Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

[Avocuddles]

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

@RunWild @waitingforrainbows
You both have incredible stories, what awful suffering we all survive.

@Sunflower1608 what I understand / have read re exercise is that it's fine to keep going if you already exercise regularly, but to maybe consider moderating your exercises / slowing the pace if it's more of a struggle than usual. I'm really out of the exercise habit so taking on something new probably wouldn't be a good idea for me as my body isn't used to it, but I need to make sure I get in plenty of walking and some light aerobic exercise nonetheless. Pole dancing sounds fine, as for CrossFit it's up to you how hard you push it though don't feel disappointed if you're not up to winning first place this time!

Like you I've told a couple of people though we haven't told either of our families and would like to hold off until twelve weeks with them if possible. My theory is that if you would tell someone if you lost the baby, then what's the issue with letting them know about the pregnancy? If things do go wrong it's so important to have a strong support network around and I'm lucky to have a few close girlfriends locally who were essential in helping me through my losses. I'm not making a point of telling them, but as and when I see each of them I'll let them know as it's far less stress on me rather than trying to make excuses for not participating in things or just not being quite 'myself'.
Telling your manager sounds very sensible given your job, hopefully they will be able to make some adjustments to ensure that you are not put in any unnecessarily difficult situations.....?

@Avocuddles we were in for no chance of winning. My partner is relatively new to it all so it was more just to go, enjoy the atmosphere, have fun doing a bit of adult PE together with some people from the gym. I'm happy taking more rest days and just getting some movements in and the social company. The gym is the only time I see sane adults around work, dogs and kids. So I go more for the psychological benefit. And the coaches are great in offering alternative exercises, improving mobility and how to tone down movements.
He's had some massive life changes over the year regarding work and want to reconnect doing things together and just having fun together. We already walk loads with having 3 dogs between us. Were already on the training the dogs to baby sounds and learning better behaviour regarding no going on the furniture. So its drilled in to them.
I just want the next 12 weeks to be over so I can have my scan. We've got a holiday booked for start of april Where I will be nearly 14 weeks so thrown myself into the meticulous planning of that as a distraction. Looking at another holiday later in the year as another milestone of having something to look forward to in case it all goes wrong

@Sunflower1608 that all sounds great. It's fantastic that you're doing plenty of things to connect with your partner, it's so easy to drift apart in some ways during the tough journey of TTC after loss and so important to enjoy each other's company and make the most of life regardless.
We've got a long weekend in Edinburgh booked for late March which will (fingers crossed) be just after 12 weeks, it was booked before the BFP but hopefully timing will be just right, then will look to book another trip for later in 2nd trimester. Where's your April trip? I have such a long holiday bucket list!

Can I ask those women here who know, if there will be extra scans or tests for someone like me. I've had two totally normal uneventful pregnancies and then WHAM late miscarriage totally out of the blue.

We actually get the post mortem results back from our lost daughter in two weeks but they say there's only a 30% chance of that revealing any insight. All my test results came back low risk for Downs and Edwards etc so I'm not expecting that as an outcome.

My common sense thinking says they'll keep a much closer eye on you this time but my brain knows the nhs is overstretched and underfunded so they can only do what they can do.

@Avocuddles my Partner and my eldest son are going to Morocco while my two younger ones are away with their dad. We are doing a 3 day trek through the atlas mountains (apparently it's easy enough for elderly and older kids). Then spending the rest of the time relaxing at an ecolodge. I love visiting other countries and getting a taste of the traditional culture. We will be visiting remote villages and stating in a gite whilst trekking. I wanted to climb mount toubkal before my BFP but I was out 🤣, glad of that now.

@avocadoincident I hope you do get extra support and reassurance. Sorry I don't know the answer though

@avocadoincident not necessarily by default, but if you speak to your GP and cite anxiety after your previous situation they will hopefully refer you for an early scan. I'm having one at 7 weeks but that is via the fertility clinic rather than the EPU. As I conceived naturally they initially refused but when I became upset and explained my situation they agreed to bring me in. Good luck!

@avocardoincident my first pregnancy was fine, then I had a late miscarriage at 17 weeks, due to Edwards syndrome. Myself and partner were tested and we are both fine. When I got pregnant again there extra scans arranged for me, but I sadly lost the baby at 8 weeks. I'm now pregnant again, 10 weeks, and the epu have been great in giving me hcg blood tests early on to check the levels were increasing correctly, and early scans at 7 and 9 weeks. I have just been to the hospital for an iona nipt test, though I did have to pay for that myself. If you speak to your epu they may be able to help you too, mine have been brilliant.

I’m feeling quite crampy this evening! 😩 anyone wishing they didn’t test now? I can’t stop over thinking!

