Convince my mate - there's no greater act of fiction than a birth plan - how'd u stray from yours?

[jaynehater]

My first birth plan called for whale noises and lavender and soothing massages, while real life coughed up four hours of induction, ventouse, epidural and gas-and-air.

Second birth plan, newly realistic me said 'drug me' - and I gave birth on the dining room floor leaning against the hoover playing jigsaws with dd1.

How badly did you all stray from your birthplans,(or am I alone here?!?) so I can convince my first-time pregnant list making deluded mate not to put so much store by hers (it's not how organised you are, Penny, it just happens!!!)

Gave birth in Paris where noone makes a birth plan! Was incredibly panicked by reading in all my English books that you should avoid giving birth on on your back with your legs in stirrups since this was my only option. Also very anxious about general opposition to epidurals since this was my only pain relief option. Went home and cried after trip round hospital as delivery suites looked so medicalised. Didn't fancy having an argument in French about what I thought I ought to be doing, so decided in the end to go with the flow and do exactly as I was told. The result was I had a fantastic experience - seven-and-half-hour labour may have been slowed down by the epidural, but was positively enjoyable, pushed my daughter out on the seventh push and was so amazed it had been so easy that my first words on being presented with my baby were: "Is that it?" Made my husband vow not to leave Paris until baby no 2 had been born, which he was, two years later in a similarly pleasurable way. The moral, in my case, sometimes the experts know best. Would never have had such a lovely experience if I'd tried to impose my own birthplan on them. Also not terribly helpful to pregnant English friends who ask for advice on giving birth :"Do it it in France!"

Planned for a no frills drug free natural birth - purely because drugs always give me foul side effects and I wanted to be out of hospital very quickly. Ended up with an emergency c-section . However I did deal with stonking contractions without even gas and air so I did my best.

Me and my DP will do a ceremonial burning of the birth plan one day! I read it whenever I feel like a laugh .

Just to clarify, when I said "Is that it" - I meant is that the labour and birth finished - wouldn't want anyone to think I was talking about my daughter!

my birth plan for no 3 was a few pages long, covering every eventuality i could think of eg if breech,then this, but if that not pos, then this, if c section, then this, right down to type of stitching preferred . yes, i am a control freak but I felt much happier going into it with such a detailed plan. also had a doula (she was sooooo fab) to make sure it got read and paid attention to.

i arrived at hosp 7cm and wondering how i got myself into this predicament. around 2am after 12 hrs of labour decided i'd like an epidural after all, please. this brought labour to a grinding halt and was able to catch a couple of hours sleep with dh sleeping on a camp bed beside me.

stuck to plan as closely as poss, lots of walking, jacuzzi bath etc before meekly requesting epi. baby born 24 hours after start of labour, dh cut cord, ds handed over immediately for skin to skin, bf right after apgars, was even able to use birthing mirror to see him arrive - this was lovely and i highly recommed it to EVERYONE!

in all, stuck pretty closely to plan

Think it depends on how detailed your birth plan is.

After talking to family and friends who had all had babies mine just said two things:

No pethidine (increases length of labour and you are more likely to have an assisted birth. Can also affect the baby and make breasfeeding more difficult). Main reason though is that we have a family history of reacting really badly to it and I didn't want to risk having me & baby in resus.

Gas & Air for pain relief.

Am glad to say that I got the birth I wanted.

This time its a bit more detailed. Have added Birth Pool to the pain relief options and don't want the injection for the 3rd stage unless showing signs of excessive bleeding. Also, don't want the cord cut until its stopped pulsating.

Hopefully, it will all go as planned again.

