Pregnancy after m/c (part 7), true hand-holding and support along the road...

[Uki]

Thought I'd start this in honour of Purple's effort so far, hope you don't mind Purple I liked this title best.

Welcome to our shiny new thread

I can sooo relate to the emotional outbursts - most of mine are tears now but before it was anger. I'm getting all sentimental and blubbery now over the slightest things! I do think its increased because of the tiredness as I've always got emotional when I'm tired...

On that subject, I spoke with my Directors today and I think it went well. They listened to everything I had to say and are going to go away and work out a solution. My HR Director was devastated to know how I've been feeling and wasn't aware my role had changed as much as it has. It would take me forever and a day to explain all of it so I won't bore you but basically I'm confident that its getting sorted now and I'll keep you updated when I hear from them. I feel massively better for having got it all off my chest now. And yes, I did cry in there!!

Poor lissie, ejt and fettle - go ahead and have a ball, there's nothing wrong with it!

How lovely to hear from time4tea!

Only 4 weeks firststar!? My that has flown!!

Hope you're well Uki? I think you may have got muddled up as I haven't got a scan but I thought I'd say hi and hope DH is getting better?

Basilbrush, are you going to take some time off to rest for a while or do you prefer to keep working and busy? Glad things are still looking very positive - just seeing the hb was enough to make me cry and they had to stop scanning for a moment while my belly stopped wobbling!

So sorry if I've been insensitive about the sex thing - believe me, we've had our dry patches too for various reasons so I know how it feels. Hope you can forgive me!?

Hi to everybody else!!!!

Take care ((((hugs))))

PLP xx

Hello I've been keeping away because of high risk downs syndrome blood test results but I had a detailed private scan today-it was incredibly clear. The sonographer couldn't find any downs syndrome markers, this doesn't mean that it definately isn't downs syndrome, but it makes it more unlikely.
I was so stressed about the appt, but glad I went

Great news Jossie! Bet you're feeling much happier now!

thats great news!

Morning

josie- that is good news I hope you relax and enjoy now, maybe a celebratory dinner or shop, why not

Purple- yes i must have you confused, i thought i read it was you on another thread having scan, not sure who i'm confused with now- sparklygothcat perhaps, your names are similar just kidding. yes thankyou dh is getting better, ds still a little sick, had to miss his first day of pre school.

firstar- Thankyou i am getting quite a lot of sleep now, sleeping in till 8 and even 9am, bliss. not sure how i'll cope when bubs arrives now. Yes i remember the last 4 weeks of first pg dragging a bit, i think it was because i was so anxious to see baby and know what he/she was. this time a little less anxious although a bit sick of looking whale like IYKWIM.

RE: emotional outbursts, I call it hypersensitive, I think it's worse in first 2 trimesters, but i'm still a sensitive now too.

Firstar- If you haven't already i was going to say make sure you plan plenty of lunches with friends, movies and dinners out if you can, makes the time go quicker and allows you to enjoy your maternity leave. I'm not sure you have this but I'm planning on booking a secret/mystery hotel for a night or two, it's a bout a third of the price of a normal 4 star rate. I feel like a treat, should be fun.

Morning all!

Good news on the scan, Jossie! Very pleased for you...

Firststar - I second what Uki says about planning lots for your maternity leave. Apart from anything, it may be a while before you manage to get out without a little person attached to you, especially if you're bf...

Bella - I think I mentioned on the previous thread that I ended up in floods over King Kong. Dh and I had a MASSIVE row at the weekend as well and, looking back, it was like a "bad mood" switch was flicked on Friday (probably 'cos the nursery manager made a comment about ds having been "spiteful" - how can a 17 month old be spiteful, fgs?!? That implies a level of intention that I doubt a 17 month old is capable of...). Anyway, point is that my emotions are all over the place. I am probably crying at least a couple of times a week and am trying to avoid sad news articles, etc. Bluddi pg hormones, hey!?

morning all - great news about your scan jossie!

