Anyone out there who thinks they DON'T want to breastfeed....?

[ballanj]

Clue is in the thread title really!

I'm interested to learn of any expecting mums (old hands and first timers) who were very much of the view that they didn't want to breastfeed, for whatever reasons.

I'm just under 12 weeks, so some way off for me and I may feel differently about it as the months progress, but right now I'm very much thinking 'no'. I know a lot of mums say 'breast is best' but for some reason, no idea as to why, it just doesn't appeal to me as being the option I'd choose. Does this make me a terrible person?! Maybe it's because I don't want to feel like a milking cow and being on demand and wanting my partner and other family members to share in the feeding. Are there any other mums that just express in order to bottle feed? I'd be really interested to know what everyone else really thinks. And please, no judgment or 'this way is the right way' as everyone is different and I'm still trying to find my own way on this and gauge what I really feel! Thanks x

Parker - it should be a last resort
The medical professionals/world health organisation say you should breastfeed a baby for 2 years, if you can’t then use donor milk, if you can’t use donor milk then formula

Why would you chose not to try and follow medical advice and just choose the 3rd option? If there’s a reason to use ff then great - but when else is it seem as acceptable just to ignore health advice?

Not again Teapot

You're like a Jack Russell on Acid

Perhaps pp doesn't want donated BM maybe she just chooses to ff

Clue is in the title of this thread

Don't get yourself deleted ....Again

Why on earth would I be deleted for quoting published, accurate, medical recommendations.

You really have fallen hook line and sinker for formula company’s marketing

Redtea - ff was my first choice and not a last resort. My DC’s, my choice = happy healthy DC’s.

I don’t understand how people think formula is equal to breastmilk

Yes it’s an excellent substitute if you need it and you should never feel guilty if you do.

Parker - yeah your choice to do it of course. I guess like it’s a smokers choice to smoke around their kids too. Each to their own.

And as a pp said - how can you know they are healthy - they are healthy SO FAR - you don’t know what health problems they may or may not have in later years

@Parker231 there is nothing wrong or inaccurate with what @Redteapot67 said. Breastmilk is best - fact. However, what no one is saying is that if you have to use it for medical reasons, be that physical or mental, that you should feel or be made to feel bad about it. If I was only left with formula as an option for feeding my baby then of course I would - and I wouldn't feel any shame in doing so. However, I think what seems wrong to a lot of people is not even trying when it's got so many benefits for the baby and it's future. Why not just try? There are people on here so weren't going to try and thought they'd hate it and ended up breastfeeding successfully. I think the fact that it is advertised makes it seem like the natural alternative so it's easy to make that decision without too much thought to what it can't possibly do compared to breastmilk (antibodies etc). I know if I had to formula feed then I'd be honest about that.

I did not want to bf. Discussed with my DH (a GP) and decided to ff from day one. I did not feel guilty. Deciding how to feed your DC’s is one of many choices you make as a parent. I don’t care how others feed their DC’s and have no regrets as to my decisions.

I did not want to bf. Discussed with my DH (a GP) and decided to ff from day one.

Not sure what your DH's job has to do with anything. If he's a reasonable man he knows it's your choice and will not force you. I feel you stuck that in there to suggest that his being a GP validates from a medical perspective your choice. Which it does not. In his professional capacity he knows as the entire medical establishment does that breast milk is the most appropriate food for infants.

My DC’s, my choice = happy healthy DC’s
You can’t actually think the first half of that equation equals the second half? I’ve worked with children whose parents choice has been to take drugs around their children (= happy healthy dcs?) Or even to feed them Big Macs very other day or smoke in the car with them. That your dc are happy and healthy has nothing to do with it being your choice to ff them, it has to do with fm being an acceptable, though not quite as good, alternative to bm.
It was my mum’s choice (heavily influenced by the time she lived in) to wean me at 4 weeks old. Was that a good choice? I don’t think so.

If breastmilk really made a profound difference in developed countries with clean water the NHS would strongly encourage lactating women to donate extra milk and provide donor milk to people besides preemies and other babies with specific health problems where it does make a difference (due to weakened immune systems or whatever). The fact they don’t, the fact that that isn’t a big campaign shows that it’s not a significant predictor of anything for normal weight full term healthy babies. Which it isn’t.

