Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

@tmc14 we've settled on a name we both love for our baby girl but we are both of the opinion that whilst we are settled on it for now, that might change once we meet her...my mum was adamant on my name and then instantly changed her mind when she saw me lol!

@AnxiousLady1 on the cloth nappy front YouTube has been my main go to for info, there are loads of great video's.

It's definitely worth doing lots of research. I did the thing from the nappy lady and honestly just thought it was confusing.

I'm going for birth to potty pocket nappies as my main stash, buying a mix of popper and velcro fastening ones. I've bought some "Little and Bloom" ones from Amazon without any inserts, I got 10 for £37 Inc delivery. Ive got about another 15 (with a mix of brands) in my basket. Instead of the bamboo/microfiber inserts I'm going for prefolds, because you can customise the fold to suit where you child sets the most. You can also use these as a "flat" nappy on very small babies with nappy nippers rather than pins. So I'm buying 3 newborn starter packs which come with 2 covers and 6 prefolds each. Then I can keep using the prefolds as inserts in the birth to potty pocket nappies. I'm also buying some plain white muslins, because again these can be used as flat nappies inside a cover or folded up into and insert.

The beauty of prefolds and muslins is that they are really absorbent and because they can be unfolded they're quicker to dry.

I do think I might get a small pack of newborn disposable nappies for the hospital and those first meconium poops 😂.

The whole stash is looking at about £200, which I don't think is bad.

@MrsMGE congrats on your scan and your little girly! So exciting 😬

Good luck tomorrow @sunstruck I hope it all goes well for you, will be checking back for updates

@footprintsintheslow I was on my own too, I was so nervous but because of the virus they took me straight from the car to the scan room so there wasn't much time to fret. Dh waited in the car bless him and I had a big cry on him when I came out. They gave me about ten photos and aren't charging so dh got to see many photos but it was sad he missed out on it all, it is truly amazing what they can see

We have the same app as @AnxiousLady1 from our first pregnancy and it does help work out if you are both on the same wavelength! I never got to use tinder so I enjoy the swiping fun haha! We haven't dared really talk about names yet but we will have to get started now 😁

@TunnocksTcake I think you may have intended to tag a different poster there, far too early for me (but I wish!) 😉

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm 36 (37 soon!) so decided when we had our 10 week scan done that we'd have the harmony blood tests done at same time. They did say that as it was dna/chromosome analysis that we could find out the gender and as neither of us are very patient we said yes!

@MrsG3 ahhhh congratulations!!! It makes me so happy to see positive scan news!! And another girl!! 💓💓

@MrsG3 also - beautiful name!! We also have Grace on our list as a potential middle name, it's so pretty! 💕
@bananamuffin99 people keep asking us about names but even if we had chosen a name (we haven't!) I don't think we would want to tell people either! I don't want our choice to be influenced by other people's reactions!

I'm sorry to hear about the stressful work situation - I hope you are one of the "lucky" ones - definitely an added stress that's not needed right now!! 🙈

My brother has just sent me scan pictures and a really insensitive message 😫 his mrs is two weeks ahead of where I should be from my last pregnancy, he knows I had a MC, doesn't ask how i am, and doesn't know I'm pregnant again. I just feel absolutely blindsided and overwhelmingly crappy about it. I dont think it is too much to ask for people to check that you are happy to get a scan picture after a MC surely? this has made me feel so desperately sad which makes no sense when I am pregnant again. This is far harder than I thought it would be.
I'm struggling as well with lockdown being extended, even though I knew I would be. I'm a homely person and not a huge socialiser but I desperately miss my best friends now, and this is harder with no socialising to distract you.
Having a hot chocolate and hoping I'll feel better after a good night's sleep. Feel crappy having a whinge on here after so many lovely posts today but I don't feel like I can say this to anyone else.

Re the nappies - I think we are just going to go with disposables if I'm honest.. I know that's not great to admit at the moment but I just don't think we will manage well with reusables... 🙈

What are people's plans re feeding? I might be being completely naive but I'd ideally like to combi-feed with a mixture of breast feeding and bottle feeding (with either expressed or formula). It's a minefield to me regarding what I should get in order to try and do this - do I need to buy bottles straight away? A pump? Do I just hope I can breastfeed and buy the rest if unable to / ready to try combining? So confusing!!! 🙈

Help..

