Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

[Avocuddles]

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

@HighHopes20 did you? Was yours quite heavy bleeding then?
I did look up implantation, but I was 4 days later than my period was due which rarely happens and it was pretty heavy the first couple of days. I recall wiping a bit of pink with DD so I wasn't sure it could have been that this time round.... I will be so happy if that is whats happened.
Keeping everything crossed!

Hoping I can join too please? I have had 5 previous miscarriages over the past 10 years of ttc. Previous ones never got further than 3/4 weeks. The most recent was in Nov 2019 at 8 weeks (baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks).

However, I am currently 6+1 with our rainbow baby now... Due to the number of miscarriages in a row I have been referred to a specialist in the hospital who is now closely monitoring me for the first 12 weeks after which I will be transferred to a different unit at the hospital for more monitoring until the end. I had my first scan today and not only was baby the perfect size, we also got to see their super strong heartbeat, something we have never seen before 🥰

It's really hard sometimes to stay positive as my heart keeps telling me not to get hopes up in case something goes wrong again... It's really great to see so many others expecting rainbow babies and know that I am not the only one going through this. I know so many people who had perfect pregnancies and it just made me feel so alone when going through the struggles in my head over this all...

Any suggestions about how to end the battle in my head would be great. Should I be excited or try not to so not to get as hurt again? Apologies for the long message lol ☺️

Can I hop on board ladies 😊

Currently 4+3 so still very very early days. This is pregnancy no5 for me, mc at 8 weeks in 2017, had my son in 2018, mc in september at 5.5 weeks and again in november at 4.5 weeks. Hoping this little one will be a sticky bean 🤞🌈

Hi @Rachael321 and @LouiseD2018. I wish you all the best and hope you're on the journey towards meeting your rainbows later this year!

@LouiseD2018 am glad the EPU are seeing you quickly, I can say from experience that not knowing what is going on is the worst... Symptoms come and go all the time in the early weeks so try not to obsess over them (though I know that's easier said than done as someone with at least a dozen pregnancy tests currently sat in my bedside drawer....). We will all be rooting for you on Thursday, I hope they can give you some positive news.

@Rachael321 I've had breast pain since before my BFP in each of my 3 pregnancies, I've never made it as far along as you are currently but dread to think what it would be like if I ever did make it to the 2nd trimester and beyond! I find wearing a soft crop top in bed is essential - I've got big boobs and find that a stretchy asda crop top in a generous size does a decent job of providing support overnight. I'm also a huge fan of m&s 'fuller bust' bralets - they're wireless but offer a surprisingly good level of support which is far more comfortable than a structured bra of an evening / weekend.
The midwife appointment is nothing to worry about, it will just feel like a rather long and boring interview! It is however a good idea to mention your anxiety at the outset as they might be a bit more sensitive to your history. Let us know how it goes.....

@SammiLou2312 so glad your scan went well and you saw a heartbeat, that's brilliant. I have two weeks to wait until my early scan at 7 weeks and I'm incredibly nervous. I'm exactly like you in terms of battling with excitement / fear / a desire to protect myself in case things go wrong again. I think all we can do is take each day as it comes. I'm not sure if it's your kind of thing but I've listened to a few mindfulness / meditation recordings (try insighttimer.com for free ones) and found them useful when the negative thoughts get too much.
Are you on any mediation / a particular treatment protocol? It's great that you're getting extra support and monitoring.

@LoveRainbow02 welcome! These first days drag SO slowly don't they.... I'm crossing my fingers that you (and we all!) have a sticky one this time.

@Avocuddles thank you. I am just on additional folic acid on top of my standard pregnancy vitamins atm. Other than that it's just close monitoring at the moment, fortnightly scans until I get to 12 weeks but not sure what after that. I will have a separate midwife too (first appointment with her isn't until 18th Feb so will have had 2 scans by then). Thanks for the recommendation for meditation. Might have to give that a try ☺️

@SammiLou2312 seeing the heartbeat is the most amazing thing in the world isn't it?!! We saw ours at 8 weeks at the ACS clinic. I don't think anything will beat that feeling until after the birth.

@Rachael321 urgh, the breast pain. It's my one and only symptom. I get it very early on, at 4 weeks, so I've know every time I'm pregnant before I test. And as we progressed through to 12 weeks, every time I was worried that I had no other symptoms developing, that fact that the breast pain was still there bizarrely really reassured me. However it's was so uncomfortable, especially at night, as I twist & turn in the night. It did ease off after 12 weeks, still there but much milder. I got some wireless bras about the same time and they made it a bit more comfortable.

