Convince my mate - there's no greater act of fiction than a birth plan - how'd u stray from yours?

[jaynehater]

My first birth plan called for whale noises and lavender and soothing massages, while real life coughed up four hours of induction, ventouse, epidural and gas-and-air.

Second birth plan, newly realistic me said 'drug me' - and I gave birth on the dining room floor leaning against the hoover playing jigsaws with dd1.

How badly did you all stray from your birthplans,(or am I alone here?!?) so I can convince my first-time pregnant list making deluded mate not to put so much store by hers (it's not how organised you are, Penny, it just happens!!!)

Birth plans are fine as they help you prepare mentally for the birth BUT the most important thing is that you don't feel like you have failed if things don't go according to your plan. A healthy mum and baby at the end is all that really matters.

Never wrote one but was planning a home birth, maybe a bit of gas and air.

Had em-cs with no labour at 34 weeks. Ha ha. Next time around (if I can bring myself to do it again) all I'm hoping for is a full-term baby!

But on the other hand I'm quite glad I had 30 or so deluded weeks of imagining my perfect birth - no harm in a birth plan I think.

hatwoman

but hatwoman, what happened to the dressing gown?
[on tenterhooks]

First birth plan - No pethidine (after being scared shitless in Ante-Natal class)
No Epidural (ditto)
Only gas and air and TENS, want quiet natural birth with doves flying past and angels weeping!!

reality - 2 shots of Pethidine (lovely stuff) epidural and 36hr labour then emergency section!!!!

2nd birth plan - give me what I want when i want it!!!!!

Reality TENS, gas and air, 6 eipdurals (didn't work) and 7 attempts at a spinal then emergency section!!!!

Overall result- two gorgeous children but I am NEVER having any more!!!!!

FB x

I didn't have one - to me it was just another thing to get stressed about on the day. Had a horrendous time in the end and no planning would have changed that! (32 hours in labour) But had a gorgeous DD at the end of it !
I honestly think its not something you can plan!

Plan A was nominally homebirth, G&A and a birthing ball as I had to write something down for the midwives. In my head I'd already decided to just see how it went on the day and had the hospital bag packed just in case.

Reality was homebirth, a very long hot bath, lots of acupressure from DH, no use of the birthing ball but also no need for any pain relief.

So it went pretty much as I wanted but I was mentally prepared for it to not turn out as planned.

I suspect that the fact that the majority of women don't bother with one for subsequent births is all the evidence you need.

hmmm, well. I think a birth plan can be really helpful for you and your partner to understand what you really want, whether it is about trivial or important. and most importantly it is useful for your midwife to know what you want. because when you are in labour it is difficult if not impossible to get into long discussions and negoitation. if you don't make a birth plan, then your carers will have to ask you what you want, which isn't ideal, or guess, which is worse.
it isn't about the destination but about the journey. my birth plans were massively helpful in both births. neither of which was enitrely what I hoped for, but they helped me stay in control and have the best possible birth in the circumstances.
birth doesn't just happen - there are many things you can do to influence how it happens. it's your birth, you aren't a passenger

Even just thinking/talking about writing one is v helpful as it makes you at least consider all options and possibilities, even if you never get anything down on paper or, even if you do, never get it out of the bag.

what about things like- I would like to have skin to skin contact.
I would like the baby to be passed straight to me.
I would like the baby to stay with me or my husband at all times.
you lot just had crappy birthplans I think it's not a prediction.

Agree with Harpsi, they ARE worth writing.

HCC - thats pretty much what I had in my birth plan, which my wonderful midwife made did happen, even with most of the other things not happening. Most important for me, was that I wanted to BF immediately if at all possible. This happened, even though she needed some tlc.

But I had all those things HCC - without a birth plan. I must have had a particularly good MW as when I spoke to her she listened.

My birth wasn't far off my 'plan'. I used the plan to let them know my preferences and was realistic about the fact that you can't plan how your birth will turn out - so I added things that I would like to happen if things didn't go well. Spines freak me out so I made sure I mentioned on my plan that if I need an epidural for an emergency c-section I would be very anxious/stressed etc. Also made it clear that if I wasn't able to hold the baby after the birth I wanted it to go to DH for skin to skin with him instead.

I have to say I will use my last plan again next time but with a few minor changes - like I would like to try the birth pool and I want the syntometrine injection as soon as the cord has stopped pulsating!

OrmIrian, well that was absolutely the luck of the draw. good for you you had a good mw who anticipated your needs. that is absolutely and positively not everyone's experience.

OrmIrian, well that was absolutely the luck of the draw. good for you you had a good mw who anticipated your needs. that is absolutely and positively not everyone's experience.

(NB Harpsi how was the fancy dress? Sorry I was so neglectful re the headdress - circumstances and the antenatal ward conspired against me)

i don't believe in birth plans, babies can't read

(all marvellous thank Mrs B. why were you are the antenatal ward?? is there a threard???)

waves to harpsi, hellllooooooo!

(was nothing in the end just a Bit Of A Moment, but threw a spanner in my week)