Breastfeeding and negative comments

[nicannie]

Right, please can people just give HONEST opinions on their breastfeeding experience/s.

I plan to breastfeed, since the day I found out I was pregnant I said straight away, I'm breastfeeding. I plan to go back to work when baby is around 10 months so I have been planning to breastfeed for around 6 months and see how it goes from there. I understand that breastfeeding isn't for everyone, and not everyone is able too. But I'm in the mindset of that I will be trying, and all going well it will be the method I use.

My MIL was absolutely gobsmacked when she asked 'you'll be bottle feeding the baby right?' And my response was no breastfeeding. Her response was 'well you'll always be doing feeds yourself' in a snippy tone, which of course I know will be the case at the start but I'm planning to express so that DH also gets to bottle feed my milk and have that bond with baby too. I think because it's her first grandchild she was just a bit disappointed maybe that she won't get that chance to do any feeds right at the start.

My mum, made a comment about how I should prepare and expect to have really saggy boobs after it, I almost felt like she was trying to put me off as well.

My DH is really supportive, all for it and hasn't said one negative word about it.

I'm only 25, but feel like everyone is putting me off by saying I'm going to hate my boobs after I've breastfed and how awful it's going to make me feel. I've came to the conclusion, that regardless of whether I breastfeed or not my boobs have already went up in size quite a bit and I think they will sag after this pregnancy anyways, so what's the difference?

I mean, did any of you breastfeed and then regret it? Or wish that you knew how your boobs would look at the end of it? I am at the stage where I'm not actually bothered, only person that see's them is DH and myself - so what does it matter?

@Fallstar I'm glad to hear someone in the 'older generation' say that. Did any one close or around you also BF or did you find it was something that wasn't done as regularly as today?

I agree, thank you x

To be fair the positive comments I've had enormously outweigh the negative. Lots of "well done you", lots of "I've been there, it's tough, keep at it", lots of support and encouragement from unlikely sources. Once a woman working in a restaurant came up to me and congratulated me on breastfeeding, told me she'd done it 40 years ago and received lots of negativity and she loved seeing women breastfeeding more openly now.

I breastfed ds for 15 months (he naturally stopped) I was 24. Went on to bf twins till 14 months I stopped when I went back to work.
A breastfeeding support group would be a good idea. You can often visit these pre birth to get some advice to.
I've used electric and hand pump. Found electric easy I also found pumping easier by adding it between feeds rather than pumping after a feed. Only one of my 3 took a bottle of expressed milk but that helped when we were out.
Your breasts will sag due to pregnancy but that's just being a mummy so you should be proud of it.
The first few weeks are hard but you'll soon get into a rhythm and then it's so easy and on tap.
My eldest has lots of health issues and the consultant encouraged me to feed as long as possible as it would help him.

@Sexnotgender that's really interesting, so did you just go back when your DS was 11 months? Is the feeding before and after work enough and working out well? Keen to know so that I can see that as a potential option for me when the time comes.

I have to say, although I had negative comments from the in laws, I NEVER had more than a look from anyone out and about. Well except when a couple of women in Tesco got all embarrassed. DS (barely a week old) was crying for a feed and DH had been carrying him. He got a few "Aw"s and smiles on the way round. By the time we got to the next aisle I was BFing DS using a nursing top, so it looked like I was just carrying him. A couple of ladies said, "aaaw, see he just wanted his mummy" and peeked over. They got embarrassed when they saw he was feeding and apologised and I laughed and said, "I wish it was me and not my boobs he wants".

I expressed from the morning after I got back from hospital, so at about 3 days old. I did it more in the beginning to try and offset the effect of giving bottles at the very beginning.

If you use a pumping bra or cut holes in NB a sports bra, you can double pump hands free, so can get on with other stuff at the time, eat lunch etc.

@SnoozyLou Wow, what a great weight! I was 9lb 5 as a baby and thought that was big! I also worry that we will have a big baby and then it will be hard to keep up, so definitely like you say, I'll try and see how it goes. I think 3 months is still really good.

Haha! Flopping about. I bet a lot of people could relate! Oh, I also heard that. So making sure I use both will help!!

I wanted to breastfeed for six weeks so that my son would get the benefit of having breastmilk at the start of his life. I’m still breastfeeding at 13 months because I love it so much! The first eight weeks were tough but since then it’s been easy.

I never received any negativity so was very lucky. I breastfed DD1 for 14 months. Boobs didn't look much different after. Maybe lost a bit of volume but wouldn't describe them as saggy. Currently feeding dd2. Love it and couldn't wait to do it again tbh.

Unfortunately I can't really express very well so just feed her myself. But there are lots of other ways dad can bond with baby. My husband didn't have any difficulty and is very close to our daughters. Bathtime etc is great for bonding or burping and cuddles after feed.

I went back to work when DD1 was 9 months. Continued to bf. She just fed more when I got home but managed perfectly well with food and water while I was away. Just keep in mind that bf can be very hard at the beginning. Both times my nipples were agony for around 5 weeks. But if you can grit your teeth and get through that bit it is so worth it imo. Good luck!! X

@Mlou32 Yes, I 100% believe that she is bitter about it and that's why she responded the way she did. My DH is really quite old fashioned in the sense that, baby won't be palmed off here there and everywhere, and that she won't be staying over at parents houses in those early stages especially. He is quite strict that way, in terms of he knows how he wants to bring his baby up, and I agree with all his views and he with mine. So that's really positive for us both. Thank you, my mum did say that to me recently, that she is my baby and I should feed and also bring up the way I want too x

@owlalwaysloveyou Thank you. I've downloaded the Positive Breastfeeding Book so looking forward to reading that.

