Due November 2019 Thread 4

[Smiffette]

JoJoSaysHello 27, 18/11/19, baby #1
OhMarnie 28, 11/11/19, baby #1
Smiffette 35, 04/11/19, baby #1
LittleAndOften 40, 10/11/19, baby #2
AcatcalledGary 32, 13/11/19, baby #??

Hello,

Congratulations to all of the Mums-to-be. I started to read all of the thread to try to get up to date and managed to get part-way through thread 2 (45 pages!) before realising it was going to be quite a mission!

I'm 16 + 3 weeks and this is my very first pregnancy (I fell pregnant really quickly). Bubs is due 21st November and I will be a 39 year-old First Time Mum. It's been an emotional and challenging journey so far and so it's been encouraging to read on here that most of my symptoms have been experienced by others. I alternate between sad/terrified and excited, but I have had the support of some amazing family and friends and a brilliant hubby. My main frustration has been the exhaustion and insomnia (I could cope with the nausea); hopefully this will pass soon. I'm still not showing and so it's easy for me to pretend that this isn't happening! :)

I was planning to join you earlier, but due to my age and high HCG reading I was put in the high risk category for Downs Syndrome. Thankfully the NIPT test (formally known as Harmony) confirmed that there were no issues, but it was an incredibly stressful couple of weeks whilst I waited for the results. I'm still a little nervous about the 20 week scan.

My husband and I left Facebook last year and so I'm hoping this group can offer me some support over the next few months and my journey into parenthood. Are there any other older first-time Mums in this group? I'm also interested to learn about anyone else who will be relying on public transport to get around during pregnancy and with the baby (all of my Mum friends have cars). Prior to discovering I was pregnant my motorbike was my main source of transport and I'm rather scared about the restrictions that public transport will bring. I'm lucky enough to live in an area with a good bus and train system, several friends have cars and a Zipcar is within a 20 minute walk, and so hopefully I'm just overthinking the situation.

Another worry is becoming lonely and isolated. At the moment the plan is to be a sahm for the first few years, whereas almost all of my friends work. Some of my good friends have been a great support. Unfortunately a couple of friends did not take the news well, because they are unable to have children themselves.

Has anyone started to look at buggies/prams? There is so much choice, it's a little overwhelming! I was originally planning to buy second-hand, but I've been very impressed with the reviews for the iCandy Lime. It's lightweight, compact and seems to be very public-transport-friendly. I'd love to know what other options everyone is considering.

Sorry - this has turned into quite a long post! I look forward to e-meeting you all.

@snowy0wl welcome! I used public transport with DS1. Depending where you're based it can be better than others! I struggled with buses (not having space for pushchair) but walking everywhere was fine and when I went back to work the train was fantastic! All the ration and train staff in my line still remember the days Ds travelled with me. I had a McLaren pushchair was it was easy to fold down, less expensive and suitable from me born. I've heard a lot of good things the Lime tho ... just the prices that put me off!

I don't drive but DH does so my pushchair is mainly for walking around. I need a double tho as have DS2 who is 1 in 2 weeks.

I'm planning to be a Sahm too this time(can't afford nursery for 2 and older ones after school care) it can be isolating but hopefully you'll find lots of baby groups to go too!

Welcome @snowy0wl! Although I drive, when I had DS one he would scream constantly in a car seat and also wouldn't go in the pram. In fact we only managed to start using the pram at 10/11m because he hated it so much. I found wearing him in a sling or carrier much more comfortable and then it also meant we could easily get on public transport. So easy to wrap baby on your front, rucksack on your back and then you have complete freedom to go anywhere. This time I'm not even buying a pram (although if my addiction to carrier is like last time, this won't save me any money).

Not in the same position of being a sahm, but a did find that I lost touch with a lot of childless friends as we had little in common anymore. I made a couple of really good friends at baby groups that 3yrs later I still text most days and see at least once a week. I do see my old friends too, but less frequently (although more of them have children now so understand how hard it is to commit to weekends away or posh adult restaurants for lunch).

