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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is my ex lying about being pregnant?

169 replies

Rev97 · 17/05/2019 15:39

Hi all,

I have come here as you have far more knowledge and experience over these matters than me. I know the only way to know for sure is to wait, but I was wondering what your opinions are on this matter as this is now making me seriously unwell.

My ex partner and I broke up approx. 2 months ago. She had been messaging a LOT and it was verging on harassment so I asked her to stop and eventually blocked her on WhatsApp. She then immediately reverted to text message and so I blocked her on there too, but for some reason this didn’t work and messages continued to come through, although I did not reply.

I then got a message saying “my pregnancy test wasn’t negative”. A strange choice of words I thought, but I couldn’t ignore this so began to message again.

She said she had been for her pre-depo pregnancy test 24 hours previously (I know she does always have pre depo tests) and that 2 tests from the same urine sample had been positive and that she had been told to book an appointment with her GP for a blood test. On her first appointment for the blood test she said that she got too distressed, couldn’t have the test and that the GP prescribed her a benzo and booked another appointment a week later. I asked if she could just do another home urine test but she refused and said that there was no point. She went to the second doctors appointment a week afterwards and messaged a week after that saying that the results were positive. I had reasons to question her truthfulness and asked for proof of the results. She said that she had received the results over the phone, but would get a copy of the results from the GP and send them me. This was 3 weeks ago…she claims that she has chased them on 3 occasions but that they still haven’t sent them. She also has online access to results through SystmOnline but says that all the results on there have gone.

She then said that she has been to a meeting to discuss termination of pregnancy but I am 99% sure this is not true as she stated that she had an appointment at a time when the clinic is not open. She also said at this meeting that she was sent for a scan straight away and was made to listen to the heartbeat????

She then continued to send me vile messages (over 20+ daily) and so I contacted the Police regarding harassment although I have not made a formal complaint at this time. I told her to make no further contact with me (and will make a formal complaint if she does) until she proves pregnancy.

Then…less than 24 hours after saying prove pregnancy or no contact, the results from the doctor that she has waited 3 weeks for, are conveniently delivered to her. She said she insists on redacting all personal information apart from her name and confirmation of pregnancy. I agree; but add that if I discover that this document is not authentic/forged/amended then I will go to the police immediately and will pursue with the formal complaint of harassment. She tells me I am going to receive nothing now as I’m threatening her.

Do we think she is lying? This has been going on for so long now and it’s making me so, so ill. Any advice would be so gratefully received.

PS…
We did have intercourse 1 month prior to breaking up (early-mid Feb), but she is on the depo and I also put protection on before climax.

OP posts:
MrsFoxPlus4 · 17/05/2019 15:44

Iv never known anyone to be forced to look at the baby or listen to the heartbeat at a termination scan. I went with my friend and they asked her before if she wanted to 1. Know if there was more than 1 baby, 2. See the screen or not. She declined.

HumpHumpWhale · 17/05/2019 15:46

Uh... I have no idea. But I really hope for your sake that she's lying. It sounds like a nightmare. Ithink it's unlikely, but she conceivably could be, I think, if she was near the end of the depo period.
Could you ask to meet up with her, bring a home pregnancy test, and ask her to take it then and there?

Samind · 17/05/2019 15:47

Is there an unbiased person in the situation like a mutual friend between you pair?

Obviously you don't want to talk to her but need to know what's happening so could someone act as a go between if communication is so bad.

GeoffreyEatsPancakes · 17/05/2019 15:51

Iv never known anyone to be forced to look at the baby or listen to the heartbeat at a termination scan

I believe that some clinics do in the US to persuade the woman to keep the child. They are pro-life clinics.

She just needs to do a home pregnancy test. It is all too weird.

It does sound like she is desperate to be back with you but is a complete drama nightmare.

Drum2018 · 17/05/2019 15:53

If she produces a baby in a few months do a DNA test and take it from there. Does she somehow think you will get back together now if you think she's pregnant?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 17/05/2019 15:57

I’d put money on there being no pregnancy.

WinnieTheW0rm · 17/05/2019 15:57

She is certainly going about things in a strange way.

Did the redacted letter include a date? Has she said when her expected due date is, or when MW appointments will start?

A pregnancy will become apparent in the coming weeks. Very unsettling for you right now, but the truth will be self-evident (to you, or to mutual friends).

