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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is my ex lying about being pregnant?

169 replies

Rev97 · 17/05/2019 15:39

Hi all,

I have come here as you have far more knowledge and experience over these matters than me. I know the only way to know for sure is to wait, but I was wondering what your opinions are on this matter as this is now making me seriously unwell.

My ex partner and I broke up approx. 2 months ago. She had been messaging a LOT and it was verging on harassment so I asked her to stop and eventually blocked her on WhatsApp. She then immediately reverted to text message and so I blocked her on there too, but for some reason this didn’t work and messages continued to come through, although I did not reply.

I then got a message saying “my pregnancy test wasn’t negative”. A strange choice of words I thought, but I couldn’t ignore this so began to message again.

She said she had been for her pre-depo pregnancy test 24 hours previously (I know she does always have pre depo tests) and that 2 tests from the same urine sample had been positive and that she had been told to book an appointment with her GP for a blood test. On her first appointment for the blood test she said that she got too distressed, couldn’t have the test and that the GP prescribed her a benzo and booked another appointment a week later. I asked if she could just do another home urine test but she refused and said that there was no point. She went to the second doctors appointment a week afterwards and messaged a week after that saying that the results were positive. I had reasons to question her truthfulness and asked for proof of the results. She said that she had received the results over the phone, but would get a copy of the results from the GP and send them me. This was 3 weeks ago…she claims that she has chased them on 3 occasions but that they still haven’t sent them. She also has online access to results through SystmOnline but says that all the results on there have gone.

She then said that she has been to a meeting to discuss termination of pregnancy but I am 99% sure this is not true as she stated that she had an appointment at a time when the clinic is not open. She also said at this meeting that she was sent for a scan straight away and was made to listen to the heartbeat????

She then continued to send me vile messages (over 20+ daily) and so I contacted the Police regarding harassment although I have not made a formal complaint at this time. I told her to make no further contact with me (and will make a formal complaint if she does) until she proves pregnancy.

Then…less than 24 hours after saying prove pregnancy or no contact, the results from the doctor that she has waited 3 weeks for, are conveniently delivered to her. She said she insists on redacting all personal information apart from her name and confirmation of pregnancy. I agree; but add that if I discover that this document is not authentic/forged/amended then I will go to the police immediately and will pursue with the formal complaint of harassment. She tells me I am going to receive nothing now as I’m threatening her.

Do we think she is lying? This has been going on for so long now and it’s making me so, so ill. Any advice would be so gratefully received.

PS…
We did have intercourse 1 month prior to breaking up (early-mid Feb), but she is on the depo and I also put protection on before climax.

OP posts:
Heyha · 17/05/2019 16:53

Actually that's a really good point, I didn't hear the heartbeat until 16 weeks and many ladies on the pregnancy board say their trust won't try to find it to listen to until the 24 week appointment as it's not guaranteed to be heard at 16 weeks and they don't want to worry people.

SoupDragon · 17/05/2019 16:53

Yeah, I reckon it's a pack of lies too. A blood test after two positive urine tests...? Benzo...?

queeflett · 17/05/2019 16:54

call her bluff. be all happy, want to be there at ,midwife appointments. In fact offer to go with her to scans blah, blah.

she`ll have a "miscarriage" soon ;)

its the oldest trick to making someone stay I`m afraid

birdling · 17/05/2019 16:54

None of what she is saying sounds like she has any idea of the nhs processes that happens when a woman first becomes pregnant. (i.e not a lot)
I'd say she's making the entire thing up.

Montagu90 · 17/05/2019 16:58

Oh yes, totally agree with @queeflett , a miscarriage will happen soon and she'll try and pull on your heart strings.

You sound much better off out of this one!

Dvg · 17/05/2019 17:03

Definitely lying :D congratulations on getting out of that crazy relationship.

Comps83 · 17/05/2019 17:06

Wow she sounds delightful
I’d cut all contact until she demands a dna test, which she will not as I reckon there is no baby and like pps have said you can expect the tale of the miscarriage next but don’t fall for it.

MrsHormonal2019 · 17/05/2019 17:07

Going by last time you had sex she would have got pregnant around same time as me so would be aorund 13 weeks give or take lmp. I had a blood test to confirm pregnancy with first child as I requested it because the urine tests were coming back very faint and even Dr one was inconclusive. Was a weird few weeks of wtf is going on.
She'd have had her first scan by now also or any day now at the least

UhOhSpagettiOs · 17/05/2019 17:13

Actually, I had a termination in 2003 and I had to watch the scan and see the heart beat etc. The ObGyn was used to working in a hospital rather than the BPAS clinic so showed me out of habit!

