Convince my mate - there's no greater act of fiction than a birth plan - how'd u stray from yours?

[jaynehater]

My first birth plan called for whale noises and lavender and soothing massages, while real life coughed up four hours of induction, ventouse, epidural and gas-and-air.

Second birth plan, newly realistic me said 'drug me' - and I gave birth on the dining room floor leaning against the hoover playing jigsaws with dd1.

How badly did you all stray from your birthplans,(or am I alone here?!?) so I can convince my first-time pregnant list making deluded mate not to put so much store by hers (it's not how organised you are, Penny, it just happens!!!)

I didn't have a birth plan, just went in with an open mind!

My birth plan wasn't even looked at which I'm pretty peed off about to be honest. I'd still write one again next time but I'd make damn sure someone read it and took it seriously, I'll probably have a doula next time to make sure that someone is there to see that it all goes as I've planned.

I personally think it's good to read up your options before the time comes so you know what rights you have before you get there. I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to that were told 'okay we're just gonna give you this injection now to deliver the placenta okay?' hardly giving someone an informed choice is it?

mine was respected by the unit midwife- she said she could see i didn't want the placenta injection, and was that still what i wanted...i said no, crack on and get it out of me! she also said she could see i didn't mind a student being there, was that still ok? she was lovely in fairness.

having a plan avoided alot of faffing really- they passed DS straight to me for skin contact as i'd asked, and they also asked DH if he wanted to cut the cord without pushing him (he didn't want to in the end)

I said no pethedine, none. The minute the doctor suggested I take it I caved. I would have done anything at that point to make the pain easier.

Does anyone get into the water in labour on the NHS....I liked the idea of using it for pain relief....but got in to find that my hospital didn't do it if your waters had broken....i may be being ignorant here but how many women does that leave who could use it? (hmm)

Plan A - home water birth

Went out the window when I went 14 days overdue

Plan B - Induction then hospital water birth using active birth techniques, definite no to pethidine

Went out the window after failed induction. Begged for Pethidine. Twice. Epidural after 30 hours. Then I was in heaven (relatively). When they said it was going to have to be an emergency c-section I was relieved.

Birth plan was a waste of time in that respect but it kept me sane whilst pregnant believing I had some control over what was going to happen.

I did a birth plan for ds's birth - which took into consideration my ideal, (ie see how it goes) ... but was very specific about drugs I couldn't have (allergic to pethidine), and also about my needs in terms of severe spd and coccydinia (ie not to lie on my back)...

the only thing I didn't think about when doing the birth plan was induction ... cue horrendous 4 day induction, ending in my legs being forced into lithotomy by mw who laughed off my objections (because, as I had had an epidural it wouldn't make any difference) ... then attempted ventouse after I'd been pushing for several hours, and c section.

Am now pg with #2 (and even more severe spd this time around) - and will be writing a birth plan again - but with the help of the doula I've hired ... the birth plan may not make a lot of difference, but the doula hopefully will!

They put me in the water ( although didn't give birth there) and my waters had broken

aw, dont piss on her plans man. shes prob well aware things can go differently than planned and has no doubt allowed for that... mine said for eg, if X happens id prefer Y to Z course of action etc., but was obv open to medical recommendation...
theese are her last days of innocence, of regular sleep, of dreaming and fuzzy planning... dont muddy it all up for her, you big meany.
fwiw- mine did go exactly 'to plan'. does for some, not for others.

and ; apols if youve already said you will - i havnt read the thread!!

When I tried to explain to my Portuguese obstetrician the concept of a birth plan, he actually laughed out loud. For a long time.

It was on yer back, feet in stirrups and shut up there - I am still VERY ANGRY about this as you can tell!!!

I did the natural birthing antenatal course, birth plan was give birth at lovely birth centre in pool with only gas and air if necessary, put DS to breast as soon as...

Ended up going into labour too early for birthing centre, forgetting to take birth plan to hospital, throwing up on the gas and air, having epidural, having loads of antibiotics cause temp went up for no reason during birth, having episiostomy, minutes away from C-section with cord wrapped round DS neck TWICE so it kept pulling him back in, screaming at the midwife to 'get it off me' once he was born.

