The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

Sorry I dropped off a bit. Was admitted a couple of nights ago because of high BP and low HP levels in my blood, but luckily bp sorted itself out yesterday so was let out (went back for a growth scan and he's looking good at 5lbs 6oz so far 🤞). Have to have a few more checks in the week now until delivery, I swear I live at the assessment unit now, but still not on any tablets as of yet so hopefully it can stay like that for a bit longer. Looks like early signs of preeclampsia again but it seems to be controlling itself, ideally they want to get me to 36/37 weeks but said they'd be laughing if that happened so maybe he'll be here in a couple of weeks, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ Just a lovely bit of drama around Christmas is what we need 😅

Hope everyone's doing okay. Sorry I've not really caught up on too much over the last few days

@sadtoday21 my blood pressure is not particularly high anyway, but I found that it was low later on in pregnancy. I think this is pretty normal. I had similar readings at midwives appt last time around in third tri

@InDreamland that does sound like baby hiccups.

@sadtoday21 I hope the iron tablets help, I've been feeling better since taking them and haven't had any problems with them.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Braxton Hicks do tend to get worse when you over do it. I've got DD in nursery an extra day next week so that I can rest more.

Thank you for all the well wishes. Scan went well and blood flows have improved. Checking growth again on 23rd then induction on 26th unless there are any concerns before then.

@Twittlebee sorry missed that update. Are you on bed rest then? Really hope it stays attached, what a worrying time. Is it possible it might reattach fully?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue my life is one big braxton hicks at the moment. I think I need to drink more water. Its not bothering too much, just a bit uncomfortable.
@Indreamland hiccups feel like rythymic pulsing, I know lots of people like it, but it freaked me out last pregnancy esp when i read that after 32 weeks apparently hiccuping should not happen often and to call Dr if its you're having hiccups regularly after 32 weeks and it's onger than 15 mins. He would often have hiccup sessions up to an hour after 32 weeks. Please don't read the nonsense I read, it freaked me out so much I had extra scans to check blood flow of placenta. Should have listebened to midwife who said I'd have a huccuoy baby, I didb😂.

@sadtoday21 I just looked at my mat notes for this pregnancy and I have had recordings of 100/60 for two of my midwives appt, the booking in and the 16 weeks appt.

@Squiff70 well done Ava! Amazing to be 3 weeks already and so pleased to hear she is making progress! How are you doing?

@Beaglemum93 @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Rubyroost @Bluebelltulip thanks for confirming the hiccups. I've felt it a few times like that and thought no baby can kick to that rhythm unless they're a budding drummer or orchestra conductor.

@ChikiTIKI lovely to hear from you. Baby is now viable and had a good chance of survival now if premature, not that we're want baby coming yet! 24 weeks is a great milestone.

@Twittlebee wow that's a lot to take in. Scary about the placenta but so glad you're being well looked after by the consultant.

@TinyPaws lovely to hear from you and that you're doing well. Sorry you have piles though.

@Twitwooo getting close to half way! That drive sounds long though. Make sure you take lots of breaks on the way though.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue the Braxton hicks sound so uncomfortable. Hope you can get some rest.

@sadtoday21 sorry you're struggling. Hope you get some energy back soon once the iron kicks in. Are you taking vitamin D too?

@UnicornsandRainbows1 goodness that sounds scary. Glad you're out now but hope you don't have to go in again until baby is on its way.

@Bluebelltulip glad the scan went well.

Ladies in so exhausted but hard to sleep. I feel so uncomfortable and TBH feel so fat and like a heffer. There's so much to do before Christmas and this weekend but there's just no time or energy to do it all.

Thanks for the new thread! Sorry I'm being a bit rubbish at keeping up at the moment, I'm just exhausted! I try and read through the messages but then get distracted or fall asleep!

I'm 36+5 today and feeling pretty huge and uncomfy. Finished work on weds which was good timing really. Not sure I could've carried on much longer. So just trying to stay a bit active but also rest. My leg still isn't right after the problems I had in September with the calf strain. It's really funny coloured and swells easily so trying to combat that. Had what was meant to be my last growth scan on weds but they want me in for one more on the 27th as they struggled to get a good view and the measurements they did get suggest bubs growth was slowing a bit. I think it's prob just that they couldn't get a decent measurement but we'll see. Certainly wriggling like a trooper in there!

Got my C-section pre op on Wednesday...then the actual op on New Year's Eve...can't believe it's so close now. I'm seriously going to miss my bump, despite the discomfort/constipation/leg issues. Oh and we haven't found out the gender so we're on the "surprise" list -and I guess EDD is now 31/12/19!

@Squiff70 I'm so pleased Ava is doing ok, can't imagine what it's been like for you.

