginning again.