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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is my ex lying about being pregnant?

169 replies

Rev97 · 17/05/2019 15:39

Hi all,

I have come here as you have far more knowledge and experience over these matters than me. I know the only way to know for sure is to wait, but I was wondering what your opinions are on this matter as this is now making me seriously unwell.

My ex partner and I broke up approx. 2 months ago. She had been messaging a LOT and it was verging on harassment so I asked her to stop and eventually blocked her on WhatsApp. She then immediately reverted to text message and so I blocked her on there too, but for some reason this didn’t work and messages continued to come through, although I did not reply.

I then got a message saying “my pregnancy test wasn’t negative”. A strange choice of words I thought, but I couldn’t ignore this so began to message again.

She said she had been for her pre-depo pregnancy test 24 hours previously (I know she does always have pre depo tests) and that 2 tests from the same urine sample had been positive and that she had been told to book an appointment with her GP for a blood test. On her first appointment for the blood test she said that she got too distressed, couldn’t have the test and that the GP prescribed her a benzo and booked another appointment a week later. I asked if she could just do another home urine test but she refused and said that there was no point. She went to the second doctors appointment a week afterwards and messaged a week after that saying that the results were positive. I had reasons to question her truthfulness and asked for proof of the results. She said that she had received the results over the phone, but would get a copy of the results from the GP and send them me. This was 3 weeks ago…she claims that she has chased them on 3 occasions but that they still haven’t sent them. She also has online access to results through SystmOnline but says that all the results on there have gone.

She then said that she has been to a meeting to discuss termination of pregnancy but I am 99% sure this is not true as she stated that she had an appointment at a time when the clinic is not open. She also said at this meeting that she was sent for a scan straight away and was made to listen to the heartbeat????

She then continued to send me vile messages (over 20+ daily) and so I contacted the Police regarding harassment although I have not made a formal complaint at this time. I told her to make no further contact with me (and will make a formal complaint if she does) until she proves pregnancy.

Then…less than 24 hours after saying prove pregnancy or no contact, the results from the doctor that she has waited 3 weeks for, are conveniently delivered to her. She said she insists on redacting all personal information apart from her name and confirmation of pregnancy. I agree; but add that if I discover that this document is not authentic/forged/amended then I will go to the police immediately and will pursue with the formal complaint of harassment. She tells me I am going to receive nothing now as I’m threatening her.

Do we think she is lying? This has been going on for so long now and it’s making me so, so ill. Any advice would be so gratefully received.

PS…
We did have intercourse 1 month prior to breaking up (early-mid Feb), but she is on the depo and I also put protection on before climax.

OP posts:
macncheese87 · 20/05/2019 10:06

She's not pregnant. She sounds like hard work.

If she was pregnant, she'd have proved it by now, probably 1000x over.

But all she has done is stall showing you any proof. All of her timings and excuses do not run true. Particularly the benzodiazepines and the blood test. All bullshit. Also the depo can affect fertility for up to a year after (more often than not) so pregnancy is already unlikely.

Stay no contact. Get out of there. If a baby were to arise, have a DNA test because she sounds desperate.

Original poster
Rev97 · 20/05/2019 10:27

This is precisely how I saw it, in my head.

She waited 3 weeks for the 'results', then 'received' them the very next day after I said prove or no contact. Either extremely convenient or utter b/s!

OP posts:
justchecking1 · 20/05/2019 12:10

There are MH meds' you shouldn't get pregnant on, lithium, carbemazepine, valproate, etc.

The perinatal team thing wouldn't hold true around here, it would likely be shared care.

I also very much doubt she's pregnant

KatherineJaneway · 20/05/2019 12:13

I think she is lying and like a pp said, she may invent a miscarriage as a reason to keep in contact with you.

Original poster
Rev97 · 20/05/2019 12:20

...before contact was cut she actually made two comments about miscarriage:

  1. "My friend has just experienced a miscarriage, it must be the most horrendous thing for her".

and on a separate occasion...

  1. "It's a wonder all the stress you have caused me hasn't caused me to miscarry...yet".
OP posts:
ememem84 · 20/05/2019 12:29

Count down to miscarriage in 3...2...1...