To everyone else-sorry for lack of individual replies, big hugs to all xxx

Hi everyone,

Popped on to add myself to the list! Will catch up properly soon but thinking of @Squiff70 and those ladies about to have their babies! @Twittlebee that sounds very worrying but good you are in great hands and you have an answer for the bleeding. @sadtoday21 I also want a baby moon close to London, looking at spas but need something affordable!

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Mistymeow, 36, EDD 07/04/2020-G
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

Hi, I’m a recent graduate from the ttc thread. I’m about 5 weeks pregnant with my third child. Eta 18/08/2020.

I have one DS who is 3.5 years old. I had a DD who lived until she was 4 month old and then died earlier this year. I’m now pregnant again and terrified.

Hi all.

Updated myself on the list below. If he stays in until my c section! Getting really paranoid as still getting Braxton Hicks and today did the easiest poo I've done in ages (sorry! Way too much info!) and have heard that can be a sign! Not that any of this stuff meant anything with DD - I had so many 'signs', including a show and was still two weeks late! Really hoping he stays in for Christmas though! Anyway, I feel better today as DH has done a lot with DD and I've had a bit of a lay down.

@Laney79 my pre op is next Wednesday too! I'm getting so nervous now! Even though I know c section is the best choice for me, I'm still bricking it. Have you asked for anything else/any sort of birthing requests other than the section? Mine is literally just skin to skin and to breastfeed ASAP. But know you can request music and other things. Glad to hear you've finished work too, it really does get too much at this stage!

@squiff so pleased to her Ava is doing well. I'm sending you both so much love xxx

@Pandora71 congratulations and welcome to the thread. These ladies are fab. I'm so sorry to read about your DD. What was her name if you don't mind my asking? xxx

@Bluebelltulip glad to hear the scan was better than expected. Can't believe you're booked in for the 26th - so soon! You'll probably be the next baby on this thread! I hope you are feeling ok about it all? How is your DD?

Sounds like you've had a rough time @UnicornsandRainbows1. I hope you're ok and I'm glad you're being monitored and looked after xxx

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, C-section booked for 30/12/19
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Mistymeow, 36, EDD 07/04/2020-G
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm 26 weeks and I'm having loads of braxton hicks, have done since before 20 weeks. I seem to remember you also got them last time so I'm sure that it doesn't mean anything.
The squidgy pooh? You're probably putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 5. I went from being hard to very loose before my early scans (Inc 12 week scan). This reminded me of when my missed miscarriage started, but was all fine.. Just the anxiety. Perhaps that's what has made you a bit loose. I think, given your history, hell come on your c section date.

I spoke to my midwife the other day about this and she said they'll organise things at my 36 week scan, I mentioned about them trying to change my mind.. And she said they will and do do this, then said its because of risks involved in c sections. Then I quoted the recent study at her which actually says less risks for elective after c section than vbac... Bet she thought I was a right know it all, ah well. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Sorry @Pandora71.. How rude, welcome to the thread and sorry to hear about what you have gone. Its great to see someone else arriving from the ttc thread. Hoping for more to join soon.

Thanks for asking her name. I won’t share here as risk of outing but thank you. Her would-be 1st birthday is coming up.

I’ll catch up on the thread at some point. Xx

Hi ladies I’m just checking in to see how you all are. Pleased you found the thread too @Pandora71

Hello ladies! I finally found you. Sorry I've been so absent. I've been so exhausted and just trying to get through the days. I'm 22+5 today and getting pretty round now! Getting lots of movements which has helped my anxiety but also still lots of pains which must just be 'normal' for me.
It's so exciting so many of you are nearly there now! We've started looking at a few things but still really clueless about what we need. Hoping to do some research over the holidays.
I'm beginning to get a bit freaked out at the idea of actually giving birth now. The consultant recommended an elective epesiotomy because I had to have an operation 'down there' a few years ago which is a new procedure so they don't know what will happen during birth. I have to say this scares me a lot as I have a total fear of the unknown and also of all things medical, oh and I'm terrified of tearing

Anyway, I'm going to try to keep up with the thread from now on

Thanks for the new thread @KnitKitty and for mentioning me in the OP. I'm not a hero (far from it). I'm just a terrified mum of a very premature baby.

We've had a scary evening with little Ava but she's stable and sleeping now. I have a bit of a throat infection so I'm not allowed to touch her at the moment.

I'm almost fully recovered from the sepsis now.

Elliott's funeral is on Monday 23rd December. It's the saddest possible Christmas for us but we have to keep going for Ava.

I'm reading all your posts but typing on my phone which is temperamental at the best of times so please forgive me for not doing a long, taggy catch up post.

I'll check in as and when I can. Keep going ladies, you're all doing amazing.

Oh I just remembered...

A couple of days after Elliott was born I was moved to another ward from the delivery suite. I made the mistake of asking for maternity pads and got the response "We don't provide them here, you should have come prepared".

