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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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It’s not my husbands baby!!!

259 replies

Ashley021 · 08/09/2019 06:35

Hello again everyone, I shared a thread a few weeks back about my situation, I didn’t reply but I read everything and I listened to everyone advice and opinion respectively.

Anyway I’m lost I don’t know what to do or where to go as I done a prenatal paternity test while carrying and the results came back as not my husbands.

I’m currently 25 weeks pregnant and my husband still thinks it’s his baby, we already have a little boy together and I’m so devastated about ripping the family apart because of my little boy. I feel so so so guilty, I feel like I have destroyed my life.

The guy who baby I am carrying is a wonderful guy to be honest and has said he wants to be involved and he is very excited about having a little baby girl but at the same time he is very very scared of the future especially because of my situation, and how my husband will react.

So I’m super confused what to do?

Do I tell my husband? now that I know the results so far into the pregnancy? I’m scared his reaction could put me into labour!!!

Do I not tell him and pretend it’s his child to keep my family together?

Do I not tell him YET and wait for baby to be born then do a DNA test?

I’m just so scared myself on what to do, there isn’t no easy way out and I have to suffer the consequences as it was my choice to cheat on my husband. Just not sure what next step to take.

Thanks for listening.

OP posts:
PlinkPlink · 10/09/2019 20:02

No, punishing herself would be to constantly be thinking about this mucked up situation.

Punishing herself would be having these thoughts whirring constantly in her brain, making her sick, making her anxious...

Telling the truth would be the honest thing to do and would not punish her. It would relieve her of her guilt - guilt for lying about the affair, guilt for lying all this time to her partner.

And the funny -not funny at all- thing is, if she had come on here saying she had been open and honest with her partner and told him the truth, you sound like you'd be one of the ones that come on here and go "Well, you cheated, it's your fault. I have no sympathy for you whatsoever. You deserve every ounce of misery you get".

(Genuinely hope you aren't one of those)

saffy1234 · 10/09/2019 22:10

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LouMumsnet · 10/09/2019 23:00

Thanks for the reports on this thread.

We'd like to remind you that Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier. While we encourage healthy and robust discussion, we hope that everyone can respect each other and express their views without resorting to personal attacks. We're sure you'd all agree that parents-to-be and new parents need all the support they can get. After all, parenting is hard enough without facing judgement and criticism.

Peace and love.

Jesskir89 · 11/09/2019 20:41

@ashley021 any luck with speaking to dh?

Amanda313 · 17/01/2021 19:14

I wonder what decision she made and what happened?! I hope she comes back and responds.

MimiDaisy11 · 17/01/2021 20:02

OP, have you made a decision and gone through with it? You said the dad would respect your decision and is scared of your husband, but really you don't know how he will react when you have the child and he can't see his daughter much. So I agree with others that even though it will cause so much damage the best worst option is to tell your husband soon.

EleventhNight · 17/01/2021 20:13

Where’s Jeremy Kyle when you need him?
In all seriousness, you need to tell your DH the truth.

lucyrp · 18/01/2021 07:22

I'm sorry but the other guy saying he will give you peace is a load of rubbish. I had a kind of similar situation where I was with a long time partner and we went on a break and was going through a shitty patch in life at the same time and got friendly with another bloke and one thing led to another. Thought nothing of it and got back with my partner and found out I was pregnant when I was already 8 weeks. Didn't even think about this other man and he didn't contact me until DC was 1 and said he was cool with me taking as long as I needed. In the end I got blackmailed into doing a dna test and then someone he'd told messaged my partner and told him he wasn't the dad. You're better off just telling your husband now and seeing what happens. It will only get worse.

lucyrp · 18/01/2021 07:23

Just seen this is an old thread! Wonder what decision you've made and hope you and baby are okay 💓

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