Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

Morning ladies. How are you today @TJ88123? Hope things have settled down for you now.

Feeling brave enough to join the weeks list but how do I do it? I'm only on my phone so can I do it from here or can it only be done on a computer? 😖 Can you tell technology isn't my strong point?? 🤣

@SunStruck Congratulations! What a relief to have that hurdle out of the way. Love the 3D scan image. Did you get that privately or is it standard for your hospital to do that? Also, are you keeping the sex a secret? 🤐

Thanks everyone for your kind words yesterday, made me stop feeling like I was being melodramatic! Pleased to be into another day.
Lovely scan pic @SunStruck what a busy scan week we have had!

@SunStruck great news and lovely scan pic! Mine is tomorrow and I’m absolutely terrified! X

@Anon20something thank you - I am sure it will go so well! I'll think of you ❤️

@Whiffle77thank you 🥰

@AnxiousLady1 I live abroad and we have private healthcare here! But it's free through our medical (private healthcare included in our work medical). It's a boy and we're not keeping the sex secret 😄

@SunStruck Ah great! I think you have mentioned it's a boy already, so apologies if I missed that. That's brilliant on the private healthcare. I ahve that through work here too but they don't cover what they refer to as "normal pregnancy". But the NHS is great anyway so I can't complain. Maternity care here still seems to be significantly better than Ireland. I mentioned the trisomy tests thy routinely do here to people at home and they were super confused. If they were to have a baby that's a higher risk, they realsitically don't know until much further along in the pregnancy as it's not tested for. I had kind of taken that, and the EPU for granted (they were also confused when I mentioned being able to get early scans when concerned).

@Anon20something Best of luck for tomorrow, and hoping time moves quickly until then. xx

@Whiffle77 - Sorry I didn't pick up on this yesterday, but in summary, what an insentive plonker.

@TJ88123 How are you today?

@SunStruck great news glad to see your boy is doing well!

@MrsG3 it depends on your phone. I can just press and hold over the list and I get 2 little curser things that I can pull it he start and end to copy it

Good luck tomorrow @Anon20something hope it all goes well!

Haha @anxiouslady1 that is the perfect description of him generally, thank you!

Thank you ladies! Feeling very emotional about it today. My scans are at the same hospital where I had my little girl, and going on my own scares me so much. Now I’m halfway every time I have an appointment And go to that hospital I just panic that something will happen And I’ll be leaving without my baby again, having proper flashbacks today it’s horrible! Thankfully it’s at 9 am so I’m literally counting the hours! X

@MrsG3 @AnxiousLady1
Thanks everyone for asking - I'm a little calmer today. Nothing to report this morning thankfully, though I'm counting the days to Sunday just to find out one way or the other..
I feel quite sick this morning, so that's hopefully a good thing and the smell my laptop's giving off as I try to work from home really isn't helping!
Hope you're all good today x

Good luck tomorrow @Anon20something i know what you mean about going back to where the loss happened, I hope tomorrow goes well. I was whisked in so quickly I didn't have time to dwell on being next door to where we had our first awful scan so hopefully it's the same for you.

@sunstruck what a wonderful scan photo and congratulations! I really hope we can get a 3D one, at the moment all scanning places are shut near us ☹️

@TJ88123 that's positive news, I hope the days pass quickly for you.

Updating my weeks...

@Bellsx 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 21wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 20wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 20wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 10wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

Updating my weeks too. Sorry I've been quiet on here. I had an episode of bleeding Saturday night and I've not felt very stable since if I'm honest.

@Bellsx 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 21wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 20wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 20wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 19wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 19wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 10wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@Treaclepie19 Sorry to hear that. How worrying for you that must have been! I really wish there was more information out there about how much this kind of thing happens. We all have it ingrained in our minds to expect the worst when there is any spotting, but if MN is anything to go by, I've lost track of the women experiencing this at different stages of their pregnancy and it's always considered "fine" and goes unexplained for the most part. But I think the lack of that detail out there means we automatically assume the worst. Hope you're doing okay and not worrying yourself too much still. From your weeks I assume you've a scan coming up pretty soon? Xx

Sorry to hear that @Treaclepie19 have you spoken to anyone about it? Has the bleeding stopped? Some bleeding can be normal but I know you know all this, try not to worry to much (but I know that's impossible!). Do you have a 20 week scan soon to reassure you?

Thank you both. Yeah I phoned triage and they saw me. They took swabs and sent my urine sample to be checked too. They think its likely cervical irritation but I'm waiting for my results still.
I have a scan in 19 days so I'm just hoping all will be well. Baby's heartbeat was good on Saturdsy so I'm holding onto that 🤞

Ah that's good then, pleased you have been well looked after! All sounds positive but it's such a worry. Hoping the next 19 days go really fast for you!

Thank you
Yeah the staff were amazing. I was the only one in triage! Weird times we're in.