Hey @snowy0wl if you can find any mother and baby groups or anything to join do it it'll stop you from feeling so isolated and give you a chance to make new friends. I'm thinking of joining a BF group in town and looking to see if there are any mother and baby swimming groups or anything a little different just to get out and meet a few other mums.

I enjoyed being a SAHM the baby years are great all the little baby grows and watching them do and learn all these things for the first time is amazing and it really does go fast I hated having to send my second off to preschool knowing I wouldn't have a constant shadow! I run my own business from home now it's mainly seasonal so it's busy during the school holidays but the kids are at home on the farm and can have friends up and goto the beach in the evening so they don't miss out and I don't have to pay for childcare so I've kind of found the best of both worlds.

I've been looking online for a second hand pushchair/travel system. I won't use it much I live in the middle of nowhere the kids can't even find a flat place to ride their bikes so a pushchair isn't top of my list.
I'm thinking of getting a co-sleeper cot though I had a Moses basket before and a cot when they outgrew it. I liked the mobility of a Moses basket but I want to try something different.

Thank you to @Mintypea5, @PyjamasForever and @Farmmum7 for the warm welcome and words of encouragement. The sling sounds like an excellent idea. It never occurred to me that my little one may hate to be in a pram! :/ Are sling brands all much of a muchness? xx

@snowy0wl there are so many different types of slings and carriers. I liked a stretchy sling at first and then either a Tula or connecta carrier (connecta folded into my bag, but Tula was really comfy), whereas my husband always preferred a woven wrap. Lots of places have sling libraries where you can try things out and borrow them. If you're going to use it a lot, it needs to be comfortable for you.

@snowy0wl if you have a sling library near you I'd say use that to find one that suits you! I was brought an expensive one for my maternity gift from work and kids hated it!! Got a cheaper one from Argos last year with DS2 and he loved being in it 🤷🏻‍♀️

@snowy0wl welcome! When I had my eldest I never drove and only used public transport - it was great! I actually hate using the car - mine both hated it as babies and wrestling them into car seats as they get bigger isn't much fun either. Even when I had a double buggy I had no problems on public transport - including at tube stations without lifts where I may have been seen chasing a group of men down to get them to carry the double up the stairs 😂

Re pushchair I would recommend getting second hand if you can - I only used my baby pushchair for nine months before I switched to a lighter folding one, and second time I didn't use it at all as I needed a double as older one was only just two.

Hope some of this helps!

Hi Everyone
I hope you don’t mind if I join you - I am due on the 23rd November with my first baby. I am very nearly 30 and feeling a little unprepared - there’s so much to think about!

I’ve read through as much as I could of the thread - so impressed with all of you who are all ready looking after little ones. I’m exhausted just going to work each day!

I had my 16 week appointment today and it was so nice to hear the heartbeat.

@snowy0wl I’ll be using public transport a lot as we’re in the London suburbs it’s pretty good and parking is hard! Might be easier than driving sometimes as you can give the little one full attention? Or that’s what I’m telling myself!

Does anyone else get a thing where their tummy is much harder on one side than the other when they wake up in the morning?? It disappears quite quickly but is odd and very lopsided

And has anyone signed up for private antenatal classes? So far I have found only found Bump and Baby Club in our area which sounds nice but is quite pricey!

Hope everyone’s feeling ok!

Morning! Thanks @PyjamasForever and Mintypea5 for the sling library recommendation - I will do some research.

Great to hear that @Kaff83 and @Ubbee will be using public transport too. I admire you for using a double buggy on the tube - you must have strong arms!

@Ubbee - welcome. You are due around the same time as me (my baby is due 21st November). I have also experienced your "tummy thing". The left side of my tummy feels a lot harder/tighter than the right. It's a strange feeling! I also experienced the most excruciating muscle stretching pains on my left-hand side a couple of weeks ago. I'm only planning to go to the NHS antenatal classes, due to some unexpected costs earlier on in my pregnancy. Hopefully I can supplement with books and other info? Another friend has booked with Bump & Beyond.