Sorry to darken the mood, I'm a little worried; this eve I've noticed a little red blood mixed into like a mucus-discharge (just once when I went to the bathroom). It's the week my last 2 pg's failed (though I didn't know until a few weeks afterwards) and I'm maybe reading into every tiny thing but it doesn't seem very good... Anyone had any bloody discharge and it's been ok?

Oh @Whiffle77 I'm really sorry about your brother - that's really insensitive 😔. Do you feel able to say something to him?

It seems so common for people to be quite insensitive around others who have experienced miscarriage - I genuinely don't think people understand how awful the experience is unless they've been through it themselves.. following my MMC last year it was my best friends baby shower 2 weeks after my surgery - her sister (who was aware of my v recent miscarriage) texted me to ask me if I could pick up a "mummy to be" sash for the occasion... 🙄

@TJ88123 I had three occasions of bleeding in this pregnancy in the first 12 weeks - all small amounts. I contacted my GP / midwife each time who arranged for me to have an early scan and all was fine (now 20 weeks). Sorry it's worrying you - please do contact your GP or midwife to hopefully get some reassurance - I was told some bleeding in early pregnancy is v common but obviously v scary too xx

@didslysquiddlydoo thanks for the reassurance. There hasn't been any more so I'll try and settle myself

I have a private scan booked for Sunday so might try and hold on til then. Thank you xx

Hi @TJ88123 I also had 3 bleeding incidents (that I know of) before 8 weeks. The first was at 5 1/2 weeks and lasted for 2 days. It was brown but I was absolutely devastated. However it stayed consistent before clearing up where as I know from my miscarriage the bleeding got slowly and steadily worse - so I found that really reassuring. A miscarriage wouldn't slow down I don't think. The other 2 incidents were only small amounts but mixed with discharge and a pinky colour. I think I saw red blood (a tiny amount) another time but I just threw it furiously into the toilet and flushed and decided to ignore it! Its just horrible because all you can do is wait and see. I've since had a positive scan at 9 weeks and there was no bleeding in my uterus at all. Fingers crossed for you - bleeding can be a good sign, it's a sign of increased blood flow to the cervix which means your hormones are doing the right thing! Obviously it can also be the start of a miscarriage but I'm really hoping it doesn't sound like that for you given that it's stopped. Keep us updated xxx

@Whiffle77 I think people have no idea, at all, but I find it really infuriating and I take it upon myself to educate them. Can you ask him not to send any more scans? I've done that to a friend - she didn't mean to be insensitive and she understood when I asked, but ultimately her text message literally knocked me to the floor and I was down there weeping for ages so I just thought you know what, I'm going to have to ask her not to do that again. You don't have to be rude, you can be very polite about it - or not as you judge it! I also shouted at a man once who told me my miscarriage was just a bundle of cells and not a big deal, and a few days later he was really apologetic to me as I think he had time to think about it and realise what a dick he was. @didslysquiddlydoo that is awful! It's stories like these that make me realise that in a way I'm glad I've gone through what I have if only because it means I'm never ever going to unknowingly do something like that to someone who is in pain. I see that empathy as my silver lining - to be fair I had no idea what it was like until I went through it xxx

Also @didslysquiddlydoo how on earth did you attend a baby shower, I literally wouldn't be capable of that. So brave of you xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I really hope it's a good sign. I've had two separate episodes of red around 6 weeks but really didn't worry at all and then a little brown after sex but this eve I just freaked out seeing a bit of red!! It's maybe just the timing... I'll be 9+2 on Sunday, my logic re booking that date was so we'll know whether or not we got through this week this time. Trying to be prepared for either result but it's wrecking my head!! Google doesn't help either, think I should ban myself from googling sorry to be such a negative Nancy... thank you for sharing your exp.. xx

Flippin heck @didslysquiddlydoo and @MOGMOGMOG85 that is really awful! I cant believe people could be so insensitive. I felt like I was being over sensitive but now I feel better for having written it here and having people understand. I don't feel like I can say anything to him as he wont get it, theres no point really. Plus he sent it on a family group (but addressed it to me...) so I cant really. We aren't close at all. Maybe you're right and people don't get it unless they have been through it, I certainly had no clue how awful a MC would be but I still hope I would have some sensitivity? You are so brave going to your friends shower so soon @didslysquiddlydoo I hope she appreciated it!
Sorry you are having a tough time @TJ88123 like the others have said some bleeding can be really common. Hope you find the rest of the week passes quickly, not long until your scan and hopefully you will get some reassurance

Hello everyone... I am BACK! Not sure if I'm rememered from the 2nd thread but I had a miscarriage at 6.4wks. I passed the sac on 10th April...