You need to start thinking about what sort of role you want to play in your DC's life (if there is a DC), and how that can best be done if she continues to be somewhat erratic

Erignon · 17/05/2019 16:07

I'd wait until the baby was born and then demand a DNA test. No contact until that point. She sounds unhinged. Get a restraining or non-molestation order

Heyha · 17/05/2019 16:13

Would a GP do a blood test to confirm pregnancy? Mine didn't even do a urine test.

Plus if I was having a blood test it wouldn't be the GP doing it anyway, it'd be at the drop in sessions at the hospital with the blood ladies.

However it will depend where you are I guess. As others have said, see how things pan out. You're doing the right thing by calmly being non-contact with her.

Capybaras · 17/05/2019 16:20

The doctor would never prescribe a benzodiazepine to a woman who was potentially pregnant. That plus everything else she's saying makes me think she is lying to you op

Shadow1234 · 17/05/2019 16:22

I don't want to say she's lying, but I think you are right to have suspicions. Are you in the UK OP?

Teddybear45 · 17/05/2019 16:22

Contact the police, make a formal complaint, get a restraining order. If she is pregnant that will look better for you if you decide to pursue full custody.

Original poster
Rev97 · 17/05/2019 16:28

Yes I am UK based

OP posts:
Mog6840 · 17/05/2019 16:34

I agree with the PP. No doctor would prescribe Benzodiazepine to a potentially pregnant patient.
I think it will be one apparent that there is no pregnancy.
Good luck!

Mog6840 · 17/05/2019 16:35

*become

VapeVamp12 · 17/05/2019 16:41

I was on depo for 8 years and I never had a "pre-depo pregnancy test" - so I thought that sounded a bit odd straight away!

Also, when I found out I was pregnant I just told the GP, she didnt test and neither did my midwife at booking in. Actually the NHS didn't "check" I was pregnant until we saw the baby on the 12 week scan!

I don't like to say it but I had a termination in 2013 and they definitely didn't make me listen to the heartbeat. I only saw the scan print out because I asked to, it was inside a medical folder.

I think all of what you have said, put together means it is quite a high chance your ex is lying.

jacquesjacques · 17/05/2019 16:43

Add to the above that you'd really need to be at a certain gestation to be able to hear a heartbeat, let alone be 'forced' to listen to it. I had a termination over a decade ago and I didn't even have to look at the screen if I didn't want to. I'd take this with a very large pinch of salt OP. Have you thought about what you will do if she's telling the truth, unlikely as it seems?

Montagu90 · 17/05/2019 16:43

Everything about what she's saying is wrong.

No way would any doctor prescribe that and also no clinic would force a heartbeat listen (having been to one myself)

The burden of proof is on her-if she's not willing to give it then I wouldn't force her. Accept it's a lie and move on as you are.

Continue to report harassment and assume it's made up nonsense to provoke a reaction (as that's what it sounds like)

WildImaginings · 17/05/2019 16:45

I've been on the depo for about 2-3 years and I've never had a 'pre depo' pregnancy test!

Montagu90 · 17/05/2019 16:45

And add to PP about pre depo test-I was on it for years and never once had a pregnancy test beforehand

I think 8 weeks is earliest you can hear heartbeat and even then, it's hit and miss (although I know you can see it on scans earlier?)

Aquamarine1029 · 17/05/2019 16:45

I think there's an excellent chance she's lying, but even if she isn't, my advise would be the same. Cease any and all contact with her and go to the police if needed. If there is a baby, it will arrive soon enough and you can get a DNA test to confirm paternity. Until then, try not to worry because there's nothing you can do. Just move forward as best you can.

ControversialFerret · 17/05/2019 16:47

Sounds like bullshit to me.

queeflett · 17/05/2019 16:47

i smell a rat there as well.

Doyoumind · 17/05/2019 16:48

If she managed to get an appointment with a UK GP twice in the space of two weeks, she's lying. Agree a GP wouldn't be doing a blood test either.

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/05/2019 16:52

So much wrong in what she's saying. I was on demo for over 10 yrs, never had pre depo test. I've been pregnant 3 times, only once had a Drs pregnancy test, which was a bit standard urine dip which showed positive in 1 minute or less. She's pulling a fast one. Or trying. Badly.

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