@snowy0wl yes that’s exactly the same as me on the left side! So strange. Also feel you with the muscle stretching! Ouch.
The NHS ones where we are are only one session which we’ve been put on a waiting list for so I’m not holding my breath...

We've just booked an NCT Course for September. It was more money than I was hoping to pay! But I'm so worried about feeing isolated I'm hoping it will be worth it. There didn't seem to be many course options local to me!

Yes just booked into an NCT course, it is a lot of money so hoping will learn a few things and make some friends too! Have heard good things apparently valuable for those early days as a mother!

I'm not planning to do any classes this time around. My NCT classes were worth it the first time though - not so much for the information, which you can pick up from other sources, but more the camaraderie of chatting to other first timers - even ended up on the same post natal ward with one of my group which was fab!

I did NCT with my first and it was really good to make that network of mum friends. Fast forward almost 3 years and four of us still meet up most weeks and have been on holiday together with all the tots! Best friends I ever bought

I did NCT with my first and it was really good to make that network of mum friends. Fast forward almost 3 years and four of us still meet up most weeks and have been on holiday together with all the tots! Best friends I ever bought

Anyone else been a hormonal dragon today or just me?

Had a midwife appointment today and got to hear the heartbeat. Also got referred to the physios finally! Otherwise it's been such a rubbish day, poorly toddler, 2hr round trip for work with poorly toddler, leaking bathroom and mad rush to clean the house before the plumber arrived all topped off with toddler puking on the carpet while the water supply to the house was turned off.

I went from being super placid to getting angry at everything. I have shouted at my phone, a coach or 2, a text from the school, pedestrians, cyclists, the computer and myself for forgetting to put my knickers on...I can't wait for Saturday so I don't have to leave the house!

I hope your LO is feeling better soon @PyjamasForever!

I finally had my booking in appointment today! The consultant was pretty pissed that my bloods hadn't been checked when I started bleeding because I'm rhesus negative. He didn't tell me the gender but he did let us listen to the heartbeat and is letting me have scans at 22 and 32 weeks so theres still time to find out what we're having.

Where can I find maternity clothes?! I went all over town today and nothing!! I think I'm going to have to spend tomorrow morning online I need trousers!!

@farmmum7 I’ve found boohoo to be quite good. That’s good youll get the scans- I’m getting really impatient for my 20week one so I can find out the gender. Did have one booked for next Tuesday but we cancelled it because €115 we could spend elsewhere plus we’d have to go to Dublin which is a kerfuffle in itself.

@Farmmum7 H&M have some nice things. They do good jeans and leggings but I didn't buy trousers so I don't know about those! They had it in store near me but you might need to order online if you don't have a store or your store is smaller.

Had my 20 week scan yesterday. All ok but couldn't do the blood flow bits on heart as baby was too wriggley and would stay in the right position. Mean I get another sneak peak of baby week Monday though so quite pleased he/she was uncooperative!

I've just got some bits from New Look and their jeans are the best fit I have found. H&M also very good but seem to have been out of stock of all size 12&14 skinny jeans for weeks! Asda also have a maternity range which is nice and cheap but I found the cut to be a bit frumpy and the elastic band on the jeans was so thin it ripped as I pulled them on!

@HeartvsHead lucky you get a bonus scan! Can I ask, do you need a full bladder for 20 week scan?

@Sleepyquest on the letter it said to but I was sent for a wee part way through in an attempt to give the baby more room to shift in the right position (which then gave him/her too much room and they wouldn't hold still!).

Probably easiest to be full and then empty if needed then have wait around for it to fill after a drink if needed.

The letter I have for my 20 week scan says you don't need a full bladder. I'd agree to take a bottle of water and have a drink before hand you can always empty it if need be.

I went to New look today and they told me they don't do maternity in that store anymore I'd have to try cork which is 2 hours from me so I'll look online it's cheaper to have things delivered than do all the driving! I just want jeans so I don't have to wear long tops with leggings.

I've fully popped the bloating has gone now and I'm just left with a bump I've no chance of hiding!