November 2020 Babies - Thread 3

[Sakura54]

Another new thread for the Nov mums to continue our discussion!

@seventhrow I literally eat 4 fizzy sweets and it seems to do the trick any more and it fills my stomach too much and I feel sick. But honestly, Ice lollies are my saviour, a meal (feel nauseous) then eat a ice lolly and it’s cured. I did read the advice somewhere and thought pft...that won’t work and it did.

@Tonicandgin, My OHs been saying to me that ‘going to the scan on my own is understandable protocol’ and it didn’t matter as long as he saw a picture (I was really upset when I first found out and I think he’s just trying to stop me worrying) and my 12 week scan letter said my partner could come, when he read the letter his face lit up. I did tell him not to pin his hopes on it as it’s likely to be a standard old style letter.

However if the rules lift by June, I am thinking of booking a 16 week private gender scan (we both want to find out anyway) as a surprise for him.

@seventhrow I feel your pain! It's tricky to watch other people tucking into a bit of fizz and not being able to join in. For me it's just like oh... the evening is the same as the daytime and it's exacerbating the groundhog day effect!
I've found all of this a really difficult adjustment TBH. We actually got engaged just before going into lockdown, and then I found out about the pregnancy just a few weeks later. I've been really sad about not being able to do stuff like try on dresses with my mum, or have engagement drinks, or even find an engagement ring. I've had to let go of a lot of expectations around what all that stuff would be like, and now what pregnancy would be like. You're totally allowed to be frustrated about your renovation plans not working out. These are the things we work hard for and then they're suddenly very different. It's tough!

@Amymone thank you for not thinking I'm being petty! and congratulations on your engagement that's so exciting!!! Yes it's quite similar being in an fun new situation and wanting to enjoy it and being completely blocked. It took 8 agonising months for our house purchase to go through. I spent Jan-Feb sorting out what we needed to get done... and now it's all cancelled. The weather has been nice but the decking is mouldy and there's an overflowing drain underneath it which smells. None of which I can sort out. It all puts a lot of pressure on getting stuff sorted once lockdown is over so that the builders aren't here once the baby arrives.

I got married last year - this is such a special time I hope you manage to enjoy it, all things considered. Highly recommend Instagram for wedding fantasies, ideas and suppliers.

@SquidgeBum - I totally get u. Everything you said about the aversion is true. Its exactly what I'm going through too. The slightest thing makes me want to throw up. It's so awful. I miss being able to enjoy a comforting cup of tea! It's really getting me down. Even an hour of feeling 'normal' would be great relief.

@FlashesOfRage thank you. It’s frustrating. I wasn’t anywhere near this bad last time (I certainly couldn’t contemplate a couple of weeks travel in the US right now!). I’ve had cyclizine and now on Prochlorperazine. Seems to be a low dose though 😕

I really don’t want to end up in hospital 😥 so I’m trying to sip as much liquid as possible but eventually it comes back up.

Pee is darker than it should be, but not alarming (I don’t think). So hopefully some of the fluid is staying in.

Will mention the weight loss when I contact them again. I’ve managed some forkfuls of mash this evening so fingers crossed it stays put.

On a serious note - in my spare time I'm a trustee for a perinatal mental health charity and in my non-clinical opinion I suspect there will be a lot of fallout from this Covid situation.

Pre natal depression and anxiety (mental health issues during pregnancy) are a real issue and 1 in 10 men also get mental health issues as a result of pregnancy and birth.

My dh suffered during pregnancy and after my second child was born although we didn't really know what it was at the time. But it's a big reason we'd like him to come to a scan. It's like he blocked everything out during pregnancy last time and suddenly a baby arrived and he couldn't quite cope.

Just wanted to flag mental health issues during pregnancy - along with men experiencing mental health issues. It's well recognised and your midwives will be able to support you and signpost you to additional help.

@Tonicandgin & @Fouryearslater I've been told DH can't attend the 12 week scan and he's ok with it - he says so long as he sees a picture and everything is fine he's happy. I'm gutted he can't be there and (hopefully!) hear the heartbeat though as it's our first. We've agreed that if all is well, we'll then book a private scan where he can go too, probably a gender scan as we both want to find out. X

I'm so glad I'm not the only one wallowing I'm self pity about not being able to drink!! Cue the tiny violin. I had my (virtual) hen party last weekend and had to pretend to be drinking as very few of my friends know I'm pregnant yet and it made me quite sad. Knowing me I'd probably have told them if we'd been there in person.

It doesn't help that the wedding is a matter of weeks away and is not looking likely to be able to happen - people keep suggesting we postpone to October or November, but I can't tell them that I'll be exploding out of my dress by then!