Birth plabn:

No intervention unless absoluetly needed
No pain relief, only gas and air
water birth]
home within 3 hours of the birth
Active labour
NO EPIDURAL
Minimal monitoring

The Reality:

Induction at 42 weeks
4 hours of intense contractuiion, as I was screaming "Give me the fucking pethedine"
Epidural
No water
Strapped to monitor for 18 hours due to being induced and having epidural
emergency CS

Also, had skin to skin on my plan and have that this time too especially after seeing this:

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1364&threadid=347038&stamp=070629215801}}

I think she should do a birth plan. I din't stick completely to mine but there were things I had put on that the midwife mde sure she discussed with me

eg I said no medical students so she told them to go away

I said I didn't want an epidural so when it came to it and I was screaming for an epidural she talked me throuh it. I didn't have it and I was glad because ds popped (!) out an hour later and I'm sure the epidural would have delayed things

Haven't read the thread but I think she should do one too. I was very sceptical, but all the midwives referred to mine and didn't give me an episiotomy because I said not to on my plan. Phew. Only had a first degree tear.

to be fair regardless of how it deviated from the original, i found it a useful exercise.
i discussed it with dh in detail we both were aware of our option and feeling .

in the end some things did go according to plan others did not but am glad i gave it some thought

but best not to get too hang up about it

Haven't been able to read all of the posts in this thread, so sorry if someone else has already posted something similar; I think a lot of mums need birth plans so that they feel prepared. A birth plan makes you think about the options you might be presented with and therefore you have to find out about what that means for you and your baby. knowledge of scary situations = reduced fear, and reduced fear = reduced pain.
My birth plan was in my hospital bag (packed from 36 weeks waiting by the front door I might add! I nested like crazeee) which is where it stayed until my lovely ds was about 1/2 hour old when midwife says "lets look at what you thought you wanted" or something similar.

As it happens, my birth plan and reality were quite similar. In the plan I wanted to avoid pethedine completely, have an epidural only if felt necessary and would need assistance making the decision when that decision arose, no epesiotomy, instant skin to skin & bf asap. Reality = gas & air, lovely bonding time immediately after and latched straight on.

Only reason the plan stayed in my bag was because it all happened so quickly.

I haven't read all the replies but I think first time mums like making birth plans.

Yes you're right.
I remember seeing an expectant mum on tv telling us what she was going to have and not have, how it was all going to be oh so natural blah, blah.

It was kind of satisfying to see her post birth saying that she'd had an epidural

As a first time mum a birth plan was really important to me. I was fully aware that it was just a plan, and that it would likely be deviated from, but as it was the unknown, it gave me a sense of confidence that I had an idea what would happen. I am glad I did one, even though it was not followed to the letter.

My went pretty much according to plan:

Plan: No pain relief what so ever
choice of birth positions
baby placed on my chest right after
DH to cut the cord.

Actual: No pain relief what so ever
Had to lie flat (due to distressing baby not liking many other positions)
Cord cut at perineum due to being wrapped tight around his neck.
Because he was distressing and cord had to be cut before entire body emerged he was wisked to get checked out before given to me.

Tell your friend to ask for things she can control.

I'm absolutley certainn I heard the MW snigger at the one I'd printed out, with bullet pionts and subheading for Ds1.

It probably up in their staff room somewhere, 8 yr after the even still causing a laugh.

I didn't bother doing one with the others.

(actaully that a lie, I wrote "a cup of tea with no sugar would eb nice" on Ds4's)

plan: yoga, deep breathing, mint tea and whale music

reality: 2 weeks overdue, breech, induction, c-section

whoops!!!!

Bullet points!! I know P's got bullet points on hers!! It's a syndrome!! Thank you LTH!

I planned to listen to a favourite CD during the birth. We brought it in along with the player. Tried it for a while until I got arsey with everything especially 'that bloody music'. So he tuned in to West Ham v Wrexham in the 4th round of the FA cup. .

Refused to do one...first baby, no idea what to expect....decided to read as much as possible beforehand so I knew all my options and go just with the flow and keep an open mind.

(Had a straightforward delivery, no pain relief needed.)

also, the midwives didnt even ask if we had done one......

I was convinced from NCT classes that if you tried hard enough you could have a drug free birth. Well I tried bloody hard, stood up for 20 odd hours when failure to progress and ds' heart rate going scarily low led to syntocinon drip, epidural and ventouse. But, I couldn't have cared less. Was perfectly happy to trust the midwoves advice and just was pleased he was ok. Won't make a birth plan at all next time

never actually got to write one DD was born 12 weeks early!!
Not much was organised at all!!!