Who the FUCK has a hospital bag packed expecting to deliver their baby/ies at 22+5???

I was and still am absolutely mortified.

Pack lots of pads everyone, and the softest toilet roll you can find!

@janey15 I had an episiotomy because I had to have forceps and have had basically no pain at all from it. I'd imagine a tear would be much worse!

@Rubyroost I got freaked out about the hiccuping after 32 weeks being a sign that there was problems with the cord too but the midwife said it was normal. That info is based off one study with sheep, not humans...

Sorry you've got piles @TinyPaws. I can sympathise, I've had one since giving birth and can honestly say it's the only thing that's physically bothered me since! The episiotomy was nothing compared to how uncomfortable it is haha.

@Twittlebee sorry you got such scary news at your scan. Glad the consultant is nice and is going to keep a good eye on you. My mum had similar when she was pregnant with my brother (the placenta was attached to a fibroid and kept lifting up) and he was fine, so hopefully all will be well with you too.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm getting on well thanks. My DS is now a week old which is so hard to believe! I still can't really believe he actually made it. He has made all the pain and anxiety of pregnancy after loss worth it. You don't have long to go now! I'm looking forward to getting more updates on this thread of babies being born!

I really hope you’re ok @Squiff70 I have just come to check in on you all on this thread and saw your update

@Twittlebee glad your appointment went well and you feel confident in your consultant, it's a scary reason why you keep bleeding but at least you do now know why.

@Laney79 glad all is going well apart from your leg.

@Pandora71 welcome to the thread, sorry about loss of your DD.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue my Braxton Hicks have been getting stronger too. Your getting close now and I hope the pre-op goes well. It feels scary that in less than 2 weeks I'm going to have this baby, now to get my head around the fact that the most likely outcome is bringing a baby home this time. DD is excited, she wanted to buy the baby a toy bee yesterday so went around the shop going buzz buzz then as soon as we got home she put it in the babies cot.

@janey15 yay for movements, seems like an elective epeisotomy would be the most controlled option. You hear s lot of bad things about tearing but it's not always the case, I had a third degree tear with DD1 which required going to theatre but the recovery went really well.

@Squiff70 sorry to hear Ava had a scare but glad she is stable now. Hope your throat infection is better soon. My thoughts are with you for Elliots funeral. That's awful that they said that, I ran out when I was in after DD2 as I wasn't expecting her then either and I certainly didn't feel like shopping from between her death and birth and I was just given them.

My in laws are over this weekend and are excited but not quite understanding that we aren't feeling that way. It's DH's birthday later in the week but it's also the anniversary of finding out DD2 was very poorly.

DH's birthday is a day before the anniversary, just realised it looks like the same day on my pp.

Morning all, just popping on this morning for a catch-up but may not be around much after this because we're moving house on Saturday so currently in the midst of chaos.

I've had a pretty uncomfortable weekend and ended up calling the emergency midwife number last night because of how uncomfy I was. Basically I think because my womb is entirely on my right side Baby Girl is growing in to my ribs and it's been causing me issues around that area. But by last night I was worried it could be something more sinister and was actually in tears saying to OH "what if the rest of my pregnancy is just like this, I can't cope!"
Well the midwife was fantastic, as usual. Questioned me to rule out preclampsia and said that without any other symptoms they would advise trying taking paracetamol, applying some warmth to the area and/or having a warm bath; but to call them back if it didn't ease and if it stopped me sleeping.
Stupid as I am it hadn't even crossed my mind to take a paracetamol before... My brain doesn't always compute if something is uncomfortable or genuinely painful (possibly a throw-back when I had chronic pain for 7 years). I did as advised, and miraculously felt a million times better after an hour!
I have an appointment with the midwife this morning so will be getting my blood pressure and urine checked and will make sure I tell her about this weekend. And then I have my next growth scan on Tuesday (slightly nervous).

Also, I hit 34 weeks this Wednesday so will finally be coming off the progesterone pessaries... Feeling stupidly nervous about that.

@InDreamland here's your Boots list for hospital bag: mini shampoo & conditioner, tooth brush, tooth paste, shower gel, deodorant, disposable razors, sanitary pads, breast pads, cotton wool, femfresh wipes, water wipes, anti-bacterial hand wipes, Lanisoh nipple cream, organic nappy cream (can't remember what it is now).
That's all I can think of... There might have been other things...

@sadtoday21 Yup, all ready and waiting now. Had to be organised because of the house-moving at Christmas. Even have all my Christmas presents wrapped and labled already.
Sorry to hear about the anaemia. Hope you manage to get your iron levels up again and feel less tired.

@coconutlatte44 That's great that you're feeling more at ease about giving birth naturally now. It's all very daunting but I think mother's instinct really helps your body know what it is capable of.

