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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is my ex lying about being pregnant?

169 replies

Rev97 · 17/05/2019 15:39

Hi all,

I have come here as you have far more knowledge and experience over these matters than me. I know the only way to know for sure is to wait, but I was wondering what your opinions are on this matter as this is now making me seriously unwell.

My ex partner and I broke up approx. 2 months ago. She had been messaging a LOT and it was verging on harassment so I asked her to stop and eventually blocked her on WhatsApp. She then immediately reverted to text message and so I blocked her on there too, but for some reason this didn’t work and messages continued to come through, although I did not reply.

I then got a message saying “my pregnancy test wasn’t negative”. A strange choice of words I thought, but I couldn’t ignore this so began to message again.

She said she had been for her pre-depo pregnancy test 24 hours previously (I know she does always have pre depo tests) and that 2 tests from the same urine sample had been positive and that she had been told to book an appointment with her GP for a blood test. On her first appointment for the blood test she said that she got too distressed, couldn’t have the test and that the GP prescribed her a benzo and booked another appointment a week later. I asked if she could just do another home urine test but she refused and said that there was no point. She went to the second doctors appointment a week afterwards and messaged a week after that saying that the results were positive. I had reasons to question her truthfulness and asked for proof of the results. She said that she had received the results over the phone, but would get a copy of the results from the GP and send them me. This was 3 weeks ago…she claims that she has chased them on 3 occasions but that they still haven’t sent them. She also has online access to results through SystmOnline but says that all the results on there have gone.

She then said that she has been to a meeting to discuss termination of pregnancy but I am 99% sure this is not true as she stated that she had an appointment at a time when the clinic is not open. She also said at this meeting that she was sent for a scan straight away and was made to listen to the heartbeat????

She then continued to send me vile messages (over 20+ daily) and so I contacted the Police regarding harassment although I have not made a formal complaint at this time. I told her to make no further contact with me (and will make a formal complaint if she does) until she proves pregnancy.

Then…less than 24 hours after saying prove pregnancy or no contact, the results from the doctor that she has waited 3 weeks for, are conveniently delivered to her. She said she insists on redacting all personal information apart from her name and confirmation of pregnancy. I agree; but add that if I discover that this document is not authentic/forged/amended then I will go to the police immediately and will pursue with the formal complaint of harassment. She tells me I am going to receive nothing now as I’m threatening her.

Do we think she is lying? This has been going on for so long now and it’s making me so, so ill. Any advice would be so gratefully received.

PS…
We did have intercourse 1 month prior to breaking up (early-mid Feb), but she is on the depo and I also put protection on before climax.

OP posts:
binglybongly · 26/05/2019 18:01

well that means shes telling a porkie!! once shes refererred to another trust, they`ll not be doing the future appointments lol!

OP police. don`t be a doormat .

theyll have a chat with her and shell stop this nonsence, plus they will tell her in no uncertain terms what a nasty thing shes doing. youre being too nice and doormattish now.

binglybongly · 26/05/2019 18:08

if the police thinks she is unwell they`ll call out doctor for that too.

peigi · 26/05/2019 18:36

As soon as I read that the doctor gave her a benzo after being distressed at a blood test I started disbelieving this, because that alone is absolute bullshit

DockerDre · 26/05/2019 18:44

Well you seem convinced she's lying, just block her and have done with it.

TroysMammy · 26/05/2019 18:44

I've been working as a GP Receptionist for nearly 10 years and no-one has been sent for a blood test confirming a pregnancy. The midwife also said that as bought over the counter pregnancy tests are so accurate these days a GP appointment is not necessary, they can just book straight in for an antenatal appointment.

I also cannot believe a GP would prescribed a benzo knowing she was pregnant.

DockerDre · 26/05/2019 18:46

@TroysMammy I had a few blood tests to rule out ectopic pregnancy. As a GP receptionist, you wouldn't know that.

TroysMammy · 26/05/2019 18:46

Also the Practice Nurse would only insist on a pregnancy test before administering a depo if the patient had delayed the follow up appointment or had failed to attend the follow up appointment on time.

TroysMammy · 26/05/2019 18:49

DockerDre no I wouldn't because if a GP suspected an ectopic pregnancy the patient would be sent to the hospital's early pregnancy unit where the relevant tests would be carried out. Blood tests in pregnancy are not carried out in the surgery routinely.

