Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

It went as quickly as it came! I can’t say anything has ever really worked in the past other than waiting it out. Bloody hurts though!

Thanks para and everyone, I’m 23+1 now so will ask tomorrow about the fibronectin. I think the main measurement was 24mm, but when she put pressure on my abdomen it opened up a little bit to 18mm - is that funnelling? I think I’ll be scanned again tomorrow...

Great news miami and hopeful, I’m really pleased for you both! And labmum, supercute story about your baby trying to kick your DH off the sofa

Good luck today Vuduvu. Funnelling is when they can see the cervix opening from either above or below. I know in my clinic they would be happy enough with over 20mm at 23 weeks so do speak with your consultant and see what they think. I'm assuming they have been using the QUIPP score to assess your risk- 87% chance of term delivery is very reassuring. And remember that every week from now on leads to better outcomes. My score at 22 weeks gave me a 50% of rupture of membranes/labour by 34 weeks just taking into account cervical length; the FFN was reassuring and increased the chance to 80%. Here I am at 35 weeks with every expectation of getting to my elective section date.

Hi ladies! Do you guys mind if I hop on here (well, back on!!). I was on the thread (one or two threads ago!) with DD who was born in Feb. Just got my bfp today and think I’m roughly 4 weeks although I have weird cycles due to breastfeeding DD so today was actually CD43 but I had a negative FRER a fortnight since and the line is clear but not an absolute blinder so I’m going with 4 weeks ish.

Pleased to see so many of you have had babies/successful pregnancies from the earlier TTC/post-MC threads!! Hopefully you ladies will be as lucky for me this time as you were last! And talk me down off that ledge of anxiety that I dangled from last time. I’m determined to enjoy this pregnancy as I just didn’t enjoy it properly with DD as I was so worried that something awful was going to happen!

I’ve just fully read the thread and had to post again to say a massive congratulations to Miami and Annelovesgilbert on your pregnancies. I remember you both from previous threads- especially the incredibly sad loss of your daughter Miami and I’m so delighted for you both to be here and so far along!!

Congratulations NoParticularPattern!!!! What wonderful news. How are you feeling?

Thank you for your kind wishes. Slight disbelief about getting this far tbh but gradually adjusting mentally.

Full of disgusting cold and developed a horrible cough, feel very pathetic. Dragged myself to work as just too much to do and wondering if/when things will calm down. Had a mild realisation I’ve been pushing myself to keep going no matter how shit I’ve been feeling and I’m not sure what I’ve been trying to prove and to whom... Sending DH and kids out for a planned day tomorrow and staying in bed with a trashy book and all of the tissues. Not being able to take anything is taking a toll and I’m done.

Hope everyone’s doing okay.

Hello and congratulations @NoParticularPattern hoping that you are here for a lovely long uneventful pregnancy.

Thanks para, that’s really helpful. The consultant was very reassuring yesterday, I’m feeling a lot better. I was randomised on a trial they were running and have ended up on the progesterone pessaries, and they are going to do another scan in a couple of weeks time to see how I’m going. It is a dedicated preterm clinic but they don’t do FFN because of cost which is a bit disappointing...

noparticularpattern welcome back and congrats on your DD and your BFP

anne hope you feel better soon!

Ps para how are your swollen hands and feet? When is it you go back for BP check?

That’s great news vuduvu! Have you used progesterone before? A few of us are on it if not and there’s anything you want to ask.

Thank you. Coughing my guts up which is making my bump feel stitchy but taking it completely easy today.

Due my b12, flu and whooping cough jabs Monday so probably have to reschedule the flu one.

Thanks ladies :) I feel just a bit off colour really. Not really nauseous but a bit “meh”. Although DD got us up at 5.30am so could explain that!! Other than that I’m just in that early days anxiety that we all know so well. I know logically that there’s no reason this pregnancy would be anything but successful, but I’m sure none of us are logical at this stage!!

Anne sorry you’re coughing your guts up. I got a horrid cold at 37 weeks with my daughter and it really made my bump sore too. Right under my ribs. It was bloody awful so you have my full sympathies!!

noparticularpattern I am have been so incredibly illogical all through the first and second trimester and I’m sure I will continue to be so! But maybe the fact that you’ve had a successful pregnancy with your DD will help a bit? I hope so

anne I put the first one in last night... only thing so far is I wasn’t sure I got it up far enough! Put it in lying down in bed which is what they suggested. Any thoughts?! Maybe it doesn’t actually matter that much given they said I could use it rectally if I wanted!

How many are you on a day vuduvu? It absorbs better up the front and if it seems like a lot comes out in the morning it’s just that the waxy delivery mechanism is quite big and can be messy. Wearing knickers and a pad at night can help. Just shove it up (gently) and it won’t come out unless you get up and walk around.

Lying down is exactly right, then try and keep your lower half flat and fall asleep. It’s the very last thing I do.

If you’re doing a morning one as well up the bum works better as it won’t come out. It takes about an hour to absorb so try and go to the loo before you pop it in in the morning.

If you’re DTD, can’t remember if you are, then it’s fine to do it at night, have a quick clean up and then pop the suppository in. I was worried it would be very messy or not work after but it’s fine.

How long are you on it for?

NoParticularPattern I think some paranoia is totally normal after miscarriages. I’m still not really believing there’s a baby coming in 3 weeks!