I think I was lied to and told a load of bollocks during my pregnancy and I think that had a big impact on the fact that I ended up with PTSD and PND.

Have a birth plan by all means. But don't let your birth plan stop you from finding out all the info you can about the other options. You might need that info if birth doesn't go to plan.

My birthplan included being at home with a tens/gas and air and clary sage oil burning. Definately no epidurals or surgical intervention! When it came to it he was 2 weeks late so had to be induced...in hospital... And so severe was my reaction to the prostin that I ended up with pethedin, an epidural and when 28 hours later they tentatively suggested a C section I yelled I dont give a flying how you get him out just get him out!!! My advice...write your plan then rip it into tiny pieces and burn it

Hmm, if you have a birth plan be a bit careful who you give it to - have heard one or two anecdotes about DHs saying to shrieking labouring women "now darling we agreed, no drugs"...
I had a plan for water birth, no epidural - the hospital had a birthing pool and they said I could use it as long as it wasn't in use by someone else when I went into labour (!). Spent a lovely giggly evenign with my two best friends about a month beforehand making up a compilation tape of favourite and appropriate songs (my comment quite early in PG had been 'bollocks to whale music, I want COurtney Love, Patti SMith, Polly Harvey and Queen Adreena). I gave my birth plan to my mum and friend who was going to be my other birth partner with the understanding that I might change my mind about the drugs.
Well I got induced at 41 weeks and strapped to a monitor after the first does of prostin didn't work - luckily after the second dose I had a nice midwife who explained I could stand up and pace a bit as long as I kept the monitor pads on. Had gas and air, threw up but kept going with it, towards the end started yelling for an epidural and got this memorable comment off a midwife 'By the time the anaesthetits's put his cup of tea down and got here you'll have had the baby'.
Ages of pushing and the took the G&G away but eventually DS appeared. Had injection for placenta, his injection for Vit K (I had insisted on the second, didn't care one way or another about the first ) and they gave him to me straight away. Then my mum held him for an hour or so while they stitched my fanjo back together.
SO have a plan, it probably helps, but do make it a what-if-well-then type plan rather than a rigid one.

Just like venuscalling...

10 weeks of yoga before EDD, wanted TENS/gas and air, yoga, breathing, music, birthing pool and essential oils in the hospital home from home birth area (with fab views of London's main attractions). Definately nothing involving a needle/knife.

INSTEAD...DS was induced when I was 2 weeks late. After 18 hours of labour I nearly sent the midwife onto the local streets to get me something to smoke that was stronger than gas and air (what the hell is that stuff about? Though I'd like a canister by my desk at work to ease the pain of stupid clients!).

At 22 hours I shouted for an epidural (first one didn't work, so I had a second), then at 25 hours I agreed to a c-section immediately, asking them to be careful not to hack thru what stomach muscles I had left), rather than waiting another hour and risking a hatchet job.

But after all that I had a gorgeous DS and came out of hospital very happy with how it had all gone in the end. Which I guess is all that matters?

The thing that went most wrong with my birth plan was the bloody TENS machine. What a pile of cr*p. I had it on full pelt and it didn't even touch the contractions (this being when it was "too early" for g&a). And I was collapsing with pain so I couldn't even control the bloody thing - I got so confused and it started hurting my back a lot so I ripped it off in the end.

The only thing on my birthplan was 'i want an epidural as soon as i can'. and i demanded it, and it was fantastic. and i had a long and complicated delivery but it was great. def recommend the mobile epidural

Btw if everyone tells medical students to go away, how the hell are they going to learn? Mind you, the fact that I couldn't feel anything 'down there' probably made me more generous. I was going, 'yeah, have a great rummage. its a good opportunity for you to feel what its like in real life...'

Krang, so sorry to here about your birth and your PND. Just wanted to ask you two things, why do you think you were lied to in pregnancy and what's PTSD? Hope you don't mind me asking.

Hey, mum2george, don't mind you asking at all. I try to be very upfront about my PND and PTSD as I don't think it's talked about enough.

PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder. You've probably heard of people suffering from it after a disaster or an accident. It can also happen following a birth. Symptoms are nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, etc. It's not yet known how it's linked to PND but it certainly seems to be a risk factor for it. The Birth Trauma Association has a lot of info on their website.