DockerDre · 26/05/2019 18:54

I know. Which is why as a receptionist you wouldn't know.

Cosmogirl86 · 26/05/2019 19:54

@DockerDre do you really believe that this woman is pregnant?

Darkstar4855 · 26/05/2019 20:10

A surgical termination (requiring anaesthetic) at 20 weeks pregnant would be very unusual. Usually at this stage they are done medically with tablets, as the surgical procedure is risky and also very traumatic to perform.

The NHS does not usually offer termination beyond around 14-16 weeks either, unless it’s for medical reasons. Usually after that you have to go private.

I can’t say for 100% certain that she’s lying but it sounds highly suspicious to me.

bobisbored · 26/05/2019 20:16

I'm pretty sure that a 20 week termination wouldn't just be a quick wait in the car park for her thing. You have to take a tablet then another 24-48 hrs later which effectively brings on a miscarriage.

SinkGirl · 26/05/2019 20:31

I couldn’t even get Valium when I was an emotional wreck after watching my mother die - the idea that theyd prescribe it for a potentially pregnant woman because she’s scared of a blood test is beyond ludicrous. I am terrified of needles and have needed a lot, and they’ve never given me anything to calm me down!

I have SystmOnline access - I can see all blood results going back years. If they did a blood test, it would be on there. But they don’t do blood tests for pregnancy - the urine test would have been sufficient. I suppose they may if there were a reason she shouldn’t be pregnant (eg if she’s on medication that would make that dangerous) but I suspect they’d refer straight to hospital after the urine test.

FlowerPowerBecky · 26/05/2019 20:33

I would personally cut all ties with this women, block her number, email everything! She sounds very strange...

And if she persists to contact you keep log and report it! She's just trying to string you along because she's playing being the "women" in this situation, scary lady more like!

hmga90 · 26/05/2019 20:39

I personally would text her and tell her not to contact you again. Change your number, make a new Facebook in a different name (for example if your name is Adam John Smith make a Facebook as Adam John or John Adam or Smith Adam or the like, something she wouldn’t think to search)

Tell her if she is pregnant you will deal with that when the baby is born after a DNA test. No she isn’t going to like but I will bet all the money in the world she will do anything to keep you in her life and will soon take you up on that “when the baby is born”.

Make it clear if any further contact is attempt over the coming months you will seek a restraining order on her- which I imagine will raise eyebrows with social services.

VikingVolva · 26/05/2019 20:55

Medical abortion is used only up to about 10 weeks gestation.

10-15 weeks gestation, then it is by vacuum/suction aspiration.

15+ weeks, then D&E (dilation and evacuation)

It sounds like OP has found out that her local hospital does not carry out D&E, and women are referred elsewhere.

This might mean that she is pregnant, but it is not OP's. Or it is entirely invented

(BTW surely the key diagnostic test for establishing if a pregnancy is ectopic is scan, not bloods?)

SinkGirl · 26/05/2019 21:08

HCG blood tests can indicate ectopic as the levels don’t rise the same way - if an ectopic were suspected they’d probably refer you straight to the EPU, however. In America HCG blood tests are often done - here its pretty rare unless it’s indicated by your medical history. Again, seems like she’s spouting off stuff she’s seen in films / TV shows.

I concur that you should block her and tell her that there’s no need for you to have any contact unless she has the baby in which case you’ll be wanting a DNA test.

QueenBeex · 26/05/2019 21:14

you should block her and tell her that there’s no need for you to have any contact unless she has the baby in which case you’ll be wanting a DNA test

^^^^^^^^^^^

SinkGirl · 26/05/2019 21:27

And thank you for your charity donations OP. BLISS were incredible when my twins were in NICU. I very much appreciate you doing that.

overdrive · 27/05/2019 14:53

How do you think she'd react if you told her you want her to keep it?

rainbowstardrops · 27/05/2019 15:52

It does all sound a bit questionable

mawof3soontobe · 10/06/2019 22:22

Any update @Rev97

Original poster
Rev97 · 11/06/2019 13:17

I have blocked her on everything. She contacted my mom with the same story...mom questioned why she hadn't been referred out of county and she threatened us all with a non molestation order.

She's lying.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 11/06/2019 13:28

She sounds bloody mad. Are you still taking her for the termination next week ?

Darkstar4855 · 11/06/2019 14:06

You’re doing the right thing, OP. No contact unless she produces an actual baby (and even then I think I’d want a paternity test).