Me and it's because of this forum actually, no support at all from a partner, women complaining it's only them who can feed the baby and do night feedings, babies who won't take a bottle at all- ever.
Women who say ebf has affected their mental health because of the sleep deprivation etc. I dont want that for me

Breast milk is by far the best. Most people here seem to be obsessed with cows milk fortified with vitamins. Breast milk is human milk for a human baby. I have had (bf 3 year old) and still having a fantastic time breastfeeding my 7 month old . I have had no problems whatsoever. Not everyone has a bad experience breastfeeding. However it is an individual choice of how one wants to feed their baby. Just hate how some woman here claim FF is nearly as beneficial as BF. Which is complete bollocks.

There is so much frenzy around BF, on the other hand FF is the answer to all problems. FF is like the holy grail here. Yes bf can be a little difficult in the first few weeks for some women, but once you get past that stage, breastfeeding is the most beautiful experience.

If breastmilk really made a profound difference in developed countries with clean water the NHS would strongly encourage lactating women to donate extra milk and provide donor milk to people besides preemies and other babies with specific health problems where it does make a difference (due to weakened immune systems or whatever).

What the NHS does is encourage all women who give birth to directly breastfeed their own children, which doesn't require funding for developing nationwide milk banking and screening - as you suggest. And it's absurd anyway to expect the minority of women who currently breastfeed to basically become wet nurses for the rest of the nation.

The amount of donated milk that could be made available from lactating mothers would still be miniscule compared to the availability of formula, so the NHS is correct to focus on it for ill and premature babies.

redteapot thank you for putting up a picture of the difference between BM and Formula. You cannot compare the two. Breastmilk is by far the best.

Me and it's because of this forum actually, no support at all from a partner, women complaining it's only them who can feed the baby and do night feedings, babies who won't take a bottle at all- ever.

Yes - having your newborn dependent on your for the first few months of their little life is such a burden.

itchybitsy do remember though that people post on here when it’s hard - I’ve only posted when I’ve had a problem with latch or whatever, I never then posted to say “another easy week of breastfeeding!” It’s like the relationships section, no one starts a thread when their marriage is going well.

What the NHS does is encourage all women who give birth to directly breastfeed their own children, which doesn't require funding for developing nationwide milk banking and screening - as you suggest. And it's absurd anyway to expect the minority of women who currently breastfeed to basically become wet nurses for the rest of the nation.

Don’t something like 80% of women breastfeed for at least the first few weeks? It’s only a minority later on when all the people who failed for whatever reason have dropped out. Breastfeeding their own children obviously isn’t working.

Breastfeeding takes about - on average - about 6 weeks to properly establish, at which point it becomes a simple latch-on - feed - latch-off exercise.

The vast majority of people in non-breastfeeding countries give up - for whatever reason - well before it hits the easy stage.

Don’t something like 80% of women breastfeed for at least the first few weeks?

It's not recommended to regularly express until supply is established at 4-6 weeks. Which is around the point the majority of British mothers quit. I've expressed for two babies now and couldn't produce anything extra beyond what the babies drank directly until at least 6 weeks.

Your comments make very clear you know very little about breastfeeding. Which is part of the problem - lack of education on how it works and what to expect. Women think the baby will just latch on and when it's slightly more complicated they think something is wrong with them and quit.

I “breastfed” for 6 months with an sns although the vast majority of the actual food was formula. I saw a lactation consultant and attended breastfeeding support weekly. I am well aware the babies can have problems latching and that it takes 6 weeks to get established because I was desperately counting down those weeks (and only after them, when my baby looked emancipated) supplemented with formula at more than one feed (I was forced into the one feed with threats of hospitalisation).

You don’t hear about the positives and nice bits of breastfeeding here because if any poster bares mention them they get immediately shot down by ppl saying they are making ppl who tried and failed to breastfeed feel guilty

There is no acknowledge at all that ff can bring its own problems and that even when people switch sometimes the baby doesn’t sleep, they are still doing all the feeds, their mental health is bad, the baby has digestive problems. Things like constipation are common in a ff baby but not in bf baby. Ff babies are by far more likely to be over weight.

Die ant - the comments on here are not directed to people like you. They are to people who start ff with their first baby and don’t even ever try bf - even for collustrum.