@Beaglemum93 Of course we don't mind you chipping in still! It's lovely to hear from you! How are things going?

@ChikiTIKI Yey! 24 weeks is quite the mile-stone! Congrats!

@Twittlebee I'm glad you finally have an answer about the bleeding, but gosh that must be stressful. How are you feeling?

@TinyPaws Glad to hear you're doing well!

@Twitwooo Oh dear, the throwing up for so long in to pregnancy does not sound fun. I'm sorry you're still suffering with that. I hope your midwife appointment goes well today. Mine didn't listen to the heartbeat at 16 weeks as it's often difficult to find and can cause more panic rather than reassurance. But if you need to hear it, maybe ask?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Hope you're not finding the Braxton Hicks too disconcerting. You need to make sure you're resting enough and keeping hydrated!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 Sorry you had to get admitted to hospital, but I'm really pleased they're looking after you so well. Sounds like your baba is a healthy size. I was only 5.14 when I was born full-term! I think my Baby Girl is on the tiny side too... Will get an estimated weight tomorrow but I'm not expecting her to be 5lbs yet... Fascinating considering we have the same due-date.

@Bluebelltulip Great news about the improved blood flow. Best of luck for the induction in case I don't manage to get back on here before then. xxx

@Laney79 Lovely to hear from you, and congrats on starting Mat leave! I can't wait...

@Pandora71 Welcome! Congrats on the BFP. It is a terrifying time, but we're all here for you!

@janey15 I've been wondering how you are. Good to see you found the thread.

@Squiff70 Big hugs xxx

Good morning. How was the weekend? DS has norovirus here, hoping I can avoid!

@sadtoday21 - how are you feeling now? Did you contact your MW?

@UnicornsandRainbows1 - bit of a worrying time for you atm then! Does sound like they are keeping a close eye on you. Really hope you make it until that 36/37 week mark!

@InDreamland - any chances of getting everything sorted from comfort of your home, i.e. online shopping, delegating chores?

@Laney79 oh it is getting so close! Just over 2 weeks to go!

and @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue it is even closer for you! Sounds like possibly before, hold in there! Although I guess if you did go before christmas at least you'll have room for extra yummy food at christmas! I always find I can barely eat once I get a bit later on.

Welcome @Pandora71 - I am sorry you find yourself in this club but a gentle congratulations on your pregnancy. Really hope everything is as easy as can be for you.

@Rubyroost I'd go in armed with the report, knowing exactly the details about it - where it came from and how it is exactly applicable to you. I guess at least I know I wont have to fight for a ERCS as for safety they want to do a CS.

@janey15 tbh that does sound like a worry, that really is so unknown

@Squiff70 I hope Ava is still doing okay (and continues to do so) and I hope that throat infection of yours clears up real soon. I shall certainly be thinking of your family on the 23rd, just so sorry. I also had that shocking experience of lack of any sort of compassion with things like that - who expects to give birth that early and would go prepared?! Reminds me of the horror I had less than 48 hours post section when I was told I had to vacate the room I was in, I asked for help and they said I should have had my husband there with me still, I asked if I could wait till he arrived (2.5 hour journey, he was also with our other son at the time) and they said no and told me to get out now! So there was me, in agony, trying to move 4 massive heavy bags from that room to NICU which took me over an hour to do at a very slow crawl. It is awful with how there seems to be no care or understanding sometimes.

It does sound like a horrid time of panic with that though @KnitKitty - espeically as pain udner the ribs always scares me too at thought of preclampsia! Hopefully you wont experience that again. And good luk with coming off the pessaries, I do get that worry.

Not much to report here really. Just thank you for asking after me everyone. Head is a mess still after that consultant appointment. Keep thinking how I might already be half way through my pregnancy. Going to get my labour bag packed at 20 weeks I think

Hi everyone. Thanks for the warm welcome. I have no logical reason to worry about this pregnancy but it isn’t that simple. I’ve never had a miscarriage or stillbirth. At the moment I’m mostly coping by ignoring the pregnancy tbh! (Taking vits, no drinking etc of course). GP wants to send me for an early scan for no medical reason but just for some reassurance and help me attach (do I need to attach to a 6 week foetus?). I’m so much more aware now of chances of losing the baby.

Mostly I’m missing DD so much. She was so beautiful and happy and clever. She would be turning one next week.

Just popping my head in to say congratulations @Squiff70 on little Ava ❤️ I am so sorry to hear about your little boy Elliot. Sending lots of love.

Hoping everyone is doing well. We're back to ttc after a 4 month break after my second mc and hysteroscopy last week. Had a polyp removed which I think might have impacted on my second pregnancy. Hopeful that I'll be back here again soon 🌈 lots of love xxx