Cheers for that, Dr!

TheOnlyMrsA · 17/05/2019 17:32

A former colleague of mine went for a termination and did have a scan to asses where she was in the pregnancy. She saw her feotus on the screen and heard it's heartbeat. She was distraught but had to go through with the termination regardless.

Graphista · 17/05/2019 17:50

Yea I'm calling bullshit on all that too.

I've been pregnant 3 times, had 2 mc and high risk pregnancy with dd.

NONE of what she's saying makes sense. No GP I know would give a pregnant woman benzo.

queeflett · 17/05/2019 18:01

so having re read OPs thread, shed be 3 months aprox now.

OP ask her about what bloodtests the midwife gave her/ what went on at her first appointment? (well know from the answer if shes telling porkies ;) ).

whens the scan or if she says oh I had that....ask about how shes been dated, nuchal fold etc....... how much was £ was the photo. If you know her family/ mum etc, tell her youll HAVE to be involved now as "daddy" and say youll be wanting to tell them (gush on about it....).

watch her crumble.

Paultrybudget · 17/05/2019 18:06

Sounds very suspect to me.

However I had a private scan at 8 weeks and the sonographer let us hear the heartbeat.

Original poster
Rev97 · 17/05/2019 19:05

Thank you for all of your responses.

None of it makes sense to me either. But the small chance it could be true is causing my mental health to plummet :-(

OP posts:
Ariela · 17/05/2019 19:18

When I was on Depo, it took a full 9-10 months for the hormones to stop working, didn't have a period all that time.
I'd call her bluff and ask when the first scan is because you 'want to see our baby' . You'll then find she has 'already had the first scan', so ask to see the scan photo of 'our baby' Then search for the scan photos and compare the ages. Also search for scan photos from the same hospital - different machines have different screen layouts and different headers - she'll of course scrub them out, but hopefully you''l find she's used a random scan from a different hospital.

Mamabear12 · 17/05/2019 19:18

She is not pregnant. She is on depo AND you used a condom. Impossible with two forms of protection and sex only one time that month.

Illberidingshotgun · 17/05/2019 19:33

I would put money on her not being pregnant. None of this is ringing true, there are a lot of things in her story that just wouldn't happen.

Block her for once and for all, and stop letting her mess with your head.

LuckyLou7 · 17/05/2019 21:45

She's not pregnant, she messing with your mind. Block her on everything. Get a restraining order if she continues. She's lying through her teeth. Does she have mental health issues? It was the mention of being given a benzo that made me wonder (not that any same GP would administer that particular medication to a pregnant woman) if he has any ongoing problems.

Iswallowtoothpaste · 18/05/2019 08:12

My OH’s ex did this to him when he tried to split with her.

All bull shit.

Original poster
Rev97 · 18/05/2019 10:36

Thank you all so much.

Everything is so easily faked these days - she has access to NHS letterheads so could easily forge a letter, you can buy positive pregnancy tests, scans etc. It's an absolute minefield.

She was going to show me the 'results' until I said "if I find they are forged I will continue with the full harrassment complaint". Then she refused as I'm threatening her and causing distress to her.

She then said she'd show them to the police if I gave her my crime ref (not a chance am I sharing that! !!) and I think she knew that I wouldn't. So that strengthened her 'look I am trying to show you' case, when really she knew I would never give her a crime reference that relates to her.

I hope I don't seem like an evil man. It's just this lady has given me significant reason to doubt everything that comes out of her mouth.

OP posts:
klendraa · 18/05/2019 10:39

She’s probably lying but wait until a baby is born (if one is born) and go for DNA test

PrayingandHoping · 18/05/2019 10:40

Simple answer if to say you'd like to see the baby and you are going to book a private scan and you are going to attend. She must be about 15 weeks.

If she's lying she'll refuse

overthehorizon · 18/05/2019 10:43

You don't sound evil at all- you sound totally lost. Ignore her if you can, until she actually produces a baby.

TSSDNCOP · 18/05/2019 14:40

Well done for using the condom, you clearly didn't want to chance a pregnancy and that's probably one of the smartest decisions you've ever made.

I think if you phone a friend make or female and tell them what you've told us they'll help to reassure you. You sound an awful lot like a man that needs a friend to turn to right now.

outvoid · 18/05/2019 15:50

If the text block continues not to work I would strongly consider changing your number. She is abusive and you were right to contact the police. I had an ex like this myself once, he just wouldn’t leave me alone for months after we split and I also had to contact the police who were very helpful and had a word with him so it completely stopped.

I highly doubt she is pregnant. The injection is highly effective and you used condoms too. She’s just trying to get a response from you.