Yes, well, I've decided that as well we won't have formula at home. We have an Asda 10 mins away in the car that's 24 hours and therefore if there does come that time, my DH will be able to go get some in an emergency situation.

Oh, I definitely think I'm going to get those comments from MIL. Yes, I think that will end up being the same for me, and then really it will be there own fault.

Thank you for your advice, will definitely have the appropriate replies ready!!

that's really interesting, so did you just go back when your DS was 11 months? Is the feeding before and after work enough and working out well?

Yes I just went back on Thursday last week, he’s at his first full day of nursery today
To be honest he hasn’t been feeding that much during the day recently anyway as he’s eating a lot more and my supply seems to adjust quite quickly.

ivent read the rest of comments so apologies..

do what is best for your family (you and baby and as an extension your partner) and dont listen to the rest of unwanted advice. 21 months bf here and my boobs look the same as before.. I returned to work when baby was 6 months and dad stayed with him at home as shared parental leave. as I couldn't express that much a he wanted he was given formula when he was with dad and bf with me . he goes to nursery since he's 1. they used to give him formula and now cows milk ... and he still breastfeeds.

It's tough, lets be honest specially the 1st months when baby doesn't latch that well or he's going through growth spurts or baby is ill nowadays or fussy and only wants boob but it's worth it.

have people around me approved it? NO. do I still here stupid comments? YES. Do I care? not at all..

my other advice would Be to search for a lactation consultant or join breastfeeding groups in your area, they've been my life saver. I didn't find midwives too supportive (specially in hospital) and I'd have given up bf on day 1 if it wasnt for the rest of support I found with consultant and groups.

Best of luck

@firstimemamma Did you go back to work at all in those 16 months? Sorry for the question, just wondered if you did and how it worked? As obviously I plan to go back at around the 10 month mark.

Yes, I would agree with the against the grain comment. Definitely, I think I just need some good come backs like you say.

That's really positive, thank you and like you say even if it had that effect it wouldn't have mattered!

Thank you, I'll look into Emily Norris tonight!

My son is one in a couple of weeks and I have breastfed home from the beginning. Yes my boobs have changed and I have stretch marks that I would have previously been distraught about but I found breastfeeding the most comforting thing of everything as a new mum. Knowing that you can provide all those extra antibodies and comfort for your baby with your body is amazing in my eyes.

Don’t stress about it and definitely stock up on lanolin ointment for the early days of cracked nipples and eye watering feeds.

You do what you think is best for your baby and don’t worry about what other people have to say x

@DesLynamsMoustache how long did your 'rough time' last at the start?

Yes!! I think this is really important, the time in the morning like you say works for you both and I think it will be similar set up to us.

Thanks for your reply. No I didn't go back to work - I'm a SAHM. I've got 2 friends who breastfed and who also went back to work though, both around 6 months I think and they expressed. It all worked out fine for them.

You'll be brilliant!

btw expressing at the beginning is :

1. not like breastfeeding in the sense dont guide yourself of I dont have milk because I cant barely pump. babies suck much better than the expressing machine and also the way the baby's estimulate the breast is not the same way as the machine. Esso dont guide yourself as per how much you can express.. I have never express more than 3 ounces of milk and I was lucky those days and as per my previous comment I'm still feeding after 21 months..baby would have got annoyed if I didn't provide enough for him for sure.

1. Expressing can alter your demand, if you express loads you're meant to have more milk than what you need and this can lead to engorged breasts and so. I'd wait for a bit to express until the feeding is kind of established. the more milk you provide the more you will create after so you might create more than what you really need and cause problems.

@melissa1215 How did you find your few months in terms of amount of feeding? noticing the feeding signs etc? Yes I've ordered some of that cream for my hospital bag, ha!

I've also bought some non wired nursing bras in advance!

That's really positive, thank you xx

In reply to your question I loved the sling. I just had a long piece of fabric one. Once I’d practised tying it a couple of times I used it a lot.

@Instagrump chavs haha! sounds like they fit in in our area lol. Wow, is all that like serious? That's insane, they do sound a bit chavvy if you don't mind me agreeing with your DH!!

It's the most natural thing, wow!! Yes, I love that. I think my DH will be exactly the same, and glad to hear it's worked for your guys as well.

Yes exactly, they sag with age anyways like you say. Thanks for confirming that!

How long did that pain last for do you think? And I'm guessing it came really naturally once the pain stopped? That's a really good point about the things that can happen out with your control....

I've also bought some non wired nursing bras in advance!

Beware lansinoh is an absolute bugger to get out the tube if it’s cold. DS is a February baby and I was confused as to why I couldn’t get the blasted stuff out the tube!! I recommend warming the tube in your hand or keeping it in your pyjama pocket like I did

I don’t know how I managed to quote the wrong bit of your post!

@Wisenotboring it definitely is what works best for you and baby, I think your experience outlines that perfectly!!

Oh my god. My MIL and own mother could not stop going on about formula feeding and even kept buying them for me. They went to waste as I refused to touch them. DS was breastfed for 2 years (that didn't stop them going on about "it's too long now, you need to wean him on formula milk"). I was 25 and they both treated me as though I was way too young to know what was best for my LO. I'm pregnant with #2 and I'll breastfeed again (if I can). DS was not often sick, and if he did catch a virus, he'd recover quite quickly - so I felt my antibodies really helped him. Cherry on top is, I quickly dropped my baby weight and saved so much money on not having to buy formula. It's a win win situation 🙌