Vuduvu glad to hear your consultant was reassuring. Plenty of ladies on the incompetent cervix support group are on that trial I think (stitch vs Arabian pessary vs stitch?) or a similar one.

Anne hope your cold is improving.

I’m incredibly puffy. Was back in yesterday and have some protein in urine, bp was a little high. Was same at end with DD- was just on cusp of pre-eclampsia but never fully developed. Thinking it will be same again this time. Plan to get checked again in a few days, doing daily urine dips at home. If anything progresses between now and 37 weeks I’ll be starting medication, if after 37 weeks they’ll deliver. Can’t fit into any of my shoes, even the bigger ones I bought a few weeks ago and my fingers are feeling tight and uncomfortable. Not long to go at least! Might have to stop work next week though.

Thanks anne - I’m just on 200mg a day from now until 34 weeks. Last night’s went a bit better, put it in very last thing and felt like I’ve got the hang of it. Yeah think I will wear a pad though to catch all this greasy stuff!!

Sex is not an issue as we’ve now been banned until 34 weeks... can’t say I mind too much at the moment as I’d been feeling a bit anxious about it but maybe in a few weeks I’ll be feeling differently!

vuduvu and paranormal I’m glad I’m not alone! I was in disbelief about there actually being a baby at the end of it until I had her on my chest after delivery. I think the first time it really properly hit me was when she was crowning and I felt her turn slightly. Not the nicest feeling in the world but it was at least confirmation that there was a live baby inside me!! I’m trying hard not to be super anxious but time has done that “pouring treacle” slow down that I’m sure is familiar!

paranormal I am glad they are keeping an eye on you- I had similar towards the end with DD but I don’t think it helped that I had done a few really long days on my feet decorating, cooking and cleaning at home ready for my husband and MIL’s birthdays (which helpfully were the days right before my midwife appointment!). Although my BP took a while to come down after I had DD (and the the swelling really kicked in!!) so perhaps the long days weren’t entirely to blame!!

My current mantra is a slight adaptation of the usual “today I am pregnant”: “there is no reason why this pregnancy won’t be successful, the same as all the others across the world that are currently at this stage”

I’m in absolute bits. I’m bleeding. Was 12 weeks yesterday am I’ve got my scan on Tuesday. I can’t believe this is happening

Oh @Iswallowtoothpaste that is the worst. Can you get seen before the scan? I feel awful for you. But just wanted to say that I have had full on bleeds in pregnancy before that were nothing to do with the baby. Try and stay calm and see if you can get someone to see you before your scheduled scan. It's the absolute pits, here to hold your hand.

Sending huge hugs @Iswallowtoothpaste, try giving the EPU a ring and hopefully they'll see you today. X

I’m honestly not sure if I can. I’m so upset and I’m trying to compose myself before I can even ring anyone. It would happen on a weekend got both kids here and don’t know what I’d do with them if I have to go through today.

@Iswallowtoothpaste oh love, a handhold from me too xxx

Have you had any pain, back ache or cramps and how heavy is it?

I’d never bled in pregnancy till this one and at around 9 weeks I had a bleed out of nowhere out at a friend’s. Scared me absolutely shitless especially as it was bright red. We got seen at the EPU and had a scan, baby was fine and they couldn’t even see where the bleed was coming from. At a later scan they could see a big clot and it was probably from that but it hasn’t happened again and the clot just reabsorbed.

You poor thing, of course you’re completely freaking out. I struggled to believe it when it happened but as Miami says, sometimes it can happen and not be anything wrong with the baby at all.

Rest up, really put your feet up and do nothing, keep hydrated, try and eat to keep your strength up and call the EPU if they’re open today or tomorrow. Here for you

Good mantra NoParticularPattern and you’re so right about time. Nothing goes slower in the world than the first 8 or so weeks, it’s maddening. I hated feeling like I was wishing time away, marking the days, but it will speed up eventually. Look after yourself.

That sounds pretty grim para, so sorry you’re having a hard time and must be really uncomfortable. Definitely finish work as soon as you can. Are you checking your bp at home? Hope you’re not too stressed by it. You’ve had such a tough few months of it, hope DH is looking after you.

Glad it’s going okay on the cyclo vuduvu, hope you’re feeling well. It gave me mega bloat but as you’re much further along hopefully you won’t notice anything different.

I’m a bit emotional today, so glad we’ve all got each other.

I’ve called the EPU who said that they don’t have any scans until Wednesday so to just keep my Tuesday scan. All I want to do is go for a bath to help my back but OH is out because some sheep have got out and both kids are playing outside so I’m trying to keep an eye on them. OH wants to take them to a play park when he gets back but I really don’t want to go anywhere so we’ve just had a row. Doctor told me to rest and all he’s said is ‘all you’ve done is fucking rest.’ He’s such a selfish fucking arsehole at times. If this ends badly I think that’ll be it for us!!

Sending lots of love and hugs @iswallowtoothpaste. I'll keep everything crossed for you xxx

Iswallowtoothpaste bleeding is always shit, but as others have said it’s not always bad news. I’ve had bleeds in all my pregnancies apart from MMC. In my first pregnancy I had a huge bleed at 15 weeks which was a cervical erosion and this pregnancy I had constant spotting and bleeding from a subchorionic haematoma which didn’t do any harm. So it can go either way. Sorry your OH isn’t being supportive, it’s hard enough without that.

Thanks for being so kind everyone, I’m all emotional here too Anne!