I ovulated 2 weeks later and I've now found out I'm pregnant! 4wks2days. It's crazy but I am SO SO scared. I've had 2 losses now and not having the period inbetween has made me think I've harmed my chances.

I hope everyone is having a healthy pregnancy 🥰🥰

I feel like I’ve missed so much! I stopped getting notifications for some reason! Glad to see some good news about scans and naming choices here! We think we have a name for baby boy, got our 20 week scan on Thursday! 💙

Sorry @MrsMGE I got the wrong Mrs! That was intended for @MrsG3!

@Whiffle77 I would be fuming if I were you that is very insensitive! I agree with the others and I don't think people get it at all. If it's on a family group chat and you don't want to say something hopefully someone else will on your behalf, or you could ask them to maybe have a quiet word with him out of the group message?

@TJ88123 sorry you have had some bleeding that is always scary no matter how little an amount. The fact it has stopped is a very good sign though and actually the timing of it could possibly be around when your next period was due? I've heard that's common in pregnancy. I had a small bleed that was on and off for a week at 15 weeks and still don't know what it was, but everything is fine now and no sign of a bleed at my scan so assuming it was cervix related. I would mention it to your midwife / dr just so it's recorded then if it happens again they might look into it a bit quicker. Glad you have a scan this week to put your mind at ease anyway.

Welcome back @fmturn and gentle congratulations! This is my third pregnancy too, and I caught immediately after an early miscarriage. I am now 20 weeks along and all looking healthy so it does happen, quite frequently actually I have found from all my early googling! Best of luck!

@fmturn congratulations!

Updating weeks - made it to double figures! Well according to my scan date (which I'm still not convinced of), according to lmp i'm not 10 weeks til sunday.

The last couple of nights I've been finding it really hard to sleep :'( it's not comfortable to sleep on my front at the moment - I think my uterus is pressing on my bladder (is that possible? did anyone else get this? its what it feels like!), plus I'm bloated and laying on my belly just makes me feel sick. Laying on my back is also not working any more and I'm laying on my left side as you're supposed to but my brain just won't go to sleep in that position! Then when I do go to sleep I need the loo - I've recently upgraded to more than one trip to the bathroom per night :( I also have a crick in my neck now... Hope I get more used to it... can't believe it's only Wednesday and I still have 3 days of work ugh.

@Bellsx 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 21wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 20wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 10wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@TJ88123 I had 3 bleeds on 3 consecutive Fridays from 13 weeks ish. First time I totally freaked, as it was bright red, with a clot and I was honestly hysterical. I manage to get a scan at the epu the following Monday and the goblin was flipping about, doing rolls and all sorts. There was no obvious cause for the bleeds so I'm also pretty sure they were cervix related.

@fmturn gentle congratulations it's lovely to have you back. Everything crossed that this is your time. There actually some evidence that on the first 6 months after a MC you're less likely to mc again so everything crossed.

@whiffle77 I'm so sorry that your brother was insensitive, unfortunately some people are so wrapped up in themselves they forget to be kind.

@didlysquiddlydoo cloth isn't for everyone, I've definitely gone for a system that once we're past newborn is as close to disposable as possible to make it easy. I'm also going down the cloth wipes route. On the feeding thing I'm aiming to breastfeed exclusively. I've put 3 Mam brand bottles in my wishlist, as I would like DH to be able to feed once we're established. If you're going to combination feed regardless of whether it's pumped breast milk or formula make sure you pick the slowest flow nipples available. It's recommended not to introduce bottles for about a fortnight, to avoid "nipple confusion" because sucking on a bottle is a different action from sucking on a breast.

Updating my weeks, because somehow another week has gone by. Past the half way point now, which is crazy!

@Bellsx 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 21wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 10wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

Ladies, thanks so much for your well wishes! All went fine on the 20 week scan so I guess all that's left to do is to tell work 😳😳😳😳