Totally @HighHopes20. 4 weeks tomorrow which feels crazy since I've known since Thursday.

I've been less crampy today but more a strange sensation, itchy like pulling feeling 🤔I've also been really tired today and felt sick a few times just before I eat. So different from last time! Have spent the last hour comparing the pregnancy test line pics from this time with the last one and the line this time is much darker despite testing days earlier than last time, so I'm seeing that as positive 😁

I don't mean literally I mean as a good sign that HCG levels higher lol 😂

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm seeing the midwife on Tuesday so I'll talk to her about it all and try and make a GP appointment too.

Good night everyone

Morning all!
4 weeks today and had to test again to make sure I'm not making it up. Will try and make that my last one 🙈

@Treaclepie19 I'm down using my cheapie Ovulation tests 🤦 still shows positive in the presence of HCG as similar molecule. I've got one digital weeks test which I'm saving for either next Friday or the one after that. I've also broken out with loads of spots. Nervous about my meeting later with my manager

@Sunflower1608 it's so hard to refrain!
Good luck for your meeting.

Here's my progression. The bottom is today at exactly 4 weeks.

@avocadoincident my fertility clinic have just basically told me to get on with it, but I would also like an early scan as I’m feeling really anxious about! Did you have to arrange to see them to explain how you were feeling? I’ve already had an appointment with the midwife at my go surgery, I didn’t want to her very much. She said if I want an early scan I’d have to phone up the epu and say I was in a lot of pain! Which I really don’t want to do if it’s not true!! Hope you’re all doing well! @Sunflower1608in terms of exercise I’ve carried on going to the gym and pt sessions as it makes me feel good and read it’s absolutely fine! The last time I was so scared to do anything and spent every second worrying so I thought this time I’ll try and keep myself more busy!

@waitingforrainbows I had an early scan at 6 weeks as I had a previous ectopic & it was to ensure things were in the right place. I’ve known for so long that I was pregnant (I must of known from like 1 week of conception lol) so I feel like it’s been a dragged out process for me so I’ve just booked a private scan for 10 weeks just for some assurance. I know it costs money but if it’ll make you more at ease then I feel it’s worth it

@Treaclepie19 great progression!
I think I need to step away from the FRERs now - these are mine from my BFP through to yesterday....I'm 4 +5 or 6 today.

@HighHopes20 I've been quite crampy over the past week but have realised that I think it's caused by gas / indigestion - things aren't moving as 'freely' as usual! Apparently this is really common when progesterone levels are increasing in the early weeks?

@waitingforrainbows I was told similar first time round (they'd only see me if had bleeding / significant pain) so I booked a private scan. It was only after the private scan showed things to be significantly behind my dates that I managed to persuade the midwife to see me. It seems to vary by area what level of support they'll give you after one or two miscarriages which seems very unfair.
Harsh as it sounds it's worth turning on the tears when you speak to the GP / EPU, it's seems to make them take you more seriously...... Could you afford / would you want to book a private scan if you can't get an NHS one?

@Avocuddles they look great!
I'm a bit worried today's isnt dark enough tbh 😔
I feel a bit more normal today too.

I'm going to ring the consultant tomorow and see if they can fit us in for a scan any earlier. If not I'll book a private one for 6/7 weeks.

@HighHopes20 gas, indigestion and constipation or loose stools ins pretty common early on in pregnancy. I've been super gassy for the last 10days! My partner is a lucky man 😆 but that can make you more crampy.

@Treaclepie19 they look similar colour to mine. Progression is the important thing and everyone has different HCG levels, some higher then others.

Your tests look great @Treaclepie19. Believe me I've wasted many hours looking at line progression photos on google!!!

Booking a private scan sounds a good idea to put your mind at ease if the consultant isn't forthcoming. 15 days to go until mine, I've only known I'm pregnant for 11 days so still feels like a lifetime away...

All the tests look great and similar to mine! I’ve had days where I feel normal too @Treaclepie19 but then felt symptoms again the next day! Thanks @bwSB and @Avocuddles I might try and book a private scan! Can anyone recommend anywhere in Manchester?

@waitingforrainbows I'm in leeds and think we have the same chains as you. I personally wouldn't recommend Window to the Womb - when my pregnancy was measuring behind they weren't at all interested, they just seemed keen to get me out of there and on to the next patient, offering me congratulations even though based on my dates things weren't looking at all positive. The other major chain close to me is 'this is my' - I believe they do sometimes offer (for a premium) sessions with trained medical professionals which I don't think all of the sonographers at some of the chains are. Your best bet is to give a couple a call and see how they react when you explain your medical history.....

I will try and stop worrying! Thanks all
I know what you mean about it taking ages, I've only known for 4 days 😂