Hi all, hope everyone is ok. We've just had our screening results through and we are low risk for Downs, Edward's and Pataus thankfully. I was a bit nervous because I'm 36 and I know age can increase the risk.

It's been a tough few days here though as this weekend was 6 months since Isla was born. It hit me hard and I've felt a lot of guilt about feeling like she is slipping away whilst we are moving forward with this baby. We should have a bouncing six month old with us now. But I had a good chat to my counsellor today who said it doesn't need to be one or the other. We can still make Isla very much present and a part of this pregnancy which is very true and although I'm trying not to think too far ahead, I want to make sure she is a part of it as much as we can.

In other good news my headache seems to have gone (touch wood!), my counsellor wondered if it was tension which could have been the case.

@Anon20something best of luck for tomorrow. I also know what you mean about going back to where you lost your baby. Will be thinking of you in the morning x

Updating my weeks. Still can’t believe I’ve got to this point. Definitely on the home straight, 17 weeks to go for me due to delivery plan x

@Bellsx 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 21wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 10wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@Shefliesonherownwings Thank you!

I totally understand how you’re feeling, every month the 28th hits me a brick, Lily should be 8 months old now. Our friends had their little girl a month earlier than us so seeing their monthly updates are really tough as I can only imagine what lily would be like now. I’ve tried really hard to include her in our pregnancy this time round, lots of little brother clothes here! We also made a little photo book to show to baby boy- you can get them on a free photo website if it’s something that you would like to do. I’m really lucky that my family and friends have been so supportive too, everyone refers to this baby as baby no 2 or ‘little brother’ already which really helps me feel like a mum of 2 and keep lily included X

@Anon20something best of luck with your scan tomorrow xxx

@Anon20something and @Shefliesonherownwings your stories are just so heartbreaking - it must be such a difficult process for you this whole pregnancy, hats off to you - you're both doing so well xxx

@TJ88123 that sounds really positive, not long until Sunday - be kind to yourself and take it easy until then, and if possible find something really easygoing to watch and take your mind off things!

@Treaclepie19 I'm so sorry to hear that - glad you got looked after though - at your stage its reassuring to hear that they do take bleeding seriously as I know at my stage (first trimester) they just basically tell you to wait and see... hope your results come back soon, but it really does sound like positive signs so far - what a lot to go through though xxx

If anyone is feeling broody like me but can't handle watching something with actual babies in (too painful still) there is a great programme on iplayer called "Baby Chimp Rescue" - so adorable, and makes me feel hopeful - even if this pregnancy doesn't work out there's no reason why I couldn't go volunteer to work with baby chimps one day! :)

@Anon20something that's exactly what I was talking to my counsellor about. It helps me to refer to this baby as Isla's sibling and her little brother or sister. It gives me comfort to involve her in that way rather than focusing on the sadness of her not being here. I can't think too far ahead but I hope to be able to get a little brother or sister outfit and also to put Isla's name up next to this babys name in the nursery once they're here. A photo book is a great idea, I'm going to look into that too.

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you. It's tough, for me I don't feel that there is ever a 'safe' time in pregnancy because we lost Isla so late but I'm just trying to take it one week or even one day at a time. Plus being able to honestly post here and know that I am amongst wonderful ladies who understand these fears and anxieties and will listen without judgement, greatly helps me.

Hi all.

@SunStruck your scan photo is wonderful, am glad all went well and yes probably time to let your work know! I spoke to my line manager today about my intentions around when I'll start maternity leave and how long I plan to take off. The realisation that I have less than 4 months left at work hit me, I've been WFH for almost 2 months already so it really doesn't feel that far away!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've always been a front sleeper and found I was ok with it until about 16-17 weeks but the past couple of weeks I've started using cushions to wedge me in place on my side and stop me naturally rolling onto my expanding belly! I've got a 12ft long pregnancy pillow too but trying to put off using that for the time being so there's not a huge pillow wall between me and DH! There's no need to worry at all about sleep position until 24+ weeks so hopefully you'll find something soon that works for you. I'm typically on 3 toilet trips a night!

@Anon20something good luck for the scan tomorrow, I was terrified but hopefully you'll leave feeling reassured. Your photo book tribute to Lily is lovely.

@MrsG3 you need to copy and paste the list and then just add yourself in. Glad you're feeling ready to join!

@Shefliesonherownwings glad your results were all good. I'm 36 too and was pleasantly surprised by mine, I'd assumed a worse scenario based on age. Glad you've spoken to your counsellor, you have nothing to feel guilty about and she is right that Isla will always be a huge part of all of your lives.

Hope you've all had a good day. I've just done a pregnancy 'kickboxing' YouTube video and feel incredibly clumsy but glad to have at least attempted some form of exercise!

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you x

My friend randomly text me today & asked if I'm ok as she keeps thinking about me so I gave her a call - felt good to tell someone IRL but also made it real

@Anon20something & @Shefliesonherownwings you ladies are so brave!! Xx