Hi everybody.

Jossie I am so pleased for the good news about your scan. The waiting must have been dreadful. When will you next scan be at 20 weeks?

Basibrush good news on your scan! Seeing a HB is so reassuring! Sorry about the chickenpocks that's a scare! Hope you are immune.

Fisrtstar -- yes, there is a strong element of 'waiting' in preganancy, isn't there? I guess that's why it's called 'expecting' in English.
Hope that you will be able to keep busy and find a good pass-time.

Mumpbump, Fettle and Bella I think we are all completely entitled to mood swings etc. Can't say I note them myself, but DH sais that states what a bad observer I am. For me it in just a general disinterest in everything except mumsnet: work, friends, entertainment things I used to be passionate about now hardly touch me. But I am still quite tited (not as bad as last week) and part of my desinterest is just exhaustion?!

PLP - I quite enjoyed your sharing of . Also didn't know that the help of battery-operated devices was out (was wondering about it though). Maybe it's just one of these extra-cautioness by the company to prevent being sued?

Lissie -- so good that you are here. When will be your first scan?

to everybody.

Hello Ladies, glad I amused with my floor crying, room changing incident, have to laugh or I will cry - again! Glad to hear it is perfectly normal!

I wanted to ask another question, this time about your anenatal care.. my seems crap if I am honest. Saw the midwife two weeks ago when I was 7 weeks and she told me to call her for an appointment with her at the clinic int ime for my 16th week, I have scan booked in during my 12th week, does this count as anenatal??? I think 9 weeks between visits is appalling especially as I have had two mc one being an ectopic!
She was a vile woman who challenged me about my 12 week scan because I was going on holiday in my 13th week abroad for 2 weeks.. I said I wanted a scan before I went and that it was important I know before I travel whether the baby is OK and she told me that if she couldn't fit me in then I would have no other choice than to get a private scan at £80- she actually said that was the cost of a pair shoes these days so couldn't see the problem, felt like saying 'not your shoes love!'... so now have now idea what the difference is betwen anenatal classes, parenting classes support classes, how do I get onto parenting classes are they worth it who should I be getting this information from?? The midwife isn't until tomorrow but would be grateful of some amo before I speak to her, also she said during my appointment that there were lots of pregnant women at the moment and she was very busy- is this really my problem?

From my experience with ds, antenatal classes deal with what to expect from childbirth. I only did NCT, not NHS and that was certainly their focus, with a bit on breastfeeding. There was a very small amount of time spent on things like how to change nappies, but not a huge focus on things after the birth - not surprising really, given that they are ANTE natal classes...

No idea what parenting classes involve. Maybe these are postnatal classes which are offered by the NHS.

I think you can ask for a different m/w if you really don't like her. You'd probably need to speak to your practice manager at the doctors. I didn't think much of mine, but took the view that she simply had to process me so I didn't really care. I had ds in an NHS hospital so had completely different m/w there anyway...

Hi Bluebell.

Sorry, meant you not Bella in my last post...
The antenatal care here is very similar expect that you see the GP in between the midwife (10min appointments, mainly dipping urin...). In addition you can only get info/sign up for antenatal classes once you are past your 20 week scan. You can also only look at the hospital facilities once beyond you are past 20 weeks as well.

I had dreadful care after my mc (+ complications from which I still suffer mentally) and decided to try and stir free fom NHS as much as possible. I am in the lucky situation that my private health insurance will cover a large part of it.

In my experience a private scan with a consultant can be worth the money. Last time I saw him for 1h and could ask all questions I ever wanted to ask. Also, in my area there is an midwifery centre that specialises on complementary care for women who stay in the NHS system (e.g. you can go there for classes, to check on heartbeat etc). They do not do homebirths. If I were you I would definitely look into the option of changing the midwife/getting additional support. Maybe go to your GP and explain your situation?