Have any of you told close family or made plans as to when to tell them? My hubby, best friend (my birthing partner along with my hubby) and my mum know at the moment (plus my boss at work as I need time off for all the tests etc) but we daredn't tell anyone else yet as we told them last time and then had to tell everyone the bad news when my MMC was diagnosed

@rachael321 my boobs have been getting sorer by the day from around 4 weeks. They weren't this bad last time...I have had to resort to wearing loose sports tops as all my bras are underwired and it's practically torture lol

@Avocuddles @RunWild the pain is unreal, whether I wear a bra, no bra, wireless bra or crop top. It's like they are on fire or nipples have been dragged along razor blades. I've tried hot packs, cold packs, paracetamol and nothing seems to make any difference. Comes on randomly, not set routine to it and then can last all day or just an hour!!

Not had many other symptoms really, just tired, cold, lightheaded a few times and some stomach cramping/pulling/stretching. Dunno whether I'm lucky or unlucky!

@SammiLou2312 nothing I wear seems to make a difference

@LouiseD2018 yes it was heavy for a couple of days and I thought it was my period but then it tailed off.
I did a pregnancy test a few weeks later and got a really strong positive and when I had a scan I was much further along than I thought I’d be because I’d counted that bleed as a period.
I haven’t bled at all this time which is actually making me worry more! I can’t win lol

@Rachael321 hope it calms down for you soon. Although if you are like me I keep hoping for more symptoms to tell me pregnancy is still progressing well. Think I must be one of the only pregnant women who is praying for morning sickness to come haha

@SammiLou2312 I work on the assumption that if I were to tell someone if I lost a pregnancy, then there's no harm in telling them early on so I can count on their support either way. I have told two friends so far, both were there for me through my losses so when I've seen them I've told them. There are a couple of other close friends I might tell if I see them in person, but I wouldn't go out of my way to tell them if our paths don't cross. We won't tell either of our families until as late as possible - we live a considerably distance from both of them so it's quite easy to keep it from them. I did tell my line manager the other day as I'm likely to need a fair bit of time out for appointments etc as I'm a high risk pregnancy so have far more check ups than usual.
I am also praying for morning sickness so you're not the only one! I'm feeling a little queasy and very tired in the evenings, but am fine otherwise.

@Rachael321 that sounds awful! I get occasional stabbing pains through my breasts but mostly they just feel very heavy and tender. I hope it eases off for you.

@SammiLou2312 I actually cried at your post. I really hope you get positive news at the scan as you really deserve it.

Sorry I'm totally muddled here @LouiseD2018 I wish you luck at your scan. We are all rooting for you here!

@SammiLou2312 your post made me cry!

@avocadoincident blame the hormones lol. I cry at the slightest thing ATM haha. Balled my eyes out in the scan ☺️ Hoping everyone gets a moment like I did today and that they continue for healthy pregnancies x

Last night I caved and went for a scan.

TWINS. T W I N S.

I knew they ran in my family, but

faints

And @SammiLou2312 - sending much love and hope.

@LapsedVeganEgg oh my gosh!!! Congratulations! What a shock that must have been!
How are you feeling?

@Avocuddles I think we’ve been on a few other threads together - so pleased to see you here too x

Got my BFP on Saturday morning after poas for the last week. I was diagnosed APS just before Christmas. Local EPU were amazing, by 1pm Saturday I had a big bag full of heparin injections and my first scan booked for next week. Anxious after 3 miscarriages in the last 18 months, and due date from my most recent miscarriage would have been this week - reminding myself it is out of my hands now. Wishing all us ladies luck! Xx

@LapsedVeganEgg oh wow, huge congratulations, that's very exciting!

@Rachael321 my boobs aren't too bad but currently live in a supportive sports bra none stop, sleep in one of those old lady super stretchy over the head bras and have always slept with a pregnancy pillow that also supports them in the night.

@LouiseD2018 I had bleeding between 4 & 8 weeks with my first 3 children. My first was just spotting. My second was at about 6 weeks and it was like a light period. My 3rd I had a light period like bleed at 4 weeks and a haemorrhage at 8 weeks and all turned out fine.

@SammiLou2312 I'm super excited for the morning sickness to kick in as that reassurance that I am actually pregnant to. At the min I'm only getting the occasional symptom such as super cold, breathless, exhausted, trumpy. But I want something real.

Welcome and congratulations to all the new ladies that have joined. Fingers crossed for sticky beans for all of us 💜

@LapsedVeganEgg oh my gosh that's amazing!!! Congratulations

@avocadoincident thank you, hopefully I'll be on with a positive update.

@sunflower1608 thank you, though I can imagine those bleeds terrified you at the time, it does provide some reassurance, that it can safely happen.