I feel I was lied to because I was given the impression by my antenatal classes that painkillers are something bad to be avoided, that any woman can have a fantastic birth if she just relaxes enough, that Rescue Remedy is great for labour pains (looking back, that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard), and that if you don't have the birth you want it's somehow your fault for being in thrall to the male-dominated scientific and medical establishment.

I now know better, and would like to salute the medical establishment for inventing epidurals.

haven't read all this thread but, krang, ain't that the TRUTH. Hats off to you for putting it so plainly

Didn't write anything as such, but only absolute was dh was to identify sex and tell me rather than mw, which was great although both times m/w had to ask us if we were going to look. Otherwise had read everything on homebirth, but a plan might have made me think about things I hadn't done, like possibility of early arrival, (ds at 36 weeks)didnt have injection for ds, as there was not one available, placenta took forever to come out, (and very painful - whatever had got me through the birth had definitely worn off) so had it with dd which was much better. With ds had repair under general, which was great, but failed to pursuade them after dd, so had argument with dr everytime the local wore off. Great for DH who had few hours to get to know baby's one to one

I refused to have a birth plan, just to go with as little fuss as possible and if I wanted/ needed more then I would cross that bridge if/ when I got to it.
I absolutely wanted skin to skin and the cord to stop pulsing if possible and luckily was able to get that, as well as the calm(ish) 'natural birth' I wanted.

Krang, thanks so much for replying. It sounds like you had a terrible time, are you getting the help you need now?

I don't think any woman should be made to feel bad or inadequate over pain relief. No one can predict what will happen on the day or how you will feel. What is ok for one woman is def not for another. Instead of giving you the impression that painkillers were bad I think they should have informed you properly about the pro's & con's of each one so that you could have made an informed choice.

You've probably read that my birth with DS went pretty much to plan and it really p*sses me off when people say "oo, you did well". No I didn't, I think I was just extremely lucky. No-one has much control over how long it all takes and how tired they get from labour.

Talking about Rescue Remedy being one of the funniest things you have heard, was looking in my Bounty Book at what to take into hospital and it said jigsaws! Have you ever met a woman who was doing jigsaws in labour?

only read the OP. but I wanted a natrual/go as long as poss at home etc and a water birth with DS - he ended up with an epidural, me shouting to DH he wasn't coming near me again, pacing the floors so much gas and air I was sick, and generally in the end trying to convince the M/W's that really I knew better and althou DS's head was about to crown it wasn't to late for a c section cos that's what I really wanted! lol.

for DB i'm not going to write one - it will be how it will be if that makes any sence. hoping the labour ward won't be busy thou, last time it was only me in labouring so had pretty much 100% care for the full time I was in. (I know selfish and spoilt but it did help)

With my dd I said i wanted a drug free birth with maybe some gas and air if needed. Oh how naive i was. Had pethidine, gas and air and an epidural with an episiotomy and ventouse needed. Am nearly 24 weeks pregnant and will write a birth plan again with only the words "keeping an open mind" on it

ds popped out 6 weeks ago in just over 5 hours, with no drugs, just TENS & breathing, after a couple of false starts over 24 hours. I very much suprised myself; I am an utter wimp & was willing to go down the drug road at the drop of a hat, if I needed to. I like drugs. Luckily I had a brilliant midwife, in the birthing room at UCH, who had obviously read my optomistic plan (low lighting, quiet, as little intervention as possible, calmness, no pethadine, but totally open to advice from the mw). She encouraged me so much, I didn't even think about G&A. She suggested using the birthing stool, which I hadn't even thought about & totally involved my partner in the process. She was great.

I think it's a lot to do with luck of the draw & which midwife you get but I think it's good to write a plan, to be positive & to think about all the options, even if it all goes out of the window in the end. There's a lot to be said for positive thinking & I might not have thought about all the aspects of the birth, if I hadn't filled in my plan. I highly recomend getting mamaTENS from Boots & the natal hynotherapy CD from NCT sales; doesn't work for all, but worked for me for sure.

Had shedloads of lovely G&A for the stitches afterwards, mind. Wheee!