After reading the article Uki pointed us to a while ago, I always point out to doctors that 'tender loving care' influences the outcome of pregnancies of women with recurrent miscarriage (there are more likely to succeed if you have tender loving care including frequent scans, reassurance etc.) and that therefore there is reason to believe that I need as much support as possible to have the best chances for my current pregnancy. I have had success using this argument. I also tend to point out that my complaint letters are still unanswered (after three months) and give copies of them to everybody. The reaction I tend to get is more time and better care, referrals etc. . So if you are unhappy about your care, you might want to express that formally in a letter.

I think it is very good that you ask these questions so early. Stay flexible and find out what will work for you...

Hi Glimmer and mumpbump thank you for the info, How would I find out about the midwife centres? I have tried to google it but nothing has come up, I livein Solihull in the West Mids happy to travel a bit..

I am toying with the idea of paying for an earlier scan because my next one is booked for 16th July...

will have first scan in about 2w at the moment my edd is the 7th march, im so so tired tho and desperately want to fast-forward and just get past those milestones (that'd be 9m then)

Thanks for all the best wishes you sent, I know I'm not totally in the clear, but feel so much happier!
Don't think I'll be getting another scan at 20 weeks as yesterday was a more detailed than normal anomaly scan. Might be having them for 28 weeks to monitor growth due to taking Clexane, some medics have said I will need them, others say not.
Best wishes to all

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Hello girls, been feeling bleuuggghh again, ear infection still bothering me had horrible headache and been sick lots. Plus heartburn.
My pg friend saw her MW today and it looks like she has GD! They found glucose in her urine and she measured 31 weeks when she is around 28! She's ok just a bit of a shock, plus MW suggested that she may end up being recommend to have a c-section because her heart condition. She sees the consultant in two weeks so hopefully she'll get some more concrete info then. plus she'll be having another scan.

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Hello or shall i make it HELLO, as it's a little quiet

anyone want to help me with a name- i want a boy name that's a little unusual. I have these so far and wondering what combination you like i need a first and middlename, what works

....here we go

Maxim (max) for short
Levi
Archer
Teo
Felix

any other suggestions??? unfortunately can't have any first name that's to surname like, as it will get confused with our surname that is a male name IYKWIM>

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Had a good chat with my friend, she's okay I think her head's just spinning a bit!
She showed me the nursery she's just finish decorating, it's so lovely! Told DH to get on with moving all the junk out of the spare room coz I want to get started

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Hmm, I think Levi Archer would work. Personally I like the name Archer as a first name but not sure which middle name I would put with it, probably Teo (although I like Leo). Names are soooo hard! We have a few boy's names we like but so far can't think of a single girl's name which we both like.
Well I put on my big jeans today, normally nice and stretchy and comfy - not today - 5 mins after putting them on I had to undo the button and zip as was getting a sore tum. Will be 14 weeks tomorrow and feel a bit daft having to think about maternity stuff already!
Have spoken to a MW today and they have agreed to test for a heartbeat for me tomorrow morning. They were fairly reluctant as they said it may be difficult to find and if they do there is no guarantee that baby will be okay even the day after. I explained that I understood all that but that as I had a missed m/c at 12 1/2 weeks and didn't find out for ages that I just needed to know that I have got past 13 weeks safely. I just hope they can find it although at the same stage with DS1 they found not just the circulation but also the click click of his little heart too.
Hope everyone else is okay, can never manage to catch up after a few days off!

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I am prepared for them not finding it Firststar but am really hoping they can. If not, I have another appt in 2 weeks and hopefully they will try then.
I am not certain it is baby but sometimes when I sit or lie down my tummy feels all quivery inside. Am sure it is not wind but not sure if I am just imagining it because I want to feel it IYKWIM? Anyway, hopefully the quiverings will help me not to panic too much if they can't find a HB tomorrow.
I just want to be able to tell my DSs and TBH it is getting a bit obvious now so would be nice to tell a few other people too! Also don't want to buy maternity yet in case it jinxes it!