I’ve known a friend get pregnant, show scans (which can be found online and photoshopped), Have a miscarriage. All for attention. No longer a friend.

Original poster
Rev97 · 20/05/2019 12:40

You are all helping so much on here at an incredibly distressing period of my life. I am so grateful. Thank you. Is there a charity close to your hearts where I can make a donation to show my appreciation?

OP posts:
Cosmogirl86 · 20/05/2019 12:51

Liar liar pants on fire

I can't believe women still try to trap men this way! Gives us all a bad name

EggAndButter · 20/05/2019 13:03

I have yet to see a GP doing a urine test and then a blood test to confirm pregnancy.

EggAndButter · 20/05/2019 13:08

Also the midwife and the abortion clinic are two separate things..
She wouldn’t be referred to the MW.. just told to book an appointment with them. Scan is organised by the MW.
She would be given the details of the clinic if she had asked for that. You wouldn’t hear the heartbeat att the scan. You don’t hear it at a normal scan!

Original poster
Rev97 · 21/05/2019 10:51

I really mean it about my donation to charity. Please let me know somewhere that means a lot to you all and I will make a contribution as a token of my thanks :-)

OP posts:
mawof3soontobe · 21/05/2019 13:05

As much as I believe this woman is absolutely lying to you, I just had to correct everyone saying no doctor would prescribe a pregnant woman benzos.... I was prescribed diazepam from 6weeks pregnant as the hormones were causing me unbelievably horrific panic attacks. The rest of her behaviour absolutely points to lies though

clairelee17 · 21/05/2019 13:46

Definitely lying. If you've waited three weeks for confirmation, along with the fact that she couldn't/wouldn't do a home pregnancy test, but magically produced 'confirmation' once you threatened police action, then it all sounds fishy to me. Ask her when her booking in appointment is then, or if she has her 12 week scan date yet, and ask to see proof of both letters.

Mrsmummy90 · 21/05/2019 14:01

I also think she's lying. So much of what she's saying just doesn't add up.

Drogosnextwife · 21/05/2019 14:07

Na she's telling porkies.

ThePerturbedPenguin · 21/05/2019 14:19

Yeah this all sounds totally made up.

PetraRabbit · 21/05/2019 15:36

It sounds like she's playing a game to get your attention. I feel really sorry that you're the target of this and that it's having such an effect on you. I don't think you need to donate to any charity- you really don't- but a charity I'm sure everyone here could get behind would be any charity for premature babies or children with cancer.
I think in your position I'd be tempted to keep trying to trip her up, but it's so difficult as it seems she is enjoying the attention. It must feel impossible to win! Good luck!

smallereveryday · 21/05/2019 18:55

You could make a donation to Women's Aid. To help women who genuinely ARE left pregnant and fleeing abuse.. I for one will say thank you x

Original poster
Rev97 · 22/05/2019 14:10

I have made a £25 donation to Women's Aid and a £25 donation to Bliss. I'm sorry it couldn't be more. Thank you all for your time and effort helping me.

OP posts:
Comps83 · 24/05/2019 19:00

You really didn’t have to do that OP but thank you. Please keep us updated

HJWT · 24/05/2019 19:21

Shes sounds like a fruit loop OP! 😂

maria2bela · 25/05/2019 19:32

@Rev97 Why not just message her and say, some of the things you've said don't add up. I don't want to call you a liar or anything but I'm going to give you an opportunity to just tell me now if you're doing this because you've found the break up tough to deal with. If that's the case, you need to be honest and let me know, I won't say anything to anyone and we can just move on. If it's genuine then I'd like to be involved to support you and my unborn child. Could I please can I come to a GP appointment with you or I'll book a private can and we can go together, I can get one sorted for next week...See what she says?

Whatwillhappentomorrow · 26/05/2019 16:26

Very kind of you to make a donation to such incredible charities.

I hope you have some clarity by now.

Original poster
Rev97 · 26/05/2019 16:59

I have received an email from her today saying she has received a letter that her termination date is 14th June (3 weeks). It will be 18 weeks since we last had sex by this point.

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 26/05/2019 17:10

I still think she's pulling a fast one Rev, o hope you're upset by this impending "termination". Or does she want you to go with her?

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