@Tonicandgin thank you for flagging that. My Dh also suffered badly during pregnancy and after birth with both of mine. It was a lot worse with dd1 and I was so wrapped up with pregnancy and newborn exhaustion that it took me a long time to notice. I noticed earlier with dd2 and he saw a counsellor. This time he seems very relaxed and we’ve talked more but I’m worried about him so keeping a close eye.

@Tonicandgin my OH suffered too - it was quite a traumatic birth and the early days are hard enough when you are debilitated through pain and infection. He had to hold it all together and in hindsight, I should have made sure he was doing ok.

@Tonicandgin we had similar issues. I had post natal depression which led to psychosis on DD1, and my DH had problems with loss of identity, change of routine etc. I am not sure it was depression, but he suffered with his mental health. We were both a complete mess to be honest. It was a tough 6 months, but we worked through it, and we are both more aware of each other this time around. We are aware of talking, paying attention to each others reactions and emotions, acknowledging how hard things are for both of us, and taking help from people (although admittedly we have no family close so no support network to speak of). Pregnancy and birth and a newborn is really tough! It's not a side you see on social media, or people speak of it. Well done for raising the issue!

@Chuckem15 I am a pescetarian for many yeats and try to be as vegan as possible daily but whilst I was pregnant and didn't know I had some chicken, but now I have gone off it again and get disgusted just by looking at it. But cheese is something I live for and I am into cream cheese at the moment with brioche ha

so glad it all went well for you @FilthyforFirth

I just had a private scan and everything is FINE! I can’t believe it - there was so much blood and I had a full 24 hrs of cramping afterwards. She couldn’t even see a reason for the bleed on the scan - there was a shadow that she said might have been an old clot but wasn’t sure, so just unexplained but nothing to worry about. I’ve spent the last 2 days just devastated so I’m over the moon. God this pregnancy has been so stressful so far!

So pleased to hear that @HarrietM87! Phew. They do like to keep us on our toes.

@Tonicandgin Originally our trust was bucking the trend allowing partners into the 12 week scan and as of today they've changed their minds. OH is disappointed but understands. I'm lucky I'm not expecting my scan for another 4 weeks so we might be out of lockdown. If I were you I'd be tempted to book in for a gender scan to make up for missing 12 weeks (assuming you want to find out of course).

Oh @HarrietM87 I am so pleased!

Hey ladies, anyone here pregnant after loss? Really struggling with the worry of it happening again, really want to enjoy this experience but every milestone I get to (8+6) I worry about how I'd cope if it happened at 11 weeks.... 17 weeks....

One of the girls I work with has just texted me asking if I am pregnant! I’m assuming it’s cause I’ve been off for so long now. My OH says I should just say no but I hate lying to people. None of my family know yet so I was thinking of telling them but my OH thinks I should wait until next week after my scan. I’m stressing about this probably more than I should.

@HarrietM87 Thrilled that you've had good news!! I was thinking of you earlier today and wanted to ask how you were doing, but was worried in case you were trying to keep yourself distracted. So glad you got an earlier private scan and the reassurance needed. xx

@SMcG1 don't be forced into telling people if you don't want to, if you don't want her to know but don't wanna lie I'd just ignore the message lol

@HarrietM87 that’s absolutely fantastic news. So happy for you.

@Tiniestsky I’ve had 4 miscarriages (and one healthy son). 3 were before my son and 1 after, so I’ve been a bundle of nerves this pregnancy, including in the last couple of days after I had a random big bleed on Sunday eve. I don’t think you can ever really have a relaxed pregnancy after you’ve suffered a loss, but I did start to chill out a bit more in the second trimester with my son as all my losses were early. Maybe don’t worry about trying to enjoy it - just accept your feelings and repeat the mantra - today I am pregnant!

Thanks so much everyone for the kind messages. It’s so lovely having support on this group xx

@Tiniestsky Yes, I am on my second pregnancy following a MMC last year on my first. So I fully understand your anxiety and cannot help having similar thoughts. I am on another MN thread that is for women currently pregnant after loss. It's very supportive and filled with good news stories. I've found it very reassuring and good at keeping my worries in check. Xx

@HarrietM87 thanks :) most of the time I try to do that, I talk to talk "sticky bean" and I tell them and myself that we need to be strong, fight and survive. I'm grateful for every day I'm pregnant and I'm sure if I see little bean on a scan it'll put my mind at ease a bit but that's not til May 7th when I'll be about 12 weeks, I've got this overwhelming fear of a mmc or blighted ovum. Googling too much has messed me up, just can't stop myself

@AnxiousLady1 I wonder if it's the same thread I'm in, what's it called?

It is comforting to know there others who feel the same and that it's normal, I'm surrounded by people that tell me "to be positive " like it's a choice I'm making

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